


Bound to Satisfy

by Bideroo



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), BDSM, Canon Compliant, Consensual Kink, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Safe Sane and Consensual, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, dom!rei, sub!rin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-04-23 01:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 100,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19140625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bideroo/pseuds/Bideroo
Summary: Both feeling a bit 'stuck' in life, Rin and Rei unknowingly become a large part of each other's way forward.





	1. Chapter 1

Knife in hand, Rin determinedly stared his opponent down. _I'm not letting you get the best of me,_ he pronounced (in his mind; he recognized it was a bit early in the morning to be holding 'out-loud' conversations with fruit). When the partially peeled orange offered no reply to his telepathic vow, Rin's shoulders slumped, mouth pulling into a frown. "What the hell is wrong with me, today?" His quiet plea seemed to get lost somewhere in the air above the countertop, and he glared at the bandage on his fingertip while he finished peeling, sweeping the rind into the bin and dejectedly shuffling to the couch. 

This morning had already been quite the winner, and Rin fervently hoped it wasn't a preview of what was to come. Munching absently on his hard-won snack, he replayed his conversation with Haru during their morning run. Sure, he'd been complaining a bit, maybe almost non-stop, but Haru never had anything to say anyhow, so what was wrong with Rin filling the silence? He'd almost bitten his tongue in surprise at Haru's soft 'Rin, please shut up for a while', and it had served only to compound his irritation when a few moments later, Haru noticed the angry set of Rin's lips and told him to 'stop pouting'.

 _I wasn't pouting!_ he asserted to himself as he stalked back to the kitchen, washing his hands. _He told me to shut up, so I did!_ Was it so wrong to expect a friend to be a listening ear? His life had been nothing but stress for several months now, and Rin felt it only natural to need to offload some of his thoughts onto someone else, occasionally. Making his way to the bathroom, he caught his own expression in the mirror and was forced to admit that, whether or not he was pouting before, he definitely was now. 

He knew it was ridiculous to be letting such an insignificant thing bother him this much, but he just felt… wrung out, lately. And getting home to find the neighborhood cat had left him a 'gift' of a very-much-dead bird on his stoop had set off the waterworks, embarrassing the hell out of him and making a part of his mind wonder if he was having some sort of breakdown. The mishap with the knife had been the last straw (he hoped), and as he stood defiantly in nothing but his skivvies, brows furrowed, he briskly slapped his cheeks and shot a weary scowl at his reflection. _Get your shit together, Matsuoka,_ he warned, exhausting the minute amount of energy he had for 'pep talks' on this particular morning, and got himself ready for his day.

 

*

 

"She swore up and down she didn't do anything, but that sort of thing is ALWAYS user error."

Staring up (waaay up) at his coworker from his paperwork, Rin tried to remember what the guy had even been talking about. _Not that it matters,_ Rin huffed to himself. _The man requires zero input from me to carry on an entire conversation._ Suppressing a cringe at the smug, self-satisfied look painting his coworker's features, Rin's eyes dropped to his phone, imploring Gou or Sousuke or ANYONE to contact him and give him a way out of this situation.

"It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be when it comes to updates. You LITERALLY just do exactly what I say, and it goes fine. Stop trying to customize things you don't even understand!" Pushing his glasses up his nose, he stared triumphantly down at Rin, expecting full agreement.

 _How does he even see through those things? Has he cleaned them in the last 5 years?_ Rin did his best to keep the muoe of distaste from his face, nodding. "Right? Listen, Jason, I've really gotta-"

"I never have these issues with you! Because you listen to what I say! I think we must work with a pack of idiots."

"I don't think… Look, I've got a ton of work to do, so if you wouldn't mind, I need to get back to it." Offering up his most placating smile, Rin silently urged the man to leave.

"Of course! Of course. I won't keep you." Jason's eyes lit up and he slammed his hand to Rin's desk, scattering his papers. "Oh! I just remembered! You know the anime I was telling you about the other day, with the subversive social commentary woven into the feel-good plot of friends achieving their goals together?"

 _NO, GOD, PLEASE, do not let him get started on this or he'll never leave…_ "Jason, I'm seriously really sorry, but I-"

"Last night's episode was BRILLIANT! Once the two main characters defeated the villainous overlord, their friend said something snarky like 'not bad for a couple of girls' and they did this fantastic takedown outlining the pervasive and dangerous sexism inherent in such a statement! It was so refreshing to see!"

Despite himself, Rin felt a smile creep onto his face. "That actually IS really cool. But hey, can we talk about this some other time? These applications aren't going to file themselves."

"Right! I'll get out of your hair. Need a coffee or anything? I'm heading to the breakroom." The guy's smile held a hint of pleading, and Rin wondered why on earth he seemed so hell-bent on pursuing a friendship when Rin offered so little in return.

"No thanks, I'm good. I'll probably…" _OH MY GOD, HE LOOKS SO DISAPPOINTED._ Clearing his throat, Rin started over. "Er uh, you know, I could use a bottle of water, if you think of it on your way back. I really appreciate it."

Beaming, Jason nodded. "No problem at all! Good luck with the applications, and let me know if I can help in any way!"

A tiny smile curled Rin's lips as he waved him off, chuckling to himself. _The dude is like a huge, overly-enthusiastic puppy that is way too smart for its own good,_ Rin mused, then looked back down to his phone. Pulling up his sister's latest message, he sat quietly for a moment, trying to compose a reply. Their mother's illness had put a heavy strain on both of them the last few months, and he could tell Gou was showing cracks, though she'd never admit it. Her request had been simple, asking Rin to cover for her tonight because she had to work late, but Rin could read between the lines- Gou's priority had always been her family, and if she was skipping her visit with Mom to stay at work, she must be under enormous pressure, there. Sighing, he typed a response.

 

Gou: Hey, bro! Mind covering for me tonight? Gotta work late, so I won't be able to get over to moms

Rin: Not a problem! I was planning to head over there, anyways. I dug around and found that manga you were asking about; I'll leave it with Mom so you can snag it tomorrow. Take it easy, ok? You don't have to work yourself into the ground.

Gou: That's rich, coming from you. But thank you, and YESSSSS I'm so glad you found it! I've been dying to read it! Love you!

Rin: Love you too

 

Just as Rin dropped the phone to his desk, it buzzed again. Afraid Gou had forgotten something, he swiped, then cackled so loudly he startled a coworker making his way down the hall.

 

Sousuke: What's the English word for 'sex worker'?

Rin: Oh my GOD, SOUSUKE… Where the hell are you?

Sousuke: Answer my question, dick. There are people waiting.

Rin: I can't believe you. Try 'prostitute'. And why do you need to know??

Sousuke: Because they asked, of course.

Rin: No. There is no 'of course'. Where the hell did you TAKE them?

Sousuke: Gotta go. Thanks for the help.

Rin: Unbelievable.

 

"Oh my God," Rin giggled quietly, turning back to his paperwork. As he transferred the information to the intake software, muscle memory taking over, his thoughts wandered. He'd wanted to see if Sousuke would go with him to that new restaurant he'd been wanting to try, but it seemed tonight wasn't going to work, after all. Glancing quickly up from his screen, it appeared the coast was clear, so Rin brought up his blog. _Gah, it's been a couple weeks since I posted,_ he noted, wincing. _And the last place I reviewed was awful._ He didn't like leaving his readers on a sour note for that long, but things had just been so… so whatever they had been. _Enough excuses, Matsuoka. You can do better than this._

 

Rin: Hey, wanna check out that new place tomorrow night for dinner? Fork and Platter?

Sousuke: Is this for your Epically Important Opinions On Food blog?

Rin: Is this for your 'Must Be A Hateful Bastard To Your Best Friend' contract you made with Satan?

Sousuke: If you're buying, I'll go

Rin: I can't afford to feed you, asshole. You eat like a horse.

Sousuke: Hmm… the menu looks pretty good. Damn, they're pricey, aren't they? You're DEFINITELY paying.

Rin: I hate you. I'll find someone else to go.

Sousuke: No one else is willing to spend an evening with your whiny ass.

Sousuke: Oh good lord. You're pouting, aren't you. Fine, I'll buy my own dinner, but you're buying drinks.

Rin: I WASN'T POUTING! Jesus, what is WITH everyone, lately?? Maybe I just have work to do and wasn't hanging on your every golden word!

 

Rin's face displayed his lie for the world to see, but he convincingly placed his phone down and started back in on his work. Or at least, it would have been convincing if he hadn't immediately snagged the thing back up when it buzzed again.

 

Sousuke: Stop making me laugh; I'm trying to work, here. Did Haru finally have enough of your incessant, self-pitying bullshit? Got a text from him the other day asking me what the fuck was wrong with you. He used the work 'fuck'. Tell you what. I'll even buy my own drinks tomorrow night, but you are going to talk to me and tell me what is going on with you, lately. You've been a hot mess.

Horrified, Rin realized his eyes were welling up. _No no NO, not here at work… Why do I get so damned emotional anytime anyone shows me even a shred of kindness?_

 

Rin: What, so you can make fun of me for whining? Seriously, go to hell. I'll go by myself.

Sousuke: I'll see you there at 7. Make a reservation; I hate waiting.

 

Ducking down as far as he could behind his monitor, Rin wiped angry palms over his eyes and tried to pull himself together. _Twice in one day? And it isn't even noon._ He eventually landed upon 'ignoring' as his best option for the tears trickling slowly down his face, and prayed to whatever gods there were that he managed to regain some control before his first client. Crouched at his desk like a question mark, hiding, he finished up his paperwork for the morning, and by the time his first client arrived, he felt ready to go. Firing off a quick message, he locked his phone in the drawer and strode out.

 

Rin: I will. Sousuke… Thanks. :)

 

*

 

Rin shook his head, a fond smile on his lips, and let out a small chuckle. "You always push yourself too hard. I told you you could stop 10 minutes ago."

Wiping the sweat from her brow, his client finally powered the treadmill down and stepped off, panting. "I know, I know… It just feels so good to push past my own limits, you know? I assume you've come to expect it, honestly. At least, that's what I figured when you started forcing me to come in as your last client of the day."

Nodding and laughing, Rin conceded this was true, and once she'd cleaned the machine, Rin joined her for her cool-down laps around the gym. "Past your limits, huh. What, like 'runner's high'?"

"YES! Once your body finally lets go, there's just this huge rush of endorphins and adrenaline and it's like… so good," she giggled, stretching herself over her bent knee before standing back up and stepping forward with the other foot. Turning a conspiratorial glance to Rin, she waggled her eyebrows and lowered her voice. "The thrill is kinda… sexual, don't you think?"

A surprised laugh forced its way from Rin's throat. "Isuzu? That's… wow."

Continuing her stretches and ignoring Rin's suddenly red cheeks, she motioned for him to come closer. "I'm serious, though. I think that's why I've always been so into exercise, in general. When I push myself hard enough, it turns me on." She shot him a shrug and wink, turning back to her stretching.

Frozen in place for a moment, Rin finally shook himself out of his stupor and jogged to catch up. _Oh my GOD, how can she say such embarrassing shit? I feel like MY cheeks are going to burn off, and I'm not even the one that said it!!_ "I d-don't really think it's appropriate f-for you to be saying things l-like that to me," he managed to stammer out after a herculean effort, startling when she stood and got in his face.

"Relax, Matsuoka. I'm not hitting on you," she laughed, pushing a finger to his chest. "Besides, you're gay anyway, right?" Rin's mouth fell open, utterly stupefied, and his eyes shot around the room, afraid someone might overhear. "Don't worry, it isn't obvious, or anything. I've just known you for a long time. And close your mouth. You look like a carp." Dropping a light pat to his shoulder, she returned to her stretches.

"Isuzu, I…" Despite his best efforts, Rin couldn't seem to force anything further to come out. Resisting the incredibly strong urge to slap his hands to his traitorous face and run away, he kept pace with her, her demeanor happy and calm, like she'd said absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

"Are you saying you have no idea what I mean? With the 'runner's high'?" she chirped after a while, looking back at him with a sparkle in her eye.

"I don't k- I mean, I know what you mean by the term, obviously."

"But you've never felt it?"

Rin thought over his daily jogs, his days of swimming competitively, his own intense workouts, and nodded. "I definitely have. I tend to push myself like that, too." 

"And it's never felt, in the least, sexual, to you?"

Rin's face, which had begun to cool down, immediately flared back up. "Isuzu!"

"I'm being serious, Rin. And for Christ's sake, would you stop with the blushing? You're giving me second-hand embarrassment!" Without waiting for Rin's cue, she stepped to the mats and laid down, flicking her fingers at him. "C'mon, help me stretch."

"Maybe you SHOULD be embarrassed," he mumbled, a bit petulantly, and obediently dropped his hands to her shoulder and knee.

"Well, I'm not. And I don't believe you, at all, when you act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Hell, my own brothers have told me basically the same thing. Sei told me at his last meet in college, he swam the last half of the 1500 meter free with a har-"

"ISUZU!" Rin cried, drawing the other eyes in the room to them. _Seijuurou, why? Why would you…_ Lowering his voice, he continued. "Your brother has always been too damned honest for his own good. And it's probably just something weird with your family. Genetics, or something." Rin deliberately avoided her gaze while he spoke, worried about what she'd see if their eyes met. He knew EXACTLY what she was talking about; he just had no desire to discuss it here, now, with her. Or with anyone. Ever.

Chuckling happily, she turned over, and Rin switched his hands to her other shoulder and knee. "My brother is a fantastic guy. And you are, too. You could probably stand to be a little more honest with people about what goes on in that head of yours, Rin." When he made no reply, she shook her head slightly. "Anyhow," she nearly whispered. "You don't have to say anything. I know what you're thinking. And I'm going to share a little treat with you, okay? I've seen how hard you push yourself. You're just like me. Stop- STOP with that," she uttered at Rin's shaking head. "Just listen. You and I have been doing this for what, 5 years now? 3 times a week? I know you. And I know you've been having a really hard time, lately. I don't know what it's about, and it isn't my business, but I can tell you are desperately in need of some stress relief."

Rin eyed her cautiously, wondering just what in the world she was about to embarrass him with next. "I don't-"

Suddenly sitting up, she held her hand out, Rin's reply dying on his lips. "Shh. Hand me my towel and water bottle." Making a grabbing motion with her hand, Isuzu waited for Rin to retrieve the requested items before patting the mat next to her, inviting him to sit. He did so, reluctantly, and noted warily that he felt like he was waiting for his execution. "So here's the thing," she murmured, a wicked smile on her lips. "You ever hear of BDSM?"

"Isuzu, what the fuck?!" Rin hissed, certain now that he was actually going to die, mortification threatening to squeeze his chest until breathing was no longer a valid option. _Oh my GAHD, I do not want to be here right now… Please stop talking…_

"Shh, it's fine. Stop fidgeting, you're making people nervous."

"I'M nervous!" Rin wailed under his breath, Isuzu suppressing a giggle at the wild look in his eyes. Rin's thoughts were roaring through his head, and he was certain that if he wasn't sitting down, his twitching legs would have already carried him, screaming, out the front door of the gym. Isuzu was not the first person he'd heard mention a connection between masochism and motivated athletes, and he decidedly DID NOT like where this conversation was heading. His jaw clenching, he recalled indulging in his curiosity a bit in college, but had gotten no further than some furtive research before his courage left him and he set the idea aside, never to be thought of again. Which had worked for nearly 10 years. Until now.

Isuzu leaned in, bumping his shoulder with her own before straightening. "You don't have to agree with me, or believe me, okay? And you don't have to say a word. Just listen, and promise me you'll think about it, alright?" Rin would do no such thing, but she took his pained silence for compliance and continued. "A couple years ago, I was having a really hard time at work; I had a boss that was just the worst. And my boyfriend of 6 years left me for another woman. Basically, I was stressed constantly, and distraught over my relationship ending. A guy I casually started seeing invited me to a BDSM play party, just to watch, and I was fascinated."

She stopped talking long enough to take a pull of water, then turned back to Rin. "I started doing my own research into it, made some contacts in the scene, and eventually screwed up my courage and reached out to a domme a friend recommended. She was so great, explained everything, made sure I knew what I was getting into…" Pausing, Isuzu stared off into space, a slow smile turning her lips. 

"She's wonderful. We still play together. But the best part of the whole thing is that suddenly, life just seemed… easier. It turned out to be amazing for relieving stress. It kinda… Like, it gets your mind off stuff, in a way, but it also gives you this really safe space to kinda let everything OUT, you know? I just cried and cried my first time, but it was all this shit I'd been holding in for years, and afterwards, I felt 10 years younger. I don't know, Rin. But you look like you could use something like that, too." Squeezing his thigh, she grinned and gave it a brisk pat. "Just think about it."

Before he could stutter out a response, she was off, energetically striding to the locker room. _What the actual FUCK did I just listen to? I feel like I just got trapped by one of those 'My Bible is the Real Bible' people in Hachiko Square._ Letting his eyes slide closed, Rin sat in stunned silence, the sounds of the machines and weight stacks blanking his thoughts until the growling of his stomach reminded him he needed to get dinner made for his mother.

 

*

 

"Mo-oom…" Rin softly called, stepping quietly into the bedroom with dinner tray in hand. He'd been relieved to find her sleeping when he arrived; he'd scolded her on several occasions prior when he'd shown up to see her dusting or trying to run the vacuum, her tiny, uncertain steps twanging something in his heart he still hadn't found the courage to examine thoroughly. "Chow's on, Mom." Placing the tray on the nightstand, he smiled and pushed her hair from her forehead, her eyes fluttering open at the touch.

"Hey there, kiddo," she murmured, her lips twitching into a groggy smile. "What are you doing here? I thought it was Gou's day to babysit." Her quiet laugh indicated her attempt at a joke, but Rin knew there was a serious edge; she was not pleased at all with needing others to care for her.

"Cut that out," he chided, his sheepish smile softening his tone. "Here, want me to help you sit up so you can eat?"

"Rin, I'm not paralyzed. There's still plenty of spunk left in this admittedly frustrating body." Her eyes sparkled at him and he felt his face relax, laughing lightly at the determined set of her mouth.

As he watched her arrange herself in the bed, pushing pillows here and there, he pulled a chair over and sat down. "Yeah, I got a text from Gou this morning saying she had to work late, so you're stuck with me."

She flashed him a wicked grin, tucking her blankets around her waist and legs. "That's fine with me; don't tell her this, but you are a much better cook." Giggling happily at the mock horror on Rin's face, she settled the tray on her lap, Rin nimbly snagging his own plate.

"She'd kill us both if she ever heard you say that," he laughed, lifting a bit of fish halfway to his mouth before pausing. "Hey… Has she seemed okay to you, lately? I don't know what it is, but something seems kinda…" He swirled his chopsticks in the air, as if the gesture could encompass whatever thought it was his words could not. Eventually popping the bite in his mouth, he continued. "Like, she just doesn't smile anymore."

"Eat or speak, child. One or the other. I don't want to watch you chew your food," she chuckled, taking a bite of her own.

"You know I do it BECAUSE it irritates you." Rin grinned widely, showcasing what was still left in his mouth, and guffawed when she slapped his knee, unable to tell him off with her mouth full.

Once she managed to swallow, she trained a hard glare at him. "Okay, I was wrong. I wish Gou were here; you are such a little shit!" Rin chuckled as the corners of her mouth twitched up. "But I think she's just stretched a bit thin, right now." Gesturing around the room, she went on. "I mean, there's THIS whole situation, and she finally got that promotion at work, so her focus has been a bit sca…" She trailed off when Rin's eyebrows shot up, obviously shocked. "Did she not tell you?"

Silent for a bit, Rin felt his mouth pull into a frown. "Why would she not tell me? That's… I mean, she's been wanting that for so long! It's a really big deal! What the hell, Gou?" Staring holes into the carpet, Rin searched his mind for a way to explain this newest revelation. _God, when is the last time we even TALKED about anything other than Mom?_ His mother studied him quietly for a few moments, lips pulled from her teeth in a slight grimace, before speaking.

"Kiddo," she breathed, the concern in her voice snapping Rin's eyes to hers. "To be completely honest, I'm not surprised she didn't tell you." Laughing humorlessly, she dropped her chopsticks to her tray. "You're both so worried about me, and then you two sit in here and do nothing but talk about how worried you are about each other, and I'm beginning to wonder if I somehow raised you to be this way, so worried about everything, all the time." She held up her hand before Rin could protest. 

"It doesn't matter, at this point. I'm sure she just didn't want to bother you with it. While she's thrilled, of course, it's also been tremendously stressful, and she probably doesn't want you freaking out over it."

"I WOULDN'T FREAK OUT!" Rin squawked, then cringed when his mother gave him a look that clearly said 'see what I mean?'. "It's just… I mean, I want to help her, if I can. She doesn't have to do this all by herself, you know? GOD, she is so stubborn!"

His mother's eyes flew open, a stuttered laugh escaping before she could choke it back down. "Good grief… What's that about the pot and the kettle? God in heaven, child. When's the last time YOU asked anyone for help?"

Lips downturned, Rin huffed and returned his attention to his food. "I do it all the time. Nobody wants to hear it."

"I'm not talking about whining and complaining, Rin. Everyone gets tired of listening to someone gripe nonstop about something if they never actually do anything to fix the problem."

Shooting her an embarrassed smile, he placed his chopsticks back on his plate, sighing. "I've had two different people tell me today that I was whiny and pouty." A quiet snort puffed from his nose. "I guess I have been a bit of a pain in the ass, lately. But… I mean, that's good advice and all, 'fix the problem', but I can't fix your health or the fact that I feel like my life came to a standstill when I retired from swimming." Tilting his head back, he let out a shuddering sigh. "It's kind of embarrassing, actually. Like, am I just going to be treading water for the rest of my life? I just feel like I don't have any GOALS. Makes it really hard to get out of bed in the morning, sometimes."

She nodded, patting his knee and offering him an encouraging smile. "We all have times like that in our lives. This probably sounds a bit trite, but… Try setting some goals, then? They don't have to be huge, life-changing things. Making and achieving some smaller goals might help you get a better feel for what you want your long-term goals to become." When he shrugged and didn't reply, a small pout on his face, she laughed and continued. "You know, I can think of something I'd like to see you do." Rin's eyes raised to hers questioningly and she giggled, poking a finger at his knee. "Get yourself a BOYFRIEND, Rin. You are so lonely it hurts to watch."

"MOM!" Rin yelped, a blush creeping over his cheekbones. "That's not… I seriously doubt I need one more thing in my life to worry about!! My plate's pretty full, in case you hadn't noticed."

Her eyebrows furrowed and she leaned back against the headboard, a heavy sigh dropping her shoulders. "To worry about… Rin, is that really how you see relationships? As yet another chore on a list? Another thing you have to 'do'? That just… That makes me indescribably sad."

 _Ugh, God, why can't anything go right today?! Now I'm upsetting my sick mother…_ "Mom…" he murmured, unsure of what to say. "It… I mean, you uh… It always seems… Well, you met the last guy. And the one before. They're always more trouble than they're worth."

Though Rin was not making a joke, a chuckle pushed its way from her throat. "I can't argue with you there, kiddo. But that is not an inherent 'property' of relationships themselves. Those guys were just… they were a handful. Maybe stop dating lazy, emotionally stunted man-children, and you'll have better luck." Her face was innocence incarnate, but she only held out for a moment before dissolving into giggles.

Despite himself, Rin found himself laughing as well, and he finally nodded, waving a hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah. Well, you go find me a well-adjusted, hard-working, attractive man that isn't straight or already taken, and I'll think about it."

A wide grin splitting her face, she snickered and pointed at him with her chopsticks. "Believe you me, if I could have, I already would have. It's a shame Sousuke's straight… He seems to be one of the few people that knows how to handle you."

"Egh, gross, Mom!" Rin cackled, shoving a bite of food in his mouth. "Though I do like 'em tall…"

"Is he gross? He seems quite handsome, to me. Honestly, I've halfway been waiting for he and Gou to start dating for the last 15 years, but alas, no luck…"

Mouth falling open, Rin abruptly leaned forward over his plate, skewering his mother with his gaze. "Mom, no. NO. I would never, ever allow Sousuke to-"

"Oh for crying out loud, Rin. People will do whatever they want, whether you want them to or not. And I was just saying I thought it would be nice, not that I intend to arrange a marriage. Anyways. Go forth and find yourself a caring, responsible man that will help you carry your burdens, rather than adding to them. And quit WORRYING about everything so much. You wear me out just watching." Flashing him a quick smile, she tucked into her food.

 _Well-adjusted… hard-working… responsible… caring… Someone that makes life easier instead of harder._ Snorting derisively to himself, he got serious about his own dinner. _Like somebody like that even EXISTS._

 

*

 

Rei held his breath, stealthily creeping forward with bare feet splayed steadily against the carpet. _Just… a little bit… further…_ Letting his breath out slowly from his nose, Rei raised his hand, phone firmly grasped in front of him as he edged ever closer, crouched low to the floor, eyes peeled for any sudden movements. _Almost… THERE!_ Triumphantly pressing the shutter button, he snapped several pictures before tossing his phone to his bed and dropping a large glass on top of the eight-legged squatter who had apparently shared his bedroom with him, last night. He slid a notecard underneath, trapping the spider inside, and carried the whole makeshift contraption to his front door, cracking it open and gently lofting the creature into his front yard.

Suppressing a chuckle, he strode back to his room, picking up his phone and flopping to the bed.

 

Rei: NAGISA. Finally, after heaven knows how long, I did not sleep alone, last night.

Nagisa: OOOOMMMMGGGGG WHAT??? tell me tell me tell me everythingggg

Rei: [image sent]

Nagisa: Rei-chan. REI. Are you freaking kidding me? I just screamed so loud my coworkers ran over! And you're lucky I have the reflexes of a ninja, because HELLO YOU ARE NAKED AND TAKING A PICTURE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR

Rei: Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard I snorted

Rei: I didn't even think about the mirror! *dying* Too bad the towel was on my head and not my waist.

Rei: I took 10 different photos, and through some miracle of optics and stupidity, my genitals are featured prominently in all of them. I can only apologize, which would be rather more convincing if I were not literally wheezing with laughter.

Rei: So, what did you think? Of the spider, not my manhood.

Nagisa: How'd you get the yen note down beside it without scaring it?

Rei: You are not the only ninja in this conversation. It is there to provide scale.

Nagisa: I know why it's there.

Rei: WELL? It is most certainly the largest spider I've encountered in my own home.

Nagisa: Rei-chan, I'm not sure what you're wanting me to say, but… It's terrifying. I hate it. Why would you send me a picture of something so awful first thing in the morning? And also that spider is scary too!

Rei: Har har. Well please find it in your heart to forgive me for thinking it was fascinating and wanting to share it with you. AND THE SPIDER WAS REALLY GREAT, TOO.

Nagisa: Hahahahaa! It's a really cool spider. Let me guess!!! You didn't kill it.

Rei: Of course not! I would never. Not to mention it was huge; it would have… crunched, and I might have lost my breakfast.

Nagisa: This conversation has to be one of the grossest I've ever had, this early in the morning. *gags* 

Rei: If you're snuffling around for sympathy, look elsewhere. It's two hours earlier here.

Nagisa: Not everyone wakes up in a blaze of self-produced sunlight while a choir sings in the background. I'm on my third cup of coffee and only just now spoke in a complete sentence. I'm going to go. And do my best to forget your dong and your spider and your Disney Princess sparkle.

Rei: I'm truly very sorry about the inadvertent penis-pic. Please delete it from your phone as well as your grey matter. *can't help it, laughing again*

Nagisa: Will do, cap'n. Hahahaha! Have a good day!

Rei: You as well.

 

Flinging his arms out to the side, Rei continued to snicker at himself for a few moments. _Oh my god, I cannot believe… Thank heavens I only sent it to Nagisa! If I had sent it to my parents… My poor mother._ He flicked back through the pictures, found one he would be able to crop himself from, and deleted the rest. Once the laughter died down, a small, familiar melancholy crept into his thoughts. Sighing, he let himself soak in it for a bit, as pretending it wasn't there always seemed to make it worse, then finally pushed it aside, standing from the bed to stretch. _Okay. Enough with the pity-party. Time to get on with things._

As he swept his eyes along the neatly ordered row of clothing in his closet, his mind ticked down his morning checklist. _Five-kilometer run and watching the sun rise, done. Nutritionally balanced breakfast with whole grains, fruit, and lean protein, check._ Rei's face scrunched a bit, remembering how the smell of the yogurt container had nearly made him gag. _I need to remember to write that on my grocery list. Geh. Let's see, so… Shower and shave, done._ Tugging a suit from the rack, he hung it on the back of the door and began to dress. _It most certainly wasn't part of my plans, but… Rescuing a spider and sending an inappropriate photo to Nagisa, check._ A smile crept to his face, and he allowed himself a slight giggle as he buttoned his shirt. Eyeing his pants suspiciously, he eventually snagged them and drug them to the ironing board.

 _Not bad,_ he decided, standing in front of the full length mirror once he'd fully dressed. The suit was one of his favorites, a dark purple 3-piece that Rei could somewhat embarrassedly admit went nicely with his complexion and eyes, and the lilac dress shirt Nagisa had given him last year for his birthday contrasted well with the deep, rich color of the pinstriped suiting material. _Probably a bit flashy for the office, but I enjoy how I feel wearing it, so they can kiss off._ Aiming a well-practiced, impeccable business smile at his reflection, he rolled his eyes, snorting self-deprecatingly, and gathered his things to go.

 

*

 

"Ryuugazaki! What did you do with that Bashor file? I need it for my meeting." 

Turning slightly in his chair, Rei smiled as he glanced at his boss, currently bent over his secretary's shoulder staring at her computer screen. "I placed it on your desk, sir, along with the Kawasaki and TrueTouch files, which you will likely also need for your meeting." _And if you stopped staring at your secretary's breasts long enough to set foot in your office, you would have seen them yourself,_ Rei opined internally, brightening his smile.

This promotion was turning out to be challenging for Rei in ways he couldn't have imagined 2 months ago. He had always been ambitious and driven, and he gave everything he had to his job when he was there. He'd been rewarded handsomely, a steady stream of accolades and promotions landing him where he was now, the youngest member of the company to reach his current position. As soon as this job had been offered to him, he'd jumped at it, excited at the prospect of finally having an assistant and perhaps getting his hours down from the 70 or so a week he'd been putting in for as long as he could remember. It had worked smashingly, Rei seldom clocking in more than 50 anymore, but the job came with some… unique obstacles.

"Hmm. Well, grab them for me. I'm busy, here." Rei's smile never faltered, used to his boss's behavior by now, and he quickly retrieved them, setting them gently on the desk in front of him.

"Please let me know if there is anything else you require, sir," Rei offered politely, then made his way back to his desk. _Except please don't. Next thing I know, you'll be expecting me to wipe for you when you use the restroom._ At first, Rei had been mystified as to how the guy had gotten to the position he HAD in the company, but it didn't take long for him to figure it out. The man was a consummate bullshitter, and had no qualms at all about taking Rei's hard work and representing it as his own. Thankfully, before Rei could sink too far into his uncharitable opinions, his phone buzzed.

 

Shoya-kun: Sensei, I have to cancel tonight. I'm really sorry! My sister's dancing in some play at her elementary school, and my mom is insisting I go watch.

Rei: That is perfectly fine; whatever you need. And supporting your sister's endeavors is quite admirable. How are your preparations coming along for your Discrete Math exam?

Shoya-kun: Eh… It could be better. I have a list of questions for you the next time we meet.

Rei: That's perfect. The whole purpose of me being there is to answer questions, after all. I'll look forward to it. Shall we wait until next Tuesday, or would you like to try to meet later this week? 

Shoya-kun: You would be willing to do that?? Thank you, Sensei! Maybe Friday?

Rei: My apologies; I am unavailable Friday and Saturday. Perhaps Thursday?

Shoya-kun: That would work! Thank you again! Have a great day, Sensei!

Rei: You do so as well, Shoya-kun.

 

Rei pushed down a pang of disappointment; he greatly enjoyed his tutoring sessions, and was thrilled he had more time for them now that he wasn't spending as many hours at the office. A soft sigh passed his lips, his eyes closing for a moment before he pulled himself back in focus. Settling back into his interrupted work, Rei plowed through his morning's tasks, everything fading from his awareness except the projects in front of him. Which is why he nearly jumped out of his seat when his assistant dropped a stack of papers on his desk a few hours later.

"You were really in the zone, eh?" she giggled while he blinked and tried to settle himself.

"Teiko-san… My apologies. Are these the studies I asked you to compile?" He gazed up at her interestedly, his smile genuine, and she nodded, briskly tapping the top of the pile.

"I was able to find a few you didn't even mention," she announced proudly, pulling her hand back to examine a long, painted fingernail.

Sliding the stack across the desk, he quickly flipped through as he replied. "That's marvelous, Teiko-san. Your work is stellar, as usual."

She preened at the praise, standing up straight and adjusting her blouse at her neck. "Why thank you, Ryuugazaki-san. I just can't help but give it my all, working under you."

Her voice had an unmistakable huskiness to it, and Rei felt his teeth grit, catching himself before the smile slipped from his face. Flicking his gaze to hers to confirm, he saw the suggestive sparkle in her eyes, dropping his own back to the reports. _Challenge Number Two,_ he thought ruefully. Teiko did amazing work, and Rei could not be happier with her, professionally. Personally, however… "I have no doubt you'll continue to work hard. I'll look these over and let you know if I have comments or questions."

Understanding she had been dismissed, she huffed slightly and headed off. _Why??_ he whined to himself, a pitiful frown tugging at his lips, and scanned over the paperwork. She'd been surprisingly obvious about her infatuation with him nearly as soon as they began working together, even going so far as to suggest last week that he should take her out to dinner sometime. So far, he'd managed to handle her not-so-subtle innuendo and flirtation with professionalism, but it was starting to wear on him, and the last thing he needed was for the wrong person to overhear her and start some sort of scandal. _I'm terribly sorry, Teiko-san, but you are barking up the wrong tree._

Carefully filing each report in its proper place, his thoughts continued to wander. She was objectively attractive, Rei conceded, but he would rather throw himself from a cliff than date someone he worked with. Not to mention, she was… well, a 'she'. While he had happily dated women before, it wasn't what he generally preferred. _Not that it even matters. When was the last time I managed to have any sort of successful romantic relationship? A couple years ago?_ Fully aware of where this train of thought usually led, he slammed the brakes on it and refocused on his work. He didn't get far before his phone buzzed, reminding him it was lunchtime, and he briskly organized his desk before setting off for the breakroom.

He'd made it approximately 30 feet down the hallway when an irate colleague stomped up to him and slapped a red-lined report to his chest. "What the hell is THIS, Ryuugazaki-k-.. san?" the red-faced man nearly hollered. Plastering a smile on his face, Rei looked down at his former teammate before sliding his eyes to the report he'd bled all over yesterday.

"Ah, Tsubaki-kun. This is in reference to the Merc-Raki contract?" Rei murmured, gently lifting the papers from his hand and flicking through them, nodding.

"I ran this by three different people before it got to your desk, and when it came back this morning, it looked like the book cover of a slasher novel. I don't have time for this."

Rei allowed his eyes to widen, his smile never faltering. "I apologize, Tsubaki-kun… I'm afraid I don't understand. You do not have time for… completing your reports accurately?"

As Tsubaki stammered and became increasingly more enraged, Rei found himself having to tame his own expression, fighting off a genuine smile. Snagging the papers back from Rei, Tsubaki sneered up at him. "There was nothing wrong with this report. You're just parading your newfound authority around, trying to make all of us look bad."

Face the picture of innocence, Rei made a soft noise of concern. "My word, Tsubaki-kun. I certainly apologize if you feel I've overstepped my bounds." Flicking his eyes down to the report, Rei continued. "I would hate for this to become a bone of contention between us, as members of the same team." Tsubaki's eyes betrayed his confusion, and Rei pounced on the opportunity. "I feel we all can agree that we, as individual members of the group, have an obligation to encourage and strengthen each other. When work leaves this office, it does not bear your name or my name. It carries the name of the corporation, and as such, we must work together to ensure it is of the highest quality. Wouldn't you agree?"

After a moment of silence, Tsubaki pulled himself up to his full height, nose level with the knot of Rei's tie. "This is ridiculous. There was nothing wrong with this report," Tsubaki spat, his gaze challenging.

 _This is awful,_ Rei worried to himself. _This man has been nothing but a thorn in my side since I met him. How do I…_ "I do not enjoy creating work for others. The guidebook is quite clear on the points I marked up, and I certainly did not write the guidebook. If you take issue with it, perhaps you should speak with Marketing." Rei had ceased any semblance of smiling by now, the moments ticking audibly in his head, just wanting to be eating his lunch and as far away from this obnoxious man as he could get.

"The GUIDEBOOK? This is ludicrous! Anyone ever tell you you're a control freak, Ryuugazaki?"

A faint smile dusted Rei's features, and he thought seriously for a moment before replying. "Tsubaki-kun," he uttered, ever-so-faintly emphasizing the honorific. "I believe it is appropriate for you to address me as 'Ryuugazaki-san'. And… Yes. They have." Schooling his expression into a look of utter boredom, Rei lowered his voice. "Control freak, huh? You know… I've actually won awards for it." When Tsubaki flinched, body language displaying his confused apprehension, Rei bowed slightly and walked away, mind on his bento. 

 

*

 

Rei was elbow-deep in soapy dishwater when he heard the notification from his laptop begin. _Geh, it's a bit early, isn't it?!_ he panicked, splashing water all over the counter as he tugged at his gloves and turned off the faucet. Bounding across the living room, he dropped to the couch and tapped the 'answer call' button before it could stop ringing.

"REI-CHAN!! Hellooooo!" Nagisa crooned, waving eagerly through the screen.

Rei found a chuckle pulled from his throat and he waved back, making himself more comfortable. "Good evening, Nagisa. It's a little earlier than you normally call, isn't it?"

"I just couldn't wait to talk to you!" As Rei barked out a disbelieving laugh, Nagisa continued. "No but seriously, you won't believe this. I got in trouble AGAIN for my clothes, at work."

"Nagisa… How many times is that, now? You've only been there for… What is it, now? 5 months or so?" Rolling his eyes, Rei pulled his legs underneath him on the sofa and dropped his chin to his hand. "It would be a tragedy for you to upend your entire life and move to a new country, all for a job, only to get your foolish self fired within half a year of being there."

Nagisa looked positively scandalized, nearly choking on the sip he was taking from his juice box. "REI-CHAN! This is not my fault! They're picking on me for no reason!"

"Did you wear a t-shirt, again?"

"IT WAS UNDER A BLAZER!!"

"Did it have a design on it, or perhaps was the neckband a different color than the rest of the shirt, thereby DRAWING ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO PUT ON ANYTHING BUT A T-SHIRT?"

"Screw this, Rei. I didn't call you to get lectured." Huffing petulantly, Nagisa looked away from the camera, ignoring Rei's loud guffawing. "Anyways. How was your day."

"Nagisa, I swear…" Rei giggled, shaking his head. "I even sent you that 5-pack of gorgeous, versatile black shirts. They're my personal favorites for things like that. They look sharp under a blazer, and they look good by themselves."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Mom." Shooting a guilty glance to his friend, Nagisa looked down at the floor. "They were all dirty."

Rei erupted into laughter again, throwing his hands over his eyes. "If you would occasionally tend to your laun-"

"I'm bored with talking about this," Nagisa interrupted, glaring at the camera. "I asked about your day."

Eventually settling down, Rei looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose it was the same as always. I can't really think of anything of particular interest that happened. Well, besides sending my best friend a mortifyingly detailed photo of my nether regions."

Tittering gleefully, Nagisa nodded and gave Rei a thumbs up. "Once the shock wore off, I was laughing about it off and on for the rest of the day. You're so incredibly smart, Rei, but sometimes you do just the stupidest stuff."

"I don't think it has anything to do with whether I'm smart…" Rei breathed distractedly, then abruptly pulled his attention back to his friend. "I saw Boss-san grab his secretary's butt again, today. That's twice now, in as many weeks."

"UGH! What is WITH that guy?? He is a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"It would be impossible to know for sure, but I don't believe she minds. Mm, did I tell you Teiko-san found a report I had written for Creepy Boss-san last week, and he had straight up removed my name and added his own? I feared she was going to get us both fired, she was so angry."

Shocked, Nagisa's mouth fell open, staring at Rei for several seconds before managing a response. "Um… Rei-chan, that's actually a huge problem. You need to tell someone."

A humorless chuckle pushing past his tensed lips, Rei shrugged. "I'm well aware it is a problem, Nagisa. At this point, my hands are tied. It's a new department, so no one knows me or my work. In a battle of 'he said/he said, I would not emerge the victor." 

Rei plucked at a seam of the sofa cushion, letting out a deep breath. "If I am truly honest with myself, I have to admit I may have hit my ceiling with this company. I'll get no further with that man taking credit for everything I do. I didn't love the work before, but these last couple months have been nothing but a slog. And Teiko-san will NOT STOP with the 'please fuck me, Senpai' stuff."

Snickering softly, Nagisa leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "I know the situation isn't funny, but I can't help laughing anytime I hear you say 'fuck'. I mean, I know you DO, sometimes, but you almost never do it around me." With a deep sigh, Nagisa leaned forward, putting his hands on his hips. "A dead end, then. Rei, you basically gave up your life for that rotten job. Like, I think I'm the only person that has seen you in a social capacity in years. Everyone asks about you all the time. They ask ME, in Australia, how their friend THAT LIVES IN TOKYO, WITH THEM, is doing."

"I did what I had to. I'm hardly the first person to spend more time at work than I would like."

"That's not… Rei-chan, there is so much wrong with what you just said that I have no idea where to start, so I'm not going to. Listen to me. I'm not smart enough to give you advice about your shitty job. I STILL think you should quit the danged thing and start teaching, like you've, you know, ALWAYS WANTED TO DO? But I WILL give you some social advice. Your cesspool of a career is finally offering you some free time, so use it. I hate seeing you so lonely."

Swinging his eyes to Nagisa's, Rei's mouth tugged into a tiny frown. "I AM lonely," he muttered, glancing around his living room. "It's been especially difficult since you left."

A cringe twisting his features, Nagisa sucked in a quick breath. "Rei-chan… I know, and I'm sorry. I wish I could wave a magic wand or something and we could eat dinners together again. But I'm not the only person in the world that enjoys spending time with you, you know. When's the last time you saw Haru or Rin or Makoto? Just… reach out. I know they would all love to hear from you."

Rei's eyebrows furrowed. "I know, it's… It's just difficult to do, once so much time has passed. It's as if I'm afraid if I say hello, they'll respond with 'and just who the hell are YOU, again?'. I kind of feel like I let everyone down, like I've been a terrible friend." Rei's head dropped, looking sorrowfully up at Nagisa through his eyelashes, and Nagisa felt his chest tighten at his childlike expression.

"Ugggh, I just want to give you a hug right now. I'm serious Rei, they ask about you all the time. Everyone would love to see you again. Oh!" Hopping up from his chair, Nagisa disappeared off-screen for a moment before plopping back down, his phone in hand. "I got this text from Haru yesterday. YESTERDAY, Rei-chan. 'I think I saw Rei on the train this morning, but I couldn't get to him before he was gone. Tell him to call me. I don't think I've had his number for years.' They miss you, Rei."

The tiniest smile curled the corner of Rei's lips, his chest heaving with an enormous sigh. "Perhaps I could manage something. I certainly miss them, as well."

"Of course you can. And while you're at it, it's high time you found yourself a lover, Rei. Besides Spider-kun, I mean," Nagisa chortled. "I'm too scared to even imagine what you two get up to in the bedroom."

"We just cuddle," Rei giggled, leaning back against the couch. "And while I don't disagree that it would be wonderful to have someone in my life in that capacity, you know that's… a bit complicated, for me." Throwing his arms over the back of the cushions, Rei let his eyes fall closed. "I'd love to have someone around to snuggle and fuss over and cook for. God, I seriously cannot remember the last time I actually KISSED someone. Being alone is far from ideal. But I'm just not certain the stars will ever align for me, at this point."

An understanding smile on his lips, Nagisa nodded and leaned forward, putting his chin in his hands. "I know, Rei-chan. It'll happen when it happens. For now, just focus on rekindling your friendships. And I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will someday cross paths with a delightful, gorgeous fella that will appreciate everything about you."

"Ha, right. Well, it's been a pleasure chatting with you, Nagisa, as always. Please do some laundry, alright?"

"I will, god," Nagisa grumbled, then chuckled and blew Rei a kiss. "Nighty night, Rei-chan."

"Good night, Nagisa."

Rei sat quietly as the laptop went dark, flopped out spread-eagle against the back of the sofa. _He makes a reasonable point. I can sit around here, bemoaning my own isolation, or I can make at least an attempt to do something about it._ Smiling fondly, Rei mentally thanked Nagisa for the encouragement, pulling his phone from his pocket. He stared at it, unmoving for several minutes, before opening the screen and scrolling through his contacts. _HA… So this is… surprisingly hard._ Swiping back and forth until he managed to irritate himself with his own indecision, he finally selected a name and sat up, thinking. _Okay. I can do this._

 

Rei: Makoto? It's Ryuugazaki Rei. I realized it had been a number of years since I'd spoken with you, and thought perhaps I should apologize and offer to buy you dinner so we could get caught up, if that is something you'd like to do. I hope you are having a lovely evening.

 

Hitting send, Rei let his arms drop back to the couch, an enormous, shuddering breath puffing out his cheeks. _Well, it's a decent first step. I'm boring MYSELF with the constant 'I'm lonely' shit. The worst that can happen is he s-_ Rei startled sharply when his phone almost immediately buzzed in his hand.

 

Makoto: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! Rei! I swear to you, I am crying tears of joy right now!! Shut up about apologizing, I'm so excited to hear from you I could just about die! YES! DINNER! Anytime! Seriously, I would skip my grandmother's funeral to see you!

Rei: Oh, wow! That is… Well, I'd love to catch a meal with you, though I'll do my best to schedule it at a different time than your grandmother's funeral. Did… she pass away?

Makoto: hahaha, no. I'm just really excited to see you. What would work for you? I'll seriously move heaven and earth, I don't care. I could also do lunch this weekend, if that would work better for you.

Rei: Oh, I am glad to hear she is well. Or at least, not dead. *awkward laugh* Lunch this weekend sounds fantastic. Would Sunday work? There's an eatery

 

His phone buzzed again while he was composing his message, and his thumb tapped it accidentally, simultaneously pulling the new message up while sending the other. _Crap, what the hell am I doing…_

 

Haruka: Makoto sent me your number. We should hang out.

 

Blinking stupidly, Rei gaped at his phone for a moment before closing the message and reopening his conversation with Makoto.

 

Rei: My apologies, clearly they didn't teach me to properly use a phone in university. There's an eatery near my work that serves excellent sushi, and the lunch special on weekends is quite affordable. Would you like to try that?

 

Rei was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed; he hadn't had to keep track of more than one conversation at a time since college. Clenching his jaw, he pulled up Haru's message.

 

Rei: I'm quite glad he did. I would enjoy seeing you very much. What do you have in mind?

 

No sooner had he hit send then Makoto's next message came through, and Rei let out a small grunt of surprise. _God help me, what the hell have I gotten myself into? Though… I don't remember the last time I felt this… giddy._ Suddenly remembering his- by now cold- dishwater, Rei did his best to wrap up his conversations and high-tailed it to the kitchen, feeling more energetic than he had in quite a while. _I'll have to be sure to thank Nagisa, the next time I speak with him. This is going better than I would have ever allowed myself to believe._ As he drained and refilled the sink, Rei's thoughts drifted to Nagisa's earlier words. _A lover… Finding someone who could appreciate everything about me, huh._ A wry smile made its way to his face. _Somehow, I seriously doubt that._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charting a course forward, hoping for great things.

"Okay so… You had to know I was gonna ask. Where on earth have you BEEN for the last few years? I think the last time I saw you was my wedding!"

Rei flinched, his shoulders tightening at Makoto's searching look. Now that greetings, ordering food, and typical 'small talk' were out of the way, he had, indeed, known this was coming, but knowing hadn't made it any easier to quell the guilty, self-flagellating commentary marching brass band-style through his brain from the moment his eyes peeled open that morning. _I suppose all I can really do is apologize,_ Rei admitted to himself. _Anything else would simply sound like an excuse._

Offering Makoto a sheepish look, he leaned forward slightly from the waist, his small bow causing Makoto to choke wetly on his drink. "I sincerely apologize, Makoto. I'm uncertain why I felt it necessary to disappear the way I have; it has been on my mind since I first contacted you, and any potential reasons I've managed to dream up sound like hollow excuses. It is certainly my hope that you can forgive my poor behavior." He managed to stop himself from appending 'Senpai' to his apology, but they both heard it anyhow, and Makoto's eyes grew wide as he began waving his hands.

"Okay, Rei… That's just…" Makoto's eyes darted around the restaurant, a light blush gracing his cheeks. "You don't owe me an apology, okay? And stop bowing; it's awkward! I'm not trying to make you feel bad; I just want to know what's going on in your life." As Rei straightened, expression uncertain, Makoto dropped his heated face to his hands. "Jeez, Rei…"

"I've… embarrassed you?" Eyebrows furrowing in concern, Rei lightly cleared his throat, unsure of what to do. "That was definitely not my intention… Are you alright?"

A tiny giggle erupted from Makoto's fingers. "It's fine; you're fine." Makoto let his hands fall to his lap, his eyes sparkling as he glanced across the table. "But no more apologizing, okay? Just tell me what you've been up to! Everyone's expecting a full report from me, honestly. Haru tried to invite himself along today like 5 different times."

Feeling his own cheeks flush, Rei dropped his eyes to his glass, dragging a fingertip through the condensation. "It would have been perfectly fine if he wished to join us," he eventually murmured.

"Haha, I knew you'd say that, but I wanted you all to myself!" Makoto tossed his head back, chuckling. "It's seriously so great to see you, Rei. You look good. You been doing okay?"

Rei took a small sip of water, then met Makoto's gaze. "I have been doing quite well, thank you. Though I often feel I don't do much other than work. That situation is… improving, I suppose you could say."

Nodding eagerly, Makoto leaned closer. "Right! Nagisa mentioned you weren't working as much. Did you get a new job, or something?"

"It's a new position within the same corporation. The post comes with an assistant, and she has been an enormous help." He bit back any further commentary on that particular situation and continued. "Prior to this, I was working nearly non-stop. The newfound free time is… well, I'd say it's exhilarating, in a way, but it is taking me some getting used to, if I'm to be completely honest."

"I bet! I can't even imagine working that much. Nagisa said you were… Well, I guess it doesn't matter. So what are you doing with yourself now that you aren't stuck at a desk all hours of the day and night??"

Rei gazed thoughtfully out the window, considering. "Hmm… Well, I've been able to spend a bit more time tutoring. Ah, I don't recall if I'd ever told you about that." Quickly turning to Makoto, Rei's face lit up, a warm smile relaxing his features for the first time that day. "I've been tutoring university students periodically since my graduate school years, and even managed to continue doing so throughout the worst of my work schedule, though I was forced to cut back to a single student per semester."

"So... you work in your free time," Makoto said slowly, a wry smile on his face.

"It's hardly work," Rei asserted, then his tone softened. "I love doing it. The students are so curious and hardworking; they're truly an inspiration. And it helps me keep my skills polished…" Trailing off, he paused for a moment, distracted, then snapped his eyes back to his friend. "Ha, anyhow. What about you? Things still going well with your lovely wife?"

Makoto beamed, nodding excitedly and pulling out his phone. "She's great! We took a weekend trip to an onsen a couple weeks ago, did some hiking, took a ton of pictures." He passed the phone to Rei, who scrolled interestedly through the album as Makoto went on. "She works a ton, so it was amazing to have her all to myself, for a while. It was almost like a second honeymoon… We just laughed and played and forgot about everything else. Gah, I wish we could have gotten away for more than a weekend!!"

"How wonderful…" Rei breathed, smiling at the grinning faces on the screen. "You know, I half expected you to have a herd of children, by now." Makoto chuckled lightly as Rei continued to swipe through photos, stopping to appreciate a particularly beautiful mountain scene.

"Trust me, we're definitely working on it."

Rei's eyes snapped up to his friend, a bit surprised. "Makoto…" _I would have never expected Makoto to be the sort to just… talk openly about something like that. I guess he's loosened up a bit, over the years._

"OH! Oh god, I didn't mean it like that!" Dropping his head to his arms on the table, Makoto let out a mortified titter. "Ugh… I just meant we're trying to get ourselves in a position financially where we can properly provide for kids. Hahaha, how embarrassing." 

_Nope. I was wrong. It was my own mind that was in the gutter._ "It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Rei began to laugh when Makoto raised his head, cheeks on fire. "It was my fault for misinterpreting what you'd said. If anything, I should be the one embarrassed."

"But you're not."

Rei snorted self-deprecatingly. "I suppose I'm not. I do not believe there's anything shameful about what you and your wife do on your own time." He leaned in, giving Makoto a small, mischievous smile. "Practice makes perfect, after all."

"REI!" As Makoto's cheeks flushed even further, Rei couldn't help giggling. _His capacity for 'being embarrassed' has to be the highest I've ever seen in another human. I should really stop teasing him; I'm beginning to worry about his health!_

Makoto sighed with relief when the waiter suddenly appeared, food in hand, and as trays and platters were arranged, he prepared to move the conversation to safer ground. Just as he was opening his mouth to speak, Rei beat him to the punch.

"Oh! So, are you still coaching?"

A wide grin spreading across his face, Makoto nodded, chopsticks fishing happily in his miso for a piece of seaweed. "Yes! Well, I still coach the kiddie team at the local swim club. But! I've actually completed my certification, so I've been working part time at a clinic in town, helping people with new prosthetic limbs get used to using them."

"No kidding… That sounds incredibly rewarding. Was that your goal all along, after school?" _Ah, he is still very much 'Makoto', always wanting to help people._ An easy smile spread Rei's lips. _It is truly wonderful to see him, again. I hadn't realized what an enormous hole I'd left in my life, not making time for my friends._ Making a mental note to thank Nagisa again for pushing him in the right direction, Rei returned his focus to the man across the table.

"Mm, sorta. I mean, I took the classes I would need, but the opportunity kinda came up through a series of 'happy accidents', I guess. But I love it!" Makoto speared himself a bit of tuna roll, Rei chuckling at his gleeful expression.

"That's amazing. I couldn't be more thrilled for you! How inspiring…" _Doing what he loves, huh._ Finally snagging a bite of his own, Rei nodded encouragingly across the table. "And everyone else? What have they all been getting up to, during my self-imposed exile?"

"Oh! Well, let's see. Haru's still doing graphic design, though he doesn't talk about it much. I mean, he doesn't talk about anything much." Giggling, Makoto went on. "He's gotten into building things, lately. He actually gave my wife and I a gorgeous dining room table for our anniversary this year; I bet the thing weighs like 500 pounds. We like to never got it in the house!"

"Oh my," Rei tittered, imagining Makoto and Haru trying to wrangle something that weighed more than the both of them combined.

"Right?? Even with Haru, Rin and myself, we couldn't do it. Ended up having to leave it in the front yard until Sousuke could get there, and the four of us together barely made it work."

Rei's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Yamazaki is in Tokyo?"

"OH MY GOD, yes, Rei, you will never believe this!!" Makoto began to laugh so hard tears sprang to his eyes. "He moved here… a couple years ago… for a job…" Makoto panted, trying to pull himself together. "Heeee… So I guess he knew someone, and they kinda got the job for him…" Rei watched him curiously, a slightly confused smile curling his lips as Makoto took a few shuddering breaths. "Whew, sorry about that. You will NOT believe what he is doing for a living! He's… He's a tour guide!"

Tilting his head, Rei frowned a bit, not understanding. "That hardly seems to be something worth laughing at. Being a tour guide is a perfectly resp- Wait. WAIT. YAMAZAKI is a tour guide??" Makoto dissolved into helpless giggles, Rei not far behind him. "No way… We are talking about the same Yamazaki that got lost on his own high school campus, multiple times?"

By that point, Makoto was dabbing at his eyes with his napkin, his breath wheezing from his teeth as he tried to quiet himself. "Yesssss, yes THAT Yamazaki…" he choked out, glancing up to see Rei muffling his own guffaws with his hands. "You should see the texts he sends Rin… He's constantly getting people lost and wandering them into the worst parts of town, and his English isn't great, so if it's off-script, he has trouble answering their questions. So he'll hit up Rin like 'how would you explain a love motel in English' or 'do they have a word for 'yakuza'..."

Shaking his head, Rei pulled off his glasses, snickering and wiping his hands across his eyes. "No… no way… That is probably the most entertaining thing I've heard this year."

"The best part is, people seem to LOVE him! I've scrolled through his reviews on Yelp, and he consistently gets 4 and 5 stars. Like, I saw one review that literally said 'I think this guy was lost the entire time' and still gave him 4 stars."

"I am somehow not surprised. Yamazaki has always had a certain… charisma. It's as if… He seems very mysterious, in a way, but then he laughs or smiles, and you can see his kindness in his eyes." Rei grinned, the gesture lighting up his entire face, and he realized the tension was gone from his neck and shoulders. _This is so nice. Why did I wait so long to do this? I feel like a completely different person._

"Makoto, I must thank you. I haven't felt this good in a very long time. For the last two months, I've basically had my lips glued to my boss's posterior, so it's delightful to feel like I can relax." Waving a hand at Makoto's sympathetic cringe, Rei lifted his bowl of miso halfway before pausing. "Well, please, go on. How is Rin-san?"

"Right! He's…" Makoto's lips pulled into a slight frown. "I think he's… okay? Haru sees more of him than I do; they run together most mornings. He's still working at that gym as a personal trainer."

Once it seemed clear Makoto wasn't going to explain further, Rei set his bowl down, leaning back in the booth. "Just okay? Is there something going on with his work?"

Makoto shook his head slightly. "I don't think that's it. Had you heard his mother is sick?"

Mouth falling open, Rei shot forward over the table, startling Makoto into nearly spilling his soup. "Oh my word! No! Is she… What is wrong?" 

While Rei silently cursed Nagisa for not passing the information along and cursed himself for falling off the face of the earth, Makoto winced, glancing out the window. "I don't know details, because Rin doesn't talk to me about it very much. Whatever it is, it makes her really weak, and she's struggling to do the things she used to. I think Rin and Gou are over there most nights, helping with dinner and keeping the house up. From what I've heard, it isn't life-threatening or anything, and they think she'll make a full recovery, but it's really hard on all of them."

"I can only imagine," Rei whispered, resolving to give Rin a call as soon as lunch was over. "Is there anything we can do?"

Glumly shrugging his shoulders, Makoto poked at bit at his sushi. "I don't know, Rei. We've all offered, but like… He's just so stubborn. He complains constantly to Haru about how stressed he is, but anytime Haru offers to help, he waves it off, like 'no, I got this', or something." A small, sad laugh left his lips. "It's Rin, you know? He'll push through, somehow. He always does."

"Well. I am certainly incredibly sorry to hear all of that." _Yes, I suppose Rin-san would be a bit stubborn about accepting help._ Thinking back, Rei recalled their interactions his first year of high school. _He tended to isolate himself when he was struggling. It would perhaps be best for me to reach out to him normally, rather than calling him and insisting on forcing my 'help' on him when it might not be welcome._ "I'll be hoping for the best for his mother's recovery. Ha, I suppose the conversation got a bit dark, didn't it? Let's see. What do YOU do in your spare time, these days?"

Grateful for the subject change, Makoto sat forward, tugging his phone from his pocket once more. "Oh, I should just show you! Haru somehow convinced me to take a painting class with him. I think I've been going with him for… maybe 5 or 6 weeks now? I'm TERRIBLE at it, but it is so much fun! And of course, Haru is fantastic… All the women in the class are just smitten with him." He giggled and handed his phone over. "It's pretty cute; Haru is completely oblivious, and all these ladies are constantly flirting and making eyes at him."

Nodding and laughing, Rei took a look at the pictures as he responded. "That sounds exactly like the Haru I remember! I think a person could get down on a knee and propose to him, and he'd look behind him to see who was actually being proposed to." Offering Makoto a teasing grin, Rei gave the phone back. "I must admit, it is pretty clear which paintings are yours and which are Haruka's."

"Right? Mine look like they were done by a 5-year old that got into his mother's makeup, or something." Makoto smiled brightly, not bothered in the least, and Rei found himself admiring Makoto's ability to just 'do', without worrying about whether or not it was 'perfect'. _I could use more of that mindset in my own life,_ Rei noted, and decided he'd do more thinking about it during tomorrow morning's run.

A comfortable silence fell and the two got busy eating, Rei occasionally sneaking glances at his friend while he drifted in his own thoughts. _When is the last time I shared a meal with someone? My word, has it been since Nagisa left? I forgot how cozy this can be. I definitely want more of this. I NEED more of this. I was beginning to feel like a robot that did nothing but sleep and work._ Rei rolled his shoulders, enjoying the absence of the usual knot at the base of his neck. _I feel downright cheerful! When was the last time I felt like this?_

"Hehe, check this out, Rei." Rei startled, the quiet having stretched out for so long the sudden voice seemed louder than it was. Makoto held up a piece of his sushi, giggling. "Doesn't it look like a little face with a moustache? Like, if you stuck little googly eyes right here…"

"Pbbfft," Rei spat, laughing and covering his mouth with his napkin. "I suppose it does. But… Googly eyes?"

"Yeah! Didn't you ever do that as a kid? Or maybe it was just me. I used to stick googly eyes on things all the time when I was young, to entertain myself or my little brother and sister. Mailboxes, trash cans, vending machines, weird rocks… The only time I really ever got in trouble for it was this one time I stuck them on the neighbor's cat. Like… on its… butt. Of course, I thought it was hilarious at the time, but obviously the adults didn't share that opinion."

"You put them on a living creature? And on its butt? Woooow… Haha, I suppose we all did ridiculous things when we were children. Heh, honestly, we probably all do ridiculous things as adults," Rei added, recalling his spider-pic.

Makoto suddenly sat up straight, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Speaking of growing up… I can't believe I almost forgot! I'm having a little birthday get-together, just a low-key dinner for the boys. I'd love it if you came! I think even Nagisa is going to fly in, though he mentioned something about having to play it by ear."

"Oh! That would be… mid November?"

"Right, a couple months from now. I'll let you know when I have more of the details worked out." Beaming, Makoto finished off his food, Rei feeling a sudden warmth flooding through his body. _That's right. It isn't just today. I have a chance to be an ongoing part of my friends' lives, again._ Suppressing a giddy chuckle, Rei returned Makoto's grin. _I think life is about to get much more interesting, for me._

 

*

 

"I know… And I'm really sorry. I just… I didn't want to give you anything else to worry about." Gou turned, dish and towel in hand, giving her brother a guilty smile.

A quiet laugh made its way from Rin's chest, a tiny, self-deprecating sound she was wholly unused to hearing from him, and she watched him carefully as he dropped the lid to the skillet. "You know… this has been a week full of the universe slapping me in the face with the knowledge that everyone I know feels like I need to be handled with kid gloves." Placing his hands on either side of the stove, he leaned over, keeping his back to her, and she felt her breath catch when a sound that could have been either a cry or a laugh drifted across the room.

"Rin?" She took a hesitant step towards him, but stopped when he turned to her, a tired smile on his face. "What do you… I don't think you're that fragile or anything. Or like, maybe it's just lately, but you've seemed kinda… volatile. Or something."

"Volatile. That's probably just about right, honestly." Flipping around, he lifted himself to the counter, perching with legs dangling, and smiled more brightly. "You should have heard Sousuke lay into me, last night. I think the word he used was 'bitchy', but he was saying the same thing you are."

Giggling, Gou returned her attention to the dishes. "Well, he doesn't beat around the bush. At least Sousuke isn't treating you like you are one accidental tap away from shattering."

"Actually…" Rin's breathy tone pulled her eyes back to him. "It was pretty awkward at first. He was… I don't know. Normally, he's just non-stop busting my chops about stuff, but when he showed up last night, he was downright NICE. It was creepy."

Gou sighed, exasperated, and popped the freshly dried plate into the cupboard. "He's not a 'Robot of Sarcasm' that lives only to make you miserable, Rin. He's been really worried about you."

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. I mean, he told me as much." Suddenly, Rin's gaze snapped to the back of Gou's head. "Wait, did you talk to him or something?"

Gou dropped her hands to the counter, taking a deep breath before she spoke. "Yes. And lose the attitude. He called me last week, to talk about you. YOU, okay? He wanted to know if I knew what was going on with you, and if there was anything he could do to help. That's all." She finally looked up at him, a mischievous grin on her face. "I'm 29 years old, bro. I don't need a guard dog."

Cackling, he shot off the counter, grabbing her and ruffling her hair until she begged him to stop, tears of laughter in her eyes. "God, you're such a JERK!" she screeched, giggling and trying to tame the rat's nest he'd made.

"I will always be your guard dog. And a jerk," he announced proudly, doing a quick check on the food. "But… Yeah, I mean, once I told him to drop the 'sweet angel' act, we actually had a pretty good talk. He may be an ass, but he does give decent advice every once in a while."

"Oh? Like what?" Gou kept her face turned away, hiding the little smile turning her lips.

"He told me to stop refusing people's help, when they offer it. Which seems really obvious when I say it out loud like that, but… I mean, I'm self-aware enough to know I can be really stubborn about that sort of thing. I think he's going to stop by this weekend and take a look at the water heater for Mom. Which is awesome, because me and plumbing of any sort do NOT get along."

Having done what she could of the dishes until dinner was finished, Gou padded to the kitchen table, flopping into the chair. "That's actually a huge relief. I was worried you were going to give in and try it yourself, and then we'd be calling a repairman to fix a much larger problem than we had before." She shot him a wicked smile, eyes sparkling as she absentmindedly twirled a bit of hair around her finger. "So what else?"

Rin stirred around aimlessly in the fried rice, thinking. "Let's see. He said that if I'm not happy with the way things are, that I have to change them myself. Basically told me to get off my ass and do something, instead of just kinda… waiting for things to happen to me. It really wasn't anything I hadn't heard before; I mean Mom pretty much told me the same thing the other day. I guess it's just finally sinking in to me that if every single person in my life is worried about me, maybe I really do need to do something about it." A bark of laughter erupted from his chest. "Even that guy Jason at work mentioned it, today. Like, I didn't think he ever noticed anything except computers and anime."

Tittering happily, Gou dropped her chin to her hand. "He's the ex-pat, right? I was telling Mom the other day about that story you told me. The one where he built you a figurine and you panicked because you didn't know what it was, but didn't want to hurt his feelings…" Gou laughed and pressed her hand over her eyes. "I can just see it… oh my god, you all 'Wow, tell me all about this' like you would to a 4 year old who just brought you their drawing and you can't tell what it's even supposed to be..."

Rin was chuckling too, remembering his embarrassed dismay. "Well, what else was I supposed to do? It was obviously a ton of work. I didn't want to be like 'I'm sorry, but what in the actual hell is that?'. And it does look pretty good on my desk." Snapping off the burner, he swung out his hand, directing her to grab the plates. "I think we're ready, here."

Quickly stepping across the room, Gou pulled her brother in for a hug, earning herself a surprised grunt before he squeezed her back. "I'm really happy, Rin. That you are finally going to try to take better care of yourself."

He nestled his chin on top of her head, letting out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Gou. I never meant to make you worry. I'll do the best I can, okay?" Pausing for a moment, he pushed her back a bit, giving her a determined glare. "And I swear to god if I find out you are letting that beast Sousuke anywhere near you, I will murder him myself, good advice or not."

Chortling gleefully, she stood on her toes to push a quick kiss to his cheek before grabbing their plates. "Right, right. I'll be sure to alert you AT ONCE the moment he so much as dares to glance in my direction."

"You'd better. He might escape with his life if he hasn't done anything but look."

"Quit growling about my fictional love life and help me plate this food, dork." The two readied their dinners, giggling and elbowing each other, and set off for their mother's bedroom, each happy to have at least one less thing to worry about, for now.

 

*

 

Rin: So we held an impromptu viewing party of your Yelp reviews this evening

Sousuke: Don't start

Rin: We selected our favorites

Sousuke: Just don't

Rin: Gou's pick was "the tour guide had a nice butt and i think he enjoyed the cat cafe more than we did" (4 stars)

Sousuke: I hate you.

Rin: Mom's fave was "Tour was magnificent; Tokyo is truly a beautiful city. Our guide was knowledgeable and kind, even carrying my daughter piggyback when she got tired of walking." (5 stars) You somehow have my mother convinced you are some sort of descended angel, put here on earth to rescue kittens and look pretty.

Sousuke: I've always preferred your mother to you. Please die.

Rin: Mine was "we are currently lost and our tour guide is asking for directions I'M DYING this is a blast" (4 stars)

Sousuke: Are you done?

Rin: I could go on

Sousuke: You could also get bent

Sousuke: Leave me alone; I'm watching my stories

Rin: That buddy-cop drama shit you like?

Sousuke: They are my stories. I can like whatever I want, and shouldn't have to be subjected to bullying from a man that cries at dog food commercials.

Rin: IT HAPPENED ONCE! God, you are never going to let it drop, are you

Sousuke: Your mother is only partially right; I have descended to this earth to rescue kittens, be dashingly handsome, and make you regret every stupid thing you've ever done for the rest of your natural life.

Rin: I have no idea why I'm friends with you. O-ho, this was a good one. "Pretty sure our planned tour didn't include huddling under an overpass with what I'm fairly certain were gang members while a freak storm blew through. But I learned more about Tokyo than I ever thought I would." (4 stars)

Rin: Seriously, you have like… 7 reviews on the entire site that are less than 4 stars. How do you DO it? I'm completely baffled.

Sousuke: Ask your mom (and sister). I am criminally charming.

Rin: Do not even mention my sister or I will kill you with my mind, right now.

Sousuke: Whatever. It's story-time. Find someone else to annoy.

Rin: K. :) Have a good night.

Sousuke: You too.

 

Dropping his phone to the table, Rin wriggled around until he had sunk himself as far as he could go into the sofa cushions. A sense of relief washed over him, recalling his conversation with Gou. He hadn't been sure how it was going to go, confronting her about her promotion, but he felt it went surprisingly well, considering. _Honestly, it was just really nice to talk to her about things other than… well, Mom. When did we stop doing that? I guess we've both just been really focused on making sure Mom has what she needs, and kinda… Let everything else go._

Eyes pulled to his laptop, sitting quiet and dark in front of him, his thoughts drifted to his dinner with Sousuke the night before. _'Do something about it' is all fine and dandy until you have to come up with what, exactly, to DO. What do you 'do' to fix general existential dread?_ He had asked Sousuke as much, and Rin had found his reply to be less than helpful, though he supposed now that he thought about it a bit more, it did have a ring of truth to it. _'If you don't know what to do, just start… trying stuff until you find something that works, you know? Find a new hobby. Start doing yoga. Volunteer somewhere. Get laid. Redecorate your living room. Go on a quest to find the best katsudon in all of Tokyo. Hell I don't know, Rin. But doing nothing isn't working, so change it up.'_

Slowly exhaling, Rin sat up and scootched his laptop over. He paused, finger hovering over the touchpad, then closed his eyes and swiped, lighting up the screen. One person had given him definitive, concrete advice over the past week, and while it was painfully difficult to admit it even to himself, he had actually been thinking about it. Peeling up a single eyelid, Rin took in the 20 or so tabs open in an 'incognito' browser and felt a light blush rise to his cheeks. _I can't believe I'm doing this… She wasn't wrong, though. There are so many people talking about the connections between 'runner's high' and the headspace people get in during BDSM scen-_

Rin startled so harshly he lifted from the couch at the tiny sound of his refrigerator kicking on. Feeling a nervous giggle bubble up from his chest, he slapped his hands over his now blazing face. _Little jumpy, eh there, Matsuoka? Sheesh. It's not like I'm doing anything BAD._ He did his best to remind himself he was clearly NOT the first nor only person to have an interest in the topic, grabbing his phone to pull up his latest (embarrassing) conversation with Isuzu. She had sent him a message the day following her bombshell during training, and Rin, expecting it to be a 'normal' discussion, had been sucked in. Totally against his will. No curiosity whatsoever.

 

Isuzu: Hey there, big guy. Thinkin' about ya. Doing any better, today?

Rin: Oh hey. Thanks for reaching out. I'm fine. You?

Isuzu: Fabulous! So I was thinking more about our talk, yesterday. I think you could start out pretty simple, if you wanted to give it a try. While a lot of times BDSM involves sex, it doesn't have to. I've heard of doms/dommes that specifically avoid sexual contact. Might be an easy way for you to dip your toes, you know?

Rin: Dear god please stop talking about this

Isuzu: I'm serious, though. I know I'm kinda evangelizing about it, but it is the best stress relief I've ever ran across in my LIFE. And boy, you wound soooo tight

Rin: Oh my god, this is… I just feel like I shouldn't be talking about this with you. Not only are you a friend, but you are my friend's little sister. I do NOT want Seijuurou seeing these messages and materializing in front of me to pummel my foolish ass into dust.

Isuzu: HA! You don't have to worry about that. Sei knows all about my… proclivities. 

Rin: Okay that's just creepy.

Isuzu: Oh christ, I kinda made it sound like… NOOOOOOOO I just mean we talk about stuff like this. We all know pretty much everything about each other. Close family, I guess.

Rin: I guess so. *laughs* I think I would well and truly die if Gou ever said anything even remotely like this to me.

Rin: I ran across condoms in her apartment one time and couldn't look her in the eye for weeks

Isuzu: AWWWW HAHAHAHAH that's adorable. You need to loosen up, Onii-chan!

Rin: Naw, I'm pretty sure I'm good never ever ever thinking about my sister… doing things. Anyways. I'm glad you said hello, because I'd been meaning to ask you to PLEASE NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT THIS AT MY PLACE OF WORK AGAIN, okay? 

Isuzu: Oh! Sure, that's fine, I understand. So I dug around a bit, hit up a couple friends, and found something VERRRRY EXCITIIIING…

Rin: I'm not sure what sort of reaction you're expecting from me, but I basically want to die

Isuzu: Oh my god would you get off it. Annnyways… I'm going to email you a website, and the link to a profile I want you to check out. There's a dom in the Tokyo BDSM scene that is really, REALLY respected, like used to lead workshops and give presentations at our annual gatherings and stuff (though that was before I joined up). He's stepped back from the public scene and now only takes private clients, and he's really particular about it. But I guess one of his regular subs moved out of town, and he posted that he has availability for a new client.

Rin: And this is related to me how

Isuzu: RIN. You are such a butt. *giggles* Anyhow, he comes very highly recommended by several of the folks I know and trust. And he is strictly 'no sex'. So you could potentially get in with a dom that really knows his stuff, and you won't have to worry about things getting… heavier than you'd like. UNLESS YOU WANT THAT, which, by all means, go for it!

Rin: Please, Isuzu, I beg you. Can we stop talking about this?

Isuzu: Are you being serious?

Rin: I just… I promise I'll think about it, okay? So will you leave me alone?

Isuzu: YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT?? YOU PROMISE? *squeeeees*

Rin: Oh my god. Yes, I promise. Just… stop.

Isuzu: If you promise to do some serious thinking about it, I'll never bring it up again!

Rin: PINKY SWEAR. So drop it.

Isuzu: *salutes* Roger that.

Rin: Thank you. Have a good evening.

Isuzu: You too, friend.

Rin: Hey um. Wanna email me that website or whatever? I mean, just for research.

Isuzu: *very serious face* Why of course. For research. Sending now.

Rin: K. Got it. Thanks. Um. For everything.

Isuzu: *winks*

 

*

 

The afternoon was dragging. Rin's last client of the day, a sweet, older man that enjoyed telling Rin about his grandchildren while sedately pedaling on the stationary bike, had cancelled, and Rin was currently waiting out the end of the day at his desk. Briefly considering heading back out to the floor to get in some additional lat work, Rin realized the faint, familiar soreness in all of his muscles was telling him in no uncertain terms that his workout this morning had been plenty. _Okay, so that's out… God, I'm just BORED._ He had already asked at the front desk about walk-ins, had cleaned his office and Jason's to within an inch of his life, had reorganized the equipment closet, and was starting in on the break room cabinets when his boss found him and told him to stop.

Eyes wandering around the room, searching for any little thing he might be able to organize or tidy up, his gaze eventually landed on his phone. _Screw this._ He stood, grabbing his mobile, and headed for his favorite hiding spot. Almost no one ever used the old supply closet at the far end of the hall, and Rin tucked himself neatly inside before shutting the door. Amused smile lighting up his face, he began typing.

 

Rin: So I think I'm going to do it.

Isuzu: Do what, big guy?

Isuzu: OH. OH MY GOD. It's been a couple weeks and I hadn't heard anything else about it, so I figured you gave up.

Rin: Nope. *laughs* I'm gonna reach out to that dom your friends recommended. I did a ton of research, and I really liked what he had to say in his bio. Seems like a knowledgeable, friendly guy. I'm nervous and everything, but I'm actually getting really excited about it.

Isuzu: OH MY GOODNESS RIN I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

Rin: Heh. I'm like a little baby bird you had to nurture until it could survive on its own. Well, minus the regurgitation.

Isuzu: I have tears in my eyes right now, no lie. Rin, I really, REALLY hope it goes well. And I'm glad you didn't wait any longer; I don't know how long he'll have an opening.

Rin: I was actually starting to get a little nervous about that, too. I just… wasn't crazy about any of the other profiles, and I didn't want to let the opportunity slip by. I'm going to send him an email tonight.

Isuzu: You seem really confident about your decision. I'm glad. Going into it unsure is never a good idea.

Rin: I think it just took me some time to come to grips with the idea. Like I said, I'm genuinely excited. Hell, I won't ever know unless I try, right? Maybe I'll hate it, but at least I will have given it a shot.

Isuzu: You are absolutely right. I will have allllll my fingers and toes crossed for you

Rin: Sounds painful. Though you like that sort of thing… *laughs*

Isuzu: Oh my goodness. Haven't you gotten bold. *winks* So, have you told anyone else?

Rin: Oh HELL no. I can just imagine. "Hey Sousuke, so you'll never believe what I did last night" and Sousuke just… ceasing to breathe.

Isuzu: Meh. I've found in my own life that people, once they get over the initial shock, are usually really curious.

Rin: I think you are surrounded with a different sort of 'people' than me. I don't really plan to tell anyone.

Isuzu: It's totally your decision. I'll consider it an honor that I'm the only one that knows, and I will not say a word to anyone. <3 YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME, SIR

Rin: Hah. Thanks, Isuzu. Okay, I think it's about time for me to leave, so I need to get out of this supply closet and get my shiz together.

Isuzu: YOU ARE IN A SUPPLY CLOSET

Isuzu: YOU ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE EVER. What a dork. <3

Rin: I didn't want to be all 'hi gonna type all this kinky shit in front of god and everyone'. I think if my coworkers (one in particular) saw, I'd be forced to bury myself alive.

Isuzu: I get it. My coworkers don't know, either. Well, good luck tonight. If you are comfortable with it, let me know how it goes.

Rin: Thanks. I will. Have a good night.

Isuzu: You toos, Rin. :)

 

Cracking open the door, Rin peeked out, and when he saw the coast was clear, nonchalantly made his way back to his desk. He was really beginning to get excited, and could hardly keep his hands from shaking (okay, maybe he was pretty nervous, too) as he gathered up his jacket and bag. After some quick goodbyes to his fellow employees, he was off, making his way eagerly home.

 

*

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Hello! I saw your posting about potentially having availability for a new sub. I am completely new to the scene, no prior experience at all, so I don't know if I'm what you're looking for, but I was really impressed with your profile and figured it was worth a shot. You were very highly recommended to me by others, and I guess that makes me feel a bit more comfortable with the whole thing.

I don't really know how to do this, or what to say or whatever, so if there's anything you need to know, just let me know.

I hope to hear from you. Thank you.  
Swimbaka

 

Rin had spent the last 10 minutes reading and rereading his message, hovering over the 'send' button before losing his nerve and taking a bathroom break/getting a glass of juice/any number of other assorted completely unnecessary things that allowed him to continue to procrastinate. _Oh my GOD, this is AGONY, just HIT THE DAMNED BUTTON, MATSUOKA!_ His shaking hands finally made the decision for him, a nervous tap firing off the message accidentally, and Rin let out a terrified squeak before slumping back to the couch, his heart racing.

 _Ohmigod, I did it, I finally did it!_ He suddenly felt extremely calm, a strange relief flooding through him, and Rin found himself laughing uproariously- at himself and the situation and his nervousness and his happiness that he'd finally taken the first step. Having told himself it could be days before he got a reply, he quickly stood, making his way to the entertainment center to paw through his blu-rays. _Time for some distraction,_ he decided, grabbing one at random and setting it up.

Plopping back down on the sofa, legs tucked up beneath him, he snagged the popcorn he'd made earlier and let himself get lost in the film, munching absentmindedly on his snack as some sort of street brawl unfolded on the screen before him. When the 'ding' from his laptop rang out about 30 minutes later, he nearly choked on his mouthful, spluttering fluffy bits down the front of his shirt as he stared at his email. _Oh shi… That was really fast. I wonder if he's already found someone and he's just letting me know he's no longer available._

Rin's nervousness was back in full force, and his hand shook as he paused the movie, easing himself over to perch, quivering, on the edge of the couch. _Okay, here goes nothing._

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Good evening, Swimbaka!

It takes immense courage to reach out as you have for the very first time; I am honored you chose to do so to me. I also appreciate your honesty; many attempt to hide their inexperience, and it makes for incredibly difficult interactions down the line.

I do not have preferences for subs with regards to level of experience. Whether they are brand new or have been in the scene for decades, the conversations a dom and sub must have prior to any sort of engagement are the same. I also do not have gender preferences for subs. I saw no indication of gender in your email, so I thought I'd mention that. 

Though I made it clear in my bio, I'd like to reiterate it to avoid misunderstandings. I strictly forbid sexual contact in all of my play. I assume that is clear to you, and is what you are desiring. If not, I thank you for your time and interest, and it would be best for both of us to look elsewhere for play partners.

I hope you will take the time to review the attachments I've included with this email:  
The first is some general information about the scene, etiquette, what should be expected of a good dom and a good sub, terminology, etc. I like to provide this to anyone as new as you have said you are.  
The second is a [very] abbreviated overview of my experience and the tools/toys/restraints you could expect to see if we scene together.  
The third is a contract, and I wish for you to read it thoroughly. Please pay special attention to the portion I expect you to fill out, as it will outline for me the sorts of play you want to try, things you MIGHT want to try, and things you absolutely do not want to do. You will also see my lists of the same.

I feel these documents are excellent resources in general for those just getting into the scene, and I hope they are helpful to you.

I tend to believe face-to-face meetings are the best way to establish whether we have the chemistry required to be a successful D/s pair. This meeting would take place in public, for the sake of safety (both yours, and my own). Having said that, I'm certainly happy to answer basic questions via email, if you have them.

Thank you for your interest,  
Tokyodomrr186

 

_Wow… This is kinda… information overload. And he kept things really formal, too. Of course, I say that, but it would be a little off-putting to get a response from someone who is supposed to be a dom and have it be full of weird spelling errors and like… emoji, or something._

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Thank you for your thorough (and very educational) reply.

I am a 30-year old male (sorry, I probably should have said that before), and I am definitely NOT looking for sexual contact. I do have a question kind of related to that, though. This sort of thing is often arousing for both the dom and the sub, right? I guess I'm just wondering if I would get kicked out or something if I became… aroused.

I'm looking over the documents you sent now, and I'll let you know if I have any questions about them.

Would you like to try to set up a meeting, then?

Thank you for getting back with me so quickly.  
Swimbaka

 

Rin clicked on the first attachment, interested to see if the things he'd been sent were any different than what he'd determined from his own research. He'd only made his way through about a third of it when his laptop alerted him to a reply.

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Hello, Swimbaka!

That is an excellent question. Yes, D/s is often arousing for those involved. You would never be 'kicked out' for becoming aroused. Sexual response is very natural in scenes, both for me and my subs. The difference between myself and many other doms is that I chose to focus on the other aspects of D/s, rather than incorporating sexual response and stimulation in my play.

If any part of that was unclear, I would be happy to elaborate.

I would be available for a meetup Thursday evening, anytime after 7pm. There is a restaurant on the west side of Tokyo that I have found to be perfect for these sorts of things; the tables are spaced far enough away from each other to allow for private conversation, but the layout is very open, preventing any potentially unsafe isolation. Please let me know if that works with your schedule.

Thank you again for your interest, and I look forward to meeting you.  
Tokyodomrr186

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
That was perfectly clear; thank you for explaining.

Thursday evening at 7:30, then?

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Hello, Swimbaka!

Thursday evening at 7:30 works for me, as well. I have included the restaurant details, as well as directions to it, below.

I will be wearing a khaki and black plaid tweed blazer. A bit garish, perhaps, but it will ensure you find ME in the restaurant, rather than accidentally approaching one of many other potential diners wearing something a little less... unusual.

Looking forward to our meeting,  
Tokyodomrr186

P.S. I will have a copy of the contract with me, but if you would like, you are more than welcome to fill out and bring a completed copy with you.

 

_Huh. That almost seems too easy. I don't know what I was expecting, but I guess I figured he'd have a lot more questions for me. Not that I'm complaining… And he comes off as really easy to talk to. Something about him feels familiar, or comforting maybe. I'd imagine that's a really good thing._

Glancing to his phone, he decided maybe running his thoughts by Isuzu wouldn't be a bad idea. _She'll know if any of this seems weird, right?_

 

Rin: Hey. So like… I think it went really well? Can it go TOO well?

Isuzu: Too well? What do you mean?

Rin: It was just really easy and he didn't ask a lot of questions and he gave me a bunch of info and just like… said it would be best to talk everything over in person. So we're meeting Thursday night. Is that too soon? Like… it feels really fast?

Isuzu: Oh! No, that isn't weird or fast, at all. Good doms will want to meet you in person, because you can have all the chemistry in the world via faceless email or whatever, and then despise each other in person. He's saving you both the trouble of wasting time.

Isuzu: But that sounds REALLY AWESOME!! I'm so glad it went well! Did you learn anything else about him?

Rin: I don't know? I mean, I learned that he doesn't care whether his subs are male or female or whatever, and that he's really serious about the whole 'no sex' thing (which is great), and… I guess that he writes really formal emails?

Isuzu: Haha, okay. Well that all seems alright. He's around your age, right?

Rin: Profile says 29

Isuzu: Okay, well that's good. At least you'll have that in common. Did he send you a contract?

Rin: He did. Wow, it's pretty intimidating. I'm looking at it now.

Isuzu: No, that's really, really good. The more thorough the contract, the safer things are for both of you. I'd recommend filling it out beforehand; he'll probably want to go over it with you, bit by bit, when you meet.

Rin: Ah, okay. Will do. Isuzu… I'm getting really fucking nervous again.

Isuzu: It's going to be okay. You can still back out at any time. You haven't chained yourself to anything. Spend the next day or so getting used to the idea, and you will be fine. *sending you supportive brain waves*

Rin: Ha, what is a supportive brain wave? But thanks. I'm sure I'll settle down. I guess I just feel like it all happened in the blink of an eye, and I'm still sitting here like 'what the hell just went down?' Okay... Thanks for talking me through it. I'm gonna go. Good night!

Isuzu: No problem. Good night, friend. :)

 

Rin was totally wired; he shot a glance to the clock, seeing he still had some time before he wanted to be in bed, so he plowed headfirst through the documents the dom had sent, eventually beginning to highlight portions, typing questions off to the side of anything he didn't understand. Two hours later he looked up, eyes glazed, and decided he was done for the night, saving his changes and pulling up his email.

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
I have read over the documents you sent, and have re-attached them to this email. I have some comments and questions, which I've highlighted… I hope this isn't obnoxious or anything. If you'd just take a look, we can talk about it Thursday.

Hope you have a good night.  
Swimbaka

 

Flopping back onto the sofa, Rin shook his head, chuckling a bit as he stretched his arms up in the air over his face, wiggling his fingers. _I don't think I've done that much typing since college,_ he giggled to himself. _The guy is probably going to freak out when he wakes up in the morning to THAT. Maybe I went a bit overboard. I could have just waited and asked him in person; maybe it would have seemed a little less weird that w-_

Rin's mouth fell open when he heard yet another 'ding' from his computer.

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
THIS IS DELIGHTFUL! Never, in my 8+ years of domming, have I seen someone so curious and thorough about this!

I will have answers for all of your questions ready for you Thursday. I cannot thank you enough for taking these things as seriously as I do. I am truly excited to make your acquaintance.

Thank you so much!  
Tokyodomrr186

 

Staring in stunned silence at the screen, Rin read it again, having difficulty believing what he was seeing. This guy sounded genuinely THRILLED about all the insane mark ups and incoherent thoughts Rin had splattered everywhere! _Delightful? All-caps? Exclamation points? 'Truly excited'? Maybe this guy is just a total nerd, and gets off on this kind of thing. I mean, so do I, honestly. Huh. This is… a bit unexpected. Well, it makes him seem all the more likeable, honestly. I bet we'll get along just fine._

Rin had to admit the eager response had lessened his nervousness considerably. Feeling more relaxed than he had in a good while, he headed for bed, falling into a deep sleep nearly as soon as his head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Rei get quite the surprise.

Rin glanced for probably the twentieth time at his phone, pacing restlessly back and forth in front of a well-lit coffee shop. He'd wanted to ensure he would be on time for this meeting, but his plan had backfired slightly when he arrived much too early, standing foolishly in front of the entrance to the restaurant, full of nervous energy. _I can't just stand here like a dork for 45 minutes; someone will probably think I look suspicious and call the cops or something._

His eyes had caught the cheery warmth of the cafe across the street, and, sighing with relief, he beelined for it. _Maybe a cup of tea, a little snack, see if I can calm my nerves a bit,_ he'd decided, and once his treats had been purchased, he'd dropped into a chair at the back of the shop, focused on steadying his breathing. _This is fine, I'm gonna be fine,_ he chanted silently to himself, tearing off tiny bits of his baguette. _It's perfectly natural that I'm nervous. Anyone would be. It would be weirder if I WASN'T nervous, right? Completely natural._

Rin hadn't managed any thoughts aside from his pitifully ineffective pep-talks when he'd realized, despite his best efforts at dragging it out, his baguette was gone, as was his tea, and he still had 20 minutes left to kill. Wincing, he'd let his gaze wander around the cafe, the normally comforting bustle of cheery waitstaff and chatting customers doing absolutely ZERO for his current state of mind. _I should have brought a book or something._ His eyes had fallen to the tri-folded paperwork he'd placed on the table near his elbow. _Isn't exactly like I can sit here and look THOSE over, with this place teeming with people. And why the hell didn't I think to bring a folder or something? God, if they get knocked off the table or…_ Cheeks flushing brightly, he had internally cursed his poor planning, raging within himself for several minutes before a slight clearing of someone's throat pulled him from his thoughts.

His eyes swung to the person sitting quietly at the table next to him, the man's own gaze locked on Rin's jittery leg, tap-tapping on the floor. Rin had immediately slammed his foot to the ground, hand pressing down on his thigh, but it was clear the damage was done, and Rin quickly got himself out of there, not wanting to draw any further attention to himself.

Which was how he now found himself stalking back and forth along the sidewalk outside like a parent waiting for an errant child after curfew, the minutes ticking by like molasses. _Maybe I should just leave,_ Rin began to think. _This whole thing was probably a bad idea. I just... got caught up in the idea of trying something new._ Gaze darting wildly about, he stared down a lamp post, a trash can, and was searching for another innocent victim to glare at when his attention eventually fell to a squirrel perched silently on a branch, eyeing him distrustfully. _UGH, I'm even making the animals nervous! I'm a disaster, right now. I have GOT to chill out._

He forced himself to hold still, taking several deep, slow breaths. Letting his eyes drift closed, he focused on the sensations of his chest rising and falling, and by the time he next felt the need to check his phone, he was feeling surprisingly good. _I really am excited about this,_ he admitted, sliding his mobile from his pocket. _Okay, 4 minutes 'til._ His resolve strengthened, he pulled up the last email he'd received from the man he was meeting, a few hours earlier.

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Good afternoon, Swimbaka!

I thought it wise to reiterate our plans for the evening; I will see you at the Saji Steakhouse at 7:30 pm. I will be wearing the blazer I've already mentioned, and I intend to arrive a bit early, so I can ensure I'm there when you come in. It is my plan, currently, to ask to be seated near the back corner of the restaurant, to give us as much privacy as possible.

I hope you will be so kind as to let me know whether this still works for you.

Looking forward to meeting you!  
Tokyodomrr186

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
I will be there! I'm looking forward to it, too.

Thanks so much,  
Swimbaka

 

 _Okay, this is it. Let's do this._ A slight smile turned the edge of his mouth, and Rin trotted with fresh confidence across the road, feet carrying him through the door and into the greeting area before he could give his nerves a chance to catch up. When the hostess inquired about seating, he quickly explained that he was meeting someone, and she waved him into the restaurant proper.

 _WOW. This place is… really nice._ Taking in the muted, tasteful decor, soft lighting from chandeliers hung sparkling overhead, Rin was suddenly very glad he'd already eaten dinner, mind briefly landing on his wallet. _And it is exactly like he described, too… you can see every single table from anywhere in the place, but they're so far apart!! Good grief, I wouldn't be surprised if the yakuza do business deals, here._ Snorting quietly at himself for his train of thought, he searched the tables until his eyes lit on a man at the far end of the room, reading and taking a sip of his water. _Ah, there we go, there's the blazer. You've got this, Matsuoka._

He strode with sure steps across the floor, letting an easy grin wash over his face as he approached the table. "Hello! You mu…" Rin's greeting died in his throat, time slowing to a crawl. _What in the name of GOD is going on, here? Have I made some sort of mistake? Is that…_ He could feel his mouth fall open but was completely powerless to stop it, absolutely gobsmacked as the man in the blazer turned his face to him. _Oh no… OH NO, please god no, this is not happening right now…_

Eyes blowing wide, Rei tilted his head, pausing for a moment before speaking. "Rin-san?" A confused frown tugged ever-so-briefly at his mouth before his expression blossomed into a beaming grin. "Oh my goodness, Rin-san! I can't believe I ran into you, here! I haven't seen you in-" Rei cut himself off, eyes darting to the restaurant entrance. _OH DEAR GOD! What are the chances? This literally could not be worse timing; I can't exactly sit here and small-talk with him right now!_ "What um, what brings you to this side of Tokyo?" Pasting on what he hoped would pass for an interested smile, Rei turned to him in the chair, thoughts rocketing around his head as he considered his options.

Blinking slowly, Rin realized his capacity for speech was utterly gone. _Matsuoka, THINK. You need to… You can still salvage this. Just say something normal… and then… you can… Oh my god, my brain isn't working. I've gotta get out of here…_ His cheeks bursting into flames, Rin commanded his legs to move but found, to his horror, he was frozen to the spot. _Nooooo, please god, why??_

A bit lost in his ruminating, it gradually occurred to Rei that Rin wasn't responding, and his eyebrows furrowed. "Rin-san? Is everything alright? Are you... ill? Your face looks terribly flushed." He began to feel distinctly alarmed as Rin made no move to speak. "Um… Rin-san? Would you... like some of my water, or...?"

Rin's executive functioning had lurched to a complete standstill. _Why is… Is this… Did I not… How can… He's speaking. He's speaking but I can't hear him. What is he saying?_ Closing his eyes, Rin did his best to focus on Rei's words. _What is he talking about? His water? Why is he talking about his water?_

Rin had Rei's full attention at this point, Rei convinced he was having some sort of medical emergency, and he quickly stood, grabbing Rin's arm. "Rin-san. Please speak to me. Are you-" The papers Rin had in his hand fluttered to the ground, and when Rei's eyes landed on them, his breath seized in his throat, things slowly slotting into place. _What in the world are… OH HOLY EVERLOVING CHRIST. Are those… They are. They actually are._ His stomach plummeted, and Rei faintly registered feeling a bit nauseous. _Oh god, I don't know what to do..._ "No way…" he finally whispered, expression pure, unadulterated astonishment, before his gaze slowly raised to Rin's.

There was the briefest pause, then Rei snagged up the documents and refolded them, dropping them to the table and turning back to Rin. "Rin-san. Sit down." A brisk movement of his hand to the chair and Rin did what he was told, still gawking in disbelief as Rei reseated himself. "I am truly concerned for your well being. Are you going to be okay? This is…" Trailing off, Rei could feel the heat rising in his own cheeks. _I cannot believe this. I simply cannot believe this. There is no way, out of all the human beings in Tokyo, HE is the one I've been…_ With incontrovertible evidence staring him, horrified, in the face, Rei could do nothing but admit the situation had just devolved into THE most awkward encounter of his life. _Well, there's nothing else for it. We are going to have to address this eventually. We might as well bite the bullet and do it now; agree to do our best to bleach this memory from our minds, and hope we can fight through the mortification until we can be around each other normally, again._ "Listen, why don't we-"

"Rei?" Rei's mouth snapped shut at Rin's first word since his aborted greeting. "It's… Why are you… What is this?" Voice barely more than a whisper, Rin's expression was almost pleading, as if he was asking Rei to indicate to him that a camera and TV show audience were lurking just in the wings, and this had actually been nothing more than the most complicated and privacy-invading practical joke ever.

Wincing, Rei straightened his posture, a tiny grunt of embarrassment escaping his lips. "I can assure you, I am just as surprised as you are. This is… entirely unexpected."

Rin's eyes fell to the folded papers. "It is entirely unexpected," he parroted back, breathily. _It is, but it kinda isn't, now that I really think about it. Those emails… Oh my GOD no wonder they felt so familiar. This has to be the most ridiculous shit I've ever gotten myself into. I just would have never guessed… Rei, of all people!_ Rei's eyebrows shot to his hairline as Rin began to laugh, the tiny sounds soon swelling into a tempest of breathless guffaws, tears streaking down his face.

"Rin… san?" Watching with growing confusion while Rin continued his hysterics, Rei was at a loss for words, unsure of how to react. _I need to do something, here. This is getting out of hand. And I'm genuinely concerned for him… He's all over the place._ "Are you… Is everything okay?" Rei's eyes darted around the room, his teeth gritting when he saw other diners beginning to take notice.

Cackling maniacally at Rei's nervous question, Rin began to wave his hands. "It's… NO, Rei, everything is NOT okay," he managed to choke out between laughs, Rei flinching as if he'd just been slapped. "You… You just… I can't…" Finally managing to suck in an enormous, shuddering breath, Rin dug his fingernails into his palms, begging himself to calm down. "Heeee… I'm so sorry, I just… This is all pretty overwhelming," he eventually spluttered, his chuckles subsiding to manageable levels. "Holy shit! Isn't this just something." 

_Well, I guess we can't ever 'un-know' this about each other, can we? This has turned into a complete disaster. I was so excited…_ Rin let out a quiet sigh, fighting with his disappointment. _Seriously, to get this close and then… nothing. All that work, and stressing, and planning… This SUCKS. What the hell am I supposed to do, now?_ His lips pulled into a thin line, frustration flooding through him, and his mind tumbled through his (limited) options, face slowly hardening as he processed the situation. _You know what? Fuck it. Let's roll the dice, here._ "So uh…" Rin wiped at his eyes, then leveled his gaze at Rei. "So what now?"

Rei clenched his jaw to keep it from falling open. _What does he mean, 'what now'? I assumed this was the part of the evening where we both slunk back to our respective hiding spots, never to speak of this again._ Pausing to consider his response, Rei was interrupted by a waiter asking after their order. "If you'll pardon us, I believe we need a bit more time," Rei murmured, then pulled his attention back to Rin. "To be completely honest, I have no idea what you mean."

 _I bet he knows exactly what I mean. Huh. A bit timid, aren't you, for supposedly being a dom?_ "I see. What, you just wanna forget this whole thing ever happened?"

"I'm sorry?" _Literally what else IS there to do? Does he perhaps want me to recommend another dom?_ Rei was growing more confused by the second, and the small smile on Rin's face was not helping. "Is there some-"

"What is it, Rei? You won't scene with someone you know?" Rei couldn't stop his jaw from dropping this time, Rin giggling at his dumbstruck expression. "100% honesty? I think I've read through like, 50 different bios. And they all kinda sucked. Yours didn't." Though he could feel his cheeks reddening again, Rin plowed on. "And I've kinda spent the last couple weeks getting myself all psyched up for this, you know? I'm afraid if I have to start over, I just won't ever do it."

Taking a necessary moment to compose himself, Rei placed his elbows on the table, grasping his hands below his nose. _OH. OH MY GOD. THAT is what he meant. He still… He still wants to do this? Mercy, this could get rather complicated. And some of the things he'd like to do…_ Rei's eyes flicked to the papers on the table. _Good heavens. Surely, this is an atrocious idea._ "Is that right. Huh. I don't think you realize what all this would entail."

Rin gestured at the documents. "I'm pretty sure I know what I'm getting into, Rei."

"Perhaps you understand the specifics. But the encounters are likely to be much different, with someone you know." _He has no experience whatsoever with this sort of thing… I can't let him carelessly waltz into such an emotionally complex situation. Though knowing a bit about what he's currently facing in his personal life, I would be loath to urge him to find someone else. There are some unkind people in the world, and he has quite enough on his plate, already._ Removing his glasses, Rei rubbed at his eyes. _I've been trying to figure out some way to help him since I learned of his mother's illness… Perhaps I could…_ "I'm certainly not trying to dissuade you," Rei finally offered, replacing his glasses and shooting Rin a stern look. "Now that I've had a moment to consider it… I'm at least potentially willing to give it a shot. But it needs to be made clear that you'll be treated no differently, just because we know each other."

 _Ah, I think I understand, now. He wasn't being timid. He was being careful. Typical Rei. He worries too much._ "No 'special treatment', eh?" Rin chuckled, pointing his finger across the table. "No congratulatory hand jobs for a 'scene well done'?"

Rei's nostrils flared, eyes hardening as he dropped his hands to the table. "I am sure you find that to be hilarious, Rin-san. I've made things perfectly clear to you. No part of my body will ever come into contact with your genitals."

Choking slightly on his own spit, Rin cackled loudly before a wide grin settled on his face. "Genitals? Oh my god. But Rei, loosen up. I'm not trying to get in your pants. Or invite you into mine. I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit, you know?" He dropped his face to his hands. "Genitals… Jesus, Rei. That word has to be more embarrassing than any quote-unquote 'dirty' word you could dream up."

An eyebrow cocked, Rei thought quietly for a moment. "You might actually be right about that," he admitted eventually, and when Rin's eyes snapped to his over his fingers, each let out a small, embarrassed snicker. "I suppose, at this point, we are already privy to some… delicate information about one another." Rei's lips curled with a ghost of a smile. "I'm just trying to determine whether or not this is actually a terrible idea. I've been wanting to get in contact with you; I'm simply concerned this will make things difficult for us, as friends. Not to mention it would make things more complicated for you, emotionally."

"Riiight…" Rin sighed. "Despite the fact that I just spent our first 10 minutes together wishing the earth would swallow me whole, it's really good to see you, again."

Smiling warmly, Rei nodded. "It is wonderful to see you, as well." He dropped his chin to his hand, humming in thought. "Let's see… In the past, when I've known a sub outside of D/s, we handled it by keeping the lines between very crisp. When we are not in the dungeon, you are not my sub. And when we are, you are not my friend. I fear it will be a bit jarring, for you. I'd like you to take some time and really think about it, Rin-san. There is nothing about this that is worth losing a friend."

Rin tilted his head, expression surprised. "You've known subs outside of your uh… arrangement?"

"Most certainly. But that was several years ago."

"Huh. You ever date any of them?"

Rei's eyes locked on Rin's, his face bored. "I have no desire to discuss that with you. I fail to see how it is relevant in any way, but it is enough for you to know that I do not date subs at this time. Which is outlined clearly in the contract."

An ornery laugh made its way across the table, Rin's face split in a huge smile. "Yeah, yeah. I was just asking as a friend. I don't know anything about you anymore, Rei."

"As a friend, I would ask you to refrain from mentioning any of this," Rei tapped Rin's paperwork with a single finger, "...at all." Leaning forward, Rei's expression became one of concern. "Please, Rin-san. I'd like you to promise me you will do some very serious thinking about all of this. It's… Well, it isn't something easily undone, once the line is crossed." Out of the corner of his eye, Rei noticed the waiter hovering around, making sure to stay at an appropriate distance, but obviously antsy. Clicking his tongue quietly, Rei drug the menu across the table. "Allow me to get us an appetizer, and we can discuss this more thoroughly."

"Oh, don't worry about food, Rei. I've already-"

"It was not a suggestion." Rin's eyes grew wide, the look Rei was leveling him over the top of the menu making his breath catch. When he managed to nod, Rei went back to perusing the options, and Rin let out his held breath as quietly as possible.

 _Oh my GOD. What the hell was THAT? Am I getting in over my head, here? That was..._ Dropping his gaze to the table, Rin felt his fingers clench slightly into the fabric of his pants. He didn't look back up until the waiter approached, and even then, he didn't feel comfortable speaking. _Why do I feel like I'm not allowed to say anything, all of a sudden? That was kind of… incredible, actually. He shut me right up._ He turned to watch the waiter leave, the corner of his mouth twitching as he swiveled his head back to Rei. 

Rei reached out, sliding Rin's documents to himself and flipping them open. "Alright. So whether or not we decide to actually do this, there are several things I would like to go over with you. You seemed a bit confused regarding my attire; I wear normal 'street' clothing, whether that be a suit or jeans and a sweater. And I remain fully clothed at all times. Does that help clarify, at all?" Raising his eyes to Rin, he was surprised to find Rin beaming at him, eyes sparkling.

"That was pretty awesome, Rei. I'm fairly impressed. There aren't many people that can snap my trap shut with just a look."

Rei's face displayed his confusion, and he thought back over their conversation before replying. "What? I don't think… I'm not sure what you mean."

Rin's eyebrows raised, a surprised guffaw puffing his lips. "Oh my god! And you didn't even do it on purpose… Wow, Rei, I think I'm starting to see how you could be pretty good at this." Rei managed to look even more confused, and Rin chuckled, waving a dismissive hand in the air. "It's no big deal. Forget I said it. Let's get this discussion out of the way so we can do some honest-to-god 'catching up'. I wanna know just what it is you've been up to all these years, because clearly, there is… quite a bit I don't know about you."

"I… That's fine, Rin-san. Whatever you would like. Are you certain it isn't worth discussing?"

A pleased smile settled on Rin's face. _I think this is going to be really fun, after all. Dom Rei, huh? Who'd have thought it._ "I'm positive. Let's do this. Here, take a look at this. On page 4, I highlighted the part where…"

The two got down to business, and when they left the restaurant that night, they had quite a bit of new information to occupy their thoughts. Parting ways at the station, they waved and set off for their respective homes, both feeling surprisingly more cheerful than they had when the evening began.

 

*

 

Rin: I can't believe you. Do you get some sort of perverse pleasure from messing with me? Even for you, that was over the top.

Isuzu: Rin? What are you talking about? Did something happen with the meeting?

Rin: You knew, didn't you. And you let me walk into that completely blind.

Isuzu: RIN. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU TELL ME IMMEDIATELY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. If something bad happened, I want to know right now. Is everything okay? Are you safe?

Rin: That's quite the convincing act you're putting on! I'll mail you your academy award.

 

"Seriously, Isuzu…" Rin started in as soon as he answered the call. "I almost had a stroke when I saw him. Did you think it would be funny, or something?"

"RIN! I AM FUCKING PANICKING, HERE! I have no idea what it is you think I've done, but at least cut the crap and tell me whether you are okay!" Rin's eyebrows shot up at the urgency in her voice.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. I mean, it was awkward as hell at first, but I'm okay, now." An embarrassed titter bubbled up from Rin's diaphragm. "I genuinely thought my heart was going to stop when I saw his face."

There was a moment of silence, then Isuzu spoke, voice uncertain. "His… face? It was awkward? Um… Was he like, hideous or something? I'm so confused."

Rin snorted with laughter, dropping himself to the sofa to stretch out and get comfortable. "Hideous? Good grief, Isuzu. Obviously not. He's always been attractive. It was more the whole FANCY MEETING YOU, HERE aspect of it that got me."

He heard her sharp intake of breath over the line, and his mouth pulled into a puzzled frown as she replied. "Oh my god… Rin… You are telling me you… already knew him?"

"What? Isuzu, you had to have known that. Our schools had joint practices in high school, and we became friends that way."

"Um." There was a rustling sound, and when Isuzu responded, it sounded muffled. "Rin. This is just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. You swam with him in high school?"

Flopping his leg over the arm of the couch, Rin offered her an exasperated sigh. "You're still messing with me, aren't you. He gave me his spot in the relay at that tournament; everyone in our region saw-" He abruptly cut off, a sudden realization dawning. _Wait, if she really didn't know… Oh… oh SHIT, I just blew his cover! Oh no. Oh no..._ "Um, Isuzu? Are you telling me you've never met this dom?"

The silence stretched out for so long, Rin pulled his phone from his ear to see if the call had dropped. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, she interrupted. "No, I've never met him. I specifically told you he was already out of the public play scene when I joined. Wow, Rin... You just outed him bigger than hell, didn't you. You are lucky you are talking to someone who knows how to keep a secret." Another, shorter silence held, Rin's face contorting into a guilty grimace. 

"Suddenly this whole conversation makes a lot more sense, though. I had no idea what it was you were accusing me of doing to you, but I'll admit if it had been me, I'd have reacted the same way. And honestly… That is quite the stunning revelation, isn't it? Wow..." Before Rin could let loose his guilty, self-hating commentary, she dissolved into giggles. "Oh my GOD, I bet you were completely mortified! I wish I could have seen your face!" Breaths hitching, she took a couple moments to compose herself. "So? How did you escape? Were you able to high-tail it out of there before he saw you, or did you play it off somehow?"

Like magic, Rin's remorse transformed into humiliation, his cheeks flashing red. "W-what? I didn't… Isuzu, I was so shocked my LEGS wouldn't even move! What the hell was I supposed to do?" As Rin wished for the sweet kiss of death for probably the tenth time that night, Isuzu lost it, her elated cackling making him distinctly sorry he'd answered the phone, that he'd ever gotten involved in this, that he was ever born.

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T BREATHE! Rin! Rin, you are such a complete dork and I just love it so much… Ooooh, I would give my firstborn child to have been able to see this play out! So? What happened?"

"You're making fun of me! Why would I tell you anything? God, Isuzu, this is so embarrassing! I'm hanging up." Rin was fairly sure he could spark a gas fire with the heat in his face, and his lips seemed permanently pulled back from his teeth in a horrified grimace.

"No! No, don't hang up. I'll stop, I swear… Well um… Do you want me to ask around a bit? See if we can find you another dom?"

A resigned sigh escaping his lips, Rin dropped a hand to his forehead. "No, you don't need to do that."

"I don't mind at all! I'm happy to help in any way I can. This whole mess was kinda inadvertently my fault, anyways. I think I owe it to you to help."

"No. I mean you don't need to do that." Gritting his teeth, he shrugged slightly, figuring with what she already knew, it wouldn't really make much difference if she knew the whole thing. "We… worked it out."

"Oh! He was able to help you find someone else? That's really cool. I always got the impression he was a super nice guy."

"For Christ's sake, Isuzu." He let out a long, slow breath. "I'm saying we worked it out. Like, we're going to do it."

By now, Rin was expecting the interminable silence, and he absentmindedly inspected his fingernails while he waited. _Here it comes. She's going to tell me I'm absolutely crazy. And maybe I am. The whole thing still feels a bit insane._

"Um…" she finally murmured. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Rin? I mean, I trust you to make the right decision for you, it's just…"

"I know, I know. I'm not sure of anything, right now. Honestly, he made it pretty clear HE thinks it is problematic. I bet he probably told me 10 different times to 'really, seriously think' about it. And I will, of course. But like… I guess a part of me is thinking it would be difficult to find someone more trustworthy than him. You said it yourself; he's a great guy. Maybe I'm just thinking I'd be in good hands, or something."

He could hear her sigh over the phone. "I see… Well, I mean, you were the one there. You are the only one that can make the decision." A soft crackling sound came over the line, and when Isuzu next spoke, he could tell she was eating something. His lips pulled into a soft smile. "So, I assume you guys went over your contract and what to expect. How did that go? I mean, do you feel like you guys have good chemistry?"

"Hehe, yeah, it went fine. I mean, we've been friends for a while, so once I got over the embarrassment, it was very simple and matter-of-fact. And he was all business, you know? So it made it a little easier. First conversation like that I've ever had in my life, that's for sure. Just casually discussing being whipped and restrained, munching on an appetizer in a fancy restaurant…" He couldn't help giggling, and Isuzu joined in, her tinkling laughter suddenly making him feel much better about the whole phone call.

"So he was cool about it? I guess I'm not surprised… Like I said, he's really well-respected in the scene. I will admit I'm having trouble pasting what I know about the dom on top of what I know about the man, though. I would have never in a million years… Well, I guess everyone has secrets. It's not like I knew him that well."

Another happy giggle forced its way from Rin's lips. "I know, right? Even after I'd gotten over the shock of 'oh my god I've been emailing with Rei this whole time', it still took me like forever to process 'Rei is a dom'. But like…" He trailed off, considering his next words. "The more I talked with him, and the more I thought about it, it just… kinda made sense? I don't know." Snickering, Rin felt his cheeks flush. "There were a few times during the evening where he'd just give me a look or a gesture and… Like, I couldn't speak, for a while. It was kinda intense."

"Ooooh, is that right?! He sounds really fun!" Isuzu gushed, the crackling sound intensifying for a moment, and Rin chuckled, imagining her upending a bag of chip crumbs into her mouth. "So like," she mumbled around her food, "How are you guys handling the whole 'friendship vs. D/s' thing? He doesn't do full-time D/s arrangements, right?"

"Right." Suddenly feeling a bit hungry himself, Rin made his way to the kitchen, sock feet padding softly on the tile. "The way he described it, they'll just be… completely separate things. Like, we're friends unless we're scening, and if we are, we are no longer friends. Just dom and sub. OH! That reminds me. I wanted to ask you about something. Do you have like… names you use, when you do stuff like this? He told me to pick something out for him to call me when we're in the dungeon, to help kinda delineate between 'high school buddies' and 'play partners'. He gave me a suggestion, but I wondered what you normally do."

Isuzu hummed thoughtfully while she finished chewing. "It's different for every dom. I'm actually surprised he's letting you decide. Hmm. I've been called all sorts of shit, in a dungeon. Anything from 'slave' or 'peasant' to absolutely filthy stuff. What did he suggest?"

"Well…" Rin swallowed around a lump in his throat, embarrassment returning in full force. "He suggested um... p-pet. Like, his pet. He said the word 'slave' squicks him out and he won't use it, but that if I wanted to come up with something else, I could."

Rin's eyes flew wide at Isuzu's abrupt squealing. "PET?! Oh my god, I LOVE it! How hilariously sweet is that?? Is this guy just a complete softie? Seriously, he seems like such a contradiction in terms! Oh my god…" Blinking mutely, Rin couldn't even form a reply. "Wow, okay… So what does he want you to call him? This is fascinating!"

"Uh…" Rin was admittedly confused, and he thought back over his research. "I mean, 'pet' isn't that weird, right? I've read about it before. Not that I really know anything. But um, he said I could choose between 'Master' and 'Sir'. Which all sounds pretty par for the course, right? You're kinda making me nervous."

"NO! I mean, yes, that is all par for the course. Except, as I mentioned, I've never run across a dom that let me decide. I just… I guess, based on everything I knew about him, I was picturing this super-serious hard-ass son of a bitch, a real 'take no prisoners' sort of dude, and to find out he calls his subs 'pets'... It's kinda… tender, in a way, don't you think?"

"Aren't you reading into it a bit too much? I mean, a pet still has an owner. And he made it pretty clear he takes his role as dom very seriously. Like, I don't think we're gonna be sitting around giggling and sharing an ice cream cone or anything, Isuzu." Snagging an apple from the fridge, he wandered back out to the sofa, plopping down and pulling his legs up while he took a bite.

"Aww, it would be awfully cute if you did, though. Huh." Her voice grew thoughtful. "I wonder if he's gay?"

Rin rolled his eyes, chewing as he replied. "Settle down, fujoshi. He doesn't date subs. And it's REI, for Christ's sake. I don't date friends. This is strictly business, you dork."

A tolerant smile stretched his face as she giggled. "Okay, okay, fine. I just thought you two would make a handsome pair. Anyways, it's really late. I'm gonna let you go, okay? I'm glad things ended up alright tonight, even if the beginning was a bit… harrowing."

"Yeah…" Rin breathed, feeling his shoulders relax. "It really went well. I mean, all things considered. Thanks for talking me through it, Isuzu. You've really been amazing, you know."

"Awww, Rin, I just wanna pinch your cheeks! You are so welcome, of course! Don't hesitate to get a hold of me if you need anything else, okay? Have a good night!"

"Kay, you too. Bye."

 

*

 

 _Just… about… there. Okay._ Rei leaned back slightly, grabbing a rubber band, and gently snapped it in place to hold the tiny plastic pieces together while the glue set. A heavy sigh escaped, sending the pieces skittering lightly across the desk, and Rei cringed, snagging them before they could roll to the floor. _I'm struggling to concentrate on this, tonight. Perhaps I should entertain myself in some other way, before I make a mistake I cannot fix._ He'd been distracted all evening, nearly burning his dinner while he stood at the stove absentmindedly, his thoughts drawn of their own volition to his surprising run-in with Rin the night before.

Shooting a glance to the clock, he let his eyes close, tilting his head back onto his chair. _Another half-hour or so before I can expect a call from Nagisa._ He stood, stretching his arms up over his head and letting loose with a surprised curse when his knuckles bounced off the blade of the overhead fan. _Dear god, I am a complete space cadet this evening!_ Pitiful frown tugging at his mouth, he drug himself to the couch, flopping out lengthwise, and dropped his glasses to the table.

He knew why his thoughts were scattered, but he hadn't been able to make much sense of them, nor come up with a plan to restore some sort of order. As soon as he'd gotten home from work, his conversation with Rin was on his mind, and he was feeling incredibly conflicted. _I know I told him I was willing to go along with this, but I cannot help worrying. I, at least, have an idea of what to expect, but he has nothing. No basis for an informed decision. Have I done the wrong thing? Should I have simply told him 'no'?_

Dragging his hands to his face, he rubbed roughly at his eyes. He couldn't help feeling it was a bit irresponsible, getting involved with Rin in this way, but Rin had seemed so certain. _'It has to be you, Rei. I can't imagine there being any other dom I could meet that I would trust as much as you. This was definitely a shock at first, but now that I know, I can't help feeling like this was a really happy accident. People play with folks they know all the TIME, and it doesn't affect their friendships at all. What are you so worried about?'_ Rin's words had held the heat of conviction, and Rei had definitely been swayed at the time, but now…

 _It isn't as if I've never successfully managed an occasional D/s arrangement within the scope of a friendship. Though certainly not with such a close friend._ Rei snorted derisively at himself. _A bit outlandish for me to describe this as a 'close' friendship, isn't it. Before last night, I hadn't seen him or reached out to him in years. Even with all that being true, I can't deny that I truly do want to help him in any way I can._ A tiny smile curled one corner of his mouth, recalling Rin's list of things he wanted to try 'in scene'. _Though I'd imagine most people wouldn't consider that sort of thing 'helping'._ Despite that, Rei knew from his time spent as a sub that a well-done scene had the potential to be incredibly powerful and affirming for all involved, and it had been clear from Rin's description of his mother's illness that Rin was in desperate need of 'destressing'.

 _Perhaps that is what is leading to my confusion; I certainly want to help him, and I know how helpful BDSM play can be, but I'm selfishly a bit terrified of changing our friendship in some way. I just found him again, and I don't want to lose him if something doesn't go as expected._ "GAH, this is so STUPID!" he hollered into the quiet of his living room, abruptly yanking himself from the couch to stomp to the refrigerator. _I'm just thinking in circles at this point! I told him I would leave the decision up to him, and that is what I will do._

Glaring at the inside of the fridge, Rei considered a moment before lifting a beer from the shelf and heading back to the living room. _I am thoroughly unused to being so unsure of what to do. I'm the one everyone else looks to, when a decision needs to be made. Why am I struggling so much with this?_ He took a distracted pull from his drink, sliding a coaster to himself as his thoughts continued to swirl. _Maybe he will decide on his own that this was all a terrible idea, and we'll just… move on. He promised me he wouldn't hesitate to contact me if I could help in any way with the situation with his mother, so I'll still have opportunities to make myself of use. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he is having second thoughts about all of this, just like myself, and we can push the whole thing into the rubbish bin of our brains and get on with our regular li-_

Rei jumped slightly as the laptop notified him of Nagisa's incoming call. _Oh thank god. I am well and truly tired of my own company, right now._

Tapping the button, Rei felt a relieved smile stretch his lips. "Good evening, Nagisa."

"REEEIII-CHAN! Guess what I did today!" Nagisa was bouncing excitedly in his desk chair, and Rei couldn't help giggling.

"I have no idea! Did you finally tackle the 'brutus-burger'? Or what was it called?"

"Ooooh… no, I haven't worked up the guts to do that, yet. Four pounds of meat is a little crazy. BUT! I gave a presentation, all by myself, at work today!" Nagisa pulled himself up straight in his seat, saluting the camera. "And I NAILED IT!"

Surprised smile lighting up his face, Rei leaned forward, nodding excitedly. "That's wonderful! Is this the one you were telling me about last week?"

Nagisa shot him a smug wink, twirling himself back and forth in his chair. "That it IS, Rei-chan. Even my boss's boss complimented me, afterwards!"

"Nagisa, that's amazing! I'm not surprised, but I'm thrilled to hear they are noticing and appreciating your hard work. I assume you wore a suit."

Rolling his eyes, Nagisa jerked his movements to a stop, fixing Rei with an exasperated stare. "YES, MOM, I wore a suit."

"You can hardly blame me for asking," Rei snickered, taking a quick sip of his beer. "So… You'll be running the place in 6 months, right?"

"That's the plan!!" Nagisa tittered happily, scootching himself closer to the computer. "How was your day?"

Rei let himself fall back into the couch, a shuddering sigh shaking his shoulders. "You know without asking. It was utter crap. There's a man that was on my team prior to my promotion, and he has been doing everything in his power to make my daily life a living hell. He pulled a new stunt today; went directly to my boss to complain about my notes on his project file. And because my boss DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO HIS JOB, he bought it, hook, line and sinker. I cannot express to you how humiliating it is to be told how to do your job by someone who literally could not DO your job if he had two lifetimes to learn it and a dedicated panel of full time trainers."

Nagisa, pointedly staring in fascination at his nail beds, a determined pout on his face, let a loud "pah" puff his cheeks before replying. "You know… I kinda wanna burn that place down, Rei-chan. I hate what they're doing to you. I HATE IT. You don't DESERVE this, Rei! You've worked harder than anyone!"

"It's fine, Nagis-"

"It's not fine." Nagisa's voice was quiet but insistent, and Rei snapped his mouth closed, a pained grimace contorting his features. "It's not fine, it will never BE fine, and you know it. Look me in the eye, right now, and tell me how any of that is going to turn out FINE."

Rei found himself blinking slowly, surprised to feel the start of tears at the corners of his eyes. "Nagi… Please. I don't… This has all been very difficult. I don't know what to do, yet. And no, it likely WON'T be fine. But for now, I get through each day the best I can." Clearing his throat embarrassedly, he diverted his eyes from the camera. "Can we please discuss something else."

Nagisa leaned in, his face inches from the laptop, focus going blurry. "Rei-chan…" he whispered, but Rei refused to meet his glance. Sighing heavily, Nagisa settled back into his chair, dragging his hand through the hair hanging in his eyes. "Okay. I get it, that you don't know what to do. If you don't want to talk about it right now, I'll drop it. But I'm not going to keep doing this, Rei. You have GOT to do something about your stupid, bullshit work situation. Okay? I'm not going to let up on it. Those people treat you like shit."

Rei covered his face with his hands, knees on elbows and shoulders scrunched to his ears. "I understand. Let's talk about literally anything else, please."

Studying his friend carefully, Nagisa watched silently for a few seconds before letting out a slow breath. "Right. Something else. Um." His eyes staring off into space for a brief moment, his face suddenly lit up. "OH! So I went out for drinks with some coworkers last night!!"

Rei peeked over his fingers, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. "Yeah?"

"YES! And it was so fun! I think I'm finally making some friends here, Rei-chan! We even exchanged phone numbers!"

Rei's eyebrows raised, an interested smile on his face as he dropped his hands. "You did? That sounds delightful, Nagisa. You've always been good at making friends."

"Awww, Rei-chan," Nagisa giggled. "You flatter me. But yeah, it was a really good time. A lot of griping about work, of course, but it's fun to do that too, sometimes." Realizing he was drifting back into dangerous waters, Nagisa hurried to continue. "But! Speaking of friends… How's it going with the guys? I haven't heard you mention anything since your lunch with Makoto!"

"Oh!" Rei straightened from his slouch, smiling brightly at the computer. "Actually, Haruka and I met up for a swim at Makoto's club this past week. It was surprisingly good to swim with him again… I'd forgotten how beautifully natural he is in the water."

Nodding eagerly, Nagisa dropped his chin to his hands, leaning over the desk. "Mm-hmm, good, tell me more…"

Chuckling softly, Rei sipped at his drink. "Well, let's see. He mentioned he's building a dog house for Makoto and his wife. I guess they're planning to get a puppy, soon." He moved himself back further on the couch, pulling his legs up and crossing them in front of himself while Nagisa shrieked.

"A PUPPY!! Oh my god a puppy?! Oh my GOD Rei-chan, you have to send me soooo many pictures!!"

"The puppy hasn't happened yet, Nagisa. And why wouldn't you… Just have Makoto send you pictures." Rei found a cheerful guffaw pulled from his throat. "I thought you didn't even like dogs!"

"BUT PUPPIES, REI-CHAN! Can't you see the difference? Puppies are so sweet, and little, and floofy, and they smell good, and REI I'M SO JEALOUS YOU GET TO BE THERE AND I DON'T!" Throwing himself back in his chair theatrically, Nagisa huffed out a sigh.

"Dear god, Nagisa. You'd think it was the end of the world." Rei tilted his head, thinking. "He'll probably have it by the time you fly in for his birthday. You can pet it, and… sniff it, and take all the pictures you would like, then. Weirdo."

"I will not tolerate being called a weirdo by the weirdest person I know." Nagisa lowered his mouth to the straw in his juice box, never breaking eye contact. "Oh! Speaking of…" His voice trailed off, an ornery smile curving his lips. "How'd it go with the sub, last night? Any chemistry?"

Rei's eyes flew wide before he could school his expression into something less obvious. Swallowing around a sudden lump in his throat, Rei's eyes fell to the table. "Oh. Right. Um, it went well, actually. We're still deciding whether or not to proceed, but…"

Nagisa's lips pursed, his head nodding slowly. "Well, I know how particular you are. I suppose if it wasn't a 'hard no', that's progress, at least. You were… not pleased with the others you'd met."

Rei let his eyes fall closed, doing his best to tread carefully. "I believe we had the necessary chemistry, yes. And good grief, the others… Well, one never knows what one will get, meeting strangers you've only spoken to online." _Isn't that the god's honest truth._ He couldn't help the quiet laugh that puffed from his lips, and he flinched minutely when Nagisa noticed, his eyebrow raising.

"Huh. Well, I'm glad it went well, Rei-chan. What was he like?"

"Oh… He um, he's around our age, pleasant to talk to, easy on the eyes, and seemed very eager about the whole thing."

Giving Rei his wisest nod, Nagisa squinted through the camera at his friend. "Super kinky?"

Rei guffawed, tossing himself back against the sofa. "You know I never discuss those things with you, but you insist on asking each time. And as I say each time, it is none of your business." His face became guarded, brows knitting. "You know… I've never had a sub want to know so much about my background, before."

Quirking an eyebrow, Nagisa tilted his head, confused. "Don't you have a whole spiel for that?"

"Yes. But it…" Rei paused, choosing his words cautiously. "He kept asking. I… wasn't sure what to say."

Even more confused, Nagisa leaned in, tapping on the screen. "Rei-chan. Who cares if he kept asking? You've never had a problem with telling folks 'that's none of your business' before."

"Riiight…" Rei shifted restlessly, his discomfort obvious, and Nagisa's brows shot up at his next words. "I suppose I just… felt I owed him a bit more than that."

"What? Rei, you don't owe anyone the details of your private life." Nagisa shoved himself back from the desk abruptly, he and his chair rolling to the center of the room. "Are you okay? You've seemed a little... off all night. You're kinda freaking me out."

 _I need to stop talking about this immediately. I cannot even fathom why I brought it up in the first place. What was I thinking?_ Rei forced a small laugh, smiling up at the camera. "I think you're right. Perhaps I'm still a bit shook up from my workday." Shrugging in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner, he used his drink as an excuse to break eye contact. "Oh, so, did I tell you I'll be joining Makoto and his wife for dinner next Monday?"

"OOOOH! No, you didn't! Rei-chan, that's awesome! I'm so stoked you're spending time with everyone again!!" Clapping happily, Nagisa scootched himself bit by bit back to the desk. "And what about Rin? Have you guys made any plans?"

Rei held his face as still as possible, his stomach dropping. _How did I not foresee Nagisa asking me about this? I had all day to come up with a believable story._ Putting on a convincing show of stretching his neck, Rei gathered up what scraps of truth he could in the 3 seconds or so he was willing to give himself before responding. "Mm, did I tell you we ran into each other? It was quite the surprise, but it was, of course, wonderful to see him. I'm sure we'll be making arrangements to spend time together, soon."

"No way! Where'd you guys run into each other? That's crazy!"

 _SHIT. Seriously, could I make this any more difficult for myself??_ "I know! I couldn't believe it, myself. Listen, Nagisa, it pains me to do this to you, as I always enjoy our chats, but… nature calls. If you wouldn't mind…"

Nagisa's giggles rang out over the laptop speakers, buzzing a bit against the glass top of the table. "No problem, Rei-chan! Go take care of business! I'll talk to you soon!"

Relieved smile painting his face, Rei nodded eagerly, waving a quick goodbye. "I'll look forward to it. Good night, Nagisa."

"Night!!"

As the screen blanked, Rei threw himself petulantly across the cushions of the couch, a low moan rattling from his chest. _AND THE COMPLICATIONS BEGIN! Good god, I cannot believe it never once occurred to me that I'd have to field questions from Nagisa about both the sub and about Rin. I'm definitely not feeling like my normal self. Any other time, I would have had that sorted before I went to sleep last night. What is wrong with me? What did I spend that time doing, last night?_ Quieting, Rei rolled to his side, staring at the darkened computer screen. _Honestly, I think I was just enjoying the feeling of having seen a friend again, after so much time. I was… kind of giddy._ A welcome ceasing of activity fell over Rei's mind, and he lay there, blissfully thinking about nothing as the sky grew dark.

He startled awake a few minutes later at the sound of an incoming email issuing from his laptop. _Huh? Did I fall asleep? And who is emailing me? I'm not expecting any…_ His jaw suddenly clenching, he slowly sat up, pulling the machine to him. His hand hovered over the trackpad while his nostrils flared, both wanting and not wanting to know whether it was Rin, whether a decision had been made. Letting out a breath in a soft whistle, Rei turned the screen on.

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Hey.

I wanna do this. Let's set up a time.

I know you're worrying too much, so stop. It'll be fine. Let's just see how it goes, ok?

Rin

 

Rei felt a jolt of nervous excitement move through him. _So there it is. I promised him I would let him decide._ Quickly standing before he could change his mind, he grabbed his day planner from his bag and brought it back to the table, flipping it open.

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Hey, yourself. I'm not sure what your availability is like, but I have an opening next Friday from 7-10 pm.

I would prefer we not use our actual names, here. Have you decided on how we will refer to each other during scenes?

Thank you,  
Tokyodomrr186

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Oh, my bad. Sorry about that. Master and pet is fine. (you have no idea how long it took me to type that. I kinda wanna die.)

7-10 next Friday? Okay. Sounds good to me. Do I need to bring anything? Or like… I guess I just don't know what to do.

I've been meaning to ask you. Are there actually 186 'tokyodoms'? I mean, I get the 'rr', but. Just wondering.

Hope you're having a good evening. I made myself hot pot tonight. It was badass.

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
My pet,

7 pm on Friday it is, then.

There is no need for you to bring anything but yourself. I have everything we will require.

186 is a reference to my height. In cm.

I will admit to a spot of jealousy, regarding your dinner. I ate burnt chicken.

Thank you,  
Your Master (that WAS hard to type, wasn't it? I'd be a complete liar if I said this didn't feel terribly awkward. Are you absolutely, 100% sure about this?)

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
Dear Master, (ohmygod this is … okay, I'm fine)

I am 100% certain. I'm dying laughing at our dork-asses and our emails, though.

WHEN DID YOU GET THAT EFFIN' TALL? I mean, I knew you were taller than me, but geez. I stalled out at 180.

So, Friday at 7 at… the address you gave me, right? I'm looking forward to seeing your place!

Thanks,  
Your pet (I guess I better get used to this.)

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
My pet,

The address I gave you is my apartment where I see clients. It is not my home. I have no interest in my subs knowing where I live. (Oh. That sounds a bit… It's fine for you to know where I live, as we are friends. But that is not where we will meet. In service of the strong delineation between friends and dom/sub.)

This whole situation is rather amusing, isn't it? I suppose we will both have to get used to it. I have more practice, with the names, but your comments about the aforesaid names are quite entertaining.

I offer my sincerest apologies that my genes were superior. I'd say I'll try not to lord my height advantage over you, but actually, I very much will. So.

Taller than you because I am actually just BETTER than you,  
Your Master

 

To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay then, Master! I guess I see how this is gonna go!

Honestly, though. I'm looking forward to it. I'm scared as hell, like so nervous, but still really excited.

Thanks.  
Your pet (I only cringed once before I typed it)

 

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Reaching out in response to your posting  
Message:  
My pet,

I'll see you then.

Make sure you shower. I wouldn't want your 'inferior genes' smell to disturb us during play.

Seriously considering whether I should have chosen 'munchkin' instead of 'pet',  
Your Master

P.S. Don't be nervous. I'll start things very simply. Nothing to be afraid of. You're going to do great.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Rin establish a new dynamic.

"Hello?"

"RIN-CHAN!! It's been a while, eh??" Rin instinctively pulled the phone away from his ear at Nagisa's enthusiastic greeting, chuckling.

"Hey, man. How's it going? Been a minute since I talked to you. Stuff still going okay for you there in the down-under?"

Nagisa grumbled noisily, Rin able to still his laughter (but not his smile) at the displeased sounds. "Rin-chan. Why does every animal here have a death wish against humans? I shook a scorpion out of my slipper yesterday."

Nodding solemnly, Rin lowered himself to a dining room chair. "Yeah. I'm impressed you knew to check your slippers at all."

"LEARNED THE HARD WAY. I stuck my foot in there like a week after I got here and felt a… Well, I didn't piss my pants, but it was a close call!! Anyways! It's great to hear your voice! How are you?"

Rin scooted his mug closer, tucking himself in comfortably at the table. "Not too bad, Nagisa. Things have been… Well, I think things are looking up. We got a little bit of good news about Mom the other day, and…" Rin's mouth went slack for a moment before he continued. "Anyhow, that feels good, you know?"

"Oooh, that's awesome! I'm so glad to hear it! And Gou-chan? How is she?"

"She's good, actually. Did she tell you she got her promotion at work?"

Rin felt an eyebrow cock as Nagisa began to giggle. "Um… Yeah, I think I heard that at some point," Nagisa finally offered, Rin's nostrils flaring at his smug tone.

"Oh okay, yeah, it's hilarious, I was the last to know."

Tittering happily, Nagisa did his best to draw a breath and speak. "You really were. Even Rei-chan knew." Rin rolled his eyes, hands distractedly twirling his mug on the table as Nagisa continued to laugh. "OOOOH, speaking of Rei! He said you guys ran into each other the other night!!"

Rin's face froze, his stomach dropping. _WHAT? WHAT THE ACTUAL… Oh my GOD, what does he KNOW? No, calm down. Rei would never just spill… But what DID he tell him? Now I have to try to make sure our stories match, and I have no idea what he said!_

After Rin's horrified silence drug out several seconds, mind racing, Nagisa mercifully stepped in. "Rin-chan? Did I lose you?"

"Mm, I'm here," Rin mumbled pitifully, thumb and forefinger pressed to the corners of his eyes.

"Oh great! Did you hear me? I said I heard you and Rei-chan ran into each other!"

"What did he say, exactly?" Rin's mouth fumbled out before he could stop it. _Ugh, don't make him suspicious! Gah, what am I doing?? Who responds with something like that?!_

There was a brief silence before Nagisa replied. "Eh? Rin-chan? What are you… He just said you two ran into each other. Did something happen? You sound kinda mad."

Forcing out a laugh, Rin frantically scrambled in his mind for something- anything- to say. "Why would I be mad? It was just such a surprise I'm still having trouble believing it! Hehe…"

Rin squeezed his eyes shut, desperately searching for something 'normal' to say as he heard Nagisa's straw bottom out in his juice box. "Oh… Well I guess I understand that. He seemed pretty shocked by it, too. Tokyo is a pretty big place. Anyways, he said you guys were going to make plans to hang out?"

Rin's shoulders descended from their perches at his ears, a long breath escaping his throat. _Ah, here's some safer ground. I don't have to tell Nagisa WHAT we're doing, just that we have plans._ "Yeah! We actually talked a bit last week. We're gonna get together Friday night! Probably grab some food or something; we haven't really worked out the details, yet."

Once his half-lie was told, Rin took a small sip from his tea, relieved he'd dodged the bullet, but he felt his eyebrows slowly climbing in alarm as Nagisa remained quiet. _Why isn't he saying anything? What, is having a meal with someone so strange? Or maybe Rei said we were doing something else and I messed up?_

"Friday night, huh," Nagisa murmured slowly. "I must have my weeks turned around." His voice was so quiet Rin could barely hear him, and it took Rin a moment to process the words.

"Your… weeks?" Rin finally asked, suddenly worried he had his OWN schedule turned around.

"Mm, never mind! I was talking to myself. Anyways, that's great! I'm so glad Rei-chan is spending time with all of you, again. He's been so lonely, doing nothing but working all the time!!" Nagisa sounded almost like his cheery self again, though Rin was certain he could hear an 'edge' that wasn't there before.

_What is THAT? I'm not used to Nagisa sounding… serious, honestly. Maybe he's just been really worried about Rei. They've always been close._ "Yeah, he talked to me a little bit about his job; seems like they were working him into the ground. Of course, HE didn't describe it that way, but that's what it sounded like to me." A subconscious smile spread over Rin's features. "Makoto and Haru really enjoyed seeing him, again. I'm excited to get my turn."

"Right…" Nagisa breathed absentmindedly, Rin's eyebrows furrowing at the strange response. 

"Nagisa? Are you oka-"

"Anyways, Rin-chan, I'm not going to keep you. I just wanted to say 'hello'. Um, talk to you soon, okay?"

Rin found himself slowly blinking in surprise. _Did the whole mood of this conversation just nose-dive? Did I say something bad? What the hell is going on?_ "R-right. Yeah, um, good to talk to you for a bit, Nagisa."

Nagisa ended the call immediately, further adding to Rin's confusion. _Okay, that was the strangest call I've ever had with him. And I usually can't get him off the phone no matter how hard I try! I feel like… maybe I have no idea what we were actually talking about. I mean, we barely talked about anything! Why did he even call? Did I miss something?_ Lost in his thoughts, Rin stared blankly at the wall, his tea cooling on the table.

 

*

 

Nagisa: Is this weekend your 'on' weekend?

Rei: Oh, hello Nagisa! It is! Why, what's going on? I was actually just about to video-call you, to show off these dumplings I made.

Nagisa: That's what I thought. I just heard something very strange from Rin.

 

Eyes wide, Rei read and re-read Nagisa's message, his jaw clenching. _What?? He's asking me about what weekends I see subs, and now he's bringing up Rin-san… Oh my god, what is going… Did he TELL him? I would have thought Rin-san wouldn't want anyone else to know! Oh Jesus, I am so glad this is happening via text; I'm certain the truth is splashed all over my face, right now. Okay, calm down and try to gather a bit more information..._

 

Rei: Oh, you spoke with Rin-san? How's he doing?

Nagisa: Just got off the phone with him a minute ago. Rei-chan… He said you guys have plans Friday night. What is going on?

 

_OH SHIT. Oh no… Of course Rin-san wouldn't know that would be a dead-giveaway to Nagisa. He likely just mentioned it hoping to get Nagisa off his back. But Nagisa is also making it sound like Rin-san didn't bring up anything about scening. I have the distinct feeling if Nagisa knew FOR SURE, He wouldn't have bothered with texting. He would have called me and immediately taken me to task over it. I think I can still salvage this. Keep it simple, and keep it truth._

 

Rei: Heh, that's actually very funny. I would imagine you're freaking out a bit, yes? Rin-san and I have plans Friday night because my early sub for Friday cancelled.

Nagisa: OH MY GOD, okay. Yes, Rei-chan, I think you could safely say I was freaking out. And was also supremely confused. In my head, I was trying to figure out HOW this happened, WHY it happened, and also WHEN ON EARTH IT WOULD HAVE HAD TIME TO HAPPEN. God, I'm so relieved…

 

_Relieved? Nagisa, you have NO idea…_ Feeling his face relax, Rei happily typed out a response, glad to be 'out of the woods' for now. _I'll need to inform Rin-san more thoroughly regarding how much Nagisa knows about my weekend activities, so we don't make another mistake like this._

 

Rei: I can imagine so! So, may I call you and show off my supper dumplings, or not? I'm quite pleased with how they turned out.

Nagisa: I'm just going to be jealous of them. You're such a jerk. I ate cup noodle for dinner. But yes, call me and brag about your stupid dumplings. Better that than you trying to send a picture and somehow ending up with your junk in there again.

Rei: Nagisa… I am fully clothed… Who is the actual jerk, here? And cup noodle? Jesus. Okay, talk to you in a sec.

Nagisa: DON'T BOTHER CALLING IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LECTURE ME. I don't need it.

Rei: I think you don't know WHAT you need, if you are eating junk food for dinner all of the time. I'm calling, and if I choose to lecture you, I will. It is my sworn duty as your friend to call you out on your crap.

Nagisa: UUUGGH. Fine, mom. Talk to you soon.

 

*

 

"Earth to Matsuoka…" Isuzu intoned, waving her hand in front of Rin's face and giggling when he startled. "I've asked you the same question three different times, now. Where ARE you? You've been a distracted mess all evening."

Blinking slowly, Rin tilted his head, his face confused. "I… I'm sorry, Isuzu. What were you saying?"

She quietly chuckled, grabbing his arm to drag him into a less-busy corner of the gym. "I asked," she whispered, "if Friday is the big night."

"OH." Rin's face immediately suffused with blood, his eyebrows furrowing. "Um. Yeah. I guess it is. I'm uh…" Locking his eyes onto her shoes, he grimaced slightly. "I've been thinking about cancelling."

"WHAT?? Rin, NO!" He visibly flinched at the volume of her voice, eyes darting like a wild animal. "Okay, okay," she murmured, patting him on the shoulder. "It's going to be fine. Look, I'm done with my stretches. Wanna get out of here? Have a little chat?"

Rin looked to be on the verge of tears, and Isuzu felt her chest tighten at his terrified expression. "Isu-zuuu… I don't know what I want," he whimpered, finally raising his eyes to hers. "I'm freaking out!" His last words came out as a pathetic hiss, and she quickly began guiding him to the locker rooms.

"Go get showered and changed and meet me at the front door. If you aren't there in 15 minutes, I'm coming in after you." With a brisk pat to his back, she headed off for the ladies, and Rin carried himself on numb legs to the showers. Sure enough, when he was done, she was waiting for him as promised, gaze locked on her phone.

"Hey," he mumbled meekly as he approached.

"Mm, good. You had 2 minutes until I stomped in there to find you," she stated matter-of-factly, never looking up from her phone. "I can think of worse things in this world than seeing you naked. You've always had a great body."

"ISUZU WHAT THE HELL, please…" Slapping his hands to his immediately red cheeks, Rin's posture slumped. "I thought it was Sousuke. I thought Sousuke was the one sent purposely to my life to embarrass me whenever possible. But it was YOU, wasn't it? Oh my god, Isuzu, I want to die…"

Happy laughter tinkling out over the entryway, Isuzu gently tugged Rin's hands down. "Hey, I was just giving you a compliment! I'm trying to inspire some confidence in you! You're a kind, gorgeous, hard-working guy, Matsuoka. Have a little bit more faith in yourself!"

Rin allowed himself to be pulled out of the gym, steps surly and quiet behind Isuzu's cheerful gait. "I don't really think I'm any of those things," he finally grumbled, a tiny frown seemingly permanently installed on his face.

Isuzu whirled on him, shocked. "JESUS! And you were such a cocky asshole in school, too. Who the hell ARE you right now? Rin, everything you've ever done, you've worked your tail off at it until you were the best. Give yourself some credit! My god!" Turning back around, she strode off, Rin following on instinct. "We're going to my place. I'm going to cook you some dinner, and we are going to talk. Okay? We can chat, and not have to worry about being overheard."

Wincing, Rin hurried to catch up. "Don't you live with your brothers? I would rather throw myself into the sun than have them find out what I'm up to."

"Oh, Momo moved out a month or two ago to live with his girlfriend. And Sei works late, so he won't be there." Having reached the bus stop, she reached out, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer, the two standing in silence while they waited. 

Rin found his thoughts drifting, strangely comforted by the feeling of Isuzu's fingers on his. _She reminds me so much of Gou,_ he eventually decided. _Confident and goofy and good at chilling me out. I guess it doesn't hurt to have another 'little sister'. And I do feel a lot better already, knowing she knows what's going on, and wants to help. It isn't like I could talk about this stuff with Gou. I need to talk to SOMEONE about it. I'm scared to send anymore emails to Rei… I don't want him to know I'm freaking out, or I'm afraid he'll call the whole thing off._

Snickering lightly at himself, he let his eyes fall closed. _I guess I don't want to cancel after all, do I. Jesus, I'm a mess._ When he felt Isuzu's hand gently squeeze his, he returned the favor, offering her a tiny, embarrassed smile.

"It's gonna be okay, Rin. Come on. Here's the bus." She dropped her hold, bounding to the bus as Rin scrambled to keep up. "Hope you like tofu and mushrooms, 'cause I'm pretty sure that's all I have right now."

Grabbing onto the overhead bar, Rin lowered his gaze to hers as she settled herself in the seat. "You really don't have to cook for me, Isuzu. We could stop somewhere and I could grab us some food. I mean… You're the one doing me a favor, here. You don't owe me dinner on top of that."

A small pout on her lips, she hummed in thought as she looked up at him. "Well… I guess I just feel like you are in desperate need of some TLC. Though if I'm honest with myself, I probably can't consider my cooking to be 'TLC'. I'm actually kind of awful." She tittered gleefully, clearly not bothered. "Okay, I tell you what? There's a little food stall that usually sets up a couple blocks from my place. I'll let you pick out whatever you want, and I'll buy it. I'm taking care of you, tonight. You look like you're about to come apart at the seams."

"I'm obviously fine," Rin mumbled, low enough she couldn't hear, and pulled out his phone to avoid her penetrating gaze. His eyebrows lifted in surprise when he saw he had a text.

 

Rei: Hey! I spoke with Nagisa last night, and he mentioned you got some good news about your mother's health! That's wonderful, Rin-san!

 

_What, did Nagisa call Rei after we got off the phone? God, how much DOES Nagisa know? I'm sure he told Rei all about me acting like a weirdo on the phone. Though Nagisa actually probably took the cake for 'weirdo' on that particular call._ Rin took a large breath, then tapped a response.

 

Rin: We did! There's some… number of some sort (I'm blanking on the word, right now) that they keep track of, something in her blood, and there was a big improvement from the last time they tested her. Maybe we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Also. Holy shit. Nagisa told me you mentioned we ran into each other and I PANICKED. Dude! What the hell was I supposed to say?? Maybe we should have worked out a story before you went blabbing about it! I almost puked.

Rei: GAHHH NOT HERE, RIN-SAN. If you have anything you would like to discuss of that nature, I believe you have another way to reach me. But that is delightful to hear, with regards to your mother. I hope her health rapidly improves.

Rin: Are you being serious?

Rei: I think it's ideal when anyone can accidentally stumble across your text messages, or see them over your shoulder, and there's just nothing AT ALL ABOUT THEM that could ever cause anyone any problems EVER, don't you? Especially when there is an additional level of password protection on my email account (and I certainly hope there is on yours as well)?

Rin: Hahahaha, oh wow! Okay, no problem! Jeez. You are still super uptight.

Rei: Laugh it up. I'm simply careful. AS ONE SHOULD BE, WITH EMAIL. AND TEXTS. At any rate, I need to get back to my dinner. Very encouraged to hear about your mother.

Rin: It was nice of you to check in. And you're a dork.

Rei: Perhaps. A dork that can reach the top shelf without a step-stool.

Rin: OH GO TO HELL. *laughs* Have a good night, Rei.

Rei: You as well, Rin-san.

 

"What are you giggling about?" Isuzu chirped, Rin realizing with a start that he was, indeed, giggling, and Isuzu had likely been watching him the entire time.

"Oh," he chuckled, sliding his phone back to his pocket. "Gou was just telling me a story about work." _Wait, what? Why did I just lie about that? I don't have to keep it a secret that Rei and I are friends! And Isuzu already knows everything anyways! Why would I feel it necessary to… I think I'm just a raw nerve, right now._ "Uh… So what sort of food do they have at this stall, anyways? I'm starving!"

 

*

 

"Okay. So talk. Why would you say you want to cancel?" Isuzu finally asked, once they were sat at her table, food spread out in front of them.

Rin's head dropped, a soft sigh issuing from his chest. "I don't really want to cancel. I just… Like, I was nervous before, but I'm actually starting to get scared. Terrified, honestly. I don't know what to expect, and he's a friend of mine, and I'm…" Spearing a takoyaki, he shoved it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "I guess it's the fear of the unknown, or whatever. Like, what is actually going to happen? Did I really think this through?"

"You KNOW you thought this through, Rin. So much so that you have managed to bring me over to your way of looking at it, even though at first, I thought it was a really bad idea for you to scene with him. You were so convinced, it convinced me. It's normal to be scared, the first time. Think about it. Would you somehow be less scared if you didn't know him the way you do?"

Rin watched her take a bite of pizza, thinking carefully. "No, I guess not," he eventually admitted. "I'm probably LESS scared, knowing it's Rei."

"Exactly!" she announced around her mouthful, slapping her hand to the table. "Hell… Rin, I'm JEALOUS. I'd switch you places in an instant. Everything I've heard about him is fantastic. And even knowing him as little as I do personally, he seems like an incredibly good guy. You really, REALLY lucked out, here. Don't mess it up by being a little panty-waist and chickening out."

Cackling while he reached for another bite, Rin couldn't keep the ornery smile from his face. "You're jealous, eh? What's that all about? I thought you had a domme!"

Isuzu rolled her eyes dramatically, tossing herself backwards in her chair. "I do, I do… But… He's soooo pretty…"

Bursting into surprised laughter, Rin threw his head back, guffaws echoing off the walls. "Oh my, Isuzu, does someone have a crush?"

"Rin, that's stupid. We aren't in grade school. He is simply a stunning specimen of a man. Or at least, he was the last time I saw him. What's he look like, now?"

Easy laughter pulling his lips into a grin, Rin grabbed himself a slice of pizza. "Isuzu, no lie, I think the bastard has gotten better looking. What kind of jerk manages to look good in a plaid blazer? He clearly keeps himself in good shape."

"Oooooh, that sounds scrumptious," Isuzu moaned theatrically as she snagged another mouthful of pizza. "So, does he get naked during scenes?"

"Mm, mno," Rin mumbled around his bite. "He doesn't take his clothes off. He said it helps draw a line between 'BDSM' and 'explicitly sexual' play."

Isuzu nodded sagely, snagging a loose piece of pepperoni just before it slid off the slice. "That actually makes a lot of sense. You're getting naked though, right?"

Rin felt his cheeks heat, and he lowered his gaze to his lap. "Well I mean… It's hard to um… like uh, flog someone through clothes and all. He told me it can actually be more dangerous, because he would have more trouble gauging how much force to use, and wouldn't be able to see how my skin was reacting."

Isuzu's eyes grew huge, and she quickly took a sip of her beer before responding. "OH MY GOD, YES. The worst injuries I've ever gotten were while I was clothed. I have a couple of scars on my ass, actually."

Rin felt his teeth grit in sympathy. "Oh wow. I'm really sorry to hear that. Uh. Rei said his goal is to leave no lasting marks. Which… you know. Is ideal for me, too. Doctor's visits are embarrassing enough without getting THAT question."

Nodding enthusiastically, Isuzu brought her hands together in front of her, Rin finding himself subconsciously shrinking back from the table at the look in her eyes. "Okay, all of that is well and good. But you and I need to talk seriously about how you are feeling about being naked and probably… Well, so I know you've hung out with Rei before. Hell, y'all have probably been naked around each other before, if your locker rooms were anything like mine. But uh… Are you going to be okay with the three of you? You know… You, Rei, and Rin-chin?"

Rin's mouth slowly fell open while Isuzu giggled shrilly, delightedly clapping as he stared. "Isuzu? Did you just... name my cock?"

"Does it matter?? Fine! You, Rei and your OBVIOUSLY AROUSED PENIS, Rin. If you want me to spell it out, I will. This is embarrassing you far more than it is me."

"Oh my god," Rin cried, burying his head into his arms on the table.

"SEE? Are you prepared for one of your buddies from high school to not only see you all hot and bothered, but to know HE IS THE REASON YOU ARE HOT AND BOTHERED? Like, we need to seriously hash this out. This is the one and only thing that gives me pause, when it comes to this whole scenario."

"Please stop," Rin whispered, his fingers balling into fists.

All traces of a smile left Isuzu's face, and she leaned forward, tapping Rin on the top of the head with a stern finger. "No. I will not stop. Have you really, REALLY thought about that part? You can say all the crap you want to about 'trusting him' and all, but are you prepared for Ryuugazaki Rei to get you hard, and to know exactly why you are hard? Have you mentally explored that as thoroughly as you can? Because Rin, if you like this even half as much as I think you will, you are going to be dealing with that."

"It's not Rei, it's just a dom," Rin moaned, not convincing either of them. "It has nothing to do with my 'high school buddy'. We are not friends, when we're in scene."

Shrugging, Isuzu dug back into her food. "Fine. If that's okay with you, I'm not going to argue with you."

"It's fine. It will be fine. He says it happens all the time. He said he often… becomes aroused during scenes, too."

"Rin? Look at me for a minute." Isuzu stared holes into the top of Rin's head until he finally lifted it, wincing as he met her gaze. "You probably aren't going to know if he's aroused or not. He'll be clothed, and you will… not be in the same headspace you are used to. To be perfectly honest, you don't seem okay with it at ALL, right now." Sighing, she leaned back, flicking a bit of cheese at Rin. "I guess it's always embarrassing, at first. You'll probably know whether you'd like to continue after your first or second playdate."

"Riiight," Rin sighed, poking forlornly at his french fries. "I mean, I guess if SOMEONE has to see me like that, I could do a lot worse than Rei."

Eyebrows shooting up, Isuzu slapped her hands to the table hard enough to send a takoyaki rolling. "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. You are… You know? Pardon my language. But you are FUCKING RIGHT you could do worse than Rei. What are you going to do if you start to fall for him? Mr. 'I don't date friends' and 'he doesn't date subs'? I'm sure he is already well aware of the potential emotional pitfalls of any D/s relationship, but what about you? Honestly, Rin. I know you are nervous about all of this, but I think you are worrying about the wrong things."

"Me? Fall for REI? Are you serious, right now? Have you MET that nerd?"

Isuzu's mouth fell open, dumbstruck for a moment. "Wh… Rin, yes. Holy shit, yes, I've met him. He's STUNNING. And he's kind. And you obviously trust him. And he's hard-working and successful, from what you've told me." Shaking her head, she pushed herself back from the table. "Look. Whatever. Forget I mentioned it."

As Isuzu stomped off to the kitchen for another beer, Rin watched in shock. _What is she going on about? What does any of this have to do with Rei? I mean, in theory, this has NOTHING to do with Rei. He is my… my dom. That's all. When we scene. She's making a huge deal over nothi-_ "KYAAA!" Rin hollered, tossing his fry across the table as the front door slammed open.

"I'm home!" Seijuurou boomed, stepping into the entryway and ditching his shoes. As Isuzu greeted him from the kitchen, Seijuurou's eyes caught on Rin, sitting frozen at the table. "Oh wow, Matsuoka! It's great to see you!" Long legs carrying him from the door to the dining room in three strides, he eagerly shook Rin's hand, Rin using all of his willpower to keep from bolting from the house. "It's been a while, huh? Since the last volleyball season ended, probably?"

"Heh, I think you're right," Rin eeked out, pasting a smile on his face. "How have you been?"

Flopping into the chair next to Rin, Seijuurou stretched himself out, a large sigh exploding from his chest. "Been fine, really. Work has been a little crazy, but things were slow tonight, so I gave myself the evening off."

_Of COURSE you did, because why wouldn't you show up exactly when neither of us expected you to? Oh my GOD I want out of here…_ Rin couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face, though, taking in the sight of his old high school captain while Seijuurou calmly grabbed a slice of pizza. _He's always seemed a bit 'larger than life', to me._ He chuckled quietly to himself, retrieving the french fry he'd launched into the pizza box. _It really IS good to see him. It wouldn't kill me to sit here and talk, for a while. I just need to chill out._

Rin's eyes lifted to Isuzu as she returned to the table, dropping a beer in front of each of them. Nodding slightly at her apologetic cringe, he turned back to her brother. "I'm glad to hear you are getting a little break, then, if things have been tough. And speaking of volleyball… Have you talked to Kisumi? We should be starting up here again, soon, right?"

Seijuurou nodded, his mouth full, and waved his hand as he finished chewing. "Yeah, well I guess he's been having trouble finding someone to replace Ikeda." Beginning to laugh, Seijuurou sat up straight in his chair, doing his best Kisumi impression. "It's so unbelievably RUDE to go having children when we have a volleyball team to run! And why can't he do both? Having a demon spawn at home doesn't keep you from showing up to practice and spiking a few balls, right?" Seijuurou shook his head, his beaming grin pulling an answering smile from Rin. "You'd think, from the way Kisumi talks, that Ikeda and his wife had a baby for the express purpose of pissing him off."

Isuzu and Rin both giggled, understanding nods moving their heads while they reached for more food. "Huh, so we need another player, then," Rin mumbled around his bite.

"Right. Do you think you could talk to Tachibana, again? I know he said volleyball isn't really his 'thing', but it would be nice to have some more height on the team."

Rin grimaced slightly, shaking his head. "He was pretty clear about it, honestly. I mean, the guy hates telling people 'no', so the fact that he said 'no' at ALL is…" Trailing off, Rin suddenly had an idea. "Hey, actually… I might know someone. Let me talk to him, and I'll get back with you."

"Yeah? That's great, then! Let me know, or feel free to call Kisumi. I know, despite him being an ass, he is really worried about it. If we can't find someone, we'll have to play every game a man down, or forfeit the season."

"I'll see what I can do," Rin replied, smiling. _That could be really fun, actually. I wonder what he'll say. Hell, he's damn near Seijuurou's height. It would be pretty awesome to have him on the team._ The three continued to chat happily over their makeshift dinner, time flying until Rin finally excused himself to head home.

Wrapping Isuzu in a spontaneous hug, Rin leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Thank you, seriously. For everything. I feel so much better."

"Of course," she whispered back, squeezing him tightly before shoving him towards the door, giving him a sharp pat on his back. "Don't be a stranger, Rin." Rin waved cheerfully at the two, promising Seijuurou he'd come back for dinner soon, and headed out into the night.

 

*

 

Stepping carefully into the shower, Rei turned to let the hot water soak his tense shoulders. _My god, I'm wound tighter than a cheap watch._ He unclenched his jaw, pressing his fingers into the ever-present knot at the base of his neck. His workday had been… unpleasant, to say the least, and he was having trouble shaking the disquiet. _What on earth was she THINKING? Why would she… In front of our coworkers??_

Rei's immaculate professionalism had finally snapped a few hours earlier, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the recollection, leaning back in the spray to let the water run down his head and face. Teiko had found him in the breakroom while he snuck a cup of coffee for the afternoon, ostensibly to quickly discuss a document she had been preparing. 

All had gone well until a few colleagues approached the coffee maker and Rei had stepped out of the way, brushing past her on his way to his desk. To his horror, she had stopped him with a hand on his waist, purring "Why don't we discuss this further over dinner, tonight." When the three men, previously joking around about the last time they'd actually washed their mugs, turned astonished eyes to the two of them- indicating that they had very much heard her- Rei had barely kept the smile on his face.

"Teiko-san," he had chirped, doing his best to project ease and assuredness, "I'm quite certain that anything we need to discuss, we can do here immediately, before I leave for the evening."

Briskly swiveling on his heel, he had set off for the door, but she snagged a fist in the back of his suit coat. "Ryuugazaki-san. I have some things to discuss with you that I would rather us handle alone."

Jaw hardened, Rei had swung his gaze back to her over his shoulder. "I highly doubt that is necessary," he clipped out, all vestiges of his smile gone. He dropped his eyes to her hand, still tangled in his coat. "This is quite enough, I believe."

"Rei…" she had murmured, and all four men displayed identical faces of shock at the use of his first name. "Stop avoiding me."

Briskly pushing her hand from his clothing, he had turned to face her and the three gawking others fully. "I said this is ENOUGH. Your work is beyond reproach, so I have been letting this… foolishness slide. Consider my patience at an end. One more, ONE MORE comment of this nature, and I will have you replaced. This is utterly ridiculous." Rei had found her surprised, crestfallen face somehow even more infuriating, and he could hear almost nothing but his own pulse raging in his ears. "You know, better than anyone else, the nonsense I have been enduring since I took this position! Why? Why add this to my list of bullsh- of things I have to put up with at work? Teiko-san! Please do not speak to me again until Monday. I am at my wit's end." He had stomped out of the room, then his fury led him to poke his head back around the doorjamb, the others still staring blankly. "AND IT IS RYUUGAZAKI-SAN!"

Cringing, Rei reached for the shampoo, wondering about the potential fall-out from his outburst. _I genuinely do not remember the last time I lost my cool at work. What is WRONG with me? Why am I so on edge?_ As he lathered up, a sarcastic, angry laugh escaped his throat. _Perhaps it is the fact that my job, while never being a cakewalk, has turned into a nightmare. And tonight, of all nights, to be this distracted and stressed…_ Rei's thoughts continued to wander as his body subconsciously handled the soaping and rinsing.

_Tonight. Perhaps that is a large portion of why I'm wound so tightly. What is he thinking? I didn't even ask, because honestly, it's none of my business. But I can't help being curious._ Rei had found his thoughts returning over and over to Rin's potential motivations throughout the week, and hadn't really come up with anything he found satisfactory. _Honestly though, who am I to question why he is doing this? He wants to, so he is doing so._

Thinking back over his own entry into the scene, as well as most of the people he had run into there, he couldn't help but be surprised that Rin came up with this on his own, rather than being encouraged by a partner. _Or at least, he didn't MENTION a partner. But it would be pretty strange to seek an outside party if it was something a partner urged him to do._ Absentmindedly, Rei angled his body under the water as he pondered. _So if not at a partner's suggestion… How did he land on THIS? Maybe he's… Perhaps he's just bored sexually? But then why contact me, a dom that explicitly does NOT engage in sexual play? What is he seeking?_

Unbeknownst to him, Rei's face pulled into a worried frown. He had thought through this again and again, and hadn't managed to come up with anything enlightening. _WHY AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS? It isn't my business! Rin is a friend, but in this context, he is my sub. And when have I ever sought out explanations for the choices my subs make? I am clearly not in the correct mindset for this._ Schooling his face into a determined expression, he scrubbed roughly at his armpits, the soap making trails down his sides. 

_It isn't important for me to know how he arrived at this decision; the only pertinent point is that he did. And also… ugh, that… it's me? Why is he so convinced it should be ME? Isn't this, when looked at objectively, an absolutely TERRIBLE idea??_ Rei pushed his face to the spray, doing his best to relax as the water cascaded over his shoulders. _He repeatedly mentioned he trusted me. Well, I suppose that is one of my better qualities. I am honest to a fault. Heh. As long as you do not work with me. And he is expecting me to lead him. I need to shake off this ridiculous indecision NOW. There is no room for doubt, in scene. Especially not with someone brand new._

Nudging the lever over, Rei turned again, letting the now nearly scalding water scorch over his skin. _I need to pull myself together immediately. This is unacceptable. As far as tonight is concerned, I do not know him, other than what he spelled out for me in his contract. I do not care for him, other than as a dom for a sub._ Rei spun slowly, allowing the water to heat every inch of his skin before slamming the lever to the right, the sudden rush of cold drawing a gasp from his lungs. As he twirled under the water, teeth gritting against the chill, he waited for his first involuntary shiver before shutting off the spray, stepping out and methodically towelling himself dry.

_I have a job to do. And I excel at it. That is all. The rest is inconsequential._ Lifting his chin as he stared himself down in the foggy mirror, he let the towel fall from his head. _Just like any other Friday night. Game face, Ryuugazaki._ A tiny smile curled the edge of his mouth, taking in his blurred reflection, reaching for the door while steam billowed into his bedroom.

 

*

 

Rei looked up from his book at the tiny tapping coming from the entryway. Pulling in and letting out a slow breath, his legs carried him across the room while an easy, practiced smile lifted his features. _It's 'go' time._ He had managed to calm himself considerably, and Rei even found himself looking forward to the evening, much like he usually did. Once he had the door open, he allowed his smile to brighten, taking in Rin's entire demeanor in a split second; wild, trapped eyes, hands clenched into fists, and feet that instinctively backed up a couple steps when the door swung open. _Oh my. This is even worse than I had feared; he is TERRIFIED. I need to do something about this immediately._

"Please, come in," Rei lilted, gesturing past himself into the room. "Would you like some tea?"

Shuffling awkwardly past him, Rin kicked off his shoes and looked around, stretching out his arms, fingers entangled, in an obvious show of forced casualness. "Oh, sure, uh, that'd be great, Rei."

Rei suppressed a snicker, shutting and locking the door before striding to the kitchen. _His entire body is shaking with nervousness. Based on how he looks, I am utterly shocked he even managed to force himself to come. Whatever this is all about in his mind, it clearly has him motivated, enough so to drag him here against his own better judgment. First order of business is to find a way to help him settle down._ "We will be having a chat before we begin, my pet. We need to address your nervousness, and it seems it's worth a reminder that when we are in this place, I do not wish to hear my name."

Rin flinched, darting a glance to Rei before coming to a stop in the middle of the room. "Oh shit, right, um, I'm really sorry…"

"Apology accepted." Rin's eyes flew to Rei when a light chuckle escaped his throat, happily pouring them each a mug full of tea in the kitchen. "Please have a seat anywhere you'd like. We should talk."

Dropping himself into the nearest chair, Rin tried to calm his breathing, unable to organize his thoughts well enough to reply. _THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. I SHOULD NOT BE HERE. I CANNOT DO THIS. But it's Rei. I can just tell him that, and I know he won't force me. I'll just tell him. There is no way I can call him 'Master' to his face. There is no way I can go through with this. I just need to let him know, then make my escape._

Suddenly, a warm cup was being pressed into his hands, and Rin raised his eyes to see a genuine smile on Rei's face. "Chamomile and mint," Rei murmured, and took a seat on the couch.

Without conscious thought, Rin dropped his nose to the steam, breathing it in. "My mom used to make this for me and Gou whenever we'd get sick." His eyes fell closed. "How nostalgic."

A soft laugh made its way from Rei's chest. "Mine as well. I have always found the scent and taste comforting. I hope you feel the same, though I'd be more than happy to make something else."

"No… No it's good, Re- uhm… Thank you. It's perfect." As Rin lifted his gaze to Rei, he was surprised at how calm he looked. _Isn't he freaking out just as bad as I am, right now?? Or maybe… I guess not. This is all familiar ground for him. He seems completely relaxed. In control._ Rin snickered quietly to himself. _Which I guess is the point._ He felt his shoulders soften slightly.

"I'm so glad," Rei breathed, leaning forward to drop his elbows to his knees. "I'd like to help you relax in any way I can. You… are having second thoughts, correct?"

Rin felt his lips pull back from his teeth, giving a brisk nod. "It took me more than a minute of standing there to even knock. I'm still not sure I should have come."

Rei nodded understandingly, tilting his head like he was waiting for Rin to continue. _Oh wow… I guess I already knew, but he is… really easy to be around,_ Rin thought with a tinge of astonishment. _I had myself so worked up before I got here, but a couple minutes in and I'm already wondering what I was so worried about._ "I just… I guess this is a little harder than I was expecting it to be."

"You are certainly welcome to call a halt to this whole thing, and rest assured there will be no hard feelings on my part. Perhaps I could outline what I had planned for us this evening, and you can decide whether you'd like to stay?" Rei's voice was soft, melodic, and Rin found himself wanting to hear more of it. At Rin's timid nod, Rei went on. "Wonderful. It is my intention to give you a tour of the apartment, which includes the living room and kitchen, which you can see, and a bedroom and a bathroom. The bedroom is where we would scene, should you choose so." 

Taking a tiny sip of his tea, Rei searched Rin's face for any clue to his thoughts, and apparently liking what he saw, continued. "The 'tour' of the bedroom, or the dungeon more accurately, will take a bit longer, as I'd like to introduce you to all of the… paraphernalia associated with scening. Tools, restraints, etc. I am happy to take as long as needed to answer any questions you might have. Once you are satisfied that you have a comfortable grasp of what is going on, you can choose at that point whether you would like to continue. My plans for this first interaction are quite simple; I'd like to familiarize you with some of the restraints you mentioned you'd like to try. Meaning I will have you remove your clothing, though you are welcome to keep your underwear on- as per our discussion, there will be no pain play tonight- and I will restrain you, likely with some wrist and ankle cuffs, as well as a collar. And…" Trailing off, the corners of Rei's mouth turned up in a strangely cheerful grin. "I need to determine how well my newest pet takes orders."

At Rin's involuntary inhalation, Rei giggled. "You are, as I've mentioned, welcome to leave. Even in the middle of a scene, if necessary, though I strongly discourage that as a general rule. It is best to have someone there to ensure you are well and safe after play."

Eyes huge, Rin's brain did its best to process everything he'd heard. "Rei…" he finally whispered, unsure of how to proceed, and still reeling a bit from Rei's mention of 'taking orders'. He immediately sucked in a hiss of breath through his teeth when Rei's jaw hardened.

"What did I say about that?" Rei inquired, voice like velvet and eyes like steel. "You are going to be a bit more work than I anticipated."

Grimacing, Rin slapped his free hand over his face, a drawn out 'shiiiiit' escaping his lips. "Oh Christ, I'm sorry, Rei. I just keep forgetting- OH NO I JUST DID IT AGAIN… Re- UGH, shit! M-m-master…"

Rei guffawed, his abrupt laughter startling Rin into spilling a bit of his tea. "My pet, if this is going to be so difficult for you, what would you recommend? It is of vital importance that there is a clear delineation between the time we spend here, and the time we spend together elsewhere. If there is something I can do to make it easier, I hope you will let me know."

"No! It's nothing you're doing. I'm just… I mean, this is very new, for me. And I mean, yeah, it's maybe a little hard to get used to the idea that you are… Well, like… not my friend from high school, right now. Maybe it will be easier once you aren't being so… nice? To me?"

"Nice?" Rei's eyebrows rose a bit, and he dropped a hand to his chin in thought. "I have no intention of ever being unkind, my pet. Or are you perhaps saying you would prefer I be a bit more forceful?"

A hot flush settled in Rin's cheeks, and he sipped, embarrassed, at his tea. "Maybe," he finally croaked out.

"I see." Rin watched, slightly breathless, as Rei stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in his pants. _Oh holy… I didn't even notice when I came in, but he is wearing a suit!_ Rin's eyes flicked to the entryway, where Rei's suit coat was stowed neatly on a hanger. Gaze traveling back to Rei, Rin swallowed hard as he took in the crisp collar and sleeves, vest, and tie. _I feel really underdressed, right now. Of course, I won't be dressed AT ALL later, so maybe it isn't such a big deal…_ He felt a nervous giggle forcing its way up from his chest, and he did his best to push it down as Rei approached him, coming to a stop directly in his line of sight. When their eyes met, Rin sharply inhaled, the look Rei was giving him entirely different from just a few seconds earlier. "Stand," Rei stated simply, and Rin felt himself obey without question, only noticing Rei had taken his cup from him once he was on his feet. "Follow me."

Rin did his best to keep up with Rei's brisk strides, heading to the hallway. "You are quite receptive," Rei murmured, an amused lilt to his voice, but quiet enough that Rin felt he was likely talking more to himself than expecting a reply. Turning back to Rin, Rei flicked the light on in the room to the left. "This is the bathroom. You will need to ask for permission to use it if we are in-scene. Otherwise, make yourself at home." Rin nodded, fascinated by Rei's tone. _His voice sounds like… silk stretched over something completely unyielding, like hard stone. Does he always sound like this? I really don't think so. It's… actually kind of arousing._ He was startled from his thoughts by a snap of Rei's fingers, and swinging his gaze around in surprise, realized he was still standing at the bathroom door while Rei had made his way down the hall.

"Come here." The silkiness was gone, Rei's voice all hard planes and sharp angles, and Rin's eyes widened as he stumbled over to stand in front of him. "You will apologize for not paying attention, and you will not do it again, correct?"

"I'm sorry, I must ha-"

"You will address me as 'Master' or 'Sir'. I wouldn't normally be this strict about it outside of scening, but you've asked me to do so. No words are to leave your mouth unless they are prefaced by 'Master' or 'Sir'. Is that clear?"

Mouth gaping, Rin struggled to think of anything to say at all, dumbfounded by the change in his friend's demeanor. Rei seemed a full foot taller than he actually was, the indifferent look on his face at complete odds with the harshness of his tone. "Rei… Who the hell ARE you right now? This is fucking CRAZY."

Rei's eyes softened, the corners of his mouth pulling ever-so-slightly up. "It is a role, my pet. At the end of the day, this is just complicated role-play. I know I mentioned that it would not be 'Rei' and 'Rin-san' that scene together, but dom and sub. I believe you are missing a key component of that. We are taking on roles for each other. We are acting, for ourselves and for each other, to fulfill a need. This does not change how we behave towards each other outside of this apartment; does not change who we are as people. At all. Okay?"

Rin closed his eyes, letting Rei's words settle in his mind. _Acting. Playing a role. He's right… I have been taking all of this really personally. It's difficult to reconcile the idea of my 'normal self' doing these things, but I can clearly imagine doing them as 'someone else', as a sub. As a role._ Raising a determined gaze to Rei, Rin nodded, once. "Master, I apologize for letting my attention slip. It won't happen again."

A fleeting smile passed over Rei's face, then he turned, heading into the bedroom. "I'm relieved to hear it. Let's get you acquainted with all of this, yes? And for the time being, please speak freely. I want to ensure I answer any questions or concerns you might have."

Rin didn't know exactly what he was expecting, but it was not THIS. Luxurious, billowy curtains covered the entirely of the walls and ceiling, soft lavenders and blues melting into darker hues as they converged at a single point above a small, but tasteful, chandelier. Rin stifled a giggle as Rei walked beneath it; a couple centimeters lower, and Rei would be hitting his head on it. Racks of various whips and floggers stood to the side, and shelves loaded with other toys, jars, and bottles graced the opposite wall. "It's so… fluffy," Rin eventually breathed, and Rei's melodic chuckle floated over from the corner where he was bent slightly over a desk, reviewing Rin's contract.

"It isn't my first choice in aesthetic, but I grew tired of trying to come up with further solutions to this." Rei reached out a hand, pushing aside a curtain to reveal pointed black foam, eyes never leaving the desk.

Rin felt a pit of something twist in his stomach, excitement or dread or both, and he swallowed audibly. "Is uh… Is that soundproofing?"

"It is." Rei turned to face him fully, eyes sparkling. "So you can scream as loud as you'd like."

"Oh my god," Rin whimpered, hiding his suddenly red face in his hands. "How can you just say shit like that?"

"Practice." Rei smiled sweetly, and it only served to embarrass Rin further. "Come here." Rei stepped quickly to the racks, beckoning to Rin with a quick flip of his wrist. Rin proceeded to learn more than he ever even wanted to know about floggers, whips, crops and canes, including the care and feeding of, and he found himself pushing back giggles more than once as Rei's eyes would light up at the sight of yet another of his beloved toys.

"You are still such a dork, even as a dom, R- aghh, um, Master."

Swinging his gaze to Rin's, Rei paused his exposition, blinking slowly before a smile crept onto his face. "That may be true. But I believe it is my attention to detail that has earned me my reputation."

"Reputation as a dork," Rin mumbled under his breath, finally letting himself laugh. Rei chuckled as well, moving to the shelves beside the desk.

"I've yet to receive a complaint about it. Come here, my pet. There is more to see."

Despite his teasing, Rin had to admit he was fascinated by all of the new information, though he feared with the sheer volume of it, he would forget most of it as soon as he walked out the door. He followed Rei across the room, eyes landing curiously on the neatly organized assortment of items. A summary of the restraints, gags, ropes, salves and cooling creams followed, including descriptions of some items Rin couldn't even imagine a purpose for. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, deciding not to ask. He was desperately trying to avoid getting embarrassed again, and he was afraid of what Rei might say.

Realizing he was starting to zone out again, Rin snapped his attention back to Rei as he made a sweeping gesture over the rest of the room. "The couch is for aftercare. I keep various other things in the closet beside it, that I use less frequently."

Rin's eyes were pulled to the wall beside the door, where a large, wooden 'X' stood. "What the hell is THAT?" Rin muttered, crossing the room to it. He gingerly touched the loops and hooks protruding from its ends before turning a curious glance to Rei.

"It is a St. Andrew's Cross. Just another way to restrain, really. I'm surprised you haven't read about it… I was quite impressed with the depth of your research."

"Oh." Rin dropped his eyes, thinking. "I guess I DID read about it, but seeing it in person is… Wow, it's kind of intimidating, huh?"

Rei hummed, fingers resting on his chin. "Is it? Huh. The one I have at h- uhmm, in a different dungeon actually spins around the central axis, allowing me to turn a sub upside down. I've always enjoyed it, myself."

Eyebrows shooting to his hairline, Rin leaned forward, taking a couple steps towards Rei before abruptly stopping. "You have been tied to one of these things before?"

"What? Yes, of course." Rei tilted his head like Rin was speaking a different language and he was desperately trying to understand. "It is my personal belief that any dom worth their salt has subbed. I believe I specifically mentioned that when I explained my background in the scene."

"I guess you did…" Rin's face pulled into a mixture of a grimace and a pout. "So you've been on the receiving end of ALL of this stuff, before?"

Walking to the shelf to retrieve some straps of leather as Rin watched, Rei let out a soft laugh. "I will not use anything on another person I have not experienced myself. It's probably overly cautious, but as you've pointed out before, that is just who I am." Rei held his hand casually out to his side, letting a long, black cord drop. "You can still leave. But it is high time we begin, if not."

Rin felt his stomach clench, his voice suddenly stuck in his throat. _Do or die time, Matsuoka. You've come too far to back out now, just from cowardice. Take a step forward; see what happens._ "Y-yes, Master."

"Master, yes," Rei immediately corrected, sauntering past Rin to close the door. "Take off your clothes. Now. You may leave your underwear."

_We are acting. These are roles we are playing. It is totally fine to get naked in front of Rei, because that is not Rei, and I am not me. I can… I can do this._ Rin began to disrobe, lifting his shirt over his head to cover his blush for the few seconds he could. Rei, for his part, had thrown what looked to be a mass of straps and buckles at Rin's feet, and was now flipping through Rin's paperwork again, paying Rin no attention whatsoever. Rin found his pride flaring up at being so blatantly ignored, and a smug laugh forced its way from his tight throat. "Master, you can't even stand to watch me?"

Rei's head turned slowly to Rin, and Rin immediately regretted his words upon seeing the look in Rei's eyes. "I see. In that case." Rin suppressed a gasp as Rei roughly drew the desk chair to the center of the room, gracefully dropping himself into it, staring holes into Rin. "Strip for me."

_OH SHIT, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?? I want to die…_ Unwilling to back out now that he had set his own damned self down this path, Rin finished removing his shirt, glancing around shyly before tossing it against the couch. "Uh… M-master, would you like me to t-take off my pants?"

"I would. Face away from me and bend over as you do so." Rin's eyes widened, but he did as he was told, popping the button on his fly and pulling down the zipper before slowly sliding his hands down his legs, leaning down with his ass to Rei as he tried to remove his jeans from his ankles and feet as gracefully as possible. Throwing them on top of his shirt, he stood quietly, a bit winded, and wondered what came next.

"Mm, you're doing so well, my pet. Your socks need to go, too."

Rin let his eyes fall closed briefly, reminding himself this was all acting, and whispered a "Master, yes," before tugging off his socks. Now that he was standing in nothing but his skivvies, Rin felt a surge of obstinance, wanting to get some sort of reaction from Rei, and he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his briefs, turning to face him. "Master, would you like me to-"

"No. Kneel." Rei stood from the chair, closing the distance between them in a single step, and Rin felt himself gasp as he dropped to his knees, Rei circling him once before lowering himself to one knee beside him. "Do you remember your safeword? If so, repeat it to me now."

"Master, butterfly." Rin found his cheeks heating yet again, suddenly hating himself for choosing such an embarrassing word.

"Excellent, my pet. As a reminder, there is no need to say 'Master' in any situation involving your safeword. You say it, and I will immediately cease all activity and remove your restraints, should you so wish. In those instances, it is not necessary to remain 'in role'. Your safety and comfort is paramount. Is that clear?"

Unable to force even a squeak through his shuddering chest, Rin nodded, hoping that was enough. Rei responded by dragging his thumb over Rin's cheek, his fingers curled under Rin's jaw. _Wait… When did he put on gloves?_ Rin's mind skipped, gaze locking on the only hand of Rei's he could actually see, resting on Rei's knee.

"Verrrry good," Rei purred, snagging what Rin could now see were leather cuffs. "I will be restraining your wrists and ankles, now." When he received another nod from a red-cheeked Rin, Rei got to work, pulling Rin's arms behind him to cuff his wrists and ankles together. "Too tight?" Rei inquired, leaning in close to Rin's ear, his breath ghosting over Rin's skin, his skin pebbling at the sensation.

"M-master, no," Rin stammered out, flexing his arms against the leather. _Oh holy shit. I am trussed up like a turkey in a roasting pan._ Rin thought back over what they had discussed, and realized Rei was doing EXACTLY what he had specified, even down to the order of what restraint was placed when.

"Would you prefer to stay in this position, or be laying on your side?" Rei asked almost conversationally, as if there were nothing unusual going on here at all. As Rin considered his answer, Rei fastened a collar around his neck, leaning back to admire his handiwork before grabbing an additional strap from the floor. "Mm, actually, wait to decide." Rin clenched his jaw as Rei hooked an end of the strap to his collar, then bodily lifted him from the ground to snake it around Rin's thighs, finally securing it in the back at his ankles and clipping the other end to the backside of the collar. "It is of vital importance that you tell me if you begin to have trouble breathing, or if anything starts to feel like it's falling asleep. Will you do this?" At Rin's careful nod, Rei brushed the hair hanging in Rin's face back behind his ear. "You are doing so, so well, my pet."

Finger tugging lightly at the strap, Rei nodded at a job well done, and looked back at Rin. "Well? Like this, or on your side?" Rin shifted as much as he could, trying to get a read on how his knees and shins felt against the carpet.

"I think-" Rin snapped his mouth closed, shaking his head violently. "Master, I'm sorry! Master, I think on… my side would be fine." _Oh my GOD this is wild… I seriously cannot MOVE._ Every time Rin moved a knee or a shoulder or tried to lean forward or back, everything pulled on everything else.

A tiny smile curled the corner of Rei's lip, then suddenly Rin felt himself wrapped in Rei's arms, being lowered gently to the floor. "Yes? This is good?" Rei exhaled in that velvety hard voice Rin noticed earlier, kneeling over him.

"Master, it's… Yes. It's good." Rin wondered at himself, feeling the stirrings of arousal just from Rei's mannerisms and tone. _All he has done is restrain me, and said a few things, and it's this exciting to me? Just how bad DID I want this? Apparently, he's doing me a much bigger favor than I realized. And oh my god, this is going to be embarrassing. Wait, NO, this isn't me, and that isn't him, and this is fine..._ As his cheeks reddened for what seemed like the fiftieth time that night, Rin forced himself to pull in some long, slow breaths, letting his eyes fall closed.

Once he felt he had himself somewhat under control, Rin's eyes fluttered open, immediately growing wide when he took in the situation. Rei had pulled the chair back to the desk and was seated with his profile to Rin, casually reading a book with a leash _WAIT, where did the leash come from??_ twirling absently in his fingers. Rin followed the strap from Rei's hand to where it disappeared somewhere near his own neck, and felt a slightly hysterical giggle trying to force its way out.

_What, so he's just going to tie me up and then ignore me? This is just… not at all what I was expecting. I mean, I know we agreed we would take things easy this first time, but…_ Rin struggled slightly against his restraints, flexing thighs and fingers and toes. _How long is he going to let me lay here?_ "Master?" Rin squeaked, his stomach dropping in humiliation at the break in his voice.

"Mm?" Rei hummed, turning a page.

"M-master, is um… Is this it?" Rin tried to keep the disappointment out of his tone, but Rei definitely caught it, turning curious eyes to him as he set his book down.

"This was all we agreed to, my pet. Is there something else you were expecting?"

Shrugging (and immediately regretting it as the pressure on his neck, ankles and wrists increased), Rin huffed and looked away. "I guess I just thought we'd like, interact more. Or something," Rin mumbled under his breath, then startled wildly as Rei launched himself from the chair to hover over him, pushing his face into Rin's line of sight.

"Bit of an attention whore, aren't you?" Rei husked, Rin's mouth dropping open at hearing such a word fall from his friend's lips. "And you are terrible at remembering to follow the rules. You seem to want an awful lot, for someone who can't even behave." Rei stood as quickly as he'd knelt, making his way to the racks as Rin cringed, remembering he'd forgotten to say 'Master' before his petulant outburst.

_Oh shit, what is he doing?_ Rin thought, unable to turn his head enough to follow Rei's movements. _I thought we agreed there'd be no flogging… Oh my GOD why did I have to open my stupid mouth?? I'm not ready for this!_ Gritting his teeth, he tried to slow his suddenly rapid breathing. _Well, I did this to myself. And if I can't handle it, there's always the safeword._

Rin could hear Rei take something from the rack, then walk behind him. Senses pricked to their limit, searching for any clue as to what was about to happen, Rin screeched involuntarily at the quiet voice suddenly in his ear. "I'll have to get creative, I suppose, with your punishment. And where is my apology?"

"Master, I'm sorry," Rin gasped, feeling terrified and embarrassed and… aroused? _Oh my GOD, it's like I have no control over my feelings or my body. How does this even work? Am I seriously getting turned on by this?_

"And why are you sorry?" Rei's voice was now somewhere near Rin's feet, and Rin felt goosebumps spread over his skin in apprehensive anticipation.

"Master, because I addressed you… improperly," he stuttered out, cranking his head around to look over his shoulder at Rei.

"Eyes forward," Rei snapped, and Rin immediately complied. "We don't have much time, so this may be a little intense. This is a bit more than we discussed, so please feel free to use your safeword."

Rin's breath hitched, mind scrabbling for what could possibly be coming next. It didn't take long to find out, as he felt a featherlight touch on the soles of his feet, legs jerking roughly and yanking on the rest of his body. _NOOOO OH MY GOD, he is going to tickle me?? Sweet Jesus-_ Rin's thoughts were interrupted by his own unstoppable giggling, the sound a bit manic even to his own ears, and it only grew in intensity as Rei began to move the multi-tasseled end of whatever whip he'd selected to random parts of Rin's body.

Suddenly acutely aware of his inability to move at all, Rin began choking back his laughter, the sound becoming much more like sobbing as Rei continued, relentlessly. "Noooooo…" Rin cried out, body thrashing, only succeeding in yanking roughly on his own neck.

"You are STILL unable to remember to use a single… simple… word? I don't know what I'm going to do with you, pet. Stubborn and willful and sloppy… Maybe you don't want this after all?" Rei's voice was soft, amused, but he redoubled his efforts, and Rin found tears springing to his eyes, his chest hitching.

"M-master no… Master please stop," Rin sobbed, every muscle in his body tense and aching, tears beginning to stream down his flushed face.

Rin squirmed as the whip was drawn gently down his side, and he choked on his breath when he again felt Rei's lips near his ear. "This is your first time, so in the interest of consent, I would like to remind you that you have the power to make me stop at any time. Do you remember this?"

"Master, yes."

"Very well, then." Rin let out a sharp screech as Rei resumed, and after a while, he found he had no idea how long he had been laying there, body revolting against the restraints and the maddening tickling sensations, his throat raw from screaming and crying. He barely registered the tickling had stopped, his muscles having gone slack a while back, unable to fight any longer while raspy, wet breaths pushed their way from his chest.

Blinking foggily, he felt gentle movements at his throat and wrists, eventually realizing Rei was releasing him from the straps and cuffs. Rei's gloved hands soothed over reddened skin, checking carefully for abrasions or any other sign of trouble as he cooed and murmured what a great job his pet had done. Rin felt limp, and let Rei do whatever he was going to, not having the energy to shift himself or help in any way. Before he knew it, he was being covered in a blanket and lifted to the couch, Rei stretching his legs out slowly as Rin hissed from the burn of having had them held in one position for so long. Rei knew all the right places to soothe, fingers kneading into the muscles of Rin's thighs and calves, not stopping until both legs were straight and relaxed.

Rin stared, fascinated, his eyes unable to look away from Rei's face as he worked and kept up the stream of soft, soothing praise. Soon, Rei's hands were at his arms, stretching them and rotating them, fingers pressing into his shoulder blades and neck until Rin couldn't feel any soreness there, either. He felt kind of… floaty, and it took him a moment to notice Rei's face near his, Rei repeating a question he seemed to have asked a couple of times already. "Hmm?" Rin murmured, doing his best to focus.

"I will be right back, alright? I am going to go get you some tea." Rei's expression was gentle and kind, and Rin realized with a start that he was staring at Rei's lips, pulled into a lovely smile.

"Oh, yeah, that would be… nice. Thank you," he breathed, looking down at his lap as he felt another blush creep to his cheeks. Rei had pulled the blanket over to cover him completely, and Rin dug his fingers into the soft fabric, waiting for Rei to return. _This is… really comforting. I feel so relaxed, and worn out, like I could sleep for days._ He let his head fall back onto the arm of the sofa, smiling up at the ceiling. _This night has been a total emotional rollercoaster, hasn't it? I don't quite understand how that is relaxing, but it obviously is, because I think I could melt into this couch right now._

Rin awoke with a startle, unaware he had fallen asleep, when a gloved hand pushed some stray hair from his forehead. "My pet, sit up for me and drink some tea. I apologize, but we didn't really leave ourselves time for you to sleep."

Pulling himself to a sitting position, flopping weak legs over the side of the couch to rest his feet on the floor, Rin nodded, taking the cup from Rei. "Thank you," he mumbled, and his first sip made his eyebrows raise. "Black tea?" Rin's eyes flicked to the clock on the desk. "A bit late for that, isn't it?" His mouth tugged into a lazy grin, hoping to convey he was teasing.

"For me, yes. For you, it's probably the only way you'll make it home. I expect you will sleep well, tonight." Rei's eyes sparkled, his smile a bit mischievous, and Rin snorted, shaking his head.

"You're right about that. I feel like I could fall asleep pretty much anywhere and not wake up until Monday."

Humming in thought, Rei drug the chair over to sit by the couch, stretching his arms over his head. "How long will it take you to get home, from here?"

Rin tilted his head, his thoughts already becoming clearer as he sipped. "If I remember right from checking the train schedules, I would guess about 45 minutes."

"I see." Rei's face pulled into a tiny grimace, then he leaned forward. "Please do not fall asleep on the train and miss your stop. Perhaps you could stand instead of sitting…" His voice trailed off. "Well. At any rate. Please email me when you arrive safely."

A surprised bark of laughter from Rin caught them both a bit off-guard. "Ha, what, are you my mom, now? I'm a grown man. I can get home just fine." Downing the rest of his tea, Rin threw his arm over the back of the couch, grinning wolfishly. "And why an email?"

Rei's eyes registered faint surprise, and Rin was stunned to see the hint of a blush rise to his cheekbones. "Oh, it's just that…" When Rei's eyes glanced around the room, then landed on the clock, understanding clicked home in Rin's brain.

"Ooooh…" Rin breathed, nodding. "You will still be here because you have someone coming after I leave. Haha, duh. Sorry about that. And because you'll still be here, it's still 'dom' time, eh? Hence the email? Well, if you're more comfortable with that, it's fine with me."

The smile Rei offered him was embarrassed and grateful and Rin absolutely refused to acknowledge it was precious. "Thank you for being so understanding. It has been years since I've attempted this sort of thing with someone I know outside of the BDSM scene. I'm… learning as I go, as well, I suppose."

"No, I get it. Seriously, it's not a problem. Shit, I probably need to scoot, don't I. It's almost ten. I don't want to accidentally bump into your next sub in the hallway or something."

Huffing indignantly, Rei stood and walked to the straps on the floor, lifting one and turning back to Rin. "There is no chance of that, I assure you. I leave plenty of time in between. All of the items we used tonight must be cleaned and cared for, and I use the time to myself for a bit of a 'reset', mentally." Rei's eyebrows raised, and a soft "oh" puffed from his lips. "Hang on. Before you go, I need to give you a few things. Feel free to get dressed."

_Dear god, that's right, I've been sitting here talking to him like everything is perfectly normal, and I'm in my damned underwear._ Even more embarrassingly, Rin realized when he had sat up, he'd pretty much ditched the blanket, so he was genuinely there, in his mostly naked glory, carrying on a conversation like they were sharing drinks in a restaurant or something. Wondering if the blood vessels in his face could handle any further humiliation, Rin dove for his clothes, glad that Rei seemed to be taking his time at the shelf while he roughly tugged everything on.

Soon enough, Rin found himself being kindly ushered out the door, a box full of ointments, creams and salves in his arm. Rei had explained each and listed their ingredients, but to Rin's relief, he had also tucked a written description into the box with them, asking Rin to test each one carefully for potential skin allergies prior to their next meet-up- _'IF you would like to meet like this again!'_ \- Rei had quickly added. Snickering softly to himself, Rin felt happy and exhausted and ready to be home, feet carrying him almost unconsciously to the station.

 

*

 

Once he had received confirmation that his last sub had gotten home safely, Rei locked his phone and dropped it to his nightstand. Snuggling into the covers, he closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift as his body prepared for sleep. _A pleasantly uneventful night, truthfully. Things went well with Rin-san, better than I'd expected. He certainly looked better when he left than he did when he arrived. Maybe this will be genuinely helpful, for him. I know I'm happy to do anything I can to assist him._ Rei kicked his foot out from underneath the comforter, tucking his leg back up. _The last sub was a bit of a handful, but she always is. We're certainly used to each other, by now. Hmm… I should plan to run to the grocery store tomorrow…_ It took him little time to fall into an easy sleep, dreams eventually taking over for to-do lists, oblivious to the enormous shift in trajectory his life had taken without his notice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Rin, easing their way into each other's lives, in various ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY COW, I DID IT. I posted a new chapter!! My apologies for how long it took me to do so! FWIW, this fic is a bit out of my comfort zone, and any and all encouragement is so very appreciated. If you are reading and enjoying it, and would like to read more, I am a VERY friendly sort, and would love to hear from you in the comments or on tumblr/twitter (bideroo/bideroobirdy) or discord at bideroo#3778.
> 
> Sometimes that little extra 'hey, thanks for writing' is all it takes. Hugs and kisses!!! <3

To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Checking In  
Message:  


My pet,

How are you feeling?  I was quite pleased with how our scene went last night, but it is important to me to ensure you feel the same, and that you are, in general, taking quality care of yourself.  While our play did not involve 'pain', per se, I know it was still intense and tiring for you, and even a day or two afterwards, can still affect you, emotionally. I hope you'll let me know if there is anything I can do for you, anything you need, or anything you disliked.  I would be happy to speak on the phone with you about this as well, if you would prefer that.

Enjoy your weekend, and I'll look forward to hearing from you.

Your Master

  
  


Rin looked up from his phone, glancing around the train.  The car he was currently in was blessedly empty, only a couple other folks scattered around, and Rin decided he could send a reply without anyone being the wiser.   _ I should have known Rei would reach out to check up on me.  Rei is meticulous enough to not skimp on something like this. _   Smiling, Rin hit 'reply'.   _ He really is a good guy.  Isuzu's right; I got really, really lucky. _

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Checking In  
Message: 

Dear Master,

Thanks for the message!  It's really cool of you to make sure I'm doing okay.  And I am. Um, maybe this is weird, but like, what about you?  You doing alright? I mean, it's a two-way street, you know? Let me know if there's anything you need from me.

I feel like kind of an ass; I never thanked you properly, last night.  I know setting all of that up and doing those things is work on your part.  So thank you, seriously. You really helped me with being nervous, and explaining everything, and just kinda… leading me through it.  I really appreciate it.

There was nothing I disliked (besides the fact that I just kept getting embarrassed.  I assume that will wear off after a while). But that wasn't your fault.

Do you make this eucalyptus balm yourself??  It smells like HEAVEN, and when I rubbed it on my shoulders last night, it felt SOOO good.

Thanks again, for last night and for taking the time to check up on me.  :)

Your pet

  
  


When Rei felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he carefully slid the book he was skimming back into its place, unobtrusively checking the aisle for other customers.  Satisfied he was appropriately 'alone', he read Rin's response.  _ Wow.  How long has it been since a sub actually asked after my wellbeing? _   Rei was quite used to performing his own 'aftercare' by this point, as it seemed to be something few subs either knew or cared to do.   _ Good grief, and he even thanked me.  My best subs do that, but I'm surprised someone brand new to the scene would think of it.   _ A huge grin stole over his features, and he allowed himself a small, surprised chuckle before replying.

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Checking In  
Message: 

My pet,

My word.  I certainly thank you for showing your gratitude, and for asking about how I am doing as well.  Those are, unfortunately, aspects of 'sub' behavior I am not used to, and I was tickled to see them in your email.  Thank YOU for taking the time.

I am glad you are well.  Do not hesitate to let me know if that changes.  Often, the 'comedown' from a play session can happen a day or two after, and I don't want you to feel like you have to weather it on your own.  I don't necessarily expect it, this time, but if we proceed to more intense play, I would want both of us on the lookout for it.

Mmm, I DO make the balm myself.  I am having to restrain myself from launching into an in-depth explanation, as it is a hobby of mine, and also something liable to get me called a 'dork' again.  I will simply say 'thank you' for the compliment. I'm glad you like it.

I mentioned this last night, but you may have been a bit zoned out (which is natural), so let me say it again.  You did extremely well. I know you were nervous/embarrassed, but I felt you worked within those emotions in a very healthy way, pushing yourself when you felt you needed to, and letting yourself feel them when it was appropriate.  Emotional response to D/s is different for everyone, and it is different every time. As long as you are happy with how the scene is progressing, and how you feel afterwards, long-term positive and affirming outcomes are likely.

Thank you for your gracious response.

Your Master

  
  


Slipping his phone back to his pocket, Rei resumed his languid browsing of the shelves, looking to pick up something new to read aloud to his early sub that night.  The man had established early on with Rei that he didn't like to be touched, so he preferred to handle his 'soothing' himself, while Rei sat nearby and quietly read to him.  Rei reached for a poetry anthology just as his phone went off again.

  
  


Rin: Hey!!  Can I give you a call?  I have a question/favor for you (it's 'normal' stuff).

Rei: Certainly.  Let me call you; I need to step outside (in a bookstore, and people don't tend to take kindly to interruptions, here).

  
  


"Hey, Rei!  Thanks for giving me a call!" Rin hollered, the sound of a train thundering in the background.

 

"Of course.  Where are you?  I can barely hear you."  Rei glanced around, a bit embarrassed at having to raise his voice, and sat himself on a nearby bench.

 

"Oh, shit, yeah, sorry, at the train station.  I'm leaving though, so it should be better in a sec.  Here, hang on." Rei waited quietly until he heard Rin sigh with relief, the ambient noise dropping to a normal level.

 

"Haha, okay, sorry about that.  So! How you been? Or well, I guess I already…  UGH. I actually called to see if you'd be interested in helping me out with something.  Totally okay to say no, or whatever, but I thought it would be worth a try." Rin's voice sounded a bit harried, and Rei found himself wondering what he was doing, or whether the subject matter itself was what had Rin wound up.

 

"You know I'm happy to help you in any way I can.  What is it? Is everything alright?"

 

Rei heard loud rustling, then a grumbled "hang on", Rin seeming to be quietly cursing at something.  Eyebrows raised, Rei opened his mouth to ask again if things were okay, but Rin finally seemed to gain control of the situation.  "Oh, OH no, it's nothing bad or anything, sorry. And I probably shouldn't have used the word 'help', with all the stuff going on with my Mom."

 

Blinking slowly, Rei waited for Rin to go on, but Rin seemed to think it was Rei's turn to speak.  Confused, Rei did so. "Oh, uh, I see. Well, whatever it is, I'd be happy to discuss it. Is… everything okay there?  You sound a bit stressed."

 

"Heh, naw, I was just wrangling my groceries.  It's hard to carry a bunch of bags and talk on the phone, so I found a place to set them down.  I probably should have waited to call you, but I was afraid I'd forget. Anyways… You ever been interested in volleyball?"

 

_ Volleyball?  That was… unexpected. _   "I always enjoyed it when we played in school, I suppose.  Why?"

 

"Really?  Oh, that's great!  Um… I play on this amateur volleyball team, and the season's about to start up again, and we're down a player and looking for someone to take his place.  Do you think that's anything you'd be intere-"

 

"Yes!" Rei interrupted, then felt his cheeks flush at his over-excitement.  Nagisa had pointed out to him- and not very kindly- a few months ago that the majority of Rei's hobbies were very… solitary, and Rei had been considering looking for a recreational softball or basketball team to join.  He would certainly relish the activity, and the socialization was an added benefit. This was even better, with an old friend on the team. "Haha, my apologies. I should probably gather a bit more information before I tell you I'm definitely in.  Would you mind giving me a few details?"

 

Chuckling at Rei's reaction, Rin took a moment to think.  "Sure, of course! Um… so we generally practice once a week.  Last season we practiced on Wednesday nights. Games are Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening.  Uh, let's see. I'd probably be the only guy you really know, but I think you've at least met a couple of the others.  It's pretty relaxed, really… Like, we just do our best and enjoy ourselves. We don't get super serious about it."

 

"I find it difficult to believe you do ANYTHING 'relaxed', Rin-san.  I don't think I've ever met a more competitive person in my life." Rei began to laugh as Rin spluttered out a few terse rebuttals before heaving a giant sigh.

 

"Yeah, okay…  I probably get a little too fired up, sometimes.  But everyone is there to have fun, and Seijuurou is pretty good at talking me down."

 

Rei leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.  "Mikoshiba Seijuurou?"

 

"The very one," Rin laughed.

 

"Ooooh…  Excellent.  Tall, energetic, kind of an unstoppable force, if I remember correctly.  Definitely a good person to have on your side of the net." Nodding approvingly, Rei found himself getting truly excited.  "I don't think I've spoken to him since college. This is beginning to sound quite enjoyable, Rin-san."

 

"What, you needed Seijuurou there to think it sounded like fun?  What about me, asshole?"

 

"Hyper-competitive munchkin," Rei murmured, giggling when Rin cursed over the line.  "But no, seriously. This sounds lovely, and I'd be happy to join you. Let me know what you need from me, and keep me updated on practice schedules and the like.  I'm afraid I have to let you go; I have some errands to finish up. Don't hesitate to reach out if there's anything I can do to help with your mother, okay?"

 

"Sounds good, man.  Thanks for being willing to give it a shot.  I'll keep you posted. Have a good day."

 

"You as well, Rin-san."  Rei ended the call and stood, stretching up onto the balls of his feet, feeling giddy.   _ How exciting!  At least one night a week, I'll have something to take my mind off my dreadful work situation.  Something to look forward to. _   He quickly fired of a message to Nagisa, knowing his friend was going to be just as excited.

  
  


*

  
  


Rin: Check this shit out.

Rin: [image sent]

Rei: What is that??

Rin: My mom's basement.

Rei: Is it a regular occurence, to have standing water?

Rin: No.  I have to clean it out, and get rid of all the stuff that got ruined.  Gou was supposed to help, but now I can't get a hold of her.

Rei: Oh no!  Do you need help?

Rin: OH, no, that's not why I sent it.  I was just complaining. *laughs* Pretty sure most of the stuff that got wet is crap my Mom hoarded from when Gou and I were kids.  Should be easy enough to clear it out. I've already got a buddy bringing a dumpster out.

Rei: That looks like a lot of work, Rin-san.  I would be more than willing to help out.

Rin: Haha, no I'm serious, it's no big deal.  Here, look at this!

Rin: [image sent]

Rei: Wow.  Are those… pink galoshes?

Rin: Damn straight they are.  Found them when I was stomping through the grocery store earlier looking for batteries for the flashlight.  And now they belong to me.

Rei: So is your buddy going to help you with the basement?

Rin: Naw, he works weekends.  Which is lucky, because that's the only reason he can bring the dumpster on a Sunday.

Rei: Rin-san.  I am coming over.  Go buy me some pink galoshes.  Now.

Rin: YOU ONLY GET TO BOSS ME AROUND IN CERTAIN VERY PARTICULAR INSTANCES AND I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMNED HELP, REI.  I've already asked Sousuke.

Rei: TOO FAR.  Please, Rin-san.  Not here. Just for that, I am completely ignoring you.  I will be purchasing my own galoshes. See you in a bit.

Rin: I'm not letting you in if you show up

Rei: You have to be the most stubborn, prideful ass I've ever had the dubious pleasure of knowing.  I will be there in 45 minutes with food and the most obnoxious galoshes I can find.

Rin: Food?

Rei: 43 minutes.

Rin: Seriously, you don't have to come over.  I really wasn't trying to get you to help. I just thought the basement full of water was kinda cool (and horrifying) and Sousuke is a goddamned tank so I'll just make him do all the hard stuff.

Rin: Rei?

Rei: 35 minutes

Rin: Okay you are starting to creep me out

Rin: DAMN IT, FINE.  Don't buy your own galoshes.  I'll go get you some. There was pink, purple, blue, and orange.  What would my liege prefer??

Rei: Surprise me.  If I don't need to stop at the store, I revise my estimate to 23 minutes.

Rin: I CAN'T GET TO THE STORE AND BACK IN 23 MINUTES YOU FREAK

Rei: 22 minutes

Rin: OH MY GOD

  
  


*

  
  


Rin felt his eyes close in frustration when he stepped into the house.  Rei, Sousuke and his mother were all arranged around the living room, chatting and laughing, and while Rin was grateful for the help, he was extraordinarily uncomfortable having Sousuke and Rei in such close proximity to each other, as if Sousuke might be able to divine through some heretofore unknown magical means exactly what Rin and Rei had been up to Friday night.

 

"Holy shit, Rin!  You didn't tell me you'd gotten back in touch with Ryuugazaki!" Sousuke hollered while Rin shuffled off his shoes and made his way to the kitchen, dropping off the industrial-sized bottle of bleach he'd thought to pick up, along with Rei's footwear.

 

"To be fair Yamazaki, it is more that I got back in touch with Rin-san.  He wasn't the one that dropped off the map for four years," Rei chuckled happily, sipping from his tea.  "That was 100% my fault." Rin let Rei's words wash over him, staring intently at the dish on the counter by the stove.

 

"What is this?" Rin croaked, stepping to it and removing the foil.

 

"What is what, you ungrateful heathen?" his mother laughed.  "Ryuugazaki-kun was kind enough to bring us a late breakfast, if that's what you're talking about."

 

Plodding resignedly back to the front room, Rin flopped down in the only open chair.  "How the hell did you have time to make a quiche? The way you had your arrival time broken down, I figured there would barely be time for you to change your underwear and throw on a pair of shoes."

 

Rei's eyes flicked to Rin's mother, then settled back onto Rin.  "I hardly think my undergarments are an appropriate topic of conversation.  But if you must know, I had just retrieved it from the oven when I got your message.  It is certainly more than I could eat by myself, so I was more than happy to bring it over to share."

 

"You make yourself a quiche for breakfast every morning?" Sousuke asked, voice light, leaning towards Rei with a grin.

 

"Certainly not," Rei huffed, placing his tea on the table.  "I make it once every two weeks, as it is a bit of an… indulgence, for me.  Every other Sunday morning is 'Quiche and Documentary' time." Eyes sparkling, he shot Rin a tiny smile before turning to his mother.  "Normally, those Sundays are spent with me puttering around my house in a pair of sweatpants doing absolutely nothing to contribute to the greater good of the world, so I was ecstatic to have the opportunity to put myself to use, today."

 

Rin felt his eyebrow twitch at the idea of Rei in nothing but sweatpants, stretched out long and lazily on a couch, chin propped up on a hand as he watched TV, but his mother's sudden intense stare shook him from his thoughts.  "Kiddo. Go pop that in the oven. Let's eat before you boys get started, okay?"

 

"I had no idea I was going to get fed," Sousuke chuckled gleefully, sipping at his own mug of tea while Rin lifted himself from the chair with a mighty, melodramatic groan.  "Thanks, Ryuugazaki. Figured I'd come slave over here for a couple hours, never get a 'thank you', and slink back home."

 

"Sousuke.  You will always have my gratitude," Rin's mother stated, casting a disgruntled glance at her son shuffling back to the kitchen.  "Does he not thank you when you help out?"

 

Sousuke leaned forward as far as he could, his eyes off to the side, following Rin's progress.  "It's not that," he murmured under his breath. "He's acting really weird, and honestly, I was just trying to get a rise out of him.  The fact that he ignored me is even weirder."

 

"STOP WHISPERING," Rin boomed from the kitchen, opening the oven door with more force than necessary.

 

Devilish grin spreading her lips, Rin's mother leaned forward as well.  "He IS acting strangely. You should have seen him when he walked in here this morning; 8 am, and he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  I would have sworn he'd… Well, he was abnormally happy. And now he's-"

 

"I SAID TO QUIT WITH THE WHISPERING, GOD," Rin yelled indignantly, stomping back into the living room.

 

Suddenly standing, Rei flashed them all a bright, if strained, smile.  "Well. Rin-san, your mother mentioned there was some furniture in the back bedroom she would like to dispose of, while you have the dumpster.  Yamazaki? Would you care to help me out?"

 

Rin caught himself halfway to settling back into the chair, pushing himself back up.  "I can take care of it. You guys don't need to-"

 

"Nonsense.  Sit and spend time with your mother," Rei quietly murmured, and Rin found himself sinking back to the chair before his mind could catch up with his body.  Turning to Rin's mother, Rei tilted his head. "Matsuoka-san? You said it was an old wooden desk and chair? And a blue armchair?"

 

Her eyes slowly widening, she drug her gaze from her son to Rei's face.  "That would be incredibly helpful, Ryuugazaki-kun," she breathed.

 

"Please, just call me Rei," he offered, smiling and moving his eyes to Sousuke, who was already heading his direction.  "Shall we?"

 

Nodding curtly, Sousuke breezed past Rei into the hallway.  "We can get this done before the timer goes off, I bet. I'm starving."

 

The two headed to the back of the house, and Rin pulled his eyes from them to land on his mother, who was doing her best to bore holes into Rin's skull.  "Rin? Is that… Are you two dating?"

 

Dropping his chin to his chest theatrically, he snickered and shook his head.  "No, Mom. He's a buddy from high school, and we reconnected recently."

 

"You're not dating," she murmured quietly to herself, tilting forward to look down the hall.  "He's… very kind."

 

Rin nodded his agreement, darting a glance down the hallway.  "Yeah, he's pretty much an all-around great person. It's been really nice to get to talk to him, again."

 

Rin's mother lifted her mug to her lips, taking a tiny sip, then looked back to her son, her mouth twitching into a grin.  "He's so handsome," she whispered, a tiny giggle escaping her throat. "When Sousuke brought him in, I'm pretty sure I stammered.  And blushed. Like a school-girl."

 

Throwing back his head, Rin cackled, lifting his hands to his face.  When he managed to stop laughing, he shot a wicked grin at his mother.  "That's adorable, Mom. Oh my god…" He leaned forward for a drink of his own, then sat back, eyes sparkling.  "You've been single for a while, you know…"

 

He was expecting the slap to his knee, and he giggled gleefully as she began to laugh as well.  "Rin. You are such a pain in your mother's butt," she eventually managed. "I'm much more interested in how he could help with YOU being single for so long."

 

Taking in his mother's playful gaze, Rin shook his head with a small smile.  "I'm really sorry to disappoint you, Mom, but that's not what's going o-"

 

"YAMAZAKI, please, watch the wall.  Here, let me… Okay. Better?" Rei's voice cut off Rin's words, and the Matsuokas turned to watch as Rei and Sousuke made their way down the hall with an enormous upholstered chair. 

 

Sousuke shot an ornery grin at the two seated in the living room.  "This is a recliner! It's heavy as hell! How did you think you were going to drag this crap out of here on your own, Rin?" Sousuke gasped, trying not to laugh.

 

"Rei seems to be handling it just fine," Rin teased, noticing Sousuke seemed to be having a much harder time.

 

Rei's eyes flew wide, halting their movement.  "Yamazaki, if you are taking more of the weight than me, we can certainl-"

 

"No, no I'm pretty sure you have the heaviest part," Sousuke chuckled, tugging enough to get Rei moving again.  "I think Rin is just horrified to realize I am not the greek god I used to be back in high school. That, or perhaps you are some sort of mythological miracle.  I genuinely think you could have carried this outside by yourself."

 

"That is patently untrue!" Rei rasped, fingers rearranging themselves under the bottom of the chair.  "Clearly, it took two of us to maneuver this out of the doorw…" Rei's voice trailed off as they moved outside, and when Rin finally swung his gaze back to his mom, she had one eyebrow raised.

 

"You were watching him.  You're attracted to him, aren't you."

 

"MOM."

 

"He is drop-dead gorgeous.  And kind. And intelligent. AND HE COOKS."  Her tone was absolutely triumphant, and Rin felt his lips pull slightly from his gritted teeth.   _ How do I explain to her that he is just completely uninteresting in that way, to me?  I feel like I'm doing something wrong, somehow. _

 

Rubbing roughly at his cheeks, Rin felt his eyes slide closed.  "Mom. I don't automatically want to date every attractive man I see.  Please… Just let it go, okay? He's a friend of mine."

 

"Right, yes, that is often how these things start.  If you can't respect a person as a friend, how are you ever supposed to connect with them as more?  Maybe you've been going about this the wrong way, kiddo." Her voice was soft, and when Rin looked up, he was surprised to see her brows furrowed in concern.

 

"Mom…  He's just…  I've known him for too long to think he's, you know, attractive 'in that way'."  Rin felt his cheeks heating up, wondering how and why the conversation had taken such an awkward turn.  Eyes suddenly flashing, he snapped his gaze to hers.  _ Here, this is how I can get her to stop with this. _   "I have no reason to think he dates men, Mom."

 

"I see."  She leaned herself back against the couch, plucking absentmindedly at her blanket.  "Have you asked him?"

 

With a heavy sigh, Rin stood from his chair, roughly yanking the hair out of his face.  "NO, Mom, Jesus. Why would I? It's none of my business who he dates. Probably like… supermodels, or something.  I mean, look at the guy! I bet he makes more than ten million yen a year. He plans out his meals weeks in advance and publishes papers in fancy science journals and donates to charities and wears suits to work every day and thinks nothing of dropping five thousand yen on a frickin' APPETIZER."  He ignored the curiously surprised expression on his mother's face and continued. "Please. Please, Mom. I mean, I get it, okay? I understand why he's interesting, to you. But I REALLY don't want to talk about this anymore." Feeling somehow more awkward than he did before his little speech, Rin headed down the hall, closing himself off into the bathroom.

  
  


Rin: You got a minute?

Isuzu: Sure!  What's up?

Rin: So Rei is at my mom's house, moving furniture and having perfect manners and even showed up with a quiche he made, and now my mom is probably in love with him and won't shut up about how I should be dating him and Sousuke is gonna ditch me to be Rei's new best friend and I just feel really awkward?  Like, he saw me pretty much naked less than 48 hours ago.

Isuzu: Well punkin, I mean, you knew this was going to be awkward, at first.  How's he handling it?

Rin: I don't think it's bothering him at all

Rin: He's perfect

Rin: But I'm freaking out.

Isuzu: Gotcha.  Well, at least you BOTH aren't awkward.  That would surely set off alarm bells.

Isuzu: And I know this probably isn't what you are wanting to hear right now, but I'd be doing the same thing, if I was your mom.  HE COOKED FOR YOU?? *passes out* I think I'm falling in love with the guy, and I haven't even seen him in years.

Rin: You are definitely not helping.

Isuzu: Sorry, bubba.  *winks* Okay, so… Just…  If Rei is being cool, you can do it, too.  Just forget about Friday night, and do whatever it is you are going to do.  Why is he there?

Rin: He insisted on coming over to help with the water in my mom's basement

Isuzu: SQUEEEEE oh my god seriously I'm in love

Isuzu: Riiiiin…  

Rin: I shouldn't have contacted you.  You're making me feel worse.

Isuzu: No, you're right, I'm sorry.  So… How, exactly, am I supposed to be making you feel better?

Rin: I don't know.  Just like… tell me I'm being dumb about all this or something.

Isuzu: You are, most definitely, being dumb about all of this.  Rei is just being a good friend. Your mother likes him because he's likable.  And I don't really know Sousuke, but I'm sure he feels the same way. Probably glad to see you have such a kind friend.

Rin: He won't stop complimenting him in these weird ways

Isuzu: Who?

Rin: Sousuke.  Towards Rei.

Isuzu: O-HO, REALLY.  Hmm. Is he flirting?

Rin: Sousuke is as straight as they come.

Isuzu: Well, what is he saying, exactly?

Rin: I don't know, like…  I guess he hasn't really said that much.  They're just getting along really well, and I'm not used to Sousuke warming up to people that fast.

Isuzu: Well, he knew him from before as well, right?

Rin: Huh.  Yeah. Duh.  How did I forget that?

Isuzu: You're just wound up a bit.  Relax, and go get your shit done for your mother.

Rin: I know, I know.  I guess it's like, having Rei around makes me kinda feel shitty about myself, or something.  Like, he's smart and polite and talented and generous, and it kinda makes me feel like a troll.

Isuzu: Oh honey.  You are not a troll.  You are smart, sweet, thoughtful, dedicated, a tireless worker, a good friend, a wonderful older brother, a loving son, and a breathstoppingly gorgeous physical specimen.  No lie.

Isuzu: Sei has said he'd bang you, before, I'd remind you.  In case you are worried you aren't attractive to men.

Rin: THAT IS IT.  I HATE YOU, I HATE THIS CONVERSATION, I CAN NEVER UNKNOW THAT, AND I WANT TO THROW MYSELF FROM A BRIDGE

Isuzu: Wait…  Didn't you already know?  He said he asked you out, but you turned him down.

Rin: Seijuurou?

Isuzu: Yes!  Who else?

Rin: When did he ever ask me out?  I think you are both crazy.

Isuzu: He said it was after your last volleyball game.

Rin: He never

Rin: OH MY GOD

Rin: I had no idea

Rin: I completely misread…  Well.

Isuzu: HAHAHAHAHAHAAA oh my god.  I bet he was all dorky and nervous and flushy-cheeked, and you were just COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS, YOU DUMBASS

Rin: He… was.  I remember thinking something was wrong.

Rin: Oh no…  I feel terrible now.  And also how the hell am I supposed to be around him, now?

Isuzu: Uh?  I mean, you just… hang around him like normal?  You guys seemed fine to me when we all ate dinner together.

Rin: YEAH BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN

Isuzu: Well, he obviously won't be the one making it weird, if it gets weird.  So don't make it weird. OOOOH, UNLESS YOU WANT TO DATE HIM!!!

Rin: Isuzu, no offense, but I do not.  It's probably better this way.

Isuzu: Yikes.  Okay.  

Rin: Okay, well now I feel like a total shit.  I mean, he's really attractive, and I like how he gets along with everyone and stuff, I just don't…  He's a little too 'in your face', most of the time. AND MUCH LIKE YOU, he doesn't seem to know when to keep his mouth shut.

Isuzu: Fair, fair.  *giggles* We definitely come by it honestly.  You should meet our father.

Rin: Well.  I will admit you have successfully gotten my mind off of whatever the hell is going on with Rei.

Rin: Though I feel no better.

Rin: God, do you think I should apologize?

Isuzu: To Rei?  For what?

Rin: NO.  To your dumbass brother.  I feel really bad.

Isuzu: Okay, no.  That's really sweet of you, and I know you are just trying to be kind, but he already knows he's been turned down, so… no need to reopen that wound, you know?

Rin: Huh.  I kinda wondered why I hadn't heard from him.  We normally see quite a bit of each other. I guess this makes more sense, now.

Isuzu: Yeah.  He needed a little space.

Rin: I guess I can underst

  
  


Rin jumped at the sudden pounding at the bathroom door, nearly tossing his phone into the sink.  "Dude, what the hell are you doing in there? I can only stay for another hour… We've been sitting in the living room devouring that quiche for the last 20 minutes.  The only reason there is any left for you at all is because Rei physically restrained me."  

 

_ Oh, so he's 'Rei' now, Sousuke?  _ Rin thought petulantly.  

 

"Are you dead?" Sousuke finally mumbled, sounding genuinely worried.

 

"I'm not…"  Rin slammed his phone into his pocket, flipping on the tap to wash his hands, stunned he'd been hiding for so long without realizing it.  "I'm not dead. I'll be right out. I'm… I'm sorry, Sousuke," he grated out, cheeks flushing.

 

After a moment of quiet, Rin scrubbing roughly through the suds, Sousuke spoke again, voice pitched so only Rin could hear.  "Are you okay? You've been… a little weird."

 

Rin's head fell back, an enormous sigh shuddering through his body, and opened the door.  "Get in here."

 

"Wha-"  Rin yanked Sousuke's arm, cutting off his question, and slammed the door behind him.  "Look. I just feel really… out of it, right now. And Mom won't shut up about Rei, and it's making me uncomfortable."

 

"What do you mean, won't shut up?  You've been…" Sousuke's eyes wandered around the room before landing on Rin.  "Have you been hiding in here?"

 

Rin didn't dignify him with a reply, drying his hands and avoiding his gaze.

 

"Okay, seriously, you're kinda freaking me out, man.  What's going on?" Sousuke asked, leaning down so their eyes could meet.  "Why would you give a shit if your Mom talks… OH." Eyes widening, Sousuke took a step back, bracing himself with a hand on the counter.  "I mean…" he eventually continued, "Isn't it normal she would want to talk to you about him? I know you tend to be really… private, about stuff like this, but she has every right to be curious about the guy you're dating."

 

"WE'RE NOT FUCKING DATING," Rin hissed, slamming a hand to the counter.  "Why does everybody think we're dating? God DAMN. That's what Mom won't shut up about.  I guess she thinks I should lay myself out on a platter for his taking, or something. The guy isn't even gay.  And it's REI." Snorting humorlessly, Rin tried to push his way past his friend to leave the bathroom, but Sousuke moved just enough to block him.  "What??" Rin rasped, trying to shove him out of the way.

 

Sousuke's expression was deadly serious, and though he made no move to speak, he kicked his foot against the door, preventing Rin's escape.  The two stood in silence, Rin glaring and Sousuke watching, for what seemed like eternity before Sousuke finally opened his mouth. "Fine," he murmured.  "I apologize for making the assumption. You aren't dating. But I legitimately can't think of another reason you'd be acting like such a weirdo, so please feel free to explain.  You were on cloud nine until you got back from the store. Which coincides neatly with when Rei showed up. As it stands, you just seem like an asshole who can't even muster the gumption to look grateful when someone is helping him out."

 

"I told him not to come," Rin pushed through gritted teeth.

 

"Do you want me to ask him to leave?"

 

"No."

 

Sousuke let loose with what had to be the most long-suffering sigh Rin had ever witnessed.  "Okaaaay… Then what DO you want? If you can't wipe that crap-ass pout off your face and go be thankful someone on the earth hasn't already gotten so tired of your shit that they refuse to be near you, I'll kick YOUR ass out, and Rei and I will handle the basement.  You are being a prick."

 

When Sousuke fell silent, they heard laughter muffled through the walls, Rin's mother's voice singing with glee as she proclaimed "You didn't!" to Rei's lower, rumbly chuckles.

 

As their eyes locked, Sousuke's lip turned up.  "You could do a lot worse. He clearly already has your mother's approval."

 

Drained of the will to fight, Rin shook his head and yanked the door, making enough racket that Sousuke let him go.

  
  


*

  
  


"Holy shit," Rin breathed, leaning heavily on the mop handle.  "This was god-awful. Thank you for coming over; this would have taken me days, by myself."

 

Rei looked up from where he was crouched, scrubbing the legs of the shelf with bleach.  "It was no problem, truly. Please know you can contact me at any time and I'll do my best to help."  Standing slowly, he ditched his gloves, pressing his hands into his lower back and stretching. "Were you able to determine why the water was here in the first place?  It would be frustrating to do all of this work only to have it happen again."

 

"I got a guy coming to look at the foundation tomorrow," Rin yawned, mop handle clattering to the floor as he reached his arms over his head.  "Good god, I am exhausted." Grabbing the mop, he shuffled across the room and tossed it into the closet. "Let me feed you; I bet you're starving, after all of this."

 

"Oh, it's fine," Rei chirped, entirely too cheerful in Rin's opinion.  "I should be getting back, anyhow. I have a date with a documentary."

 

Rin guffawed, snagging the gloves from the ground.  "Nerd."

 

"Without a doubt," Rei chuckled in reply.  Giving the basement a final looking-over, Rei headed to the stairs.  "Okay, then. I will pay my respects to your mother, and get out of your hair."

 

"Oh, right."  Rin shuffled his feet a bit, the galoshes squeaking on the concrete.  "Hey um… You wanna set up another time to uh… meet up?"

 

Rei turned his head, staring quietly for a moment at Rin, who refused to meet his gaze.  "If I am understanding your meaning correctly…" he finally murmured, "you know how to get a hold of me."  Voice soft, Rei raised his hand in a small wave. "Have a good evening, Rin-san."

 

"Yeah…  You, too."  Rin watched until the very last of Rei he could see disappeared up the stairs, only turning to gather the remaining cleaning supplies when, a couple minutes later, he heard the front door open and close.

  
  


*

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

Yo, Master.

Let me know what your schedule's like.  I think you are the one with more constraints.

So…  Pain play, this time?

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re:Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

My pet,

My schedule is actually a bit insane, for the next month or so.  If you wanted, we could try a Saturday afternoon, prior to my first appointment.  So, not this coming Saturday, but the one after, from 1-3 pm? OH! And this reminds me.  Our mutual blond friend knows what weekends I see subs, so if you would like to avoid further awkward conversations with him in the future, I would recommend not telling him when we get together.

Any sort of play you are comfortable with is fine, within the scope of our contract.  It is entirely up to you.

Thank you,

Your Master

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re:Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

Master,

Heh.  Suddenly that weird ass phone conversation I had with him makes a lot more sense.  And WOW HE KNOWS YOU ARE A DOM??? I don't know why I'm surprised, but holy shit I'm surprised!

Saturday at 1 is fine…  Why only two hours, this time?  (and hey, like, if you don't have time, you don't have to 'make' the time.  Now I feel bad.)

Okay, cool.  I'll do some thinking on it.  I'm kinda eager to get it over with, honestly.  I'm tired of being scared of it, just because it's an 'unknown', or whatever.

You're missing out, btw…  I made my mom and I some DELICIOUS omurice.

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re:Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

My pet,

Yes, he has known from the beginning.  He was a mutual friend of the person that got me into BDSM in the first place.  You should have seen THAT text conversation, when you told him we were getting together Friday.  Luckily, I managed to avoid any trouble.

Sessions are normally two hours.  I gave us an extra hour for your first time.  And to be perfectly frank with you, if I only slotted you in when I had room, it would be another two months.  The only reason I was able to see you this Friday was because of a cancellation. And do not worry; you seem to forget that I get something out of this, as well.  I do not dom out of the goodness of my heart.

I will be prepared for whatever you decide.  No need to let me know beforehand.

Omurice?  Good grief.  Are you 12? :)  Did you write your name on it with ketchup?

Your Master

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re:Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

Master,

You can kindly go to hell.  My omurice is the best in all of Japan.  And I drew my mother a cat, if you must know.

I'll plan on next Saturday, then.  Thanks, seriously. And thanks again for today.

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re:Meetup Numero Dos  
Message: 

My pet,

A cat?  Pictures or it didn't happen.

And you are quite welcome, on both counts.

Your Master

  
  


*

  
  


"So…" Rei began, flipping a page of Rin's contract.  "What did you decide? Please speak freely."

 

Darting a glance to the desk where Rei sat, casually reading Rin's paperwork, Rin pulled in a deep breath.  "Right. I think I want you to uh… Maybe we could just start out with like, your hands? And if I seem to be handling it well, we could try like… a flogger?  Th-thuddy, not 'sting'y."

 

"That's fine," Rei responded, not missing a beat.  "You realize this will require you to remove all of your clothing."

 

Rin swallowed, with difficulty.  "Yeah."

 

"Restraints?"

 

"I want…  I don't… Just a blindfold."

 

Rei hummed, pursing his lips.  "If you move without my permission, you will be punished."

 

Rin let his eyes steal across the room again, Rei's back to him.  "I understand."

 

"Very well, then.  Are you ready to begin?"  Rei turned his head to Rin, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.

 

Rin let his eyes fall closed.  "Master, yes."

 

"Tell me your safeword."

 

"Master, butterfly."

 

"Stand in the center of the room and take off your clothes."  Rei stood, walking to the shelf as Rin shuffled from the couch to the middle of the floor.  Rin watched as Rei pulled on his gloves, grabbing a wide black cloth, then leaned back with an elbow on the top shelf.  Rin found himself surprised yet again at how smoothly Rei could transition to this other 'persona', the look on his face almost bored as they stared each other down.  "Was there something you did not understand about my instructions?" Rei eventually asked, Rin seemingly frozen.

 

"OH!  I- M-master, no!" Rin nearly yelled, his cheeks burning as he yanked his shirt over his head.

 

"Then hurry up."

 

Rin didn't bother to respond, shucking out of his pants and socks as quickly as he could.  When he was left with nothing but his briefs, there was a moment's hesitation, a grimace lifting his lips from his teeth, before he tugged those off as well, tossing them aside.   _ Holy shit I am actually doing this…  We are actually DOING THIS. _   His eyes shot to Rei, who was openly staring at him, one corner of his mouth curled in an almost predatory smirk.

 

"Hands and knees."  Rin dropped immediately, glad for the feeling of being less exposed as Rei strode to him, yanking his head back with a fist in his hair.  "Very good. Hold still."

 

As soon as the blindfold was in place, Rin wondered if he'd made a mistake, the sounds of Rei moving around the room and the soft scraping of the hangers on the rack making his muscles tense in nervous apprehension.  "What a lovely ass," Rei murmured, his voice somewhere over Rin's left shoulder, and Rin's eyes flew open behind the cloth, mouth falling open. "I can't wait to ruin it."

 

_ OH SHIT.  Oh shit… I cannot believe I just heard…  no no NO this is not Rei, I am not Rin, we are acting… _   "M-master, thank you," Rin managed to squeak out, his limbs now obviously shaking with fear.

 

"You are so welcome," Rei purred, Rin jerking sharply as something began to drag lightly down his back.  "Are you afraid, my pet?"

 

Rin had to take a couple of breaths before he could convince his throat to respond.  "Master… yes."

 

"There is nothing to be afraid of.  I fully intend to take care of you," Rei murmured, and Rin realized the touch on his back had been Rei's finger when Rei's hand flattened and slid to his waist.  "I will begin with some exploratory touches; poking, pinching, scratching. All things you have consented to in your contract. My goal is to determine your level of sensitivity.  Nod if this is acceptable."

 

Rin bit down on the curse trying to fight its way from his mouth, snapping his head up and down.   _ Oh fuck.  Oh god. I'm already getting hard. _

 

"You're doing so well," Rei whispered, pulling his hand over Rin's back in a barely-there touch before dragging roughly down his spine, the pressure hard enough Rin's back bowed away from it instinctively.  Rei ignored Rin's sharp intake of breath, humming thoughtfully and removing his hand. "Oooh, your skin marks up so beautifully."

 

Rin had no real time to process this before he barked out a surprised cry, Rei's gloved fingers pinching the skin of his lower back.  "Still doing okay, my pet?" Rin nodded mutely, and after that, Rei's hands seemed to be everywhere, brutal touches varied with gentle caresses, no discernible rhythm or pace to it, and it hurt, it hurt so much, but Rin could tell his body was responding as he expected.  He barely noticed the noises he was making, his head beginning to feel a bit 'floofy', like someone was slowly but surely stuffing it with cotton. The touches subsided, and Rin became aware of the soft, mumbled praises Rei was offering him, telling him he was so pretty, that he was a good boy, that he was behaving so well.  

 

Cheeks flushing with embarrassment, Rin realized he was, by now, fully hard, and each little phrase sent a jolt of arousal through him.   _ Oh holy shit, holy shit this feels- _   "GGAH!" Rin screamed when Rei's hand snapped HARD on his ass.  "Oh fuck," he whimpered, and heard Rei softly chuckle in reply.  Fingertips grazed over his shoulder blades, down his sides and around to his ass, the sensation somewhere maddeningly between soothing and ticklish.

 

"Still okay?" Rei breathed into Rin's ear, pulling an involuntary (and mortifying) groan from Rin's chest.

 

"Master, more please," Rin choked out, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could behind the blindfold.

 

Rin heard Rei shuffle behind him, a soft "Oh… very nice," cooed in that steely, velvety voice, and then Rin's awareness blanked on everything except the pain, blows landing all over his ass and the back of his thighs, shoulders, hips, unhearing of the harsh wails leaving his own lips, much less anything Rei may or may not have been saying.  It could have lasted for 30 seconds or 5 hours, Rin had no idea, suspended in some sort of daze where his conscious mind shut off.

 

His head felt muffled somehow, floaty, and it took him several moments before he realized the sensations had stopped, that Rei was no longer touching him.  _  Wait…  What's happening?  Where did he go? Did he leave me alone in here? _   A soft whine vibrated deep in his chest and Rei immediately responded, hand dropping gently to his shoulder.

 

"I'm right here, my pet.  I was simply grabbing a glass of water from the desk," Rei said softly.  "Your voice was beginning to concern me. Would you like a drink? There is a straw."

 

"Master, yes," Rin croaked, and realized exactly why Rei had been worried, his angry throat clenching in protest.  He felt the straw push against his bottom lip and wasted no time pulling several eager gulps from it before letting it go.  Now that his attention was pulled back to the room, he was able to hear Rei moving back to the desk.

 

"Better?" Rei inquired, stepping back to Rin to pat him on the head before returning to his position behind Rin's legs.

 

"Mmm," Rin experimented, finding it was at least marginally easier to make sound.  "Master, yes, thank you."

 

"And how are you feeling?"

 

Rin paused a moment at that, taking stock of the sensations still coursing through his body.  "Master… I feel pretty damned good," he muttered, a tiny laugh escaping his lips.

 

"You are doing very well, my pet.  We have a bit more time, if you would like to try the flogger, or we could stop here, for today."  Rin startled slightly when Rei's hand swept over his back. "Though, based on the appearance of your skin, I believe I'd recommend we stop."

 

_ Dear god, what has he done to me? _ Rin thought absently, still feeling a bit out of it.  "M-master, that's fine."

 

Rei's hands were immediately at the back of Rin's head, untying the cloth and pulling it away, and it wasn't until he did so that Rin realized it was soaked through with his tears. "Keep your eyes closed for a while," Rei whispered, Rin registering his suggestion with a weak nod.

 

_ What the…  I didn't even know I was crying? _   Rin pondered this as he felt a blanket draped over his back, and then Rei was carrying him to the couch.

 

"I'm going to lay you on your stomach, alright?" Rei rumbled, Rin feeling his shoulders relax at the soothing sound.

 

"R-right, okay," he managed, just barely, feeling boneless and helpless and exhausted.  Rei arranged him carefully, turning his head to the side when Rin didn't offer to move his own face from the cushion.  With great effort, Rin pried an eye open when he heard a strange sound, Rei slowly swimming into focus as he tugged on a pair of latex gloves.   _ He looks like a doctor or something, _ Rin's addled mind offered up, a few tiny giggles pushing their way from his chest.   _ Maybe he's gonna examine my prostate. _   The giggles erupted into full-on guffaws, and Rei turned his head, a smile on his face as he gazed at Rin over his shoulder.

 

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, over there," Rei chuckled, bending down to grab a jar before striding quickly back to the couch.  "You were amazing today. You did so incredibly well, my pet."

 

"Mm," Rin breathed, his brief bout of laughter sapping what little strength he had left.  He lasted about 30 seconds into Rei carefully smoothing something cooling and magnificently fragrant over the skin of his thighs before his brain tapped out, falling into a deep sleep.

 

Rin felt fingers stroking gently through his hair, mind groggily noting someone had been speaking to him, and his eyes flew open to find Rei knelt by the side of the couch, a soft smile on his lips.  "Hey, there you are," Rei whispered, leaning out of Rin's line of sight before straightening back up with a glass. "You've been asleep for a while," he continued, standing and holding out a hand. "Can you sit up?"

 

"I'm sure I can frickin'..." Rin muttered, suddenly embarrassed for no reason he could ascertain, and ignored Rei's hand, shoving himself up and flopping against the back of the couch.  A surge of pride in being able to handle himself quickly guttered out into humiliation, registering he was now splayed out completely nude, the blanket behind him. Before he could even twitch a finger, Rei had it tugged back over him, offering him the glass.

 

"Orange juice," Rei supplied helpfully, though it was obvious to both of them what it was.

 

Rin blinked slowly, doing his best to ignore the heat in his face, and reached out to take it.  "Thanks," he mumbled, downing half of it in one go.

 

As soon as the glass was out of his hand, Rei lithely dropped back to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of Rin.  He waited for Rin to finish his drink before he reached out, tugging on Rin's ankle until he had his foot in his lap. "How are you feeling?" Rei murmured, pushing well-practiced, gloved fingers into Rin's arch.

 

"R-Rei!" Rin sputtered, attempting to yank his leg back.  "You don't have to-"

 

"Who is Rei?" Rei uttered, head tilted as if in genuine curiosity, but his voice was hard, despite continuing the massage.

 

Rin gritted his teeth, his eyes falling from Rei's face to his hands, slowly working Rin's foot over.  "Sorry," he finally grunted out, a tiny moan puffing from his nose as Rei hit a particularly good spot.  "You just… You don't have to do this."

 

Rei's smile was back in an instant, a conspiratorial laugh bubbling from his chest.  "I don't have to do any of this, really," he responded, working his way up Rin's calf.

 

Rin found himself still too groggy to argue, instead finishing off his juice and letting his head fall back to the couch.  When Rei moved his hands to Rin's other foot, Rin let his eyes close, sighing. "You're really good at this," he breathed.

 

"Mm, thank you," Rei laughed, finding Rin's sorest spots like magic, kneading into them until they were gone.  "You never answered me. Are you feeling okay?"

 

"I feel amazing," Rin chuckled, flexing his toes in Rei's grasp.  "Where'd you learn how to do this?"

 

"Hmm.  I suppose I know what feels good to me.  And perhaps I have a bit of natural aptitude for it."

 

A wide grin splitting his face, Rin raked his fingers through his own hair, shaking his head.  "You're just good at everything you do, huh?"

 

Rin's eyes flew open at Rei's derisive snort, jerking his head up to meet his gaze.  "I believe you know, better than anyone, that THAT is a complete falsehood. I'm not certain I'd have ever learned to swim anything other than butterfly if it had not been for you."

 

Both laughing cheerfully, Rei quickly stood, stretching his arms as high as they'd go, fingertips brushing the curtains on the ceiling.  "Well, my pet. Are you hungry? It's about time for you to go, but I can certainly send you home with some snacks. Honestly, I normally would have woken you sooner so you could eat, but you looked so peaceful."

 

Rin's eyes darted to the clock before returning to Rei, something strange twanging in his chest.   _ Right.  He has someone coming after this.  I'd better wrap this up. _   "You don't have to feed me, R- uh, Master.  I think you've done enough." 

 

"Nonsense!  I was starving, and ate a little something while you were asleep.  I can imagine you are just as hungry!" Rei exclaimed, darting for the door.  "Get dressed; I'll be right back!"

 

"You don't have to-" Rin started, but Rei was already gone.  Rin huffed, half annoyed and half entertained, rising quickly to re-clothe himself before Rei could return.  When Rei walked back into the room with a brown paper sack and began listing off everything inside, Rin couldn't stop the loud guffaws ringing from his chest.  "Oh my… Oh my god, R- fuck. Oh shit, you are hilarious. Are you my mom or something??"

 

Rei's face displayed both surprise and hurt, mouth hanging open and brows wrinkled.  Rin immediately felt terrible, knowing Rei was only being his kind and overly concerned self, and had opened his mouth to apologize when he saw the grin finally crack through Rei's strictly controlled facade.  "You son of a..." Rin whispered, setting Rei off into hysterical giggles. "I genuinely thought I'd hurt your feelings!"

 

"Y-yes, of course, you are the first person ever in my… my life to accuse me of being motherly," Rei wheezed, eyes squeezed shut.  "Now take the damned snacks and go, you ungrateful brute."

 

Rin was cackling too at this point, snagging the bag and pawing through it.  "You mentioned dried fruit?" Rin found what he was looking for, grabbing it and holding it above his head in victory.  "Keep your stupid granola bars! And your… are these homemade cookies? JESUS, dude!" Rin was doubled over at this point, laughing so hard tears sprung to his eyes.  "Oh… Oh shit… You'll make a lovely wife for someone someday, man."

 

"I'll thank you kindly to shut up," Rei tittered, refusing to take the bag back.  "Now get out of here, I have things to do."

 

"What, like dust the figurines and iron your petticoats?"

 

"So sexist!" Rei hissed, trying and failing to stop laughing.

 

"Not my fault you have figurines and petticoats."  Rin pushed past Rei, heading down the hall. He was tugging on his shoes before Rei caught up, still snickering to himself, when Rei spoke.

 

"I suppose I do have what one might consider 'figurines', though I highly doubt they are what you are envisioning.  And there is not a single soul on this earth other than me that could prove or disprove whether or not I own a petticoat."

 

Rin's laughter abruptly stopped, and he slowly turned to look at the man standing in the middle of the room.  Rei had one eyebrow raised playfully, lips held rigid in the world's tiniest smile. "The fuck…" Rin breathed.

 

"Have a good afternoon, my pet," Rei chirped, and Rin found himself pushed unceremoniously out the door.

  
  


*

  
  


Rin: Made it home safe

Rin: Oh I was probably supposed to email you

Rin: My bad

Rin: My mom loved the cookies.

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: You are a rude, ungrateful monster  
Message: 

My pet,

 

My apologies for getting back to you so late.  I was so caught up in painting my toenails and putting my hair in rollers that I didn't notice the time.

I'm glad SOMEONE enjoyed the cookies.

I found a slip of paper with an address and a date/time…  perhaps a note about a doctor's appointment? Does it belong to you?

Thank you,

Your Master

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: You are a rude, ungrateful monster  
Message: 

I know you're messing around, but I seriously forgot to say thank you AGAIN.  Crap. Thank you. I… really enjoyed that.

You already knew I don't do cookies, dumbass.  Don't act so offended.

Oh shit!  Yeah, can you send me a pic of it?  It's for my mom's doc appt on Tuesday.  Sorry about that!

Thanks again, and have a good night.

Your pet

P.S. Mom wants your recipe.  Maybe you two could paint each OTHER'S toenails.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Rin grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER. *pats self on back*
> 
> Holy cow is this some SLOW BURN TORTURE... I hope you all enjoy reading. This chap might provide a bit of insight into our mysterious (thus far) dom.
> 
> SCREEE WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS, IT'S MY FAVORITE THING! <3

"You know you don't have to bribe me with food just to get my help," Rin murmured through a bite of sausage, swirling the bite waiting on his fork through his egg yolk.

 

Gou didn't even look at him as she replied, smiling and shrugging her shoulders.  "I know. Maybe I just wanted to have a leisurely Sunday breakfast with my big bro."  Stabbing a potato, she flicked sparkling eyes to him, popping it into her mouth.

 

"I'll never say no to breakfast.  You've always made a mean sunny-side up egg," Rin laughed, holding up his hand for a 'high five'.  Gou rolled her eyes but indulged him, letting out a soft laugh as he continued. "So how's work been?"

 

"You know?" she chirped, quickly swallowing.  "It's been pretty good! I was afraid there was going to be some backlash on my team, with everyone having to adjust to me as their 'boss' rather than their 'coworker', but folks have been awesome about it.  It's a huge relief, honestly." She leaned her fork towards Rin, genuine smile warming her face. "What about you? How are things?"

 

Rin nodded, finishing his bite and waving his hand in a 'right, right' gesture.  "Pretty good! I mean, work is the same or whatever, but… Yeah. Things are good, I guess."

 

"I'm a little disappointed…  You haven't told me any 'Jason' stories lately!" she cackled, leaning back in her chair.  "But I'm glad things are going better, Rin. You've seemed… a lot happier, the past couple weeks."

 

"Oh man, Jason…" Rin groaned, setting Gou off into giggles.  "It's weird but… He's actually been pretty cool, lately? Maybe he's just chilling out, getting used to the job, or something.  I think he's only wrangled me into a couple 'anime discussions' in the past week or so. A marked improvement."

 

"Maybe for you, but I miss your almost daily 'you will never believe what this guy just did' stories!"

 

Rin's phone buzzed in his pocket as he laughed, lazily pulling it out before looking back to his sister.  "He's a really nice guy, just… over-enthusiastic. Now that he's gotten past his 'everyone that works here is terminally stupid' phase, he's a lot easier to be around.  Hang on just a sec." Rin looked down at his phone and snorted.

  
  


Sousuke: A woman on my tour just leashed her child to me.  Literally. There is a leash around his waist, and the other end is strapped around mine.  Is… this a thing? Who is she actually trying to keep track of?

Rin: HAHAHAHAA OH MY GOD

Rin: send me a pic

Sousuke: How the hell am I supposed to do that??  If I could have figured it out, I would have just sent a pic instead of telling you.

Rin: Have her take the pic

Sousuke: ???  That is utterly stupid.

  
  


"Sorry, Gou.  Sousuke's being a dumbass, again."

 

"Oh?  How so?"  Gou's eyes were solidly on her remaining potatoes, so she missed Rin shaking his head, a fond smile on his face.

 

"He's whining about his job.  I guess he's babysitting today, on his tour.  Some gal went and tied her kid-" His voice cut off when his phone buzzed again.  He immediately retrieved it and his eyes bugged out, guffaws ripping from his chest.  "Oh my GOD, Gou, check this out!!"

 

Holding the phone so she could see, Rin continued to laugh as Gou took in a beaming Sousuke, holding up a peace sign, and a tiny child hugging on to his leg, the leash fluorescent pink and obvious around both of their bodies.  "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??" Gou screeched, laughing so hard tears sprang to her eyes. "Is that a LEASH?"

 

"O-ho my god…" Rin wheezed, clutching his stomach.  "I am so blowing this up to like, canvas-sized, and giving it to him for Christmas.  HE LOOKS LIKE A DAD!!"

 

"Noooo…" Gou cried, trying to catch her breath.  "It's… It's Dadsuke! Oh my god…"

  
  


Rin: That is, by far, the best picture Gou and I have ever seen of you.  Proud papa. We are dying over here

Sousuke: This kid loves me no matter how many times I scowl at him

Rin: You aren't as intimidating as you think you are

Sousuke: Die.  I am a terrifying force of nature.

Rin: Have fun today, dad.

Sousuke: He just called me 'shoshay'

Sousuke: I kinda wanna buy him an ice cream cone.

Rin: BAHAHAHAHAA!  Don't get too attached… (snort)  You have to give him back!

  
  


Once Rin and Gou had gotten their fill of laughing at their 'sorely put-upon' friend, they scooped up the dishes and made quick work of the kitchen, Rin heading off to the bathroom as Gou finished up.  "Where's the caulk?" she heard him holler from the back, and pushed down a snicker.

 

"You're so gay!" she screamed in response, tittering when she heard him guffaw.

 

"I hate you!  The CAULKING, GOU.  Do you want my help or not?"  Rin's 'indignant' response was compromised severely by the obvious laughter, and Gou quickly skipped down the hall, rounding the doorway to find her brother leaned over with his hands on his knees, breaths hitching.

 

"It's in the tub.  And you know what it looked like the last time I tried it, so YES, I desperately want your help."

 

Bundling up the shower curtain to fling it over the rod, Rin shook his head, finally catching his breath.  "You are such a shit. Jesus. I guess you are lucky I know my way around… caulk."

 

Gou's eyes popped, her mouth falling open as Rin leaned down and grabbed the gun from the tub.  "Did you just… Rin, did you just make a 'sex' joke? In front of ME?"

 

Rin threw his head back, issuing a sigh so long the end wheezed.  "You started it," he finally mumbled, cheeks flushed. "Now get out of here and let me do this."

 

"Oh HELL no!" Gou exclaimed, lifting herself to sit on the vanity.  "This is sister-brother bonding time! And SPEAKING OF… Mom says you have a new love interest!"

 

Rin snorted, shuffling to his knees to check that Gou had prepared the tile correctly.  "Why am I not surprised. She just got carried away."

 

"She said he was handsome, and sweet, and brought everyone breakfast??" Gou prodded, tapping impatient fingers on the counter.  "Why am I the last to know?"

 

Swinging his head slowly back over his shoulder, he made sure to catch Gou's glance before rolling his eyes.  "That is rich coming from you, Miss 'I will hide my promotion from my brother until the sun consumes the earth'.  But no. There is no love interest. Mom met Rei. And of course, loved him."

 

"What??  RYUUGAZAKI REI?!" Gou squealed, bouncing excitedly.  "Oh my god, I was starting to think he was dead, or like, spirited away or something!  Nagisa kept saying they stayed in touch, but I was beginning to have my doubts. At one point, I was convinced Rei had been murdered and Nagisa just didn't want to tell me."

 

Rin let an amused puff of air escape his nose, dragging a smooth line of caulk along the seam of the tile and tub.  "He is very much alive. Just been working a lot, I guess. He's one of those hyper-successful types, not that any of that is a surprise."  Snapping the line of silicone off at a corner, he shot Gou a grin. "I think Mom kinda has a low-key crush on him, now."

 

Gou nodded slowly, eyes sparkling over her flushed cheeks.  "He was always such a sweetheart! Oh my goodness, and that body…"  Her eyes got a faraway look, face falling into a mask of stillness, and Rin's eyes slowly grew wider until he couldn't hold in his laughter, snickering as he turned back to the tub.

 

"You should see him now, sis.  The years have been kind. Maybe I should give him your number."

 

Gou's laughter was obviously strained, and Rin whipped his head back around, cursing quietly when the bead of caulk smeared onto the tile.  Her eyes flew wide, shaking her hands in front of her face. "No! No, I mean, I would love to get back in touch with him. But I don't… I'm not looking for any uh…"

 

Rin's eyebrow quirked, expression thoughtful, and he dropped himself to the edge of the tub, settling the gun back to the porcelain.  "Is that right. You uh… You got a boyfriend, Gou? Because you could do a hell of a lot worse. He's pretty much perfect. Still a bit of a nerd, but he's loosened up quite a bit."

 

Rin felt his jaw clench when Gou hesitated, then her eyes locked onto his.  "No boyfriend. But um. I might have something in the works. I planned to let you know if it got serious."  She felt herself let out a slow breath when Rin's face lifted into amused surprise.

 

"Oh yeah?  Damn, and here I figured you'd been so busy with Mom and work that you wouldn't have had any time to find a new boy toy."

 

"I was surprised myself," she breathed, then blinked and drug her gaze back to her brother.  "Anyhow. Why the hell does Mom think you and Rei are dating?"

 

Another eyeroll and Rin was back to his work, leaned over the tub.  "Probably just wishful thinking, on her part. She was totally goofy about him.  Singing his praises. Didn't seem put off at all by the fact that I've known the guy since his laugh sounded like a goddamned supervillain, and that he ISN'T FUCKING GAY.  Honestly, the conversation was infuriating."

 

"Huh."  Gou watched as Rin slowly drug a confident line of caulk around the next corner of the bathtub, heading for the last stretch.  "I remember him dating a woman in college, but… He brought a man to Makoto's wedding."

 

"Mm, you're right," Rin hummed, concentrating.  Once he was done, he dropped lightly to the floor, pulling his legs beneath him.  "Pretty sure that was just a friend of his. Coworker or something."

 

Gou's face twisted into a derisive sneer.  "Who the hell brings a coworker to one of their best friends' weddings?"

 

Shrugging, Rin propped his face onto his hand, elbow on the lip of the tub.  "Hell if I know. But if there is someone in the world weird enough to do it, it's Rei.  Maybe he just didn't want to show up alone."

 

"You're wrong, Rin.  I'm sure of it. I DEFINITELY got a 'dating' vibe from them."

 

"Okay, fine then.  Maybe he dates guys.  I don't really know, or care.  He can be as attractive as he wants; to me, he will always be that frickin' GOOF that called everything 'beautiful' and had his nose shoved so far into a book he couldn't figure out how to DOGGY PADDLE until I showed him."

 

Gou clicked her tongue, her features falling into an angry pout.  "That's... a very limited view. He was a total sweetheart, and he did a LOT for you, if you don't remember, you insufferable ASS."

 

"OH MY GOD, YES, I KNOW," Rin boomed, shoving himself from the floor.  "And that is why we're friends. Christ, you're as bad as Mom."

 

"I just think you're being unfair!" she cried as Rin stomped off down the hall.

 

"I'm done talking about this," Rin growled from somewhere in the front of the house, and Gou slid from the vanity, quietly stepping toward the living room, catching a glimpse of her brother as he disappeared into the entryway.  "Are we heading over there or not?"

 

Gou let out a soft sigh, turning back to her bedroom.  "Yeah," she muttered, too quiet for Rin to hear. "Just let me change my clothes," she offered, slightly louder, and heard him grunt in reply.

 

In the process of tugging her jeans up, she heard the strangest sound, some sort of muffled cry, and her blood immediately turned to ice, body freezing half bent over.  She felt a slightly panicked question forcing itself from her chest when she heard her brother speak. "Gou. Come here."  

 

Lips tightening over her teeth, Gou yanked her pants on, practically running down the hallway.  "Rin?? Is everything okay? What's going o-" She skidded to a stop in the living room, Rin shooting daggers at her with his eyes, his hand clutched around a large black windbreaker.

 

"What.  The fuck.  Is this." he spat, Gou's eyes widening briefly before she smiled, inquisitive.

 

"Hmm?" she pushed out, tilting her head curiously.

 

"This is Sousuke's jacket.  And it was hanging on your coat rack."

 

"Oh!" she laughed, striding across the room to tug it from his hand.  "I wondered! I accidentally brought this home with me the other day when I grabbed a quick load of laundry from Mom's place.  I thought maybe it was yours!" She made a bit of a production of holding it up, inspecting it. "I guess it's a little big for you, huh?  That makes a lot of sense. Would you mind giving it back to him?"

 

Rin's glare was BUILT of suspicion, but she just laughed and tossed the jacket back to him, turning to grab her purse.  "Sorry I didn't mention it earlier; I'd completely forgotten!"

 

He squinted at her silently for a few more seconds before his shoulders loosened, looking down.  "He probably left it a couple weeks ago, when he helped with the basement." Mumbling something about dropping it off later in the week, he turned and headed out the door.

 

Eyes sliding briefly closed, Gou clenched her jaw.  "Shit," she whispered, and followed.

  
  


*

  
  


Rin shot Gou a small smile from across the room, a handful of his mother's friends happily chatting and tittering in the living room, notepads and books spread out over tables and chairs.  Their mother had insisted there was no need for Rin and Gou to be there, but despite her improving health, they had insisted, helping with snacks and refreshments whenever anyone seemed to need more tea or another sandwich.  Things seemed well in hand for the moment, so Rin let his thoughts wander, rolling his shoulders in a gratifying stretch.

 

_ I'm actually not dreading going into work tomorrow, _ he mused, hand lazily scratching at his stomach.   _ How long has it been since that happened?  Normally, my Sundays are utter shit, but I just feel… fine.  Surely Jason wasn't making me THAT miserable. What else changed? _   He ran through a mental list of his daily routine, his clients, and when his mind landed on Isuzu, his back suddenly straightened.   _ Oh.  Right.  Damn, maybe she was right; I'm probably just not carrying around all that pent up stress, anymore. _

 

His thoughts immediately shifted to the day before, the recall of being with Rei- in the dungeon, naked and exhausted- bringing a high flush to his cheekbones.   _ Ugh, god, I can't think about this right now, _ he decided, noting a mortifying hint of stirring below his belt.   _ I can't believe I'm sitting here in a room full of old ladies, fighting off an erection.  Embarrassing. _   Standing suddenly, he caught Gou's eye, waving his phone at her and tilting his head to the back of the house, and when she nodded, smiling, he made his escape, closing himself in the back bedroom.

 

_ I know it was just yesterday, but…  I kinda can't wait to do it again. And I know his schedule is crazy, so I'd probably better hit him up sooner than later. _   Opening his email, he scrolled through their messages from earlier in the morning, checking up on each other.  Rin had been thrilled to report he was feeling great, and Rei insisted Rin let him know if that changed.  _ God, he's so NICE. _   He tapped 'new message'.

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Hey  
Message: 

Master,

Any chance we could find another time to meet up?  Let me know what your schedule looks like.

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Hey  
Message: 

My pet,

I'm sure something could be arranged.  We could do another Saturday afternoon, as last time, if you'd like.  I'm pleased you seem to be enjoying this.

So, two Saturdays from now, 1 pm?

Hope you are still feeling alright.

Your Master

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Hey  
Message: 

Master,

That sounds great.  I'll plan on it. And yeah, I'm feeling really good.  Better than normal, honestly. Thanks a lot.

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Hey  
Message: 

My pet,

You are, of course, welcome.  Better than normal, though… Please be on the lookout for a 'crash'.  It isn't a guarantee, but it happens sometimes, and if you are still riding a bit of the high from yesterday, the come-down could be… abrupt.  Do not hesitate to call me if you need assistance, or even just someone to talk to.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Your Master

  
  


*

  
  


"Right, but like, she was pounding on my door at 11 o'clock at night!" Nagisa huffed, trying (and failing) to keep the smile from his face.  "I mean, who is being louder, you know??"

 

"Your taste in music would drive anyone to the brink," Rei snickered, laughing harder when Nagisa flipped him off through the screen.  "Why on earth did you have it up so loud?"

 

"I WAS CLEANING," Nagisa shot back, indignant.  "I thought you'd be proud of me. I had to turn it up; otherwise, I couldn't hear it over the vacuum."

 

Rei's eyes flew open in shock, hands slapping to his forehead.  "Oh my- Nagisa, NO, forget the music! You cannot run the vacuum at 11 o'clock at night!  Dear god! I'd have killed you myself!"

 

Shaking his head at Rei's obvious horror, Nagisa shrugged.  "I vacuum when I have the energy to do it. If I didn't, it would never get done."  He ignored Rei's pitiful 'whyeee', continuing. "And now I don't have to do it this weekend, which means I can have fun!"

 

The look Rei shot him was a mixture of anger and exasperation, but when Rei offered up no response, Nagisa grinned, leaning back in his chair.  "So, what are your plans for the weekend, Rei-chan?"

 

Rei seemed reluctant to let it go, but eventually let out a long sigh, tucking his legs up beside him on the couch.  "I need to move some boxes into the attic; I've been slowly but surely getting the guest bedroom cleaned up, and while there were a lot of my brother's things left over from when he stayed with me last year, much of the mess was mine.  I'm not looking forward to climbing that terrifying ladder with no hands, though."

 

It was Nagisa's turn to look horrified, and he scootched forward until his mouth was almost directly over the mic.  "JUST ASK SOMEONE FOR HELP, DUMBASS."

 

The words were distorted and crackly, but understandable, and Rei's eyebrows raised, feeling a little silly that he hadn't thought of that himself.  "Oooh…" he breathed, and Nagisa giggled, rolling his eyes.

 

"Give Mako-chan a call.  I bet he'd help in an instant!"

 

"Yes, I suppose you are probably right," Rei murmured, glancing over to his phone.  "I'll do that. Thank you, Nagisa."

 

Flipping him an exaggerated 'thumbs up', Nagisa nodded, a bright smile on his face.  "Solving all of your problems for you, one bit at a time! Anyways, Rei-chan, I gotta go.  Meeting some friends tonight for bowling! I'm terrible at it, but we always have so much fun!"

 

Rei returned his smile, leaning forward to reach for the keyboard.  "That does sound fun. Have a wonderful night, Nagisa."

 

"You too, Rei-chan!"

 

Disconnecting the call, Rei snagged his phone from the table, flopping back to the sofa with a chuckle.   _ How foolish…  I suppose I've just been so isolated for so long that it simply never occurred to me that I could ask someone for assistance. _   He had Makoto's contact pulled up, thumb hovering over the 'call' button, when he stopped.   _ I would hate to take him away from his wife, though.  Their weekends are the only real time they get together. _   Closing out of it, Rei scrolled through his phone.   _ Maybe Haruka or Rin-san? _   Rei quickly scrolled, tapping the call button.

 

"Hey man, how's it going?" Rin's voice asked over the line, Rei pulling himself to his feet to wander to the back of the house.

 

"Rin-san, good evening," Rei smiled, stepping through the hallway to the door of the extra bedroom.  "How are you doing?"

 

Rei heard a mumbled 'sorry, excuse me' before Rin's voice was once more in his ear.  "Doing great! Just heading home from work, actually… Coworker's birthday today, so we all kinda had a makeshift party for her once our last clients were gone.  What about you? Got any thrilling plans for your Friday night?"

 

Rei's eyes trailed back down the hall, landing on his desk, carefully organized plastic pieces and tiny jars of paint covering the surface.   _ Yes... thrilling, _ he thought with a hint of embarrassment.  "Ah, just… an evening in. Do you have a moment to chat?"

 

"What?  Sure! What's up?"  Rei could hear the noise of the train in the background, the muffled buzz of commuters having their own conversations, and found himself feeling a surge of gratitude that he was able to drive to and from work in his own vehicle.

 

"Oh, wonderful," Rei mumbled, pushing the door open to stare at the boxes littering the floor of the room.  "I uh… I'm uncertain what your plans are for your weekend, but I could use some assistance with moving some boxes into the attic, and was hoping you might be available."

 

"Oh!  Hell yeah, man!  Uh, let me think.  Gou and I are gonna be at Mom's most of Sunday, but I'm free all day tomorrow, if that works!  I definitely owe you, after the basement debacle."

 

Rei stuttered in his steps across the floor, huffing indignantly.  "Rin-san! I assure you. You owe me nothing. It was my pleasure to help.  But… yes, tomorrow would be perfect. Would the afternoon work, for you? It shouldn't take us more than a couple of hours to tackle this, and then I can make us some dinner.  It occurs to me that we haven't had much opportunity to just sit and talk, since we reconnected."

 

Rei heard a tiny snort of laughter, Rin pausing before responding.  "No... I guess we haven't. Sounds good, Rei. Uh… Afternoon, huh? What, like 3 or 4?"

 

"Either would be fine.  I'll text you my address.  I can't thank you enough for being willing to help!  I'm unsure exactly how I would have gone about this, on my own."

 

"Not a problem," Rin stated, a yawn turning the last word into a squeak.  "Geh, Jesus. Early bedtime for me tonight. Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

 

"Wonderful.  Thank you so much, Rin-san.  I hope you rest well."

 

"You too.  Have a great night, Rei."

  
  


*

  
  


Eyebrows raised in surprise, Rin nodded and gestured at his plate with his chopsticks, chewing as quickly as he could.  "Holy shit, Rei! This is really good!" he eventually enthused, quickly loading up another bite. "I guess I should have known…  I'm starting to wonder if there is anything you are BAD at. Frickin' OBNOXIOUS, honestly. You're making the rest of us look bad."  Chuckling, Rin shoveled the bite into his mouth.

 

Rei rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his tea before replying.  "Well, thank you, but rest assured there is much I am just… downright terrible at doing.  Nagisa has actually made me swear to never touch another karaoke mic as long as I live. If it is so bad he doesn't want to hear it even to tease me about it, I assume it is dreadful.  I wouldn't know. Completely tone-deaf."

 

Rin shook his head slowly, shoulders hitching with a laugh as he tried to swallow.  "Y-yeah…" he croaked, dropping his chopsticks to his plate. "Because karaoke is a necessary life-skill on par with, you know, EATING."

 

A wisp of a smile turned Rei's lips, his eyes sparkling wickedly.  "My English pronunciation is terrible."

 

"Okay, that's a little better," Rin conceded, still shaking his head.

 

"And I hire someone to care for my lawn, as the first and only time I tried to mow it myself, the machine quite literally exploded."

 

A surprised laugh burst from Rin's chest, a few grains of rice flying across the table.  This got them both giggling, and they took a moment to catch their breath, Rin scooping up his mess with red cheeks.  "S-sorry… Oh man, what the hell did you DO? It blew up?"

 

"Humiliatingly, yes.  I still, to this day, have no idea what I did wrong.  I've been too afraid to try again." Rei offered a shrug and an embarrassed smile, tucking into his own dinner.

 

They proceeded to eat in relative silence, comfortable, enjoying the food and the company.  Rin's gaze swept over the dining room and kitchen, pleased that Rei seemed to keep his things as tidy and organized as Rin did himself.  His eyes caught on the pantry door, hooks holding up a colander, a sleeve that appeared to be where Rei stored plastic bags, and both a red and a blue apron.   _ Two aprons, huh. _   Rin's eyes swung back to Rei.  "You have a girlfriend?"

 

Eyebrow cocking, Rei finished chewing.  "A girlfriend? No. Why do you ask?"

 

Rin waved his chopsticks towards the kitchen.  "Two aprons."

 

Rei's expression seemed surprised, turning his head to look at his pantry.  "Oh!" His eyes fell back to his plate, scooping up a piece of chicken. "That belonged to my ex."  The look he returned to Rin once he was solidly chewing seemed open, friendly enough, and Rin found himself relieved it seemed he hadn't accidentally touched on a raw nerve.  

 

_ Must have been a while ago, _ he deduced, continuing with his dinner.  

 

"So…" Rin began, dropping his utensils to his empty plate once he'd finished.  "I talked to Kisumi, and he's all about getting you on the team. For volleyball.  I guess he normally makes people 'try out', but he's desperate, so all you have to do is show up.  He wanted me to ask you for a phone number and email address." Pushing his plate to the side, Rin placed his forearms on the table, a tiny laugh puffing his lips.  "I don't uh… have an email address, for you. Or at least… Anyways. Is that okay with you?"

 

Rei had fished his phone from his pocket before Rin could even finish speaking, texting Rin his email address.  "Of course! Kisumi… Shigino Kisumi?"

 

"Yep." Rin felt Rei's text arrive, pocket buzzing.  "Did you guys know each other?"

 

Rei gave a half-hearted shrug, leaning back in his chair, intertwining his fingers behind his head.  "Not really. I believe we spoke a few times. I just remember his name from Makoto and Haruka."

 

"Oh yeah, that makes sense."  Preoccupied, Rin stared into space for a moment, only realizing he'd spaced out when Rei shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "Huh. Well, we generally start practicing in December. If uh, that works for you." Rin found his eyes repeatedly pulled back to the aprons, several questions on the tip of his tongue, but not really knowing where to begin.

 

"Rin-san?  Is everything alright?"  Rei's eyes followed Rin's gaze, and when he turned back to Rin, a small smile turned the corner of his lips.  "You seem… distracted."

 

_ If you want to know, just ask him.  Friends talk about stuff like this all the time!  You aren't being weird. _   "Heh, yeah, I guess so.  Sorry, dude. I was just wondering how long you keep an apron around after an ex is… an ex."

 

A surprised laugh shook Rei's shoulders, and he turned his face to the kitchen.  "I think it's been… just over two years? Honestly, I had completely forgotten about the apron until you pointed it out."

 

"Did you two live together?" Rin asked, leaning forward, excited that Rei seemed willing to answer his questions.

 

"We did.  For almost a year.  I believe we dated for around 3 years prior."

 

Rin's eyebrows shot up, expression disbelieving.  "You dated for 3 years before you lived together??"

 

Rei shook his head, something about his posture seeming… resigned.  "Yes. I was opposed to us living together at all. I had a feeling… we had some incompatible views, on cohabitation.  As it turns out, I was right." Laughing, Rei stood, deftly clearing the table of their dinnerware. "Would you like a beer?  I was thinking I might grab one for myself."

 

"Oh!  I… yeah, that sounds great.  Thanks, Rei." Rin studied his friend as he rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, sweeping back into the dining room moments later with a beer for each of them.  "So what finally made you crack? It kinda seems like a shame, for a 4-year relationship to go to shit, just because you live under the same roof."

 

Throwing back a sizeable drink, Rei chuckled, dropping the bottle to the table and leaning forward, folding his hands together.  "It was… an unusual situation. These things happen. Have you ever lived with anyone? While you were in a relationship?"

 

"Heh," Rin snickered, nodding slowly.  "Yeah. Not too long after college. It was hell.  We sure as shit tried, though. Managed a couple years that way."  Rin's eyes were locked on Rei's, a decision settling in his gut like lead weight.   _ Just say it, Matsuoka. _   "We uh…"  Laughing humorlessly, Rin tilted his head down, fingers tapping on the table.  "Turns out he wanted kids, you know? And mother of all surprises, I was having a devil of a time getting pregnant."

 

When Rin lifted his face to Rei, he saw nothing in his expression besides empathy and concern.  "That's dreadful," Rei whispered, lips pulling back from his teeth. "Is this something he knew before the two of you moved in together?"

 

Rin laughed, unsure of why, and raised his hands, palms up in a 'who knows' sort of gesture.   _ I don't know why I expected anything else from Rei.  I just came out to him, and all he can think is 'oh my, that must have been such a hard situation'.  Jesus, this guy... _   "I mean… he said no?  But. He also had a kid less than a year after we split, so."

 

"Didn't waste any time, did he," Rei huffed, lips pulled into a hint of a sneer.

 

Rin couldn't help chuckling, seeing Rei get all defensive on his behalf.  "Hey, it's no big deal. It was a long time ago. And I was definitely not the perfect partner, either.  I wasn't ready for my family or friends to know I was… into men, and he really resented having to hide our relationship.  And I don't blame him, at all."

 

Rei looked thoughtful, nodding slowly, and took another pull from his beer.  "Are you still closeted?"

 

Taking his own drink, Rin shook his head slightly.  "No, not exactly. I mean, when that relationship imploded, I was pretty torn up, and that was when I told Mom, Gou, and Sousuke.  I just… I needed someone to understand why I was having such a hard time. They were all so great about it, too. Heh. I don't know why I was so afraid to tell them."  Rin began to laugh, his cheeks flushing. "I guess Sousuke had known for a long time… He said he'd stumbled across my porn stash in high school when he was looking for a pencil that had rolled under my bed."

 

Tittering, Rei dropped his chin to his hand, a teasing grin on his face.  "A pencil? Sounds like a convenient excuse."

 

"Haha, it does, but I believe him.  Honestly, I should have done a better job hiding it; I'm just glad it was Sousuke that found it, and not one of the other guys on my team."

 

"No kidding," Rei agreed.  "But you said 'not exactly'.  Who else knows? I mean, you don't have to tell me; I certainly won't speak of it to anyone, if that is what you wish."

 

Rin leaned back in the chair, pushing his hands against the table until his spine popped, giggling at Rei's immediate expression of distaste.  "It's not really a secret, per se… I just don't like, advertise it, or anything. Haru knows because he just straight up ASKED me a few years ago.  And if Haru knows, I would imagine Makoto does, too. A few other friends of mine know, I guess…" His voice trailed off, and his face looked somehow guilty when his eyes drifted back to Rei.  "I kinda… Well, I feel like an ass about it now, but I kinda deliberately avoided telling Nagisa, asked everyone to not talk to him about it. Because I… didn't think he seemed like the type to be able to keep a secret.  Which I have been proven SPECTACULARLY wrong on, so."

 

Rin was cringing, but Rei just laughed, waving his hand in the air.  "Nagisa is one of the most trustworthy people I've ever met. But I can completely see how you would arrive at that conclusion.  I have no idea why it would ever come up, but I'll avoid speaking of it to him, if that makes you more comfortable."

 

"No!  I mean, no, it's…  Actually, it's kinda refreshing, the idea of just… everyone knowing, and I don't have to watch what I say and do around any of you, anymore."  Rin let out a long, protracted sigh, snagging his bottle from the table and downing a huge swig. "BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. I've spilled my guts here…  I want to know YOUR story. How in the ACTUAL HELL did you get into BDSM?"

 

_ I suppose that's a fair question, _ Rei mused.   _ I don't get into it with my subs, normally, but Rin is a friend as well... _   "Right…  I mean, it's a fairly typical story, really.  The young woman I was seeing in college had an interest in it, and she was my first serious relationship, as well as my first sexual experience, so…"  Rei began to giggle, his cheeks flushing as he rested a hand over his eyes. "I have always felt that anything worth doing is worth doing well, so I… pursued learning about sex with the same zeal I have always done with everything else."

 

"O-ho shit…" Rin snickered, leaning over the table as far as he could.  "Oh my god, that is so hilarious! Did you have like, a whole shelf of sex books?  I can't help remembering all of your swimming books…"

 

"I did," Rei managed to croak out, his breath hitching with mortified laughter.  "I kept them hidden, but there were… many. I was curious about everything, and there was very little I wasn't willing to try at least once.  She was very adventurous, so I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise that she would develop an interest in BDSM, and I was just fascinated by the topic in general."

 

Rin was wheezing, nodding along, and finally sucked in a full breath so he could respond.  "Oh god, oh god… I'm just dying, picturing you all hunched over some ABSOLUTELY FILTHY book, post-its and highlighters and little scribbled notes in the margins…"

 

"You're not far off," Rei chuckled.  "But um… So we got involved in the BDSM scene here in Tokyo, just watching at first, learning, you know?  Gradually, we were interested enough to try subbing, as we both found ourselves pulled to the excitement of that power differential.  Throughout school, we continued to be a part of the 'public' scene, and I always subbed, there. But at home, she wanted me to dom, so I was learning more and more of that, as well."  Rei finished off his beer and raised an eyebrow at Rin, gesturing with the bottle, and Rin nodded, quickly knocking the rest of his back.

 

Collecting their empties, Rei headed off to the fridge to grab more.  "So, she actually got a job in the United States after she graduated. Neither of us felt we had any interest in trying to make something work long-distance, so we split up.  It was… difficult for me. I was quite taken with her."

 

"That sounds really hard, Rei."  Rin nodded his thanks when Rei passed him a fresh bottle and sat down.

 

Rei's shoulders lifted slightly in a shrug.  "It was… Well, there was nothing to be done about it.  She was not invested enough in me to consider staying, and I was not willing to go with her.  Sometimes, that's just the way it goes. But it was a very powerless feeling, watching this life we'd built for nearly 4 years be… systematically disassembled.  I helped her pack her things; I mean, we lived together by that point. But that has to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I was also still very new at my job; I graduated the year before her, but I was definitely still a 'grunt' at work."

 

Pausing for a sip, Rei slouched back into his chair, a resigned expression on his features.  "I basically felt I had no control over anything in my life. So I found myself spending more and more time with the people I knew from the scene, and began domming for others.  It was the one place I could feel like I had some agency. Some sort of control, even if it was just in this very specific context. And the rest, as they say, is history."

 

Rin nodded slowly, taking it all in, twirling his bottle in his hands.  "Huh. Yeah, I guess when you explain it like that, it makes a little more sense."  Suddenly, his face lit up. "Oh! So I hear you used to lead workshops and stuff?"

 

Rin's excited grin fell at Rei's obvious surprise.  "Really. Where did you hear that?"

 

"Uh…"   _ SHIT!  I almost blurted out Isuzu's name!  God, it seems like maybe I'M the one that can't keep secrets… _   "The acquaintance that recommended you mentioned it."

 

Rei's head tilted, his expression one of surprised amusement.  "I see… It's just been a few years, so I'm surprised anyone would remember that.  People come and go from the scene a lot; turnover is pretty high. I'll admit I've been curious as to how YOU stumbled across this whole idea, and decided you wanted to sub."

 

Rin felt something in his chest flutter at Rei's words.   _ He's been curious about me?  Or wait, yeah, I guess that would be a pretty natural reaction, wouldn't it. _   He took in a deep breath, settling himself.  "This is probably going to sound really stupid, but it was just a friend.  That suggested it. And um… I mean, my life had been kinda nosediving, and I guess the idea stuck with me, and I thought maybe it would be a way to relieve stress, or something."

 

"Really.  That is… quite brave, Rin-san."   _ How fascinating.  I don't know that I would have had the fortitude to plow headfirst into something like this, all on my own. _   Clearing his throat, Rei held up his beer.  "Well. Here's to hoping things get a bit easier for you."

 

Rin felt his cheeks heating, embarrassed by the thought of how much better things already seemed, and clinked his bottle to Rei's.  "R-right. Yeah, me too."

  
  


*

  
  


When Rei opened the apartment door, Rin stood there quietly, a small smile on his face.  "Hey."

 

"Please, come in."  Rei held the door open, Rin entering and removing his shoes, and then they both walked quickly back to the bedroom, Rin falling in step just behind.   _ It is surprising to me how quickly he is taking to all of this, _ Rei thought, directing Rin to sit on the couch while he drug the desk chair over.   _ Though he still struggles with not using my name.  Perhaps that is to be expected, since we know each other outside of this context.  No matter; I'm sure he will improve with time. Heaven knows it's been an adjustment for me, as well. _   Lowering himself to the chair, Rei leaned forward.  "So, you suggested via email that you would like me to choose what we do, this afternoon.  I am perfectly comfortable doing so, but I'd prefer we discuss what I've decided prior, so there is no miscommunication.  I do not feel we know each other well enough, in this context, for me to safely 'surprise' you."

 

Rin's expression was a bit quizzical, and he let out a soft "oh".  "I mean, that's fine, then. I guess I just figured, like… the surprise would add to the whole 'feel' of it, or whatever."

 

Rei nodded enthusiastically, but he gestured behind him, pulling Rin's attention to the rack of whips and floggers.  "It very much can. But I am still learning your limits, and you are learning mine. I have over 30 striking implements in this dungeon, alone.  And that is to say nothing of restraints and other means of play. Each and every one has a different purpose, and a different end result. I cover everything I can in the written contract, but there is still a… 'tactile' aspect to all of this that we have to experience together.  Or to put it more simply… I believe there are things one must 'learn by doing'. 'Surprises' are for D/s pairs with considerably more experience with each other." Rei paused, searching Rin's face for any sort of reaction. "Or… Perhaps not every dom would feel that way, but I most certainly do."

 

Rin's eyebrows shot up, jaw clenching.  "Oh uh… Hey, I mean, there are two of us here, you know?  If you aren't comfortable with it, I'm not like… trying to get you to do something you don't want to."

 

A genuine smile warmed Rei's face.  "That is very considerate of you. Shall we discuss my thoughts for play today, then?"

 

Rin grinned, leaning back and throwing his arms over the top of the sofa.  "Absolutely. What were you thinking?"

 

_ Something seems… different, about him today.  It is possible he is just beginning to feel a bit more comfortable with all of this, but that doesn't feel quite right.  I'll need to get to the bottom of this. _   "Wonderful," Rei breathed, then stood, swinging the chair back to the desk.  "So, I'd like to restrain you here," Rei stated, crossing the room to rap the back of his hand against the St. Andrew's cross, knuckles making a single, brisk tap.  "You mentioned this intimidated you before, so we certainly do not have to. But I was intending for us to play with a flogger today, and as you are a beginner, I would like to do what I can to ensure you don't move around too much."  

 

Rin's eyes were already huge, and his gaze followed Rei over to the rack.  "I believe I'd like to use this," he chirped, lifting a flogger from the rack.  "Its length allows me to vary the sensation quite a bit, but if you move beneath it, it can cause serious injury.  It is imperative the blows land where and how I intend." He slid his hand down the length of the nylon falls, letting them slip gently from his fingers, studying Rin the entire time.

 

Rin returned his gaze, blinking and silent.   _ He doesn't look… frightened.  If forced to guess, I would wager he is somewhere between curious and… angry? _   Rei felt a laugh trying to push its way from his chest and choked it back.   _ No, that is not angry.  That is the look he gets when he feels he's being challenged.  Well. I suppose that is exactly what I'm doing. _

 

A few more moments ticked by, and Rei placed the toy back on the rack.  "That was Plan A. I have others, but I am going to need some input from you, my pet."  Dragging his fingers over the rack, the hangers and toys made a slight tinkling sound.  _ Challenge him. _   "I'm surprised at your hesitance."  

 

When Rei turned back around, he saw exactly what he expected, Rin's eyes fierce, a small sneer on his lips.  "Fine, then. Let's do this."

 

_ Ah…  There it is.  That fire. I can work with this. _   "You are ready to begin?"

 

"Master, yes."

 

"Tell me your safeword," Rei murmured, heading over to the shelf to retrieve the cuffs and straps he would need, sliding on his gloves.

 

"Master, butterfly."

 

"Stand and remove your clothes," Rei shot over his shoulder, gathering his supplies.   _ I wonder how long he will wait before demanding my attention?  He is a fascinating contradiction in terms. Desperately seeks acknowledgment from others, but often seems embarrassed when he gets it.   _ Rei felt a tiny smile curling his lips, and he took his time, slowly plucking items from the shelf while listening to the soft rustle of Rin's clothing.

 

When Rei couldn't drag it out any longer, he swung his eyes to the desk, sauntering to it, dropping the restraints at Rin's feet on the way.   _ He's being patient so far…  That's good. Let's see how far I can push it. _   Rei opened the middle drawer, retrieving a pad of paper and sitting back down, snagging a pen from the holder.   _ Let's see…  I need oven cleaner, bananas… daikon radish… _

 

Rei deliberately kept his back to Rin, writing out his grocery list, ears perked for Rin's reaction.  Fingers meticulously scribbling, Rei felt another smile creeping onto his face.  _ Wow.  I am genuinely surprised.  It's been… _   Rei's eyes flicked to the clock.   _ Almost two minutes.  And he hasn't said a wor- _

 

"Master?"

 

_ And here we go. _   "Mm?" Rei replied, continuing to write.

 

Rei heard Rin clear his throat.  "Master, is… there anything else you need me to do?"

 

"Not at all."  Rei's eyes never left the paper, breathing slowly to keep down the laughter trying to push its way up.   _ Onions…  Mmm, I wonder if that wagyu beef is still on sale. _   He tapped the pen lightly, thinking about his menu for the week.

 

"Master…  What are you writing?"

 

"Oh.  I need to run to the grocery tomorrow, so I thought I'd make my list, while I was thinking about it."  It was no effort to keep the amusement out of his voice; he had plenty of practice, and Rei needed to know how Rin would react.

 

"You're WHAT?" Rin scoffed, kicking lightly at the cuffs.  "What the actual f-"

 

"You are abysmal at addressing me correctly," Rei intoned, continuing to write.  "And what I do is my own business. Lace your fingers together behind your head, elbows to the sides."   _ THAT'S IT, isn't it.  It isn't that he is more comfortable; he is being too familiar.  He's still treating me like a friend. _

 

He heard Rin's mumbled 'what?', but Rei could see in the reflection of the clock face that he did as instructed.  "You are being punished. Since you are so desperate for my attention, that is exactly what you will not get. And where is my apology?  I shouldn't have to ask for it, by this point."

 

Shuffling slightly, Rin pulled in a slow breath, attempting to calm himself.  "Master, I'm sorry I addressed you improperly." He knew his voice was sullen, but that was the best he could do.  He didn't sign up for all of this just to be ignored.

 

_ Good heavens.  He really struggles to get 'in role'.  So much pride. He is still very much 'Rin', right now. _   Rei leaned his head back slightly, running through his options.   _ He needs some help, then, at letting go.  Perhaps just a reminder. _

 

Rei kept his eyes on the clock, pen moving mechanically over the notepad, his grocery list having devolved into snippets of poetry he could recall, titles of movies he'd seen, and random facts about wild animals.  Rin held his silence, glaring at the back of Rei's head. They both knew damned well there was no grocery list in the world that took that long to write out, and when 5 minutes had elapsed, Rei decided to have mercy.

 

Slowly standing, Rei made his way over to Rin, circling him with slow, measured steps.  "Who do you belong to, my pet?" he clipped out, watching Rin carefully.  _ A little reminder. _

 

Rin's eyebrows raised in shock, and a stuttered noise came from his throat before he stopped himself.  "M-Master? What the… I don't understand the question."

 

Rei was at his side in an instant, face mere millimeters from Rin's ear.  "Who owns you?" Rei whispered, pleased when Rin's skin pebbled.

 

"Uh…"  Rei watched Rin swallow, heavily.  "Master, you do."

 

"Very good," Rei said softly, brushing the hair from Rin's forehead.  "It pleases me when you… submit." Rei had centered himself in Rin's vision, uttering those words in a voice unlike anything Rin had ever heard, and Rin clenched his jaw when he felt his cock twitch.  When Rei's eyes flicked down, taking in Rin's rapidly swelling arousal, the corner of his lip curled.

 

"Do you enjoy submitting to me, my pet?"  Rei bent over, snagging a wrist cuff from the floor, centimeters from Rin's crotch.  Receiving no response, he stood, furrowing his brows. "When I ask you a question, answer me."

 

"Master, I…"  Rei's eyebrows raised in a smug facade of amused curiosity, waiting.  "Master, I… enjoy submitting to you."

 

A small smile spread Rei's lips.  "That's very good, pet. You seem to struggle with being honest with yourself.  Though I'd imagine there would be very little way to lie to yourself about this."  Chuckling, Rei made a small gesture toward Rin's traitorous cock, walking behind him.  "Drop your arms to your sides."

 

Rin's cheeks were blazing, his eyes squeezing closed in humiliation, and he let his arms fall.  "So. Who do you belong to?" Rei murmured, wrapping a cuff around Rin's wrist.

 

"Master, I belong to you."

 

"Mmm, good."  Rei quickly grabbed the other cuff, stepping back behind Rin.  "And what do you do for me?"

 

Rin felt the second cuff go around his other arm, and he let out a deep breath.  "Master, I submit."

 

"That's right, that's very good," Rei purred, on his knees now, working at Rin's ankles.  "And what does that mean, to you?"

 

Rin paused, gathering his thoughts while Rei wrapped the second cuff around Rin's ankle.  "Master, I uh… It means I address you properly and answer questions when I'm asked and… that I would do absolutely anything you wanted me to."

 

Rei's eyebrows shot up, his fingers briefly stilling on Rin's leg.   _ Holy shit. _   Rei felt his own cock stir.   _ Okay, so I think he's 'in role'. _   "That's perfect, my pet.  You're doing so well." Swiftly standing, Rei turned Rin around, hands gentle on his shoulders.  "Are the cuffs too tight?"

 

Rin shook his head slightly, taking in the sight of the cross against the wall.  "Master, no."

 

"Is this still how you wish to proceed?  You have the right to tell me 'no', at anytime, for anything.  I may be leading you, but your level of comfort with the situation is critical.  You can hit the 'eject' button at any time."

 

Rin's eyes darted to Rei's, a grimace stretching his lips.  "Master, to be honest, you're kinda… making me more nervous.  Like something terrible is about to happen, or something."

 

_ Well, crap.  I certainly didn't intend for that to happen. _   "I see.  You do not trust me to take care of you?"

 

Blinking, Rin thought for a while, his shoulders gradually loosening.  "Master… I do, actually."

 

"Anytime I reiterate your safety procedures, my intention is simply to remind you that this requires your full consent at all times.  I will never do anything to you or with you that you have not explicitly agreed upon. This is a large portion of why I felt a 'surprise' would be… counter-productive, today.  We are building our trust in one another."

 

Rin gave him a little smile, nodding.  "Master, I trust you." Eyes back to the cross, Rin let out a slow breath.  "Let's do this. I MEAN! Master, let's do this. S-sorry."

 

Rei definitely did NOT laugh, nor stride across the room with his back to Rin to hide his smile.  "Very well, then. Come here." Rin found himself surprised at how quickly he was restrained, stretching his hips against the belt strapped over his lower back.  He was eternally grateful he was facing the wall, feeling quite exposed enough with his legs spread, ass to the room.

 

"Would you like a blindfold, my pet?"  Rin realized his eyes were crossing, his nose nearly pressed to the curtains covering the wall, and nodded.  He wasn't sure if Rei could see it or not, but he was seemingly unable to speak, a knot of dread and anticipation coiling in his gut, and he hoped it was enough.

 

Rei studied Rin intently, and when he saw the nod, he offered a soft "Okay, then," and retrieved the fabric.   _ It's been a long time since I've broken in an entirely new sub, _ Rei mused, returning to Rin and murmuring praises, sliding gloved hands along his arms and back.   _ It's… quite exciting, to be honest. _   He tied the blindfold, checking to make sure he hadn't trapped any of Rin's hair in the knot, and backed up, taking in the sight.   _ I forgot how enjoyable it is, doing something for someone they've never experienced before.  _  He shot a wry grin down to his pants, tented slightly below the waist.   _ I haven't been this eager for a session in a long while.  _

 

He lifted the flogger from the rack, testing its weight and balance in his hand.  "I will begin now, my pet. Nod if this is acceptable."

 

Confirmation received, Rei began to deliberately slap the flogger into his gloved hand, remembering how he himself had always found the sound incredibly titillating.  "You are quite beautiful like this, pet. All stretched out, powerless." He heard a soft noise puff from Rin's lips, and he stepped closer, leaning in. "Completely at my mercy," he breathed, barely audible, and felt his cock jerk when Rin shivered.

 

Rei began to spin the flogger, another noise he had always found particularly exciting, slapping it to his hand occasionally as he spoke.  "I can't wait to see your pretty skin all marked up. To hear the sounds you make when I whip you." Parading slowly back and forth behind Rin, he kept his voice low, sultry.  "To see your hands clench into fists at the pain. Mm, I'm quite looking forward to this." When Rin uttered a choked 'oh shit', a jolt of excitement coursed through him.

 

Rei was a bit surprised at himself, realizing he was dragging this out more for himself than for Rin.   _ Damn, I'm… really getting off on this, _ he realized, erection straining painfully against his fly.  He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a strong response to a scene, but then again, he couldn't remember the last time he had someone so new restrained and bound before him.  And he had always had a soft spot for the cross.  _ This is going to be fun. _

 

A small smile curled his lips, and he delivered the first blow, gently, with the falls looped.  Rin gasped but made no other sound, so Rei continued, gentle strikes slowly giving way to harsher, and when Rei stepped back to give Rin a short break, he noticed he could smell the leather of his gloves.   _ No way, _ Rei thought to himself, exhilarated.    _ I feel like I can smell and hear every little thing. Holy... What a pleasure. An altered state of mind. Oh... Oh wow. God, it's been so long since I've felt like this. _   He took a quick inventory of himself, noting that he wasn't having to exert any mental effort at all to keep Rin right on that line of not-enough and too-much, that his senses felt heightened and hyper-focused.

 

Moving closer, Rei carefully pressed and soothed Rin's skin, words of praise falling from his lips as his mind continued to whir.  The last time he'd tried to explain 'domspace' or 'topspace' to anyone, it had been in one of his workshops, and he had likened it to that sense of 'flow' you sometimes get when working or painting or writing.  Your mind just 'goes', everything falling into place perfectly. It wasn't a terrible comparison, but experiencing it again for the first time in years, Rei realized there was much he had missed.

 

He felt solid, grounded.  Empowered. Focused. Satisfied.  Rei took a careful step backward, letting his eyes fall shut.   _ God, this is amazing… _   His own stuttered breath pulled his attention back to his body, and he looked down with wide eyes, realizing he'd begun to slowly drag the end of the flogger up his fly, the friction on his cock exquisite- and nearly overwhelming- in his heightened state.   _ OH SHIT.  What the hell am I doing?? _

 

Gritting his teeth with guilt, he returned his focus to Rin, attention devoted to the seemingly endless rounds of flogging and soothing, and by the time they were finished, Rei had pushed the brief lapse in control from his mind.

  
  


*

  
  


"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.  It's time to eat." Rei shook Rin's shoulder lightly, laughing as Rin buried his face further into the blanket.  "Can't sleep all day. Come on, you need to eat."

 

"Noooooo…" Rin groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes.  "Just… Let me sleep here forever. Your next sub won't mind.  I won't make a sound."

 

Chuckling, Rei lifted Rin's arm from his face.  "Don't make me manhandle you, my pet. Sit up and be a good boy."

 

"Oh for god's sa…  None of the 'good boy' stuff when we aren't in scene, okay?" Rin muttered, dragging himself upright, tugging the blanket around him.  "Fucking embarrassing."

 

"But you ARE a good boy," Rei purred, chortling when Rin shot him a death glare.  "Now eat. Your body needs it." Rei passed him a plate and Rin's eyebrows raised, taking in the sandwich and banana.

 

"What, no cookies?" he asked primly, his smile slightly smug.

 

Rei drug the chair over, flopping down into it.  "If I want to give your mother cookies, I'll take them to her myself," he breathed, feeling more exhausted than he was used to.  He began to stretch out his arms, fingers working into his shoulder blades as Rin plowed through his food.

 

"Holy hell," Rin grumbled once he was done.  "I was starving. That was a hell of a sandwich.  Why do they always taste better when someone else makes them for you?"  A short laugh puffed from his nose, his eyes landing on Rei. "Oh… Hey uh…  Are you okay?"

 

Rei's eyes snapped to Rin's, Rin's expression obviously concerned.  "Mm? Of course. Why do you ask?" Rei inquired, smiling as he slumped down a bit further in the chair.

 

"You look…"  Rin wasn't exactly sure what he was trying to convey, but he bit down on the 'like hell' he was originally planning, scanning Rei from stem to stern.  "Tired, I guess," he finally offered, shrugging. "Or something like that. Can I… I mean, do you need anything?"

 

"Heh.  I AM tired," Rei sighed, stretching his legs out as far as they would go.  "That was surprisingly intense, for me. I've not found a scene to be so… immersive, in a very long time."  He glanced to Rin, a lazy smile stretching his face. "But thank you, and no. I don't need a thing."

 

A frown tugged at Rin's features before he settled back against the sofa, relaxing.  "Immersive, huh." Turning his head, he checked the time, startling a bit when he realized they were 15 minutes over.  "Oh shit, Rei! I'm so sorry!" Rin shot up from the couch, clutching the blanket around his waist as Rei giggled and softly sang out 'who's Rei?'.  "Fuckin'... I'm sorry, Master! Shit! Why did you let me sleep for so long?"

 

"Yes, this is all my fault," Rei lilted quietly, eyes closed.

 

Rin's eyes were locked on his clothes, but he was finding it nearly impossible to entertain the notion of getting dressed in front of Rei, his earlier nakedness seeming wholly different than this.  He was opening his mouth to tell Rei to get lost when Rei interrupted him.

 

"I won't look.  Just get dressed.  I don't feel like moving."

 

Cheeks hot, Rin stared warily at him for a moment before huffing and leaping to his pants, gasping when he realized his whole body HURT.  "Oh shit…" Rin whimpered, yanking on his underwear before mustering the courage to do anything but curse. "Um… Master? I… feel like shit?"

 

Rei was instantly at his side, Rin not even able to register when he'd left the chair.  "What is it? Tell me exactly what you are feeling."

 

Suddenly feeling over-dramatic and sheepish, Rin shrugged, tugging up his jeans.  "S'not that bad," he mumbled, buttoning his fly. "I just feel achy. Like, my ass hurts."  A horrified grimace twisted Rin's features, and he started shaking his head. "Oh god, I mean, not like that, it's just-"

 

"No, I know what you mean, it's fine," Rei soothed, squeezing Rin's shoulder slightly.  "You have some slight bruising. This is normal, with the intensity of this play. I've iced them and treated them, preliminarily, but you'll likely find it helpful to do so yourself as well, over the next day or so.  I assume you know how to care for bruises, but I'd be happy to explain-"

 

"You had an ice-pack on my ass and I slept through it??" Rin exclaimed, disbelieving.  "No way!"

 

Rei snickered, walking back to the sofa to flop down on it himself.  "Way. You were asleep before I could even get you to the couch. You're heavier than you look," Rei laughed, rubbing his eyes.

 

"Oh shit…" Rin whispered, stepping toward Rei before some part of his consciousness reminded him to finish getting dressed.  "Um… I'm really sorry. Thank you for doing that. I don't think it ever occurred to me how much time you have to spend kinda… by yourself, just… doing stuff for other people."

 

Rei gave him a genuine smile, warm and happy, and waved a hand in the air.  "It's my favorite part, honestly. Aftercare, I mean. I've always enjoyed caring for other people.  Please don't be sorry."

 

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Rin pulled on his shirt, snorting.  "You're unreal," he laughed, checking his pockets for his phone, keys and wallet.  "Okay, man, I'm gonna get out of here. Maybe you should get a nap or something before the next sub."

 

"Way ahead of you," Rei sighed, snuggling further into the cushions.  "I assume you can show yourself out?"

 

Rin found himself walking across the floor before he realized what he was doing, leaning down to push a lock of hair from Rei's forehead.  Rei's eyes shot open, and they stared blankly at each other for the briefest moment before Rin stammered out an apology, bolting from the room before Rei could manage to get out a single word.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin falls, and Rei catches him. Though perhaps not in the way he would have wished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, friends! Lots of talking and thinking and general confusion for our boys, in this chapter. I had a ton of fun writing these two goofs, and I hope it is even half as enjoyable to read.
> 
> CUE THE AWKWARD ROMANCE, MAESTRO!

"I'm serious, Rin!  You can tell me. We've all noticed."

 

"Jason," Rin sighed, leaning back in his chair, running a frustrated hand through his hair.  "Maybe it's not like this in the US, but you can't just walk up to your coworker and tell them 'you look like you got laid'.  I don't even know what you mean, anyways. And wait… What do you mean, everyone's noticed?"

 

"That you seem happy, Rin.  That your demeanor has done a complete 180 in the last couple weeks.  You're acting like a man in love. Or at least, a man getting laid." Jason snickered happily to himself, dropping an ass cheek to Rin's desk.  "I want to hear all about her!"

 

Rolling his eyes, Rin waved an exasperated hand.  "I'm not… There isn't anyone, Jason. My mom's health is improving, and it's a load off.  That's all. Go… do your work, or whatever. We're done talking about this."

 

"Awww," Jason crooned, leaning down to deliver a playful punch to Rin's shoulder.  "Okay, man. But if you ever want to talk, I'm all ears." Giving him a knowing look, Jason wandered off, heading back to his desk, and Rin let out a slow, measured breath.

 

_ This is bad, _ Rin worried to himself.   _ What IS going on with me?  God, even Sousuke called me 'jolly' the other day. _   Darting a furtive glance around the room, Rin slid his phone from his pocket.

  
  


Rin: you around

Isuzu: For you?  Absolutely! What's up, buttercup??

Rin: I did something… weird.  The other day.

Isuzu: OOOH, TELL ME MORE

Rin: It's not funny, Isuzu.

Isuzu: Okay.  I'm sorry, bubba.  Go on.

Rin: So like… With Rei.  After our scene. When it was time for me to go.  I… touched him?

Isuzu: Um.  What. Like… what kind of touch

Rin: Nothing sexual or anything.  He was getting ready for a nap and I touched his hair.

Isuzu: His hair?  Why?

Rin: I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST LOOKED SOFT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING

Isuzu: OH.  Oh. Um… Do you do that a lot?  Like, I mean, do you guys have an affectionate sort of friendship?

Rin: NO.  I've never touched him before without a very practical reason.

Isuzu: Are you at work?

Rin: yes

Isuzu: Do you have time for a quick phone call?

Rin: Ugh.  Yes. Let me get in the supply closet.

Isuzu: *dying*  Do what you need to, bud.  I'll be waiting for your call.

  
  


"Hey, Rin," Isuzu's voice crackled.  "Can you hear me okay?"

 

"It's fine," Rin replied, flopping to the floor so he could lean back against the shelf.  "It's a little rough, but I can understand you."

 

"Okay.  So, what's going on?  Why are you so upset about touching his hair?  It's not a big deal, right? Or did he get upset?"

 

Rin pursed his lips, tilting his head back to stare at the overhead bulb.  "I don't think he was upset. I mean, I wouldn't know, I guess. I kinda… took off.  Afterwards. He didn't mention it in the emails the next day."

 

Rin could hear Isuzu's measured breathing, and the sound of a door closing.  "Okay. So you touched his hair, and then… left. And you don't think he's upset.  Help me understand what's bothering you." Something about the tone of her voice had Rin on edge, and he felt his jaw clench as he considered his response.

 

"Okay," he eventually breathed.  "I'm… uncomfortable because I don't know why I did it."

 

"Human beings touch each other all the time.  We are tactile creatures. I don't think there has to be a 'why', Rin."

 

"I don't think I've touched Sousuke, unless it was to punch him, in the last 10 years.  I don't know that I am a 'tactile creature'."

 

Isuzu sighed, and Rin waited as varied squeaking sounds  _ (good god, is that her desk chair?) _ floated over the line.  "I'm going to be very honest with you, bubba.  I feel like you are asking me to feed you something you already know.  But in the interest of being a good friend, I'll do it anyways." She paused, and Rin realized he was holding his breath.  "I see this being one of two things. First of all, it was right after a scene. You were in an altered emotional and physical state.  Scening is intimate, whether there is sex involved, or not. You probably just acted on that feeling, without thinking, and I don't think it's a big deal."

 

Rin tried this on for size, rolling it around in his mind, and was opening his mouth to reply when she went on.  "Or, it is possible you are beginning to see him in a… different way than you did, before."

 

Ignoring the pit of dread settling in his stomach, he forced himself to speak.  "Different how."

 

"Like… romantically."

 

Rin's eyes fell closed, and he slammed his head quietly into the shelf a couple times before uttering "I doubt that".

 

"How often do you think about him?" she continued as if he hadn't spoken.

 

"No."

 

"No what?" Isuzu snapped.  "And don't you dare tell me we aren't talking about this.  You're falling for him, aren't you. You don't even have to be honest with me, Rin.  But be honest with yourself. How often are you thinking of him? What SORTS of things are you thinking?  You want to see him, talk to him, TOUCH HIM?" Taking a deep breath, Isuzu continued, voice softer. "Look.  I'm not upset with you. I'm just worried about you. I think you should call this whole thing off. He's made it clear he doesn't date subs, so just… stop being his sub.  See what happens."

 

Swallowing heavily, Rin dropped his forehead to his free hand, squeezing his temples.  "I really don't think that's what's going on," he finally mumbled. "I'm just getting a little jumbled up.  Everything will be fine; I just need to be more careful."

 

Isuzu was completely silent, and Rin clamped his eyes shut, teeth chewing at his bottom lip.  "Okay, then," she said eventually, voice little more than a whisper. "I… I mean, if you are telling me it isn't like that, then I have to believe you.  Look… I should probably go. Take care of yourself, alright? You can call me anytime."

 

"Right.  Um, okay.  Thanks, Isuzu.  Have a good day."

  
  


*

  
  


_ This is bad, _ Rin groaned internally, water from the showerhead cascading over his shoulders.   _ It's… The scening turns me on.  Nothing more than that. I'm imagining him because he is my dom.  This is… about my Master. The things I do with my dom. _   A strangled moan pushed its way from his throat, his hand lathered with suds as it stroked roughly along his cock.   _ My Master's voice…  The way he touches me…  The way I feel when we're together.  This is normal. _

 

Rin's eyes fell shut, and he leaned his head back to catch the spray, sliding a hand up to brush gently over his nipple.  He let himself get lost in the sensations, barely noticing his own voice groaning raggedly over the splash of the water.  _ Oh fuck, his voice, and the way he smiles at me when the scene is done, like I'm the best thing he's ever seen…  The way his eyes sparkle when he teases me, like we are in on some joke the rest of the world knows nothing about. _

 

Thighs shaking, he propped himself against the wall with a hand, dragging the other lightly up his length, swirling it around his head as he bit back a moan.   _ That voice at my ear, dripping with sex, telling me how well I'm doing, how pretty he thinks I am…  Oh god, his lips on my ear, sliding down my neck, tongue licking up my sweat, tasting me… Rei, FUCK I want you to taste me.  Shit, and then he'd bite down and- _

 

His release was so sudden and strong his knees nearly gave out, and it wasn't until he was drifting down from his high that he realized he'd been whimpering a nearly non-stop mantra of "Rei, oh no, oh god," throughout.

 

Rin choked down the sudden urge to cry, letting his forehead thunk to the tiled wall.  His mind was racing, thoughts in an uproar, and he frowned guiltily down at his flagging arousal.  "This is not good," he muttered, frozen with guilt, unmoving until the shower ran cold.

  
  


*

  
  


Rei startled slightly, his concentration broken by a short buzz on the desk next to him.  Quickly finishing with the glue, he propped the pieces up so they wouldn't roll and slid his phone over.

  
  


Rin: Hey!  Whatcha doing?

Rei: I am… working on my model.  And you, Rin-san?

Rin: A model of what?

Rei: It is a WWII-era Japanese battleship.  I have settled in, and am now ready for your teasing.

Rin: Oh, wow.  I mean, yeah, that's some nerdy-ass stuff, but also pretty cool.

Rei: I certainly think so.  To what do I owe the pleasure, on this fine evening?

Rin: Oh yeah, right!  You got a free night this week?  I wanna check out a new restaurant, and I hate going by myself.

Rei: I'm free Wednesday and Friday evening, I believe.  Meeting Haruka and Makoto for a swim, Thursday. Ah! You should join us!

Rin: HA!  You should HEAR those assholes!  Apparently, they think I see you too often, and are super jealous of their time with you.  But I don't see you that often?? I mean… well, you know what I mean.

Rei: Of course.  I do talk to you and see you more often than them, to be fair.  Even… considering.

Rin: Huh.  Well anyways.  Got a preference, as far as tomorrow or Friday?  I could do either. Though the restaurant will likely be packed on a Friday.

Rei: What restaurant?

Rin: It's a hole in the wall, serves ramen.  Apparently it is AMAZING. I don't think it actually has a name.  It's on the corner across from that park with the weird tanuki statue.

Rei: I see.  In that case, perhaps tomorrow would be best.

Rin: Sweet!  7 pm sound okay?  We can just meet there.

Rei: I'll look forward to it.  Have a lovely night, Rin-san.

Rin: You too.

  
  


_ What am I doing? _ Rin thought, staring down at his phone.  After the 'shower debacle' Monday, he had decided to let a few weeks go by before contacting Rei again, figuring it was hard to 'fall' for someone if you never saw or spoke to them.  He'd ignored Isuzu's pointed questions during her training earlier in the evening, blowing her off with a 'I haven't even talked to him' and refusing to speak further about it. And here he was, approximately 48 hours after 'the incident'  _ (I came when I imagined him biting me??) _ , basically setting up a 'date'.   _ It's not a date.  I just enjoy spending time with my high school buddy.  And I need to review this restaurant for my blog. It's fine.  Can't go on a date with someone who doesn't know it's a date. Which it's not. _

 

Rin felt a wild giggle escape his chest.  "Oh my god, I'm an idiot," he moaned aloud, flopping dejectedly on to his back on the sofa.

  
  


*

  
  


"Rin-san!  Over here!" Rei exclaimed, raising a hand to catch Rin's attention.

 

_ He's so tall, _ Rin found himself thinking.   _ Oh god, and he looks really good… _   Rin refused to acknowledge he'd just gone through virtually every piece of clothing he owned, trying to strike the perfect balance of 'I look amazing' and 'I didn't even try'.  He used the time it took him to walk across the street to take in Rei's appearance; a navy blue sweater just tight enough to show off his impressive build, grey slacks hugging what Rin realized were some ridiculously thick thighs.   _ Fuuuuuuck… _

 

"Rei!  Thanks again for meeting me," Rin enthused, pasting on what he hoped was a natural smile.  "I hope you didn't have to stand around too long."

 

"I just got here myself," Rei quickly replied, smiling and pushing up the plastic sheeting separating the restaurant from the outside, holding it open for Rin.

 

_ IT'S LIKE A DATE HOLY SHIT, _ Rin's mind shoved forth, and he shook his head slightly before letting out a strained laugh and ducking into the space.

 

Rin had wanted to sit at the bar, feeling the experience was more 'authentic' that way, but the only available space was a booth tucked into the far corner of the restaurant, and Rin grumbled under his breath as they settled in.  "Why so busy on a Wednesday," he muttered, yanking the menu from the holder.

 

"I have to assume it means the food is as good as you've heard," Rei replied cheerily, taking a sip of his water before grabbing a menu for himself.  "I haven't eaten ramen in ages. I'm quite looking forward to it."

 

It didn't take them long to decide on their order, and Rin spent the next few minutes attempting to flag down the (obviously harried) waitress, leaning across the table to talk to Rei while he did.  "I can't remember… Did I ever tell you about my blog?"

 

"A blog?" Rei inquired, pulling his eyes from the room to land on Rin.  "I don't believe so."

 

"Well, it's nothing like, official or anything, but I write a food blog, where I review Tokyo restaurants, talk about my experiences there, discuss the foo- HEY!  Shit. Missed her again. Talk about the food I eat, recommend things, stuff like that. It's probably kinda stupid, but I have a lot of fun doing it, and I have a decent-sized readership."

 

"Really."  Rei dropped his chin to his hand, grinning.  "And is that why we are here, tonight?"

 

"Yes.  That, and I wanted to see you."  It was out of his mouth before he could stop it, and Rin forced himself to not pull a face, smiling back at Rei before letting his eyes dart away.   _ OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING… _   "Ma'am… MA'AM.  Ma'am…" Rin let his voice trail off, pitiful, and decided the next safest place to look was at his hands resting on the table.

 

"I enjoy our time together as well!" Rei easily agreed, leaning back in the booth to throw an arm across the seat.  "And I'm tickled to learn a little bit about what you do in your free time. A food blog, huh… Do you cook, as well?"

 

"I do.  And I'm just good enough to know you are better than me."

 

"Ah, this again.  I'd love to know what I've done to earn this 'I can do no wrong' reputation I seem to have, with you.  I could only wish the people I work with felt the same." Rei chuckled softly, taking another small sip of water.  "Do you share recipes, as well? On this blog?"

 

Rin's eyes snapped up, a tiny 'oh' of surprise on his lips.  "Holy… dude. No, but that is a fantastic idea. Oh shit! That would be an awesome way to keep up regular content without having to bankrupt myself eating out all the time."

 

Eyebrows lifting, Rei's face broke into the brightest smile Rin could recall seeing.  "Oh! Well then! I'm delighted to have helped!"

 

Conversation turned to favorite recipes, what sort of content would likely draw the most reads, and a heated discussion regarding whether pictures of the process and end result were necessary (it was eventually decided that, yes, pictures were best).  Rin was elated, scribbling their ideas onto the back of a napkin, when Rei quietly cleared his throat. "Ahm… Rin-san. I certainly do not wish to… create a problem where there is none, but… We've been here for almost 20 minutes, and no one has come to take our order."

 

Rin blinked slowly, peeking at his phone on the table beside him to verify that, yes, indeed, it had been 19 minutes since they'd been seated.  "Wow…" he finally breathed. "This food better be damn-"

 

"So uh… what do you want," a voice deadpanned, and both Rin and Rei turned slowly to the man who had appeared out of nowhere beside their table.  He looked like he'd been plucked from his bed, hair sticking out strangely from one side, and clothes rumpled. Neither could muster a response at first, and the man let out a long-suffering sigh.  "It's come to our attention that the wait is like… pretty much forever tonight, so we'd like to offer you complimentary drinks."

 

"Complimentary…" Rin whispered, confused as hell, trying to decide whether this guy was actually with the restaurant or another customer yanking their chain.

 

A large pitcher of beer was unceremoniously thumped to the table in front of them, two glasses none-too-delicately slammed down beside it.  "On the house," Rumple-man muttered. "So what do you want to eat."

 

Rin's eyes flew to Rei when Rei was unable to hold in a strangled giggle, and then the two were gritting their teeth through choked laughter and trying to settle down, the man watching impassively as they caught their breath.

 

The man's hand fell to his hip, and he looked so put out, Rin began to wonder if this was some sort of practical joke.  "I could tell you the specials, though honestly I think we're sold out of most of that shit."

 

"That won't be necessary," Rei stated in a strained voice, finally reining himself in.  Rin was lost again, tittering uncontrollably while Rei gave the man their orders and shooed him off.  When his gaze returned to Rin, his eyes were wide, a shocked smile turning one corner of his lips. "What in the actual HELL was that?" Rei hissed, trying desperately not to laugh again.

 

"When the wait gets too long, they send in their customer service ace," Rin wheezed, pouring them both a glass from the pitcher.  "I mean, but free beer, right? 'College Me' would be so excited…"

 

Rei had a look on his face like nothing would ever surprise him again, shaking his head slowly back and forth, eyes unblinking.  "Did he really just say 'shit'?"

 

Rin shot him an amused smirk.  "Did YOU really just say 'shit'?  Quite a mouth you've got on you, Rei."

 

"You'd be surprised," Rei murmured, lifting his glass, and Rin was suddenly incredibly grateful they were seated at a table rather than the bar, figuring his immediately flushed cheeks were at least slightly more subtle than the abrupt swelling beneath his fly.

 

_ Not like I didn't know before, but yeah.  I can deny it from here to hell and back, but…  Holy shit. I want him. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? And why did I do this?  DINNER, am I INSANE? And we already ordered… I had forever to bail, but now I'm stuck. _   Rin wanted to run to the bathroom so badly, to call Isuzu and apologize for everything he'd ever said and done in his life and beg her for her help, but he wasn't going ANYWHERE with his pants tented the way they were.   _ Change the subject.  Talk about anything else.  Anything besides his… mouth.  Fuck. _

 

"SO!" Rin hollered, much too loudly, and saw Rei startle.  "What uh… Like, what do you do when you aren't working, and, you know, not…"  He waved his hand in a circle in the air, as if that explained everything. "Not doing other stuff?"

 

Rei's eyebrows drew together slightly, and he squinted across the table, obviously picking up on Rin's discomfort.  "Are you alright? You seem-"

 

"Totally fine!" Rin interrupted, smiling, and nodded encouragingly.  "Seriously, what do you do besides work, cook, and make replicas of warships?"

 

It was obvious Rei was unconvinced by Rin's performance, but not really seeing any other options, he shrugged and leaned back, downing another swig of beer.  "I tutor. College students. Maths and hard sciences. I've been doing it since I was a grad student, and had the far-fetched idea that I wanted to be a professor, someday."

 

"Wow!  Ryuugazaki Sensei, eh?" Rin joked, sending angry thoughts to his cock when it seemed to find the title anything BUT funny.  "Why 'far-fetched'?"

 

Rei hummed, thoughtful, and looked back out over the restaurant.  "You know… I'm not sure. All through school, that was my plan. But then I received a job offer from the corporation I work at now.  They… pursued me very diligently. I think I was a bit taken in with how badly they seemed to want me. And the pay, of course, was much better than I could have hoped to do, as a new teacher."

 

"Really.  Huh. I guess I never pegged you as the materialistic sort," Rin huffed, downing half his beer in one gulp.  "But I guess I can see how it would be easy to be sucked in by a fancy corporation that was basically 'courting' you."

 

"There's something to be said for not having to be concerned about whether or not the bills get paid," Rei retorted, his eyes sharp when they landed on Rin.  "Materialism has nothing to do with it. I've always lived simply."

 

"Says the guy that has a house AND an apartment," Rin shot back, a smug grin on his face.

 

Rei's face twisted into a horrified grimace, fingers clenching into a fist on the table.  "FUCK you," he hissed, and Rin's eyes blew wide. "I'm doing the best I can. No one knows, at 18 years old, what the rest of their life is going to look like.  I would imagine you can identify, Mr. Pro Swimmer."

 

Rin's mouth dropped, his beer halfway to his lips, and Rei instantly balked, his face so shocked Rin wasn't sure what was even going on.  "Oh my god, Rin-san. I…" Jaw clenching, Rei locked his gaze on the table. "My god. I'm so terribly sorry. I've been… Things are not going well at work, and I had no idea I was so… sensitive about it.  I had no right to say what I did. That was stunningly inappropriate and insensitive of-"

 

Rei cut off when Rin began to laugh, the quiet sound quickly growing into loud, happy chuckles, and Rei watched in confusion as Rin waved a hand back and forth, sucking in breaths.  "No… Rei… It's fine…" he wheezed. "It was… Oh wow." Gathering himself together, Rin paused for a few heaving inhales. "That was my fault. I meant for it to be a joke, but I didn't realize… things were bad.  And I'm not… laughing at you. Or I mean… You just told me… Oh my god, the day I hear Ryuugazaki Rei tell me to go fuck myself…"

 

Rei's cheeks were bright red, his eyes scrunched shut as he gripped the glass in front of him so hard, Rin idly wondered if it would shatter.  "It's no excuse, Rin-san, but… Things are terrible, at work. I'm completely at my wit's end. I don't know how much longer I can do it. I'm sorry I became so defensive about it.  To bring up your swimming career was absolutely deplorable, and I feel awful. I hope you can forgive me."

 

"Rei.  Rei, I'm serious.  It's not a big deal.  You are allowed to get angry, sometimes, you know?  Holy shit, if you get this upset with yourself for something like this, I can't even IMAGINE how much shit you're holding in.  It doesn't matter to me, at all, okay?" When Rei refused to look up, Rin reached across the table, gripping Rei's hand. "IT DOESN'T MATTER.  I mean it. God damn. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me, okay?"

 

Rin's heart clenched when Rei lifted his eyes, his long lashes and solemn, chastised expression making him look like a penitent child.  "If you're sure," he breathed, and Rin wondered what would happen if he just leaned across the table, snuck a hand into Rei's hair, and pressed his lips-

 

"Enjoy," muttered Rumple-man, slamming their bowls onto the table and turning away before either of them could register his presence.  Rin yanked his hand from Rei's like he'd been burned, and the two stared in surprise at the broth slopped onto the table.

 

A moment of silence- the length of perhaps two-heartbeats- reigned, and then the two were hysterically giggling.  "Oh dear," Rei whimpered, wiping at his eyes beneath his glasses. "I cannot wait to read your review of this place."

 

A very undignified snort erupted from Rin's nose, which sent the two of them even further into hysterics.  "Oh my god!" Rin cried, napkin over his face. "Come get a bowl of ramen from a man that clearly wishes you were dead.  Itadakimasu!"

 

Rei nodded, breathless, and he quickly refilled their beers while Rin slid the bowls over, shaking his head that he had to switch them.  "How good does the ramen have to be, to come back?" Rei finally whispered, tossing back an enormous drink. "If I do not climax in my pants at the very first bite, this will be my last visit to this esteemed establishment."

 

"REI," Rin hissed, snickering helplessly.  "God damn, you can't just SAY stuff like that!"

 

"Can I not?  I mean, you tell ME, Rin-san!  What's the 'pull', here? Why would one deliberately set foot in this place, unless the food is 'I just came untouched' good?"

 

"Stop talking about blowing your wad!" Rin guffawed, throwing a pair of disposable chopsticks at his cackling dinnermate.  "I'm trying to EAT!"

 

Rei offered a slight bow.  "My humblest apologies for accompanying you to this place and offering my honest opinion."  Rin could hear his chuckling from across the table, and shook his head, jabbing Rei's bicep with his own chopsticks.

 

"Eat, asshole."

 

"Roger, sir," Rei tittered, and a comfortable silence fell as they tore into their meals.  Neither noticed when they finished their pitcher, 'I-Hate-You-And-This-Job'-san replacing it with a fresh one while they ate.

 

They were halfway through the second pitcher when Rei finally looked up, groaning.  "Okay, this is really good."

 

Nodding emphatically, Rin shovelled more noodles into his mouth.  "Damn good," he slurred around his mouthful. "Did you blow in your pants?"

 

"Luckily, no," Rei snorted, finishing off his bowl with a tilt and a delicate slurp.  "Might have a ramen-induced erection, though."

 

_ I've had too much to drink, _ Rin's mind stuttered out, his eyes locking with Rei's.  "You're hard?" he heard his mouth say.  _ NO OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME… _

 

"It was a joke, Rin-san."  Dropping his bowl to the table, Rei stretched his arms over his head, his breath poofing his lips.  "Did I ever tell you my ex was a chef?"

 

"What?" Rin cried, then realized he still had a mouthful of food and slammed his mouth shut, chewing.  "She went to the US to be a CHEF?"

 

A surprised laugh burst from Rei's mouth, and Rin blinked, not understanding.  "Dear god, Rin-san. No. Not that ex. The ex of 'the apron', I suppose."

 

Rin's eyes grew huge, and he leaned forward, nearly tipping his bowl.  "No shit."

 

"No shit," Rei replied, laughing.  "He worked for that restaurant where ah… you and I first 'ran into' each other.  A few years ago. Very good at his job. He moved to Kyoto when we split. As far as I've heard, he's doing well for himself.  I'm hardly surprised; he was very talented."

 

_ Jesus fucking Christ, he dates men.  I guess I'll just die, now. MATSUOKA, THINK OF SOMETHING NORMAL TO SAY. _   "Are you two still friends?" Rin pushed out, forcing a smile to his face.

 

"Not at all," Rei chirped, lifting his napkin from his lap and folding it, dropping it to the table.  "I occasionally get emails from his mother. To be truthful, I think she almost preferred me to her son."

 

"Seriously?  What, was he an asshole or something?"

 

"Oh…"  Rei's eyes fixed on the wall behind Rin.  "No. He wasn't an asshole. Just… very focused on what he wanted."

 

Rin had given up on his food at this point, shoving his bowl aside so he could lean forward, forearms on the table.  "So like… self centered?"

 

"Mm," Rei offered, shrugging.  "I mean, in my opinion, yes. What I needed and wanted seemed to be of little consequence, to him.  But to be fair, I've always been a people-pleaser. I'd been going along with whatever he said for so long, it took me a while to realize I'd never bothered to ask for what I wanted."

 

"Rei…"  Rin wished he hadn't had so much to drink, finding it hard to come up with a response.  "I mean… so like, did you eventually ask?"

 

"Not really," Rei sighed, long finger swirling the ends of his chopsticks around the lip of his bowl.  "I stuck up for myself in only one way, really, and that was not wanting to live together. And he eventually broke me down on that, too."

 

"Oh yeah, I remember you mentioning that.  Why didn't you want to live with him?"

 

Rei raised his eyes to Rin, dropping his hands to his lap.  "He wanted a 24/7 dom/sub relationship, and I did not."

 

Rin's mouth formed a small 'oh'.  "I don't exactly… I mean, I'm not sure what that means, but…  I'm sorry you guys couldn't figure it out."

 

"It isn't important.  Honestly, it's different for everyone that does it.  He knew what I wanted but kept pushing. And I felt like I was letting him down, like I didn't love him or was rejecting who he was as a person by not doing everything I could to make him happy.  I gave and gave, and he just kept taking. Perhaps this is too personal, Rin-san, but… I was never allowed to simply 'make love' to him. I wasn't allowed any sexual contact at all unless it was in the context of D/s."  Cheeks flushing, Rei gritted his teeth, eyes turned to the side. "In hindsight, that relationship was a 4-year long denial of who I was. It's… taken me some time, to remember what I find joyful and important, in life."

 

Shellshocked, Rin couldn't muster even the smallest response, and Rei was silent as well, the two eventually noticing the noise of the restaurant around them had quieted.

 

Rei grabbed his phone, his eyebrows raising at the time.  "Dear god, we've been here for two and a half hours."

 

Sucking in a long breath, Rin realized he was beginning to tap out, the beer making him tired and a bit slow on the uptake.  His head was buzzing nicely, his belly full, and he found himself wishing he were somewhere curled up asleep, lazy and sated and wrapped in Rei's arms.   _ FUCK. _   "Right," he managed.

 

Rei was up from the table before Rin could piece together what he was doing, and by the time he came back, he was waving their paid ticket in the air, shit-eating grin on his face.  "All the beer was free, and they gave us 50% off the food because we had to 'deal with Eiji-chan'. Apparently, he doesn't normally work here, but they ran upstairs and got him when it became clear they needed help."

 

"Jesus," Rin laughed, sliding from the booth.  "Oh…" he whispered, feeling decidedly tipsy. "Always worse when you stand up, huh?"  When his eyes met Rei's, Rei was smiling.

 

"It is.  Can you make it outside?"

 

"Of course," Rin snapped, and the two made their way to the sidewalk, Rin only wobbling once before getting out the door.

 

Once they were clear of the restaurant, heading towards the station, Rei put a hand on Rin's shoulder.  "Hey," he laughed, pulling him to a stop. "You look like you're about to fall over."

 

"I'm actually fine," Rin stated as crisply as he could.  "I had less than a pitcher of beer. I'm not going to fall on my face or anything."

 

Rei didn't respond, stepping closer and dragging Rin's arm up over his shoulders.  "I have complete faith in you, Rin-san. I'll simply let YOU hold ME up, okay?"

 

_ Oh my god… _ Rin's mind screeched, knees nearly giving out when Rei wrapped his arm around Rin's waist, holding his other hand to keep Rin's arm tight around his shoulders.   _ Oh sweet Jesus I am a gay disaster, and I want in my high school buddy's pants, oh god, oh no… _   Rin counted it as a blessing that he seemed too tipsy to get a hard-on, and trudged silently toward the train station, eyes on the ground.

 

The two walked quietly for several minutes, Rin doing his best to unobtrusively melt into the man beside him.  "Rin-san," Rei finally murmured. "I've been meaning to ask."

 

"Eh?"  Rin did his best to focus, smiling and looking up at his friend.   _ MISTAKE!  OH GOD HE'S SO MUCH HOTTER FROM UP CLOSE, OH KILL ME… _

 

"It's Wednesday, Rin-san.  I suppose… I wondered if you were going to contact me to set up another playdate."

 

Rin was fairly certain he could have been stone-cold sober, and hearing Rei, REI, openly discussing their 'arrangement' outside of their emails would have made him trip over his feet anyhow.  As it turned out, he most definitely tripped over his feet. Or, to be technical, he tripped over REI's foot, which helped neither of them keep their balance, and Rei just barely had the presence of mind to fall toward the building so he could catch them against the wall, rather than faceplanting into the sidewalk.

 

Rin could tell Rei was speaking, laughing even, but couldn't focus on his words, his eyes locked onto the movement of his lips, the feel of Rei's hand at his waist, the weight of Rei pushed up against his side.  Instinct led him to flip Rei roughly against the wall, and when Rei's eyes flew wide, Rin came back to himself enough to realize he had pressed himself entirely against his shocked friend, trapping one hand above his head and gripping the other at his waist as tightly as he could.

 

Rin could feel the feathering of Rei's breath huffing over his own mouth and nose, rapid and shallow, and Rin quickly wetted his lips.  "Anyone ever tell you you're a pretty fascinating guy?" Rin whispered, never breaking eye contact.

 

Rei was completely still, clearly stunned into silence, so Rin tried again.  "I think you're pretty interesting, anyway."

 

A hair's breadth more and their noses would have touched, and Rin found himself holding his breath, wanting Rei to close the gap.  When, a couple seconds later, Rei whispered "Rin-san?" and turned his head away, eyes falling to the pavement, Rin had to hold in a visceral scream, suddenly more brutally sober than he'd ever been in his life.  

 

_ OH MY GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD.  What did I just DO? _   Rin leapt backward, taking a split second to catch his balance before he began stalking as fast as he could toward the station.  He could hear Rei immediately following, voice urgent as he tried to catch his attention, but Rin couldn't bring himself to turn around or meet his gaze, picking up as much speed as he could without all-out running.

 

Rei watched Rin's back, quickly pulling away, and came to a stop, mind whirring.   _ What was THAT? _   Rei sucked in a deep breath, then set off after him again, long legs catching up quickly.   _ No, I know exactly what that was.  But… why? _

 

"Rin-san."  Rei stayed a couple steps behind, not wanting to push Rin into feeling like he had to run.  "Rin-san, are you alright?"

 

"You would ask that," Rin grated out, a harsh laugh shaking his shoulders.  "I'm not the one that just got thrown up against a wall and manhandled. Quit worrying about ME, Rei."

 

"It's fine," Rei offered, voice soft.  "You didn't hurt me. I just… want to make sure you are okay."

 

Rin whipped around, coming to an abrupt halt, and Rei mirrored his movements perfectly, the two holding perfectly still beneath the orange streetlight.  "I've had too much to drink, and I acted like an ass." Rin scrubbed his hands through his hair, leaving it a wild mess when he let his arms fall to his sides.  "I'm sorry, Rei. I don't know what the hell came over me. I hope you'll just… forget about that."

 

Rin watched as Rei's face fell into an absolutely unreadable expression.  "You were going to kiss me."

 

Rin growled, turning around to stomp away, throwing his hands in the air.  "Yeah well, I'm apparently an affectionate drunk. I'm fucking SORRY, Rei."

 

"Oh!" Rei cried, jogging to catch up.  "I didn't realize! I was afraid I'd done something to lead you to believe that was something I wanted!  I didn't know you were that way with everyone, when you'd been drinking."  

 

Rin tilted his head away, hiding the anguished grimace pulling his lips from his teeth as Rei continued.  "Please, don't be hard on yourself about it, okay? It seems this evening is a bit of a comedy of errors, honestly.  You know, despite all of this, I've had a wonderful time."

 

"God-damnit, Rei," Rin chewed out, nearly inaudible.   _ WHY IS HE SO STUPID KIND AND PERFECT!  And I will never forget what those eyes looked like up close.  I need to talk to Isuzu. I need to never see this guy again. I need his tongue in my mouth.  HELP ME GOD, what should I do? _   "Listen… I'm gonna walk to the next station over.  I feel like I could use the fresh air. Thanks for uh, for coming out with me, tonight.  I'm sorry it all went to shit."

 

"What a lovely idea!" Rei chirped, stepping right alongside.  "It will help us sober up, and make the ride ba-"

 

"Rei."  It took Rei a moment to realize Rin had stopped, and he turned back, expression quizzical.  "Rei, thank you but… I'd like some time alone."

 

Rei paused for the briefest moment, head tilting, before he began walking back, face blank, offering Rin a tiny salute.  "Roger," Rei breathed, patting Rin softly on the shoulder as he passed. "Please get home safely."

 

Something about the tone of Rei's voice during that simple admonishment made Rin's stomach turn with trepidation, and he found himself watching until Rei strode around the corner, out of sight.

  
  


*

  
  


Rei let the door swing closed behind him, stepping out of his shoes.  Depositing his keys and wallet in their usual spot, he carried himself to the living room, tugging his phone from his pocket.   _ I believe I could use my 'comfort' playlist, _ Rei mused, quickly swiping and setting it up.  He tugged his sweater over his head, throwing it to the living room floor, eyes closing briefly at his own petulance.   _ Perhaps I'm a bit agitated.  I don't see that it matters. No one has to know. _

 

Deciding he was tired of his slacks, he made his way to the bedroom, digging around for his favorite pair of sweatpants.  Once he'd ditched his glasses and was satisfactorily clad, he padded back out in bare feet, flopping himself lengthwise on the couch.   _ So…  What the hell was that? _   He let the music roll over him, his eyes falling closed.   _ I would have never guessed Rin-san was the sort to use people.  But what else could that have been? I no sooner came out to him than he was trapping me against a wall. _   Rei peeled his eyes open, staring blankly at the ceiling.   _ Clearly, that sort of thing means a bit less to him than it does to me. _

 

Huffing, Rei wriggled to his side, wondering if he should put on a documentary, knowing it would distract him for the time being, but what was his plan for after that?   _ I'm angry.  God DAMN it.  And of course, in the moment, I did whatever I could to make HIM feel comfortable.  Because god FUCKING FORBID I ever let anyone know if I'm displeased. _   Rei had the coaster in his hand and was launching it- HARD- at the wall before he even realized what he was doing.

 

_ This is so stupid, _ he raged to himself, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.   _ An 'affectionate drunk'?  What the actual… And like our current 'relationship' isn't complicated enough!  Jesus! _   He could feel himself growing more and more furious, so he sat up, digging his fingernails into his palms.   _ Get a hold of yourself.  Tantrums are for children. _

 

Unsure of his end goal, Rei drug his laptop across the table, needing to talk to SOMEONE, and pulled up Skype.  Rei wagered there was maybe a 15% chance Nagisa would answer, considering the hour, but answer he did.

 

"REI-CHAN!!  Oh dear god, why are you naked?"

 

"I'm clearly not naked," Rei intoned, snugging his legs beneath him.  "How are you?"

 

Nagisa plopped into his chair, swiveling to the camera.  "I'm… fine? Why are you calling me at half past midnight?"

 

"It's only 10:30 here, Nagisa.  Though I do apologize for disturbing you so late.  Hang on a second." Rei decided it was high time for another beer, hightailing it to the kitchen to retrieve his prize, settling back onto the couch while Nagisa watched with obvious apprehension.  "I need to speak with you."

 

Nagisa's face pulled into a strange mixture of a smile and a grimace.  "Um… okay? Like… I was just about to go to bed."

 

Rei held up his beer in a toast, a sarcastic laugh bellowing from his throat.  "Then I won't keep you long. I'm just… a bit angry, and could use some advice."

 

"Angry?"  Nagisa leaned forward, brows furrowed in concern.  "What's going on?"

 

Rei pushed his breath out in a tiny hiss from his teeth.  "If, let's say, a man you just came out to, like, literally within the last hour, pinned you against a wall, and this was someone you had no reason to view as a romantic or sexual partner in any way prior… like, imagine a coworker or something.  If he did that, what would be your opinion on that situation?"

 

Eyes huge, Nagisa, slowly drug himself closer to the screen.  "Oh, Rei-chan."

 

Rei threw back at least half the bottle, eyes never leaving the screen, making a satisfied 'pah' sound when he pulled it from his lips.

 

"Is he hot?"

 

"Irrelevant.  Answer my question."

 

Slamming his hand to his desk, Nagisa shoved his face to the camera.  "It's not irrelevant. IS. HE. HOT."

 

"He is stunning.  Proceed."

 

"Hnnnnng…" Nagisa whined, jerking himself back and forth in his chair.  "Okay… So you're asking me what I'd think if I JUST came out to this guy, and now he's all up in my business, when he hadn't given me the time of day, before?"

 

Shaking his head slowly, Rei visibly stretched his jaw, trying to relax.  "No… That isn't quite right either. Let me think a moment. Okay, so… The way you phrased that makes it sound like you were pursuing him prior.  What if that wasn't true? Imagine this came out of NOWHERE."

 

"REI-CHAN, WHAT THE HELL???" Nagisa shrieked, grabbing the armrests of his chair so hard his arms shook.  "WHO ASSAULTED YOU??? Are you okay? Is this why you're naked?? Oh my GOD…"

 

"DEAR GOD, I AM OBVIOUSLY NOT NAKED AND WOULD YOU PLEASE SETTLE DOWN, HOLY SHIT!" Rei boomed, slamming his beer to the table so hard it foamed up over the lip of the bottle.  "I am already freaking out and I don't need this additional stress!!" Nagisa looked like a kicked puppy, and Rei did his best to calm himself. "I've not been assaulted, Nagisa.  My… 'honor' is intact. Whatever that means."

 

"Reeeeiii-chaaaan…" Nagisa whimpered, and Rei swore he could see a wicked spark in Nagisa's 'empathetic frown'.

 

"JESUS CHRIST!" Rei screamed, bolting from the living room.  When he returned, he was wearing a t-shirt, and the glare he fixed on his best friend when he sat back down could have melted icebergs.  "I am now so far from naked that if 'naked' were you, I would be me, here in Japan, HATING YOU AND WISHING YOU WOULD TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY."

 

"Well, that's better," Nagisa lilted cheerfully, pushing himself from the desk to spin around in the middle of the room.  "So some hot guy you've never even noticed before wants to lick all up in your mouth, and you don't know what to do?"

 

Rei's chin dropped to his chest in exasperation.  "I suppose, if you boil it down to its bare essence, yes.  But what if the hot guy is someone you worked with very closely?  Like, a partner on a long-term project?"

 

"But you don't date coworkers," Nagisa helpfully offered.

 

"NAGISA.  This is… a hypothetical.  You are absolutely correct."

 

Nagisa quietly stood, staring Rei down before disappearing offscreen.

 

_ Why on EARTH did I think Nagisa would be the answer, here??  I think I might be MORE angry than when I called! _   Rei's attention was caught as Nagisa stepped back in view, lowering himself carefully into the chair, cracking the top on a can of beer and ripping off his shirt.

 

"Okay, Rei-chan.  I can tell this is serious, for you.  I will drink beer and be naked, too."

 

Rei counted to 10, letting his eyes fall closed, lest he somehow shoot his best friend a glare so deadly, it could end him through the power of the internet.  Without opening his eyes, Rei started over. "Okay. So imagine this is a coworker you've known for a long time. Worked with on several projects prior." Rei shuffled slightly, stretching a leg out onto the couch beside him.  "The two of you have worked happily and successfully together. And the two of you head out for dinner to celebrate another successful project, something like that. And you have a few beers, and admit that you date men. And as soon as you leave the place, he pins you to a wall, looking for all the world like he would literally devour you, if he could."  Rei let out a slow breath. "It just… felt very predatory."

 

When Rei opened his eyes, Nagisa had a completely blank look on his face.  "Rei-chan. Who did this."

 

"It's a hypothetica-"

 

"You don't associate with coworkers outside of work.  This is someone you know. Someone you've known. Tell me."

 

_ FUCK. _   "Nagisa, no.  It… is a colleague of mine, and we met years ago, through work.  I've known him for a long time. I was.. caught off guard."

 

Nagisa stared Rei down, glugging the entire beer until it was gone, never breaking eye contact.  Crushing the can in his hand, he swooped forward. "BULLSHIT."

 

Rei didn't flinch, adopting his 'bored' face.  "I have called you for advice. If you have nothing to offer, I'll let you go.  I apologize for contacting you so late."

 

"Fine," Nagisa whispered.  Eyes locked on something off-camera, Nagisa sat up straight in his chair.  "If you want advice, here it is. Do you WANT his tongue in your mouth? Do you want to lick all up in his mouth?  Answer those two questions. Whatever else you're freaking out about is dumb. You think too much." When Nagisa turned back to the camera, his eyes were hard.  "You're lying to me, and I'm angry with you. Give me a day or so."

 

Rei blinked rapidly as Nagisa ended the call, his laptop going dark.   _ What just happened?  Shit, I should have known I couldn't hide much of anything, from him. _   Groaning, Rei let himself fall back against the sofa, face pulled into a pout.   _ I had no intention of angering Nagisa.  But of course he'd be angry. He could tell I wasn't being truthful.  SHIT. _   Just as he leaned forward to grab his phone, it buzzed on the table.

  
  


Nagisa: REI-CHAN I LOVE YOU

Nagisa: You hurt my feelings and I got mad but

Nagisa: You are still my favorite person ever

Nagisa: but legit do not call me for a couple days

  
  


Rei stared quietly at his phone, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.   _ So dramatic. _   He was still considering his response when the next message came through.

  
  


Nagisa: Don't lie to me anymore, okay?  That was awful.

  
  


Sighing, Rei fell to his side, face squished into the sofa.   _ I can't promise him that.  I despise lying to him, and this entire mess with Rin-san- the scening and the… affection- is becoming frustrating beyond belief.  But it also isn't my secret to share. _

  
  


Rei: I love you, Nagi.  I'm sorry I lied to you.  Call me when you're ready.

Nagisa: ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW

Rei: I can't.

Nagisa: Rei-chan, I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, but if you can't even tell ME about it, maybe you shouldn't be doing it.  But you know what? Good for you. You have been way too responsible your entire life. Go do something crazy. Get your mouth licked. I dare you.

Rei: Heh.  Right. Thanks, Nagisa.

Nagisa: And now do not contact me for two days.  

Rei: 10-4.  Have a good night.

Nagisa: I SAID NOT TO CONTACT ME

  
  


When Rei fell into bed that night, his thoughts kept him tossing and turning.   _ Maybe Nagisa is right, and I'm just over-reacting to this.  I assumed Rin was being selfish, but maybe he was genuinely just thinking it would be a silly, unimportant thing we would both enjoy.  I have no idea what I did to give him that impression, but there's no need for me to assume he's a terrible person for what he did. He's certainly attractive, and in a different universe, I could perhaps see us indulging in such behavior, but with things as they stand, not only is he my friend, but my sub.  This is complicated enough. No need to add to the existing list of- _

 

The buzz from Rei's nightstand pulled a sigh from his chest, and he slowly opened his eyes, reaching over to bring the screen to his face.

  
  


Rin: Rei.  I'm so sorry.  That was so many levels of messed up, and I'm so embarrassed I want to toss myself from a bridge.  Also, I am apparently going for a world record for how often I can use the word 'so' in a text message.

Rei: I appreciate the apology, Rin-san.  Let's just forget about it. No harm, no foul.

Rin: Are you mad at me?  You seemed kinda weird when you left.

Rei: I was angry, but I'm not any longer.  Your apology is accepted. Please get some rest, and put it out of your mind.

  
  


Oblivious to the turmoil he'd just caused, Rei slid his phone back to the nightstand, and was asleep by the time an incredibly anguished Rin managed a reply.

  
  


*

  
  


"I'm excited to see your place!" Isuzu gushed, shucking off her shoes and looking around.  "Wow, you're a neat freak, huh?"

 

Rin shrugged, heading to the kitchen.  "I guess. You cool with just like… some chicken and rice and veggies?"

 

The mention of dinner reminded Isuzu of exactly why she was there in the first place, and she took up residence on the kitchen counter, nodding emphatically.  "I will be happy with anything you make. But you can talk and cook at the same time. We aren't at the gym anymore, so spill. What is this enormous 'fuck up' you texted about in the middle of the night?"

 

Rin continued to move through the kitchen, gathering ingredients and preparing the rice cooker, eventually coming to a stop with his hands on the counter, facing away.  "I tried to kiss Rei, last night." When Isuzu didn't immediately respond, Rin felt a harsh laugh rip from his throat. "Feel free to get all your 'I told you so's out now.  I deserve them."

 

Utter silence hung in the room, and Rin finally whirled around, angry words dying on his lips at finding Isuzu with her eyes closed, face pulled into a cringe.  "Isuzu?" Rin prodded, ashamed at how small his voice sounded.

 

Eyes opening, Isuzu stared sadly at him, hands clenching into fists.  "I assume, since you used the word 'try', it did not go well."

 

"You could say that," Rin muttered, turning back to the counter and roughly yanking the cutting board over.  "I didn't actually, like, KISS him, but I made it really clear I wanted to. I basically had the guy trapped up against a building."  Muscle memory took over, Rin making short work of the carrots as he continued. "He was pissed."

 

"Pissed?" Isuzu breathed, scooting off the counter to dig around in the fridge.  "Tell me exactly what happened." She let out a triumphant cry, beer in hand as she returned to her perch.

 

Rin moved on to the onion, trying to gather his thoughts before replying.  "Right. Right, um… So we ate dinner together at a ramen place. We had both had a bit to drink, and I was probably…  No, scratch that. I was definitely a bit out of it. Stumbling, and stuff. He uh…" He paused, dumping the veggies into an oiled pan and starting the burner before turning back to the cutting board.  "He was kinda holding me up. Like, I wasn't that far gone or anything, but he had my arm draped over his shoulders, and was like… hanging on to my waist. Looking back on it now, he was just being a good friend, making sure I didn't faceplant or something, but I think at the time, I thought maybe he was flirting?  Or like, even if he wasn't, that maybe it could easily turn into that?"

 

"This is pretty different than what you were saying Monday.  When you called from the closet." Despite herself, Isuzu giggled slightly, pushing it down when Rin gave her a pitiful frown.

 

Rin kept at his dinner prep, a huge sigh puffing from his nose.  "Yeah. I guess… I did some thinking. And you were right. I'm not looking at him… platonically, anymore."  Tossing a wry smile over his shoulder, Rin snickered. "Dinner was agony. I have no idea what I was thinking.  I feel like I probably just stared, drooling the entire night."

 

Isuzu nodded, chuckling.  "I bet. But… go on. I'm not certain I understand how you got from 'this guy is my friend' to 'I'm gonna molest him against a building'."

 

"Yeah.  Well um…  So he talked a little about his ex, while we were eating.  And it was a dude. And my brain's doing these ecstatic cartwheels, basically, like OH SHIT I HAVE A CHANCE."

 

"HE DATES MEN??" Isuzu cried, leaping from the counter to shake Rin by the shoulders.  "What?? Oh my god… Okay, I'm sorry, go on."

 

Rin slid the chicken into the oven, then turned to lean against the counter.  "So we left, walking to the train station. Which was when he was holding me up.  And I tripped, and we ended up against a wall. And I just… moved without thinking.  Shoved him against it and had my damned face so close to his I could see little scratches on his glasses.  I said… something. I don't remember exactly, but it was some dumb attempt at flirting. And he just stared.  Like, he looked horrified. Turned his face away."

 

Isuzu said nothing, watching him quietly, and Rin shrugged.  "So I let him go, blamed it on the alcohol, and got the fuck out of there.  But not before he could express his ENORMOUS RELIEF that he hadn't done anything to…  What the hell did he say? Something like 'I'm so glad I didn't do anything that would make you think I wanted that'.  Along those lines. It was humiliating. And he was just so NICE about it. I didn't actually find out he was pissed until later, when I texted him to apologize."

 

"Is he still mad?"

 

"He says he's not.  Accepted my apology and told me to forget about it.  Heh. God. Yeah, I'll just do that."

 

The two didn't say much after that, Isuzu helping Rin plate the food when it was ready, and they ate in sober silence, Isuzu pushing her empty plate away before she spoke again.  "You can't scene with him anymore," she eventually murmured, watching him carefully.

 

A humorless chuckle floated from his chest, and Rin dropped his forehead to his hand.  "Isuzu, I'm not even sure I can stand to SEE the guy again. I know damned well I shouldn't scene with him."   _ Not that it matters; I already hit the self-destruct button. _

 

"Oh…  Rin." Isuzu looked unbelievably sad, and Rin closed his eyes, not wanting to see it.  "Don't let this destroy your friendship. Just… Don't scene together, and maybe don't DRINK together, and…  Things will be fine."

 

"I KNOW all that, god.  I know. But…" Rin jabbed rough fingers at his chopsticks, sending them clattering over the table.  "Isuzu," he whispered. "I want him."

 

"Rin-"

 

"However I can have him, I want him.  Maybe I can't touch him and kiss him, but I'm not willing to give up the rest.  So. I guess we'll see how it goes. Operation 'Pretend It Never Happened' is a go."

 

Abruptly standing from the table, Isuzu grabbed their dishes, scowling as she took them to the kitchen.  "You're going to scene with him again, aren't you. This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard."

 

_ No sense in lying to her.  God, I'm an idiot. _   "Yes," came Rin's response.  "I've already emailed him to set it up."

 

The wild-eyed glare she shot him over the counter made Rin's breath catch.  "I can't BELIEVE you! Why are you DOING this to yourself? Oh my GOD, Rin…"  Darting her eyes over the dishes, she slammed her hands to the counter on either side of the sink.  "I was going to offer to clean up, but honestly, I think I should go before I say something I regret.  Rin, PLEASE think about this a bit more. You're going to get hurt."

 

Rin didn't even try to reply, simply watching as she gathered her things.  "Rin, please," she offered one last time, face pleading, and when he held silent, she shook her head and left.

  
  


*

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Next playdate  
Message:  
Master, 

What's your schedule like?

Your pet

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Next playdate  
Message:  
My pet, 

Believe it or not, my Friday opened up.  8-10? Next week?

Thank you,

Your Master

  
  


_ What on earth am I doing? _ Rei groaned to himself, staring holes into his day planner.  Quickly pulling up a couple of new messages, he typed out some brief excuses for cancelling to his Friday subs, then waited, the documentary playing in the background going completely unheard.   _ Why do I want to see him so badly?  Am I really that concerned that something has changed?  We both agreed to forget about it, so there shouldn't be a problem. _

 

Rei HADN'T forgotten about it, though, and he was forced to admit that was likely a large part of what was leading him to clear his schedule for Rin.  He shifted uncomfortably, sighing when he realized he was simply too antsy to sit still. Memories of the whole thing intruded at the unlikeliest of times, and he shot from the couch, stalking nervously around his home, looking for something to do to grab his attention away from his flailing thoughts.

 

Several times at work that day, Rei had found himself spacing out, the recall of the look in Rin's eyes- their faces so, so close- leading Rei to wonder if it would have been so bad if they had just… tried it.   _ It's hardly more 'intimate' than what we already do, _ Rei mused, tossing some clothes into the washer.   _ And I haven't been kissed in so long…  GOD, what am I thinking?? _   Rei turned the knob roughly, getting the load started, and stomped back to the couch.   _ That is utter bullshit, and I know it.  The intimacy of a kiss is completely different from a scene. _

 

_ It feels so good to be wanted, though.  And in that moment, he looked like he'd never wanted anything so badly in his entire life. _   Dropping his face to his hands, Rei let out a pitiful moan, jerking wildly at a notification from his laptop.   _ What the hell am I playing at… _

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Re: Next playdate  
Message:  
Master, 

Oh wow!  That's great!  Yeah, Friday at 8, then.

Caught a documentary the other day about how human beings make and store memories.  It seemed like something you would enjoy; made me think of you, nerd.

Have a great night.

Your pet

  
  


Letting out a slow breath, Rei sent his messages to his other subs, admitting to himself that he truly had no idea what he was doing or why, and decided he was sick of thinking about it.   _ You're being careless, _ Rei admonished himself.   _ You need to get your thoughts in order before next Friday. _

  
  


To: Swimbaka32  
From: Tokyodomrr186  
Subject: Re: Next playdate  
Message:  
My pet, 

I'll see you then.  And I believe I've seen that; I did enjoy it.

Perhaps, if I had allowed you to use 'nerd' instead of 'Master', you wouldn't have so much trouble remembering to address me properly.  'Nerd', and 'Pain in the Ass', for you. Would have made both of our lives easier.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Your Master

  
  


Rei hit send, then stared pointedly at the television.  "Well," he muttered out loud.  _  I guess that's that. _   Shaking his head, he reached for the remote, bumping the movie back to the beginning and pressing 'play'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a rare-pair fic in a mostly inactive fandom, your kudos and comments mean all that much more. Help a sister out, if you have the time, and let me know you are reading/enjoying. Big, big love, friends. <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Rin come to the realization that things have definitely, irrevocably changed.

Rin: Just got off the phone with my mom

Rin: I had to listen to her go on for a half an hour about how GREAT you are

Rei: Oh my goodness!  Well, she is a lovely woman.  It was delightful to chat with her for a bit.

Rin: I can't believe you actually made her cookies.  I think at this point, she's ready to trade me in for you.

Rei: I highly doubt that.  She did nothing but talk about you the entire time I was there.  She clearly loves you very much.

Rin: OH GOD NO.  WHAT DID SHE SAY

Rei: ?

Rei: It wasn't anything bad.  Normal 'parent' stuff, really.  Bragging about your achievements, complimenting your character, things of that nature.

Rin: Oh no.  K, I need to go.  I gotta call her back.

Rei: Oh!  Okay. No problem!  Have a great evening!

  
  


"Hey, kiddo!  Did you forget something?" Rin's mother answered when she picked up the phone.

 

"MOM!  Tell me you did NOT just sit and try to 'hard sell' Rei on my… virtues, the entire time he was there."

 

Her happy giggle told him everything he needed to know, and he bit back a curse, fist pulling roughly at his hair while she replied.  "Well why WOULDN'T I? You're my kid, and I think you're wonderful, and he would be a lovely addition to the family!"

 

"Mom.  Rei and I are not going to start seeing each other, okay?  I really, REALLY need you to lay off, with this." His voice came out more hurt than angry, and he cringed, knowing his mother would pick up on it.

 

"Rin?  Are you okay?  You sound terrible…  I'm sorry, doll. I didn't mean to upset you.  I figured it was a bit of harmless fun."

 

Sighing, Rin let his head fall back to the couch, considering his response.  "It's… I'm fine. I just… Let's not talk about this anymore," he finally eeked out.

 

She paused for a moment, and Rin could hear her moving around, blanket rustling.  "Kiddo. What's going on? Did something happen?"

 

Her voice was heavy with worry, and Rin clenched his teeth, tears starting at the corners of his eyes.  "Kinda," he whispered, and heard her make a soft noise of concern.

 

"You wanna talk about it?" she prodded, voice quiet.

 

Angrily wiping at his eyes, Rin huddled over, his forehead nearly on his knees, and took a shuddering breath.  "I… Mom, I really messed up."

 

"What happened?"

 

Rin squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed and miserable.  "I tried to kiss him." When his mother didn't respond, waiting for him to go on, he shook his head, scrubbing again at his eyes.  "And he very much did not like it."

 

"I see," she said simply.  "I suppose I can understand why you wouldn't enjoy my teasing, then.  Will you tell me what happened? If I can do anything to help, you know I will."

 

A rough, humorless laugh pushed its way from Rin's chest.  "I love you Mom, but I don't think this is anything you can solve for me.  I misread the situation, did something stupid, and he made it perfectly clear he was not interested.  That's it, basically. Well and… I guess I didn't realize how much the whole thing would upset me until it was all said and done.  I know it's stupid, but I kinda didn't even know I was like… thinking about him in that way."

 

"That's not stupid, honey," Rin's mother stated, a small sigh rounding out her sentence.  "Sometimes, these things sneak up on us. Did this happen before Rei-kun visited me yesterday?"

 

"Yeah," Rin mumbled, tossing himself across the couch.  "Last week."

 

"Huh.  Well, he seemed the same as ever, to me.  If he were upset with you, I doubt he'd have bothered to visit your poor, decrepit mother with homemade cookies."

 

Despite himself, Rin felt a smile tug at his lips.  "Honestly Mom, I think he's just that kind of guy. Dude's a saint.  But I mean, he said he wasn't upset with me, and I believe him."

 

"So you two have talked about it, then."

 

"I mean, sorta?  I apologized, and he said okay.  I'm kinda trying to pretend it didn't happen."

 

"I suppose that makes sense," she sighed.  "You two are still speaking to each other, I assume, if you called me to take me to task over bragging about you."

 

Lifting himself from the couch, Rin shuffled into the kitchen, rooting around in the fridge as he replied.  "Yes. Yeah. He told me not to worry about it, to just forget about it, and I think he has. The uh… The almost-kiss.  Forgotten about it."

 

He heard his mother hum in thought, and snagged a bottle of juice, making his way back to the living room.  "That's all well and good, kiddo, but what about you? I mean… Why did you try to kiss him in the first place?  Is it something you can so easily forget?"

 

"It's gonna have to be, isn't it?" Rin quickly replied, taking a drink, then setting the bottle on the table.  "I mean, that or I just stop talking to him? That seems pretty shitty, to me. He didn't do anything wrong."

 

Rin's mother 'tsked' her tongue against her teeth.  "Rin, I've been trying to be circumspect here out of respect for your privacy, but you are so damned stubborn.  Let me put it another way, okay? And I'm sure this is embarrassing, but I love you, kid, and you don't have to worry about it, alright?"  He didn't respond, and she took that as her cue to continue. "Was this a… you know, something, um, casual? An attempt at something purely physical?  Or do you have feelings for him?"

 

_ Oh my god, my own goddamned mother is asking me if I was just trying to hook up with Rei for sex, _ Rin cringed to himself, cheeks heating.  "M-mom… I uh… No. Or like, I mean… It isn't purely physical.  For me."

 

"Well, shit," she breathed.  "While I cannot say I enjoy the thought of you chasing around after people for nothing but a… quick 'thing'..."  Rin heard his mother swallow, and found a smile tugging at his lips over her discomfort. "I can't help but worry.  You are a passionate kid. You always have been. I have to assume this is going to be difficult for you to set aside, at least right away."

 

"It's pretty awful," Rin agreed, shrugging as if she could see him.  "But what else am I gonna do?"

 

"Does he know you feel this way?" she queried, and Rin's eyebrows furrowed, confused by the shift in direction of the conversation.

 

"Wh…  No? Why would I tell him that?  Wouldn't that just make it MORE awkward?  Poor dude already had to suffer through me embarrassing the crap out of both of us.  Seems kinda counterproductive to throw more humiliating fuel on the fire."

 

"I don't know, Rin.  He seems like a very earnest and serious boy.  Have you considered he might feel differently about the whole thing if he knew you wanted more than just a quick snog?"

 

"Eeeh!" Rin cried, slapping a hand over his eyes.  "Mom, I need you to stop talking about this. You are killing me."  Gritting his teeth at her cheerful tittering, he waited, fearful of what might come out of her mouth next.   _ This is so EMBARRASSING, oh my god… _

 

"You are so much fun to tease.  You make it too easy," she laughed.  "But I understand the situation a little better now, I think.  You know perfectly well I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, so my advice might not be all that… useful.  But I don't see why you don't just tell him you'd potentially be interested in something a bit more substantial, with him. You don't have to confess your undying love, or anything.  Just… Make it clear you'd be open to it if he was, and see what he says."

 

Resigned smile on his face, Rin shook his head.  "I already know he isn't interested."  _ And if I told him how I feel, he would immediately end our 'arrangement'.  Which I do not want. _

 

"Well kiddo, I mean, I trust you.  Just give it some thought. I have no doubt you can 'get over this', if that's what you decide to do, but it isn't gonna be easy, you know.  I remember how long you pined for that dumb jerk you dated last, even after you'd broken up and never had to interact with him."

 

"Ugh, that guy," Rin groaned.  "I was so stupid. But yeah, I mean, point taken.  I really don't see any other options though. I either get over it, or I stop talking to him and get over it.  Either way, I know what I need to do. And I really don't want to lose a friend over a stupid crush."

 

A soft sigh came over the line.  "Makes sense. Well, I'll be rooting for you, kid.  Maybe give yourself a break from him for a while, huh?  Try to do a 'mental reset', or something of that nature.  I don't know; I've never had to deal with something like this, myself."

 

"Definitely," Rin agreed, wincing.   _ Except that I am planning on getting naked and spending 2 hours with him tomorrow night.  I am SUCH a fucking IDIOT.  _  "Kay well, I'm gonna go.  Have a good night, Mom."

 

"You too, kiddo.  Talk to you soon."

  
  


*

  
  


Rin: Hey can I give Gou your number

Rin: She'd like to get back in touch with you

Rei: Absolutely!  I actually tried to reach out to her a couple weeks ago, but it appears the number I have for her is no longer correct.

Rin: Yeah, she had to change it when she got her job.  She'll be excited to hear you wanna reconnect.

Rei: I'll look forward to hearing from her!

  
  


Rei slid his phone back to his pocket, refocusing on his work.  With his boss out of town, he had been enjoying a 'reprieve' of sorts at work this week, and he had taken advantage of it, his output nearly double what it typically was.  It was finally garnering him some attention from the higher-ups in the department, though it was a bit of a mixed bag, most of them both complimenting his work and asking where all this motivation had been before.  

 

He'd played it off to the best of his ability, not wanting to drag his boss through the mud, and dreaded the coming week, when everything would be back to 'normal'.   _ It hadn't occurred to me, but I've basically dug myself a hole performing so well with him gone, and now I have no idea how to crawl out of it. _   He wasn't about to waste time and take longer on projects just to maintain status quo, though, so with a resigned sigh, he dug back in.

 

He barely noticed the notification from his phone, and it wasn't until lunchtime that he retrieved it to see who had contacted him.   _ Perhaps Gou?  I'm excited to see what she's been doing. _   A deep frown pulled at his features when he saw the message, and he stood quietly, making his way to the breakroom.

  
  


Rin: Sounds good!  Well, I'll stop bugging you at work.  Looking forward to tonight.

  
  


_ This is…  He knows I would rather he not mention these things in our regular text conversations.  Why is he having so much difficulty with respecting the boundaries we both agreed on? _   Rei retrieved his bento, finding a place to sit, and began to eat, thoughts still churning.   _ In and of itself, the message is pretty innocuous.  And I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it, as well. _

 

Chewing thoughtfully, Rei tried to sort out exactly what he was feeling.   _ I suppose I'm eager to ensure that things are truly 'okay' between us.  We've not seen each other since… our dinner together that night. He is likely just as ready to push that aside as I am.  Just wants things to go back to normal. _   A soft chuckle escaped his chest.   _ Normal.  Whatever that means. _

 

Rei tucked determinedly into his food, deciding it wasn't worth worrying about.  When he finished his lunch, quickly cleaning up after himself, he paused on his way back to his desk, firing off a short reply.   _ Maybe I'm being too rigid with all of this.  It doesn't really matter, does it? It's fine. _

  
  


*

  
  


Agitated, Rin had managed to irritate the majority of his coworkers, full of nervous energy, running back to his desk at every opportunity to check his phone.   _ Why did I do that?  Why did I bring up our scening??  He's probably totally pissed! _

 

As the hours ticked by and his phone remained quiet, Rin found himself getting more and more upset.   _ Jesus, why is he making such a big deal out of all of this??  Normally, he would respond right away with some sort of 'NOT HERE RIN-SAN', but he didn't even do that!  Maybe I really pissed him off. Maybe I should cancel, tonight. Maybe HE is going to cancel, tonight. _

 

Rin felt genuinely bad for his lunchtime client, his thoughts ANYWHERE but his work as he helped her through her routine.  "Matsuoka-san, is everything alright?" she asked toward the end of their time together. "Are you feeling okay?"

 

He offered her an apologetic smile, nodding.  "I'm doing just fine. It's been a long week, I guess.  I'm sorry I've worried you."

 

She waved him off with a smile, continuing her stretching.  "No need to apologize. I'm glad it's nothing serious, then."  Their conversation turned to lighter subjects, and when the two finished up, Rin plastered on a smile as he waved goodbye to her, turning once she was gone to shuffle dejectedly back to his desk.

 

_ This is your opportunity to do the right thing, Matsuoka, _ he grumbled to himself, flopping petulantly into his chair.   _ You should have never set this playdate up to begin with.  You have no business interacting with him like that, knowing how you feel about him.  Cancel. Do it now. Apologize for the late notice, and end this torture. _

 

Roughly yanking open the drawer, he grabbed his phone, prepared to do exactly that.  His stomach flipped when he saw that Rei had replied, and his whole body broke out in goosebumps.   _ Oh god, oh NO, what did he say…   _ It took him several moments of deep breathing to work up the courage to pull up the message, and when he did, his mouth fell open.

  
  


Rei: Me too.

  
  


Rin felt his entire body warm, eyes widening as he read the words over and over.  "Oh my god," he whispered, chest tight.  _ This guy is gonna be the death of me.  I don't know what I was expecting, but this is quite the departure from his usual behavior.  Maybe… Maybe he wants to see me just as bad as I want to see him. _   Rin floated through the rest of his day, oblivious to the stares from his colleagues, an enormous grin taking up permanent residence on his face.

  
  


*

  
  


Rei had to admit, Rin had him a bit 'off-center' this evening.  Rin had immediately begun stripping as soon as he stepped in the dungeon, Rei blinking in surprise, and had announced loudly that he wanted to be Rei's dog.  "Master, I want the collar and the leash, and I want you to make me be good for you."

 

_ What on earth is this? _ Rei asked himself, quickly schooling his expression from his obvious shock to a more neutral position.  "That is fine," he had murmured, buying himself some time to think by digging around on the shelves for what he needed.   _ He didn't mention this in his emails.  Where did this come from? And what does he mean, he wants me to- _

 

"Master, I want you to spank me with your hand when I misbehave," Rin had continued, and Rei let his brows furrow for a moment, turned away.

 

"Are you intending to misbehave?" Rei had asked, finally pulling the collar and leash from the shelf, and slowly spun around.  Rin hadn't replied, but the look on his face was teasing, challenging, and Rei sighed, stepping across the room to get the collar arranged.   _ This is weird.  Something about this isn't right. _   "Hands and knees," Rei had mumbled, doing his best to focus and get himself in-role.

 

Rin immediately dropped, a wide smile on his face.  "Master, yes."

 

With the end of the leash in hand, Rei had settled himself at the desk, reaching for his book.  "Are you going to be good for me, my pet?"

 

"Master, yes, I will be good.  I'll do anything you want."

 

Resisting the urge to look back at Rin, ignoring the amused lilt to Rin's voice, Rei had let his eyes close briefly, flipping the pages to where he'd last stopped.  "That's excellent, pet. Such an eager plaything, tonight."

 

Rin had held his silence, that smug grin still in place, and Rei stifled a sigh, taking note of the time and dropping his eyes to his book.

 

Which is how Rei found himself where he now was, having read the same page several times, trying to gather his thoughts and remain in-role, unsure of what to do with Rin's strange attitude.

 

"Master, may I sit at your feet?"

 

Rei's eyes flicked to the clock. _   5 minutes of no attention.  He did better than last time, I suppose. _   "That's fine," Rei agreed, looking over his shoulder.  "You may approach me if you crawl."

 

Rin smiled and began a slow shuffle across the floor, wicked sparkle to his eye.   _ Holy shit, this is turning me on, _ Rin realized absently, never taking his eyes from Rei's as he did his best to make his movements sensual.   _ I love it when he watches me, oh my god.  But I want more than that. I want him to touch me. _   He arranged himself in a kneeling position at Rei's side, not bothering to hide his arousal.

 

"Master, would you like to pet me?"  Rin twirled a section of his leash between his fingers, holding in a giggle when Rei's eyebrows shot up.

 

"You certainly are noisy, for a dog," Rei breathed, turning his attention back to his book.

 

_ Well, it was worth a try, _ Rin mused, allowing himself a tiny sigh.  Sitting quietly, letting his thoughts drift, Rin spent a couple of minutes developing a new plan to get Rei's hands on him, somehow.   _ Maybe if I call him Rei, he will spank me.  I would need to be punished, obviously, for that.  Or I could always just start bitching about him not paying atten- _   He startled sharply at a sudden, slight pressure on his head, gloved fingers stroking gently through his hair.  Rin's eyes slid shut, and he focused his attention on the sensations, the soft touches slowly lulling him into a state of relaxation.  

 

_ This is really nice.   _ Rin let a quiet sigh escape, tilting his head slightly to encourage Rei's fingers to explore his scalp.  _  I could see us doing this on a couch in the evening, watching a movie together, my head in his lap…  Him leaning down to kiss me, pulling me up so he could wrap his arms around me, moaning as he slid his tongue into my mouth, whispering my name into my ear…   _ A deep breath issued from Rin's chest, lips parting subconsciously. _   Then he'd slide a hand to my ass, maybe pull me onto his lap, straddling him so we could grind ourselves against each other, so I could feel how hard he would get for me.  Letting me sink down over his cock, his hips pounding his name from my lips over and over, his hand on my dick, his eyes wide with how badly he wants me, how much he wants to fill me up, just looking totally fucked out and gorgeous... _

 

Rin didn't notice he'd wrapped his hand around his cock until a rough fist in his hair ripped him from his fantasy.  "Unacceptable," Rei growled, yanking harshly. "That is clearly and unequivocally NOT a part of our contract. I would ask you to show a greater respect for what we do, here.  Move back to the center of the room."

 

For the first time that evening, Rin was mortified, and scrambled to do as Rei said, Rei standing and following directly at his heels.  "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Rin cried out, cheeks aflame. "Holy shit, I don't know what I was thinking, Rei. What the-"

 

"Jesus Christ," Rei spat, freezing mid-stride.  "You are a disaster, tonight. Perhaps we should end things, here."  Rei was surprised at the genuine anger in his voice, wincing and sucking in a shaky breath, trying to calm himself.

 

"M-master oh shit, I'm so sorry!  I'm s-sorry I t-touched… Oh my god, and I'm sorry I used your name, what the fuck am I doing??  Master, please. Master, I promise I'll be good."

 

Sighing heavily, Rei dropped to his knees by Rin's head.  "I need you to do better, my pet. You are not the only one that needs to be comfortable with what we do, here.  And currently, you are making me exceedingly uncomfortable."

 

"Master, I'm sorry," Rin whispered, squeezing his eyes closed against the tears forming there.  "I would never want to make you uncomfortable." The memory of Rei's eyes- startled and confused when Rin had pinned him to the wall- arose accusingly, and had Rin choking back an anguished whine.   _ Oh my GOD WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??  I just keep messing things up! _

 

Rei stood, walking back to the desk.  "You are being punished. Stay on your hands and knees as you are, facing away from me.  Do not speak unless spoken to. I believe we could both use a few moments to… arrange our thoughts."   _ I have had a bad feeling about this from the get-go.  If he cannot settle down, I'm ending this. _

 

Staring blankly at his book, Rei took a few deep breaths.   _ Why would he touch himself?  What in the seven hells is he thinking?  I cannot even imagine the thought process that would lead him to such a thing, nor to thinking it would be okay with me. _   Rei rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the tension there.   _ Honestly, I MYSELF need to settle down.  He has me completely off my game, tonight. _   He snuck a glance over his shoulder, Rin holding perfectly still.   _ If I didn't know better, looking back over this whole thing, I would think he was… flirting.  The teasing, the look in his eyes, the way he crawled over to me… He KNOWS we are trying to move past that whole mess last week.  Why on earth would he decide to handle it this way? _

 

Teeth gritted, Rei flipped angrily through his book.   _ And why am I letting this upset me to this degree?  It isn't like I've never had a sub get a little handsy with themselves. _   Rei closed his eyes, his mind snapping back to the way Rin's fingers looked wrapped around his hard cock.  When he felt his own body begin to respond, dick twitching in his pants, Rei hissed out a breath, marshalling every ounce of his willpower to avoid slapping his hands to his face.   _ Snap out of this, _ he admonished himself.

 

The sound of Rei's breath drew Rin's attention, and Rin dropped his head, peeking at Rei from between his arms.   _ What is he doing? _   Taking in the tense set of Rei's shoulders, the nervous fidgeting of his leg, Rin found himself feeling incredibly guilty.   _ Jesus, I've taken this thing he normally really enjoys and made it terrible, for him.  I am fucking everything up! Shit! _

 

Rin continued to sneak occasional glances at his dom, shuffling minutely to ease the pressure on his wrists and knees.  It was probably no longer than 10 minutes, but Rin felt like he'd been perched there forever, waiting. He refused to speak, not wanting to upset Rei any further, but it was taking every bit of his self-control to not babble a continuous string of apologies and promises to do better.   _ God, he still looks so uncomfortable, _ Rin noted, face pulling into a grimace.   _ I feel awful about this.  Surely there's something I can do to make it up to him. _

 

"You may relax, my pet," Rei eventually murmured, gaze locked on his book, and Rin gratefully sat down, stretching his legs out to rub at his knees.  Noticing the movement, Rei glanced up. "Ah." He quickly stood, settling himself beside Rin to take over, rubbing gently where Rin's hands had been before.  "I would imagine you are a bit sore," he whispered, fingers working diligently as Rin sighed.

 

"Master, I'm fine," Rin responded, watching intently.  When Rei moved his hands to Rin's wrists, Rin shook his head.  "Master, seriously. It's okay. You don't have to do this. I owe you, honestly."  Rei's eyes met his briefly, expression inscrutable, and went back to massaging. "Master, c'mon, seriously.  You're making me feel guilty."

 

Rei leaned back at that, resting lightly on his heels, a pensive frown turning his mouth.  "Guilty, huh. That is certainly not my intention."

 

Rin just barely resisted the urge to reach out and rest his hand on Rei's leg, fingers twitching with the effort.  "Uh… Master, it's… fine. I mean it. You should let me do something for you. I know I've been a total pain in the ass, tonight."  Rei didn't respond, watching Rin with eyes curious, that tiny frown still there. "Um, what if we- SHIT. Master, I'm sorry. Master, what if we uh…  I could rub your shoulders, or something. You look tense as hell."

 

_ He wants to rub my shoulders? _ Rei wondered, his face registering his surprise.   _ I… guess that sort of contact isn't prohibited by our contract. _   "I suppose I am a bit tense," Rei muttered, and a small smile appeared on Rin's face.  "Very well, my pet." Standing, Rei snagged the chair, swinging it to the floor beside Rin.  Once he had arranged himself in it, facing the back, he took a deep breath. "You may begin."

 

Rin leapt up from the floor, grin cracking his face, and positioned himself behind Rei, hands dropping lightly to his neck.  "Master, thank you," he offered, and began to dig his fingers in. A small sigh puffed from Rei's nose, and Rin felt his chest swell, relieved he could do something that made Rei feel better, after all the trouble he'd put him through.

 

It didn't take long for Rin to begin grumbling, though, frustrated at the way the sweater kept bunching up under his hands.  Brows drawn together in concentration, Rin did his best, but finally laid his hands out flat on Rei's shoulder blades. "Master, I have a question.  And it is completely okay to say no."

 

"Yes, my pet?"

 

"Um…  Master, your sweater is getting in the way.  I think I could do a better job if you took it off."

 

_ Okay, that is DEFINITELY against the rules of our contract. _   Something, however, kept Rei from his kneejerk response, throat tightening over the 'absolutely not' he wanted to say.   _ I suppose, with his question and my agreement, that would be a clearly consented upon activity.  And it is not sexual in nature. It would be working within the intentions of the contract, wouldn't it?  Within a 'good faith' interpretation of the boundaries we've delineated? _   "I see," Rei whispered, and for the first time in the three years he'd had this particular dungeon, he removed a piece of his own clothing in it, tossing his sweater over the arm of the sofa.

 

Rin was very glad Rei couldn't see his face, his shock obvious as Rei settled back into position.   _ Holy shit, he actually did it! _   Rin's hands were immediately back on Rei's shoulders, and the skin-on-skin contact had him biting back a gasp.   _ Ooooh, this might not have been a good idea, _ Rin cried internally, his eyes all over Rei's back, taking in the rippling of muscle, the narrowing of his waist, the dimples just above the waistband of his slacks.   _ Oh fuck. _   Rin's gaze dropped to his cock, quickly making its interest in the proceedings clear.   _ Thank god he's facing away. _

 

Doing his best to ignore his rapidly swelling arousal, Rin went back to digging his fingers into Rei's neck and shoulders, pulling the occasional sigh and low moan from him, and Rin squeezed his eyes shut, wishing every little sound wasn't mainlining directly to his crotch.

 

Rei let his head slump forward slightly, enjoying the touch.   _ It's been so long since I've done something like this, _ Rei mused.   _ It is delightful to be cared for.  I still feel like I'm doing something wrong, though.  Perhaps I'm just unused to feeling like I deserve any attention at all, when I'm in the dungeon. _   Rin's fingers found a particularly good spot and Rei groaned happily, pushing himself into Rin's touch.  Rin hissed, his hands jerking, and Rei's eyes popped open, whipping his head over his shoulder. "My pet?  Are you alright?"

 

"M-master, I'm fine," Rin gritted through clenched teeth, staring down at his cock.   _ God damn, he almost shoved himself right back against my dick. _   Situating himself as far away as he could get and still reach, Rin resumed his work.  A comfortable silence fell, punctuated with the occasional sound of encouragement from Rei, and they both finally began to relax, Rin finding a rhythm and focusing intently on the muscles beneath his hands.

 

Several minutes passed, Rei offering a quiet 'that feels good, pet' whenever Rin would hit a sore spot.  Rei was starting to get drowsy, thoughts sluggish, the first time Rin's cock brushed against his back. Rei's eyebrow twitched.   _ Dear god, is that…  Is he hard? What about this is turning him on? _   Despite his internal confusion, he gave no outward sign of noticing, and Rin's fingers, having briefly frozen in place, began to move again.

 

The second time felt more purposeful, and Rei's nostrils flared, shocked when his cock began to stir to life beneath his belt.   _ I should stop this.  We shouldn't be doing this... _   He held silent, however, breaths slow and measured, and when Rin leaned slightly forward a couple minutes later, pressing himself ever-so-gently against Rei's skin, Rei's eyes fell to his own lap, pants straining over his erection.   _ Oh my god, this feels really good… _   His mind began to skitter through that night after dinner, Rin's body tight against him, eyes deep pools of desire, their lips so close…   _ I wanted to kiss him, _ Rei realized with something akin to awe.   _ I want to kiss him, now.  I want him to touch me like this.  OH SHIT. I need to put a stop to this, immediately. _

 

Rei had just begun to open his mouth when Rin rutted himself against Rei's back, softly, but the movement was unmistakable.  A quiet, shuddering moan sighed involuntarily from Rei's chest, Rin's breath hitching at the feeling of Rei's skin on his most sensitive area.

 

Rin's eyes flew wide at Rei's exhalation.   _ Oh my god, OH MY GOD, he IS enjoying this!  I couldn't figure out why he kept letting me do it, but he WANTS it!  Oh shit, oh my god… _   "Oh fuck…" Rin whispered, so softly Rei could barely hear him, and Rei's body went rigid.  Rin didn't notice, shoving himself more forcefully against Rei's back. "Oh fuck you feel good."

 

Rin was being thrown backward before he could register what was happening, blinking wildly as Rei stood in front of him, hands vice-like on his shoulders.  "That is quite enough! This is…" Rei darted his eyes to the wall, having difficulty looking Rin in the face. "This is unacceptable conduct, in the dungeon."

 

Rin's eyes were locked on Rei's slacks, and when he lifted his gaze, his confusion was written all over his face.  "I thought…" He cleared his throat. "Master, I thought you were enjoying it."

 

"Whether I was enjoying it or not is beside the point.  I shouldn't have let it happen at all. I apologize, my pet.  That was my failing. I am clearly not myself, tonight. I think we should end here."

 

"But we've hardly-"

 

Rei's fingers were at Rin's neck, unclasping the collar before Rin could finish his thought.  "I cannot continue. I am deeply sorry, my pet. This is… highly unusual. I seem to be… a bit off-balance, this evening."

 

"O-okay," Rin whispered, Rei's glove sliding over his neck, checking the skin.

 

Rei guided him to the couch, fingers gliding over knees and wrists and hands, Rin sitting silent in utter stupefaction.  He barely noticed the blanket being snugged around him, and Rei switched out his gloves to apply something cool and soothing to the skin on Rin's knees.  "Are you feeling alright?" Rei inquired, having established a bit more control of himself, finding the motions and routine of aftercare soothing to his own mind.

 

"Yeah, I mean, I'm fine.  We didn't even really do anything," Rin mumbled, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.  "I'm sorry about… what I did."

 

"You have no need to apologize, I assure you," Rei stated, quickly pulling his sweater over his head.  "Perhaps you took some liberties, but it was up to me to lead us, and I allowed things to… get out of hand.  To be truthful, I don't think I've been in control of this scene from the very beginning of the night, and that is deplorable, on my part.  I should have shut this down from the very start. I certainly know better. Again, I truly apologize."

 

"Wow," Rin breathed, sounding a bit angry.  "So that's it, then. This was all just a terrible 'oversight', on your part.  Jesus." Lifting his hands to his face, Rin scrubbed harshly at his eyes. "You can call it a mistake all you want, but you enjoyed it."

 

"I did," Rei replied, and the immediate response snapped Rin's eyes to Rei.  "It's been a while since… Well, I'm sure you understand. I've not received that kind of… attention, in a very long time.  I had no business using you in that manner. I'm quite ashamed of myself."

 

Rin stared stupidly, struggling to form any sort of response.  "Using me?" he finally croaked. Rei's eyes swung away, his teeth gritting, and Rin saw him glance at the clock.  "Oh, for Christ's sake!" The exclamation was pulled from Rin without his conscious choice, but now that he'd started, he wasn't about to stop.  "You can't fucking WAIT to get rid of me, huh? Just push this little 'incident' out of your mind, no big deal, and get ready for your next sub.  Well FUCK YOU, Rei. I bet you do this with ALL of you subs. Act all coy and 'oh, we can't, we shouldn't', and then whenever you're horny, you let yourself do as you please.  Didn't take any convincing at all to get you out of your clothes."

 

Rei's eyebrows shot to his hairline, his jaw hanging slack.  "Wh-what?" he stuttered.

 

"I'm nothing special at all, when it comes to you, am I?  Fuck this shit." Rin was off the couch in an instant, redressing as fast as he could.  "I appreciate your honesty, I guess," Rin growled, yanking roughly at his shirt. "Using me.  Holy shit. I had no idea you were even capable of being such an asshole."

 

Rei was in Rin's face in an instant, hands grabbing at his shoulders, but Rin shook him off.  "Rin-san, I'm unsure what is going on, but I believe there has been a misunderst-"

 

"OH I'M RIN-SAN NOW, HUH??  FUCK YOU! God DAMN it, Rei!"  Stomping to his socks, he flopped to the sofa, pulling them on before shooting Rei a death-glare.  "Bet you fuck all your subs right here on this couch, don't you. But not me, I'm too awful to even ' _ USE _ '" the word spat from Rin's mouth like a curse, "for a quick lay.  Or maybe it's just easier to 'fuck and forget about it', when the person isn't even a friend."

 

Rei was dumbfounded, face shocked and his voice refusing to work, when Rin threw open the door.  "Don't fucking contact me."

 

Rei stuttered into motion, chasing through the apartment after him, but Rin swooped down, grabbing his shoes in one hand and bolting out the door before Rei could make it to the living room.   _ What in the actual HELL just happened? _ Rei screamed to himself, looking around the room as if it had the answers.   _ Why was he so upset?  And what was all of that nonsense about fucking my subs?  Why would he think I would do that? If anything, I would think my actions this evening prove how opposed to that sort of thing I actually am! _

 

Rei grabbed in his pocket with numb fingers, ripping his phone up to his face.

  
  


Rei: Rin-san, we should talk.  I am 100% certain there has been a terrible misunderstanding, and I would like an opportunity to correct it.  Please.

  
  


_ Holy shit.  I don't even know what to do. _   Rei made his way to the bedroom, feet dragging.   _ I feel like I am working blind, here.  What set him off? Wasn't he doing exactly what I was?  We got caught up in a moment, allowed ourselves to do something we normally wouldn't, and put a stop to it. _   Snagging the collar and leash from the floor, Rei began to clean and condition the leather, mind whirring.  

 

_ Jesus Christ. _ _ I guess this is what I was afraid of, all along.  I should have known doing something like this was going to turn out badly. _   Rei moaned, petulant, letting his hands fall to his sides, head tilting back to stare at the ceiling.  Suddenly incredibly glad he had cancelled his last sub for the night, Rei half-heartedly finished tidying up, making his way home and immediately crawling into bed.

 

Sleep came in fits and starts, Rei checking his phone every time he regained consciousness, waiting for a reply that never came.   _ I don't want us to stop talking.  I don't want to never see him again.  I want to spend time with him, to tease him and be teased, to laugh with him and try new things with him.  I want to be near him. _   Rei's eyes flew open, stunned.   _ I want to kiss him and be kissed.  I want to hold his hand. Touch his face.  Tangle his hair in my fingers. Know what his body feels like beneath me. _   "Oh shit…" Rei whispered to his empty room, rolling over and pushing his face into his pillow.   _ This is so much worse than I thought. _

  
  


_ * _

  
  


When Rei awoke in the morning, a groggy hand flopped to his nightstand, dragging his phone over.  His heart skipped a beat when he saw he had a message from 'Swimbaka', and Rei's fingers shook as he typed in his password.

  
  


To: Tokyodomrr186  
From: Swimbaka32  
Subject: Thank you  
Message: 

I will no longer be requiring your services.  Do not contact me again.

  
  


_ FUCK. _   Rei gritted his teeth, a growl rumbling from his chest, and launched his phone across the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 8 EPILOGUE:

[Had some folks express interest in what, exactly, was going on with the whole 'Sousuke's Jacket' thing at the beginning of Chapter 6.  This was something I'd written while I was writing Chapter 5, and it takes place in between the events of Chap 5 and Chap 6. Ancillary to the story (meaning 'not plot-critical'), so I didn't include it in Chapter 5, but if you are interested, feel free to check it out!  A text conversation between our favorite spunky lady-Matsuoka and our snarky, 'still has no idea where he is going' Tour Guide!]

  
  


Gou: Heya.  Hate to bug you, but I know my stupid brother is too stubborn to ask.  Any chance we could get your help with the gutters on Mom's house? Rin got about a third of the way up the ladder before his soul left his body and I had to help him down.

Sousuke: HAHAHA I would be happy to help.  This weekend okay?

Gou: OH MY GOD, ANYTIME YOU CAN DO IT IS FINE.  I would appreciate it so much!!

Sousuke: Seriously Gou, it isn't a problem.  Please don't be afraid to ask, okay? You can be stubborn, too.

Gou: I'm not stubborn.  I'm strong-willed. And thank you.  This weekend would be fine.

Sousuke: Riiiiight.  Great, then. Will it just be your mother, or should I expect to see you or maybe your dumb-ass brother as well?

Gou: Depends on the day.  I'll be there Saturday, Rin Sunday.

Sousuke: Saturday it is, then.

Gou: Sounds good.  Also… Maybe don't mention this to Rin, if that's the case.

Sousuke: O-ho?

Gou: He'll just… He gets weird about me contacting you.

Sousuke: *sighs*  Well, I'm sorry to hear that.  Though he's made that clear to me, too.  How does it make YOU feel, Gou, to contact me?  :)

Gou: If I didn't know better, I would think that was an incredibly awkward attempt at flirting.

Sousuke: *laughed so hard I spit out my udon*  You would prefer I be more direct and less… awkward?  

Gou: If you were going to be more direct, I would assume you'd have already done it, with how long we've known each other.

Sousuke: Is that right.

Sousuke: Maybe I'm more afraid of your brother than I realized.

Sousuke: How about this?  I'll try again. Hey, Gou.  I'd love to spend some time together Saturday.  Maybe you could help me with the gutters? Hold the ladder, or something?  Stare at my ass?

Gou: I see.  Would you like me to stare at your ass, Sousuke?

Sousuke: It's one of my better features.

Gou: I can't argue with you, there.

Sousuke: I will readily admit I just choked on my dinner.  Gou? Are you fucking with me?

Gou: I appreciate you being willing to help.  See you Saturday.

Sousuke: OH MY.  YOU ARE THE DEVIL, AREN'T YOU.  Uh. Well. See you then.

Gou: Thank you so much!!  My whole family is grateful for how much help you've been.  Even if Rin is sometimes a jerk about it. *sips tea* Wear something tight.

Sousuke: Gou.  I don't think I've blushed in 10 years.  But I just did. Will do, boss.

Gou: You take orders surprisingly well.  

Sousuke: I'm surprised, myself.

Gou: Go shirtless, and I'll buy you dinner as a reward.

Sousuke: Not to be rude, but…  Where the hell has all of THIS been the past, oh I don't know, 15 YEARS of our life?

Gou: You were always with someone.  Or I was.

Sousuke: Huh.  True, I guess. JUST TO MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR.  You are coming on to me, right? Meaning, I know I'm an idiot and I misunderstand things all the time.

Gou: I didn't expect the 'shy' thing from you, Sousuke.

Sousuke: This is not shy.  This is cautious. I will have hell to pay from your brother no matter what, so I at least want to make sure it's worth my time.  And you aren't treating me to dinner. I'll take you out properly.

Gou: Gross.  It isn't proper if the 'man' doesn't pay?

Sousuke: I love it when you put me in my place.  *still laughing* I should have said, "I've been wanting to take you to dinner for years, and I hope you will let me."

Gou: That's so much better.  And years, huh?

Sousuke: Rin is going to fucking kill me

Gou: For what?  Helping our mother?  

Sousuke: You told me not to mention helping out.  He will kill me because he will somehow intuit that I've been in contact with you and he'll just blow up all of Tokyo before asking what we talked about.  And even if he didn't, he would certainly detonate the place if he saw this conversation.

Gou: Why?  We haven't said anything all that scandalous.

Sousuke: This is plenty scandalous, for him.  Seriously, I'm on borrowed time, already. I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up right now, just somehow knowing he needed me to die and not knowing exactly why

Gou: Well.  If you are going to die.  Let's at least make it worth your while.

Sousuke: …

Sousuke: Gou, I'm gonna let you go, for tonight.  I need to do my dinner dishes.

Gou: Plan to spend the night at my place, Saturday.

Sousuke: OH MY GOD.

Sousuke: Are you…  Look, maybe we should be done for tonight.  Are you drunk or something? We can talk tomorrow.

Gou: I am stone cold sober.  And I am tired of waiting for you to make a move.

Sousuke: HOLY SHIT.  Gou, I'm… I'm sorry?

Gou: You can make it up to me Saturday.

Sousuke: Woman.  You have more than my cheeks flushed, at this point.  What the actual hell? Where is all this coming from?

Gou: Don't play that 'innocent' shit with me.  We've been dancing around this for years.

Sousuke: We have?

Sousuke: Because until about 15 minutes ago, I thought it was just me.

Gou: HOLY HELL, ARE YOU STUPID?  God, men are exhausting.

Sousuke: I will happily exhaust you Saturday night.  :)

Gou: THAT'S BETTER, Sou.  Good god. Catch up.

Sousuke: Um…  Wow. I'll do my best.  To catch up. And to make it up to you.  Repeatedly.

Gou: See you Saturday.  Let me know when to expect you at mom's

Sousuke: Yes ma'am.  I'll send you a text tomorrow.  I need to talk to my boss about my schedule.

Gou: I'll wear something nice for you.  Something lacy.

Sousuke: You need to stop this shit, or I'm going to show up wherever you are right now and ruin your plans for the evening.

Gou: I HAVE BEEN DYING FOR YOU TO SAY THAT.  For christ's sake! What, you have something better to do?  Your dishes, I guess?

Sousuke: Where are you

Gou: I'm at home.

Sousuke: I'll be there in 20

Gou: GOOD.  You're a bit hard to train, Sousuke, but I think you'll do.

Sousuke: I can't help but have a small part of me wonder if this is some elaborate setup by your brother, but even if it is, I will walk happily into my own doom.  Gou. I am about to ruin more than your evening.

Gou: OOOOH, and you finally made ME blush.  See you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for reading through this, if you made it this far! I hope you are enjoying the story as much as I am! Big hugs to you all, and if the urge strikes, feel free to leave me a wee comment letting me know you are reading along!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doing what is right? Knowing what is right? Why is all of this so HARD?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I posted a new chapter. Better check the weather station in Hell. *giggles*
> 
> It's been so much fun, getting reacquainted with the characters and the story... I think my chapters from here on out are going to be considerably shorter than the first few, but if it means I'm completing and posting chapters, that's a win, right?
> 
> Thanks for giving this a read, friends! <3

Rin's phone buzzed in his pocket, drawing a long sigh from his chest.  He directed an apologetic glance to the man standing next to him, the train occasionally bumping them against each other, and did his best to wrangle his phone out with as little physical contact as possible.

  
  


Rei: It is becoming more and more difficult to make excuses to Haruka, Makoto and Gou, when they ask whether I've been in contact with you.  You have made it abundantly clear that you do not wish to speak to me, but we still have mutual friends that are likely to grow more curious as time goes on.  In addition, I have no idea how to respond to the emails I've received from your friend regarding volleyball. Please advise.

  
  


Rin felt a sharp breath suck in past his teeth when he saw Rei's name.  It had been nearly 3 weeks since their argument at Rei's apartment, and Rin had expected that, at some point, he would settle down enough to know what to do.  As evidenced, however, by his suddenly racing heart and rapid breaths, even this minimal amount of contact was enough to stir up a hornet's nest of conflicting emotions.

 

Feeling a bit foolish, Rin scrolled up through Rei's last few messages.  It had taken Rei a few days to give up on reaching out, the slightly panicked tone of his texts right after their fight morphing into outright confusion, and the last one- sent about a week post-fallout- clipped and angry.   _ I told him I didn't want to hear from him, _ Rin noted, the words ringing hollow even in his mind.   _ Why would he get his panties in a wad when I didn't respond? _

 

He re-read the latest message, frowning in thought, and climbed off when the train rumbled into his stop.  Rin was tempted to think it sounded like an excuse- like Rei was just looking for some way to get Rin to respond- but as he made his way home, steps heavy and slow, Rin had to admit Rei had brought up legitimate concerns. _   Am I prepared to tank our volleyball team and let all of those guys down, just because I… got my feelings hurt?  How would I even EXPLAIN that to Seijuurou or Kisumi? _

 

His thoughts were interrupted by another notification from his phone, Rin tearing the device from his pocket, an embarrassed 'Jesus' falling from his lips when he realized it was just Sousuke.

  
  


Sousuke: Where do you keep your colander?  I've looked everywhere

Rin: Cabinet to the left of the stove

Sousuke: I already looked there

Rin: Try your other left

Sousuke: I checked both.  And go to hell.

Rin: I'll be home in like 3 minutes and I'll look then.

  
  


Stretching his shoulders and neck, Rin did his best to pick up the pace, feeling a bit guilty about lolly-gagging when Sousuke was at his home, in his kitchen, cooking dinner.  It was something the two of them used to do quite a bit back in the day, trading off hosting/cleaning duties and cooking, but Rin had a feeling there was more to Sousuke's offer than the simple 'we hadn't done it in a while' response Sousuke sent when Rin pressed him about it.   _ Probably gonna get my ass chewed for being all 'pouty' again. _

 

There was no doubt Rin HAD been a bit… cranky, the last few weeks.   _ Not sure how I'm supposed to explain that, though…  Oh yeah, sorry about that, Sousuke, you know, the darndest thing happened… _   The thought of telling Sousuke what had transpired with Rei brought a humorless smile to his face, legs trudging up the stairs to his front door.   _ You'd never believe it, man…  Who'd have thought rubbing my naked cock against him would have ended badly? _

 

Recalling Rei's frazzled apologies, cringing as his mind dredged up the word 'used' for probably the hundredth time since the whole mess went down, Rin pushed his way inside.  He shrugged out of his coat, grumbling a greeting to Sousuke that was drowned out by Sousuke's own.

 

"It was in the drying rack," Sousuke snickered, stretching an arm out across the kitchen to hand Rin a beer.  "I'm not used to you leaving shit in there."

 

"Least it was clean."  Rin flopped into a dining room chair, taking a swig and studying his friend's back, bent slightly over the stove.  "You're too tall to even cook right."

 

"What an interesting way of saying 'thanks for cooking'."

 

"No one's forcing you."

 

"What an interesting way of saying 'sorry, I'm an asshole'."

 

"Jesus," Rin chuckled, shaking his head.  "How was your day?"

 

"Meh," Sousuke shrugged, tossing some veggies into the pot and smirking over his shoulder.  "Somehow ended up at a meat-packing plant. Smell was awful." Turning suddenly from the stove, Sousuke gestured to the counter.  "Oh… I found those on your doorstep when I got here."

 

Rin's eyes drifted over, head tilting in confusion before he shot up, stomping over to get a better look.  "What…"

 

"I thought maybe you just left them outside, but there's a note."

 

"God damn it," Rin hissed, snagging the envelope and heading for the back of the house.  "Be back in a sec."

 

Sousuke watched him go, eyebrows raised in surprise, and breathed out an 'oooo-kaaay' before focusing on the food.

  
  


_ Rin-san, _

_ These do not belong to me, and I felt it would be better to return them to you while you were at work, so you wouldn't be forced to spend time in my presence. _

_ Ryuugazaki Rei _

  
  


Paper crumpling in his hand, Rin let out a low growl of frustration before digging his phone out of his pocket.

  
  


Rin: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??  You returned a pair of GALOSHES?  What the hell is WRONG with you?? And how did you figure out where I live?  Leave me ALONE!!

Rei: Ah, I shall add this to my list of 'Completely Incomprehensible Reasons You Are Upset With Me'.  I'd apologize, but that simply seems to make you angrier.

Rei: And I asked Gou for your address.

Rin: I swear to GOD, if you said anything to her about all of this…  I can't believe you.

Rei: Of course not!  I have just as much to lose as you, as far as keeping a lid on all of this.  To be completely truthful, Rin-san, your behavior is baffling. I have been worried about you, and I have every right to be.  And if I don't want your hideous galoshes, I have every right to return them. Why are you so angry? You've not given me a single word of explanation that makes sense.

  
  


Rin slammed his phone to the bed, wiping furious tears from his eyes he hadn't even realized were there.  He was pissed, SEETHING, but as was becoming obvious to him, much of his anger stemmed from sheer embarrassment.  He was mortified over his actions that night. His reaction to Rei's apology… His jealousy at the idea of being 'nothing special' to Rei…  His refusal to discuss the matter any further… But most especially, how badly it all still hurt, and how much he wanted Rei to somehow magically make it RIGHT.

 

He took some deep, calming breaths, having no interest in explaining to Sousuke why he was all weepy over a pair of galoshes.  Unable to think of anything to say to Rei that wouldn't shine a spotlight on his inner turmoil, Rin didn't respond, plodding back out to the dining room and his waiting dinner.

  
  


*

  
  


"So," Sousuke tossed out, keeping his expression carefully neutral as he continued to chew, "What's up with the boots?"

 

Rin shrugged, lifting another forkful of pasta, eyes locked on his plate.  Raising an eyebrow in amused disbelief, Sousuke leaned back from the table, setting his silverware on his plate.  "You seemed kinda pissed."

 

"Nope."

 

"Huh."  When Rin made it clear he had no intention of elaborating, Sousuke sighed, dramatic and long-suffering, and pointed to Rin's garlic bread.  "You gonna eat that?"

 

Rolling his eyes, Rin slid his plate across the table, Sousuke snagging the slice before Rin changed his mind.  "Thanks for cooking," Rin mumbled, finishing up his last bite and standing to clear the table, hoping he could guide the conversation elsewhere.  "How's your beer?"

 

"I'd take another," Sousuke replied, tipping back the last of what he had, and stood to follow Rin into the kitchen, dismissing Rin's offer to get it for him.  Rin felt his jaw clench when Sousuke set up shop leaning against the refrigerator, Rin quickly diving into the dinner dishes to give himself somewhere to look besides the very pointed stare Sousuke was directing to him.

 

"You know why I'm here," Sousuke began.

 

"To make dinner," Rin forced out, cringing, and scrubbed harder than he likely needed to at his plate.

 

"What's going on with you, lately?"

 

Rin spent entirely too much time rinsing his dish before carefully arranging it in the drying rack, then aimed a small smile over his shoulder.  "Same ol' shit, man. Stress, work, Mom, stuff like that."

 

"Sure," Sousuke agreed easily enough, taking a sip of his beer, then crossed his arms over his chest, getting comfortable.  "But like… Things seemed better for a while, and then you just nosedived. I asked Gou about your mom, but she said she's been improving…  Is something else messing with you?"

 

Too flustered to manage even a 'bristle' at Sousuke's mention of Gou, Rin shrugged, lightly shaking his head.  "No one's a ray of sunshine all the time."

 

"You haven't been acting right, man.  You seem pissy and exhausted all the time, and this is the first time I've seen you in like… two weeks."  Lifting his chin, Sousuke took a slow breath, hesitating slightly, then nervously tapped his fingers on his beer.  "You pissed at me, or something? You've been avoiding me."

 

Rin whipped his head around, confusion pulling his brows together.  "What? No… Why the hell would I be mad at you? Did you do something?"

 

Rin's eyes widened when apprehension washed over Sousuke's face, and it took Sousuke a moment to reply.  "It's not that," he eventually muttered, eyes locked on the microwave. "I figured it was worth asking, is all."

 

_ He looks genuinely worried.  Did he really think I was angry with him?  Have I been that much of an asshole? _   Suddenly feeling guilty, Rin stared down at his soapy water, trying to come up with SOMEthing he could offer Sousuke without spilling the entire story.  "I'm not mad at you," he finally gritted out, letting his eyes close.

 

"Then what the hell's wrong with you?  You've been acting like-"

 

"I'm actually pissed off at Rei," Rin interrupted, and couldn't find the courage to face Sousuke when he heard his jaw audibly snap shut.

 

"No shit?" Sousuke breathed, astonished.  "Does he know that? Because he's been just as worried as everyone else-"

 

"He knows."

 

Sousuke's face betrayed his confusion, and he stood thinking for a moment, eyes squinting at the ceiling in concentration.  "Okaaay… Then why is he acting like he has no idea what's wrong? I got a text from him the other day asking me how you were doing."

 

Rin's sigh was large enough to flutter the hair hanging over his eyes, and he slumped further down over the sink.  "I'm not speaking to him."

 

"What?" Sousuke spat in surprise, coming off the fridge and jerking to a halt in the center of the room.  "How the hell did THAT happen? Dude seems like the kind of guy to fall all over himself apologizing if he accidentally made you stumble while he was saving you from walking in front of a moving car."

 

Receiving no response from Rin, amused or annoyed or otherwise, Sousuke reached out, grabbing Rin's arm and spinning him around.  His eyes flew wide at the tears on Rin's cheeks, and his hand fell away, having no idea what to do. "Dude? What's-"

 

"He apologized," Rin choked out, barely holding himself together.  "I just… It's so fucking stupid, man."

 

Sousuke, briefly frozen in alarm, made his way to the stove in an effort to give Rin a little space, busying himself with gathering the pans as Rin swiped roughly at his nose and cheeks.  Wisely holding his silence, Sousuke waited until Rin resumed scrubbing at the dishes before moving the pans to Rin's side and leaning back against the refrigerator.

 

Rin knew Sousuke wouldn't force him to talk, but now that he'd admitted what he had, he found he WANTED to tell someone.  Isuzu had proven to be less than helpful in that regard, insisting Rin had an obligation to apologize to Rei and come clean about his feelings.   _ Yeah, right.  That'll go well.   _

 

He'd quickly decided he didn't need any more of her brand of 'support', and keeping all of this pent up nonsense to himself was proving to be heavier and lonelier than he could bear.   _ Surely I could mention some of it, get the main point across, without saying anything about the… other stuff. _

 

Rin completed his clean up in silence, Sousuke watching quietly, and Rin exhaled a resigned sigh when he shut off the tap.  "Gimme a beer," he muttered, and Sousuke complied, the two standing tensely in the ensuing awkwardness.

 

After a large, loud gulp, Rin let his gaze wander to the dining room.  "I tried to kiss him," he eventually breathed. Sousuke didn't make a peep, and without the fortitude to turn and look at his face to gauge his reaction, Rin sucked in a breath and plowed on.  "It… didn't go well."

 

"You're mad at him because he turned you down?"

 

Rin darted a sheepish glance at Sousuke, offering a slight shake of his head before dropping his eyes to the floor and letting out a slow breath.  "No… It was more like… he was giving me some confusing signals, and I kinda misread the situation. But honestly… He said some pretty awful shit, man."

 

"Rei did?"  Sousuke said, clearly shocked.  "Why?"

 

"Hell if I know.  I think he was trying to apologize for the whole 'mixed signal' thing, but he just made it all worse."

 

Letting out a low whistle, Sousuke thought for a moment, fiddling with the bottle in his hands.  "So…" he eventually murmured, studying Rin intently. "What exactly did he say? I mean, how did he manage to 'apologize' so badly that you aren't speaking to him?"

 

Sousuke's eyebrows slowly raised as Rin proceeded to drink his entire beer, slamming the bottle to the counter and breathing out a low, raspy 'fuuuuuuuck'.  "He apologized for um… For using me."

 

"What?"  Sousuke's incredulous confusion made his question sound more like a squeak, Rin sighing exasperatedly with an 'I know, right?' expression on his face.  "No no no," Sousuke immediately added, waving a rough hand in the air. "What the hell am I missing, here? How did we go from 'I tried to kiss him' to 'he used me'?  What the… What were you guys DOING?"

 

While Sousuke admittedly had no idea what on earth was going on, Rin's sudden look of terror succeeded at- at least tentatively- filling in some of the blanks.  "Look, dude. I'm not… I don't give one single shit if you guys were like, fuck buddies, or whatever. No judgement here, seriously. You know that. I'm just trying to figure out why you went from being happier than I've seen you in a long time to being a total mess."

 

If Sousuke hadn't been so frustrated, he might have laughed at Rin's horrified gasp.  "We're not… We weren't… fucking," Rin finally managed to grit out, mind racing for a way to explain.  "I think there were just a couple things said or done that maybe blurred a line here and there, and I… misunderstood."

 

"That still doesn't make any sense.  Your words are basically like 'this was no big deal', but then you're claiming he said a bunch of rotten shit and you won't even talk to the guy."  Annoyed, Sousuke snagged another beer from the fridge, popping the cap and downing a sizable drink before continuing. "Jesus, man. I mean… Either you're lying to me, or you're confused as hell."

 

"I'm not lying."

 

"Whatever.  How, exactly, was he 'using' you?"

 

"Sousuke-"

 

"Explain.  Because everything you've said so far makes it seem like it's YOU being the asshole.  Convince me you don't actually owe HIM an apology." Sousuke's eyes were furious, and Rin found himself instinctively backing away.  "I've known you for a long time, man. You're my best friend. Because you're a good guy, even when you drive me nuts. But this sounds like some serious bullshit, Rin."

 

Rin refused to meet Sousuke's gaze, and the two stood locked in a tense, frigid silence, both waiting for the other to cede ground.  Time slid at a snail's pace, and when the seconds began to approach minutes, Sousuke was forced to admit he would never win a battle of 'stubborn' against Rin.  

 

With an angry tsk of his tongue, Sousuke set his beer on the counter and pulled his phone from his pocket.  "No big deal," Sousuke shrugged. "I'll just ask Rei what's going on."

 

Rin was across the kitchen with Sousuke's phone in his hand before Sousuke could fully parse what had happened.  "Holy sh… No, oh my god!" Rin cried, the naked fear on his face shocking Sousuke to silence. "Just… Please. No."

 

Breaths rapid and short, Rin stood in the middle of the room as if he was ready to bolt, and Sousuke held his hands up in surrender.  "Okay, man. I won't. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on." Gritting his teeth, Sousuke turned away, poking absently at his bottle.  "It's not easy seeing you this torn up. I'm just trying to help."

 

"I don't know what to say to him," Rin finally admitted, cringing as he returned Sousuke's phone, and dug around in the fridge for another beer.

 

"'Sorry' would be a good place to start."

 

"Mm, right," Rin replied, tone dripping with sarcasm.  "Sorry you're an asshole."

 

"And we've come full circle.  Dude, I cannot understand how you feel like you are in the 'right', forcing yourself on someone and then getting all shitty when he rebuffs you.  And hell, I don't even get how he turned you down in the first place, if he felt he needed to apologize for using you. You're leaving something out, and I feel like whatever it is, it's kinda the linchpin of the entire thing."

 

Rin let his eyes close, beginning to frustrate even himself.   _ What AM I actually upset about?  Was it that I wanted to be special to him as a sub?  Or special to him as a person? I mean, obviously it's the latter, right?  But he has no idea, because I've played all this shit off as meaningless messing around. _   "Shiiiiit…" Rin breathed, letting his chin drop to his chest.  "I'm screwed, man."

 

Sousuke took a long sip, contemplating the defeated slump of Rin's shoulders.  He was still stumped, unsure of what Rin was holding back, but an idea was beginning to gain traction in his mind…  Leaning forward, Sousuke tried to get Rin to look him in the eye. "Hey, Rin," he murmured, voice careful. "Are you in love with him?"

 

Rin paused for a moment before shaking his head, but his slow response made things a bit clearer for Sousuke.  "Oh wow," Sousuke breathed, letting his hips fall back against the counter.

 

"I wouldn't say I'm in love," Rin mumbled, glaring at his beer.

 

"Does he know?"

 

"Hell no.  And I intend to keep it that way."

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sousuke let out a shuddering sigh.  "So what actually happened?"

 

"We ended up in a situation that was a bit over the line, as far as things friends normally um, normally do.  And I mean, we were both into it, or whatever, until suddenly he wasn't, and he threw on the brakes, and then apologized for…  I guess for letting things get out of hand. He gave me the impression it would have never happened at all if he'd been thinking clearly.  Which was… kinda humiliating."

 

Softly nodding, Sousuke murmured a quiet 'yeah', taking a drink to give himself a moment to think of something to say.  "Okay, so… You were probably hoping his feelings toward you were kinda… more along the lines of what you were feeling. And he basically made it clear they weren't.  So you got all defensive and shitty, and now it's been so long since you last spoke to him that you're too embarrassed to apologize?"

 

"That's not-" Rin spluttered, cutting himself off.  "I mean, I still don't really understand what I did wrong.  Obviously, I can't tell him what I'm feeling, because that'll make shit even more awkward."

 

"You could apologize for overreacting.  'Sorry I was a whiny bitch', that sort of thing.  At least it would get the conversation started."

 

"I wouldn't have gotten pissed if he hadn't been such an ass."

 

"All he did was tell you 'no', and be honest with you.  If you can't respect that he told you the truth, whether you wanted to hear it or not, I don't know what to tell you."  Sousuke reached out, flicking Rin between his eyebrows. "Do better, man. You're a good person. Act like it."

 

Sousuke sauntered to the entryway, gathering his keys and wallet.  "You're welcome, for dinner." Rin didn't have the energy to snap back, and stood staring at the door long after Sousuke left, lost in thought.

  
  


*

  
  


"Huh.  I think hyenas are fascinating," Rei mused, almost to himself, staring off-screen while he munched a piece of celery.

 

"They're gross and loud," Nagisa countered, vehemently shaking his head.  "Lions any day."

 

"You watch too much Disney," Rei stated, swinging a mischievous smile back to the camera.

 

Nagisa's mouth dropped in faux offense, gasping dramatically and clutching at his heart.  "There is NO SUCH THING!"

 

"Anyway, get back to your story."

 

"Mm," Nagisa hummed, dropping his chin to his hand.  "And what was I saying?"

 

"Good god," Rei snickered, pointing at the laptop with a celery stick.  "Something about your friend's girlfriend being a hyena? I don't know where you were heading with it, but I felt obligated to stand up for the much maligned hyena's honor."

 

"Ugh, right.  Well, I was just gonna gripe about her a little, but now you've made me feel guilty."

 

"Are you capable of feeling guilt?"

 

Nagisa couldn't help laughing, tilting his head and looking at the camera with interest.  "You're spicy today, Rei-chan."

 

"Aren't I just?  Seriously though, what were you going to say?"

 

"Dunno," Nagisa shrugged, scootching his chair closer to the desk.  "Doesn't matter. I wanna know about you! You seem… different."

 

"Do I…  Hmm. I suppose I've been feeling a bit more focused, lately."

 

"Yeah?  What's that all about?"

 

Chewing thoughtfully on his snack, Rei considered the question, realizing it had been a while since he and Nagisa last spoke.  "Well, I had something very strange happen with a sub a few weeks ago," he began, selecting his words carefully. "I'll spare you the details, but it got me thinking a bit about what I wanted to be spending my time on, versus what I actually find myself doing."

 

Rei smiled as Nagisa 'oooh'ed with interest.   _ Bit of an understatement, really.  I was in full-on 'panic' mode for that first week.  To come to the realization that I actually have a romantic interest in someone, only to slam headlong into the fact that I am actively miserable the majority of the time, and have no business dragging someone else into such a mess… _   "You've been telling me for years, but I suppose I finally decided it was high time I did something about my work."

 

"What??" Nagisa shrieked, smiling so wide his eyes were nearly forced closed.  "Oh my GOD, Rei-chan, that is amazing!" He was practically bouncing in his chair, and Rei found his excitement infectious, a grin stretching his own features.  "I'll admit I'm a little curious, though… How does a sub get you to do something I've been begging you to do forever?"

 

"It's complicated," Rei truthfully responded, shrugging his shoulders.  "Doesn't really matter, does it? I've begun searching for someone to take my place at work- covertly, of course- and have reached out to some former colleagues and professors to see what sort of teaching opportunities are available."

 

"Uuuhmygod that is so awesoooome…" Nagisa groaned, pounding his fist on the desk.

 

"I agree.  Suppose I just needed a kick in the pants."

 

"I guess," Nagisa chuckled, shaking his head.  "You have to keep me posted, Rei-chan. I want every single detail, WHEN IT HAPPENS."

 

"Without a doubt," Rei laughed, eyes sparkling.  "It will be fun to have good news."

 

"We'll celebrate your new gig when I come up for Makoto's birthday!"

 

"Nagisa," Rei huffed, amused.  "I cannot completely change my career in two weeks."

 

Looking entirely unimpressed, Nagisa shrugged and waggled his eyebrows.  "Maybe not. But maybe so-oo…"

 

"Good lord.  And here I thought I was making admirable progress.  Little did I know I was on a deadline."

 

"I always expect a lot from you, Rei," Nagisa murmured, a fond smile on his face.  "I'm sure you'll do whatever's best. I'm gonna let you go for tonight, okay?"

 

"Alright.  Have a good evening, Nagisa."

 

"Nighty night, Rei-chan."  The two waved goodbye, the screen dimming, and Rei let himself relax into the couch.

 

_ Interesting, that he noticed a change in my demeanor.  I suppose I'm glad we spoke this evening, rather than last night or prior. _   Rei was certainly excited about getting the ball rolling on escaping his current job, but he hadn't exactly been a bundle of unadulterated cheer the past couple weeks.

 

Truth be told, the situation with Rin was constantly on his mind, and he'd done just about everything he could think of to reach out, barring personally surprising Rin somewhere and forcing him to talk.   _ I would never want to push him into an uncomfortable situation, and I fear trapping him and insisting he explain his thoughts in person would simply make things worse.  I cannot help but think there's been a misunderstanding, though… Why on earth is he so upset? _

 

The timing couldn't be worse, either…  Grappling with his newfound feelings- in addition to the concern he felt for Rin as a friend- had left him feeling more helpless and frustrated than he'd been in a long while.  He'd thought for certain that Rin would eventually cave and get a hold of him, but as the days went by, Rei felt a profound disappointment settling in his heart.

 

He held no delusions regarding Rin's potential as a lover; Rei knew what a ghastly mess he'd make of things if he so much as attempted to move things that direction.  For now, he just wanted things to be 'okay' between them, and was prepared to do almost anything to make it so.  

 

Desperate, out of ideas, and more than a little angry, Rei had left work early the day before to return Rin's boots.  Even Rei recognized it was a bit petty, but could he really be blamed? While Rin's response had been… less than ideal, Rei was thrilled to even HEAR from him, and was hopeful it meant things might be heading in a better direction.

 

Rei stretched his arms over his head, reaching out to close his laptop, and snagged his phone from the table.  The hopeful smile on his face was a perfect mirror of the one he'd worn this morning, waking up to find a text had arrived sometime during the night.

  
  


Rin: I just need a little more time.  I want to make things right.

Rei: That sounds wonderful.  I'll look forward to hearing from you.

  
  


_ The last thing in the world I need is some sort of romantic entanglement.  But I have been shown, quite clearly over the past few months, how badly I need my friends. _   Feeling calm for the first time in weeks, Rei made a vow to himself to fix his mistakes with Rin in any way he could, spending the rest of his evening tackling the cleaning he'd let slide.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad props to Sousuke, who bravely went to Rin's house and cooked dinner, fully expecting Rin to TEAR HIM APART…  Lucky for him, Rin has been so wrapped up in his own drama he has NO CLUE his bestie is dating his sister. A reprieve for now, Sou-screwed-suke.  :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to look up. Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCREEEEEEE ANOTHER CHAPTER! 
> 
> I'm having so much fun, prancing around in this playground, again. :) I hope you are, too!

Pulling the door closed behind him, Rei settled himself into his usual routine, arranging his jacket and briefcase in the closet and depositing his wallet and keys in their bowl.  "I'm home," he murmured under his breath, a wry smile curling his lips, and let his gaze sweep through the living room.  _ Maybe I should get a cat, _ he snickered to himself, heading back to his bedroom.   _ It would be nice to have SOMEone to come home to. _

 

This had been his third 'networking lunch' of sorts, and he was thrilled with how it turned out.  Chiaki-sensei had been his post-grad advisor, and was always a favorite of Rei's, so Rei had been looking forward to the get together for personal reasons, as well as professional.   _ It was wonderful to see him.  Nostalgic, in a way _ , Rei mused, feeling a bit exhilarated, and set about undressing and rehanging his slacks and suitcoat.  

 

They'd met at a small cafe, and the two had a wonderful time getting caught up, Chiaki-sensei keeping Rei in near constant laughter with his stories of errant students, bizarre class projects, student presentations gone wrong...  It hadn't been until both were nearly finished eating that Rei thought to bring up why they were meeting in the first place.

 

"There are a handful of open faculty positions you could handle without trouble," the older man had said, and Rei had barely held in an exultant shout, nodding and taking the folder the man slid across the table.  "But there is one in particular, in the Physics department, that I believe would fit you to a tee."

 

_ A full-time position, _ Rei thought, a bit disbelieving, snagging his favorite sweatpants and shuffling into them.   _ That is far better than I could have hoped. _   He'd spent quite a bit of time over the last week or so in contact with his broker, accountant, and poring over his money situation himself, their primary focus on determining how Rei could continue to meet his financial obligations while taking what was going to be, no matter the circumstances, a considerable cut in income.

 

Rei had always been responsible with his money, and while it came as no surprise, it was still comforting to realize his cushion would allow part-time work at an adjunct professor's pay for a handful of years, giving him time to work his way up to a better salary and more hours.  While a full-time position would be ideal, Rei knew he couldn't count on that sort of opportunity- either the availability of such, or his ability to actually obtain it- and there were a handful of changes Rei was already setting into motion to tighten up his finances.

 

_ The apartment has to go.  I cannot justify keeping it, even if I luck into full-time work. _   His feelings on the matter had been a bit surprising to him…  While change, in and of itself, was frightening, his overall attitude about it seemed to land on relief.   _ I suppose I'm tired of living a 'double life', of sorts.  The more time I spend with friends and others outside of work, the more complicated it has become to explain why I'm never available on those weekends. _

 

Ditching his primary source of stress-relief still had him a bit spooked, though.   _ Perhaps I'm counting on not needing such an outlet, once I've successfully extricated myself from the corporate world.  And there's always my dungeon here. _

 

With the reminder of the apartment came thoughts of Rin, Rei dropping his hands to his dresser and leaning heavily there, eyes closing as a long sigh left his lips.  He'd not heard from Rin since that last- admittedly promising- text, and while Rei was prepared to wait as long as necessary, he couldn't deny the impatience twitching in him, mentally and physically.

 

Of course, that physical impatience was a bit... concerning.   _ If nothing else, letting the apartment go gives me the perfect excuse to turn down any further play sessions with Rin, should he wish to continue.  I have no business engaging in such behavior with him, when my emotions are so obviously entangled in it. _

 

It had started long before their disastrous playdate, he'd determined.  Hindsight brought a considerable amount of clarity, and Rei supposed his first flag should have been his eagerness- beyond anything he could recall with Haru or Makoto- when it came to contacting or seeing Rin.

 

His anger after their strange 'dinner date' and almost-kiss made a lot more sense, as well.   _ I was working under the assumption that we were somehow 'special' to each other, though in what way, I do not know.  It isn't like we had ever specifically spoken about it. Still… To be surprised like that on the walk back to the station, only to then be told that sort of thing happens all the time, for him?  That he is… physically intimate with all of his friends? A bit demoralizing, isn't it? And yet I find myself tempted even now to indulge in whatever affection he would be willing to give me. _

 

"Good god, Rei," he muttered to himself, straightening and digging around for a t-shirt.  Finally dressed, Rei wandered out to the kitchen, rooting around in the fridge until he found a bottle of orange juice, then settled himself into the corner of the couch.   _ I wonder why he was so upset with me? _ Rei asked himself for what had to be the thousandth time, taking a contemplative sip.   _ Is it possible he was frustrated with my… emotional attachment to him?  That he wanted to keep things simple and casual, and felt like I ruined things when I wanted more?  Surely not. There's no way he could have known... I didn't even know! _

 

Tucking his legs beneath him, Rei set his juice on the table, lost in thought.   _ His outburst doesn't really line up with that conclusion, either, _ Rei noted.   _ If anything, it seemed to bother him that I might play in that way with all of my subs.  Though I don't understand where he would have gotten that idea. _   With a shake of his head, Rei grabbed the remote, the TV flashing to life.   _ It does me no good to try to guess at his motivations.  He'll tell me soon enough. _

 

It wasn't long before he found himself something to watch, a 'behind the scenes' show about running an aquarium that Nagisa had recommended, and let himself get wrapped up in it.  Even with all the unknowns looming in his future, Rei was feeling more hopeful than he had in years, and by the time he made his way to bed that night, it took no effort at all to fall into a deep, restful sleep.

  
  


*

  
  


"I know, but like…  What did you DO? You still haven't told me, and you know that only makes me more curious!" Isuzu cried, letting the weights fall back to the stack.

 

Rin's expression was somewhere between amused and mortified, and he shook his head slowly, internally cursing his reddened cheeks.  "I don't think I could actually get the words out, even if I wanted to. Which I don't," he mumbled, hands moving instinctively to correct her form.  "Suffice it to say, it was… obvious… that we were both enjoying it."

 

Eyebrow shooting to her hairline, Isuzu did her best to hold in her laughter.  "WELL then." Starting on her next set, Isuzu looked almost meditative, and Rin began to hope she'd drop the topic, congratulating himself when the weights returned to the stack.

 

"Great job.  Let's move to-"

 

"That makes a little more sense then," she interrupted, dropping her chin to her hand, elbow propped on her knee.  "I couldn't figure out why he'd claim he'd 'used' you, if it was just you coming on to him."

 

Cringing, Rin motioned roughly with his hand.  "Come on. You still have several-"

 

"I can't help but wonder what his reaction would have been if y'all hadn't been 'in scene'."

 

"Isuzu," Rin hissed, grabbing her arm and dragging her from the bench.  "Enough." She followed him happily, giggling and stumbling behind him, and let herself be guided to the next machine.  "Besides," he grumbled, moving the pin on the stack, "His reaction wasn't any better after dinner that one night."

 

"Hmm, true."  Eyes locked on his, a curious smile turning her lips, Isuzu began her exercises.  "So, how are you gonna fix it?"

 

"I have no idea," he breathed, flopping to a nearby chair.  "I haven't been able to come up with anything that doesn't eventually devolve into 'sorry about that, but I need your hands all over my body, and also let's get married'."

 

Barking a loud laugh, Isuzu darted a surprised glance at their surroundings.  "Holy shit," she snickered, untangling herself from the machine's arms and leaning forward.  "You uh… Wow."

 

"We're the only ones here," Rin shrugged, gesturing to the nearly empty gym.  "Slow day."

 

"I'm surprised you would say it in front of ME."

 

"Obviously I'm exaggerating, but…  I'm sick of lying about it, so."

 

Isuzu's breath left her in a long, lilting whistle.  "Are you going to tell him? How you feel?"

 

Rin slid down in the chair, draping his shoulders over the back, hands making a 'who knows' gesture.  "At this point, I've considered just about everything. Telling him the truth, telling him some outrageous and obvious lie and hoping he won't call me out on it, telling him I want to forget about the whole thing and never speak of it again, telling him I was temporarily insane and can we please scene together again…  I've ran through all sorts of scenarios in my head, and I can't see any benefit to coming clean about what I'm feeling. Like, at this point, it isn't even about being like… embarrassed, or vulnerable or whatever. I've already made such an ass of myself, I don't think I have any further to fall. I'm just trying to figure out how to save our friendship, and I don't think 'I'm falling for you' is going to serve that purpose."

 

Isuzu listened quietly, concern and no little bit of shock obvious on her face, eyebrows slowly raising until he finished his pitiful monologue.  "Wow, bubba," she finally murmured, reaching a hand out to Rin's knee. "I can't decide if you sound defeated, or determined." Lips pursing in thought, she gently squeezed his leg before sitting back.  "I'm tempted to tell you that being honest about EVERYTHING, whether you see the point or not, is probably the best course of action. But I definitely see what you mean… With how dicey things are right now, it's gotta feel a bit scary to potentially add to the confusion.  Uuugh… Why didn't you listen to me in the FIRST place??"

 

Isuzu's eyes shot to Rin when he softly laughed, and found herself smiling when he offered her a lop-sided grin.  "I don't know," he admitted. "But I didn't, and here we are."

 

The two sat quietly for a moment, considering his options.  Suddenly standing from the chair, Rin straightened his shoulders, letting out a resigned breath.  "I'm overthinking it. I'll just start with an apology, and go from there. There's no 'good' way to do this, so I'm just gonna have to fumble my way through."

 

Isuzu studied him for a moment, eventually deciding his plan seemed good enough, and nodded.  "Honestly, saying anything is better than nothing, at this point. How much longer are you gonna put it off?"

 

"I'll send him a message tonight.  See if he wants to meet up."

 

A wide smile spread across Isuzu's face, and she hopped up from the seat, clapping him on the back so hard he had to throw a foot out to catch himself.  "Hell yeah, bubba. You got this."

 

"Right," he chuckled, and the two made their way through the rest of Isuzu's workout, feeling much lighter.  Rin was barely nervous at all after he saw her off, promising her he'd contact Rei and waving cheerfully as she headed out, then slid his phone from his pocket.

  
  


Rin: I owe you an apology.  Would you like to meet up somewhere so we can talk?

  
  


Rin felt better as soon as the message was sent, relief buoying his steps as he made his way back to his desk.  He'd only just started gathering his things when he felt his phone buzz, and a small smile stole across his face.   _ That didn't take long. _

  
  


Rei: Absolutely.  Wherever and whenever is convenient for you.

Rin: Let's do tomorrow at 7, if that works.  Wanna meet at that weird-ass tanuki statue?

Rei: I will be there.  Thank you, Rin-san. I'll look forward to it.  And I'm relieved I'm not the only one that has… thoughts… about that statue.

  
  


Meeting arranged, both breathed a sigh of relief, nearly giddy as they went about their evenings.  Neither had any way of knowing, of course, but their goofy, subconscious grins, which lasted for the rest of the night, were perfect reflections of each other.

  
  


*

  
  


Rei briefly considered moving to a different spot, lips stretched into a grimace and eyes locked on the statue.  He'd chosen this particular bench so he could keep an eye out for Rin, but the sculpture itself was, in his opinion, a complete eyesore.

 

On his more charitable days, Rei presumed it depicted a scene from some legend or story lost to public knowledge, but he wasn't feeling particularly charitable at the moment.  As it stood, the monstrosity was just making him vaguely uncomfortable, and he swung his glance around the park, willing Rin to arrive.

 

_ This is what I get for arriving so early…  God, what were the city planners thinking?? _   A soft 'geh' sound left his lips when his gaze landed on the sculpture once more, eyes drawn there against his will.  

 

The piece consisted of two figures: a human male- face contorted in what Rei supposed was… concern?- hunched over, arms wrapped around a large, nearly-dead tanuki.  As for the animal, its face was stretched into a grimace of pain, and while it could presumably be interpreted as the man attempting to save the tanuki's life, or perhaps carry it to safety…   _ It's downright pornographic, _ Rei thought, amusement warring with distaste, tilting his head so only the base of the statue was in view.

 

At five minutes til, Rei caught sight of Rin's mop of red hair, and quickly hustled across the lawn.  "Hey," he called out, waving a hand in the air, but his throat was suddenly tight, and the sound was much softer than intended.   _ Oh mercy, what is…  Am I nervous? _   Gritting his teeth, he tried again, catching Rin's attention, and they made their way to each other, coming to a halt in the statue's shadow.

 

"Hello," Rei found himself saying, as if that was the proper thing to say, and not, in actual fact, horribly awkward, and Rin's eyes darted to his face before looking up at the stone sculpture.

 

"Hey," Rin muttered, waving a hand upward.  "I had kinda forgotten until I walked up, but…  God almighty."

 

A nervous titter made its way from Rei's chest, earning an answering laugh from Rin.  "It's certainly something," Rei offered, and Rin's grin widened before he slapped his hands over his face.

 

"Oh hey, Rei," Rin pushed through his fingers, "I know we haven't spoken in weeks and shit's super awkward, so wanna meet at that statue of a dude banging a raccoon dog?"

 

"Oh my god," Rei whimpered, trying to hold in his laughter.  "I can think of no better place to discuss our questionable behavior than this bastion of beastiality."

 

Loud giggling ensued, fueled largely by their nerves and the sudden realization that they had no idea what to say, and once they'd settled down, silence descended like a shroud.  Looking everywhere but at each other, both searched their minds for a way to begin, Rei cringing and shoving his hands into his pockets to keep them from nervously drumming on his legs.

 

"I'll go-" Rei began, just as Rin managed a soft 'So um', and they jerked their eyes to each other in surprise.  "Go ahead," they said in unison, and Rei let his head fall back on his shoulders, sighing uncomfortably while Rin muttered an embarrassed 'oh for god's sake'.

 

"I'll grab us some tea," Rei tried again, pointing at the vending machines, and Rin blinked as if the words took a moment to sink in.

 

"Oh.  Oh, okay," Rin eventually muttered, figuring that would at least give him a few moments to collect his thoughts, and found himself alternating between staring at Rei's ass as he walked off and glancing awkwardly at the sculpture.   _ I'm such an idiot…  Easy enough to say I'm overthinking things, but now that I'm actually here, I have no idea what to do.  And why did I suggest we meet HERE? As if we weren't already uncomfortable enough? _

 

"I'm really sorry," Rin pretty much hollered as soon as Rei returned, and Rei's eyebrows shot up, hand frozen mid-arc in his effort to hand Rin a bottle of tea.  Stepping forward, Rin snagged it and backed up, leaning against the base of the sculpture. "Thanks."

 

Rei nodded, arranging himself next to Rin.  The two stared out over the lawn, grateful for the break from the hideous statue, and, more obviously, the awkwardness of looking at each other.  When Rin didn't offer up anything further, Rei let his head thunk back against the stone, closing his eyes. "Why are you apologizing?"

 

"Because… I owe you an apology?"

 

"No…  I mean 'what are you apologizing for'.  Specifically. As far as blame, I think there's plenty to go around."

 

Rin turned his head, studying Rei's profile.  "I was… I acted like a child. You were just being honest, and I got all bent out of shape over it."

 

Rei seemed to ponder this for a while, umoving, and Rin stared at his eyelashes, fascinated by their length.   _ God, he's gorgeous…  How did I go so long without notic- _

 

"Bent out of shape over what?"  

 

Rei uttered the question so softly, Rin barely heard him, and Rin found himself leaning in with eyebrows furrowed.  "What? I mean, it was what you said. That pissed me off."

 

A slight breath puffed Rei's lips before he spoke, and when he did, his voice was tired.  "So I surmised. What, specifically, pissed you off, Rin-san? There is no way for me to avoid upsetting you again if I don't know what I did to anger you in the first place."

 

"Seriously?"  A rough laugh pushed its way from Rin's throat.  "You basically said you were using me, and that you wouldn't have been caught dead doing something like that, normally."

 

Rei exhaled softly through his nose, eyelids fluttering open, and rolled his head to look at Rin.  "Explain to me how that is any different than what you said after you nearly kissed me."

 

Feeling a bit dumbfounded, both at their proximity- their noses a few scant centimeters apart- and at Rei's perfectly reasonable statement, Rin's jaw went slack.   _ Oh god, this is completely unfair _ , he thought petulantly, his breath speeding up, and he prayed that Rei would look away, because it was becoming more and more apparent he was too weak to do it himself.  Flustered, aroused, and a bit terrified, he was finding it impossible to concentrate, only distantly aware that time was passing and he was supposed to be responding.  _ Matsuoka, holy shit, say SOMETHING.   _

 

His eyes were drawn to the curve of Rei's lips, the wide sweep of his jawline, the way his eyes seemed open yet mysterious, as if something hidden was smouldering there…   _ I want him, oh Jesus... _   "I hadn't thought of it that way," Rin finally murmured, nostrils flaring when Rei's eyes darted briefly to his mouth.

 

"I see," Rei replied, voice nearly a whisper, seeming as if he had more to say before halting, hesitant.  

 

Rin noticed they'd both taken several breaths in the ensuing silence, and he slowly became convinced neither of them were all that focused on their conversation any longer, taking in the pink of Rei's cheeks, wondering if Rei's skin was tingling the way his was, nerve endings sparking with anticipation, heart pounding in his chest...   _ YES, oh my god, he wants to kiss me, holy SHIT... _

 

"I can… try to watch that, in the future," Rei breathed, mind obviously elsewhere but apparently deciding he was supposed to say SOMEthing, and Rin's breath caught as Rei leaned down, agonizingly slowly, bringing their faces so close Rin's eyes were struggling to focus.

 

Rin felt like the world had narrowed to the thinnest sliver of reality, having no idea how long they'd been standing there, their breath mingling, deafened by the blood rushing in his veins.  Rei's eyes were nearly closed, obviously and intently staring at Rin's lips, the angle highlighting those long, dark eyelashes...  _ Jesus, just DO it, Rin.  There is NO WAY you are misinterpreting this.  He wants this just as much as you do, doesn't he? _

 

"Rei?" Rin whispered, tilting his face up ever so slightly, their chins nearly touching.  A thrill raced along his spine, electric and sharp, when Rei's lips parted, and Rin felt his hand lift from his side, wanting his fingers in Rei's hair, wanting to run his thumb along Rei's cheekbone… wanting anything he could get...

 

A sharp crack sounded over Rei's shoulder, and both men flew off the statue as if they'd been propelled by an explosion, Rin letting out a shrill shriek of terror, their eyes wide and panicked.  "What the hell was…" Rei gasped, whipping his head around, eyes immediately landing on the culprit. "Oh my god… You have got to be fucking KIDDING me." Rei stomped across the grass, picking up the frisbee that had almost nailed him, and he shot Rin a sheepish look, letting out an enormous, shuddering breath.  "I apologize for my language. I think I nearly pissed myself."

 

Rin's heart was racing, and he did his best to catch his breath, watching apprehensively as Rei trotted off to meet the woman and dog heading their direction.  While Rei's conversation with her was brief, he certainly seemed to be taking his sweet time coming back, and something about Rei's gait made Rin's stomach sink.   _ Why does he look so stiff?  Why is he walking so damned slowly?   _ There was no doubt in Rin's mind when Rei returned, stopping a few feet away, that the mood had been broken, Rei's arms crossed over his chest, body language closed off.

 

_ Nooooo…  No, what the hell!  What just happened? _   "Rei, was that my imagination, or were we-"

 

"Rin-san," Rei snapped, cutting him off.  "I should probably be heading out. Am I correct in assuming we've covered what we needed to, here?"

 

"WHAT?" Rin cried out, jerking into motion- two rushed strides covering the distance between them- only to pull himself up short, unsure.  "What did we cover? Have we solved anything? I'm more confused than when we started!"

 

Rei was stepping back even as Rin spoke, holding his hands up in front of him.  "This is bound to be uncomfortable for a bit, while we get our bearings, but I believe we cleared up any misunderstandings, correct?  We were both careless, and put each other in a bad position with our mistakes. Surely, we can do better going forw-"

 

"REI!" Rin shouted, grabbing Rei's shoulders.  "Why are you… Don't just..." Swinging his eyes to the side, unable to face the cool glare Rei was giving him, Rin clenched his jaw, scrabbling for the right words.  "We almost…" Waving pitifully toward where they had been standing, Rin took a few slow breaths, letting his other hand fall away, then forced himself to meet Rei's gaze, hoping to find answers there.  Rin could see the muscles of Rei's jaw working, Rin's eyes widening as he held his breath, waiting for Rei to speak.  

 

"We were careless," Rei finally whispered, expression unreadable.  Rin's mouth dropped open, utterly gobsmacked, and Rei turned to walk away.  "I'm sorry," he called out, never turning around. "I'll be in touch."  

 

Rin couldn't drag his eyes away from Rei's retreating form, and by the time he managed to pull himself together, Rei was long gone.

  
  


*

  
  


"What the hell is WRONG with you?" Isuzu cried, dropping her head to her knees.  "Oh my god, I swear, both of you need a friggin' CT scan of your brains. What on earth possessed you to try to make out with the guy in the middle of your apology?"

 

"It was HIM!" Rin insisted, voice ragged from hollering.  "He's the one that got all up in my face! I was prepared to just… say I was sorry…"

 

Isuzu's head was shaking, confusion clear in her expression, and she flopped backward onto the sofa.  "Okay, so you guys talked about how both of you put each other in an awkward position, all the while putting each other in yet another awkward position, and then fate flipped you the bird and nearly killed him with a frisbee, and he got all weird and stomped off?"

 

"He claimed it was another mistake, yeah, then took off."

 

Squinting, Isuzu's mouth pulled into a frown.  "I know damned well why YOU would allow that shit to happen again, but why would he?  It doesn't make any sense… Lemme see his text messages again."

 

Rin sighed and opened his phone, pulling up Rei's conversation, and passed it over.

  
  


Rei: It seems you and I are both struggling a bit with behaving appropriately around one another, and I am deeply sorry for my part in that.  I apologize for leaving so abruptly; I was quite angry with myself for my foolish actions. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise you will not have to endure such a thing from me again.

Rin: Rei…  It's not like you grabbed me and forced yourself on me.  Takes two to tango, and all that.

Rei: Yes it does.  And I promise you I will not be 'tango'ing.  So. Problem solved.

Rin: That simple, huh?  You sure looked like you wanted it.

Rei: I'm not certain what you're trying to accomplish, but I am sorry, nonetheless.  We don't always act in our own self-interests.

Rin: Aren't you being kinda uptight about this whole thing?  Nothing even happened.

Rei: And you were so furious with me you wouldn't speak to me for three weeks, the last time nothing happened.  Forgive me for being cautious.

Rei: If I dig down past all of this nonsense, the heart of the matter is this: I am not interested in doing anything that will threaten our friendship.  Which means putting a stop to all of this. And I do mean ALL of it.

Rin: Oh wow, are you sure you wanted to say that here?  Maybe you should have sent an email…

Rei: Good night, Rin-san.

Rin: Are you pissed?

Rei: Good night.

Rin: Look… I get it, okay?  I don't want to mess up our friendship, either.  I'm kinda joking around about it because I don't know what else to do with it.  I'm really sorry. Have a good night.

Rei: You as well.

Rei:  :)

  
  


"He is SO STINKIN' CUTE, Rin…" Isuzu crooned, scrolling back up and re-reading.  "Awkward as HELL, but adorable… What's with this little smiley face? What a dork!"

 

Rolling his eyes, Rin snagged the phone, pocketing it and ignoring her pleas to give it back.  "He's always been like that. Just really… genuine, I guess. Says what he feels. I'd imagine he sent the smiley so I'd know he wasn't upset."

 

"Hnnng," Isuzu whined, flopping back out over the sofa.  "Well… So what I'm trying to figure out is whether he maybe has some feels for you."

 

Rin's eyebrow raised, sceptical.  "Seems like he's had plenty of opportunities to say so."

 

Isuzu lifted her head, giving him a dramatic, dead-eyed stare.  "So have you."

 

"It wouldn't do any good, Isuzu.  Why make things even more awkward?" 

 

Waving a dismissive hand in the air, Isuzu let out a loud, obnoxious sigh.  "Honestly, that's not what's bugging me. What I want to know is… Why would he do it?  Why would he… I mean, he basically kissed you, for all intents and purposes. You guys were interrupted, but he not only intended to, but CONFIRMED it, afterward.  It's not like you imagined it, or misunderstood. So like… Why?"

 

Rin shrugged, letting himself fall onto the other arm of the couch.  "It doesn't make sense to me, either. He's not stupid. He's the sort of dude that actually LEARNS from his mistakes, unlike me…"

 

"Exactly.  So what the hell was he thinking?"

 

Rin's pitiful grunt was clearly not an appropriate reply in Isuzu's opinion, and she shot up, punching him in the thigh.  "Focus, Matsuoka! We gotta get to the bottom of this."

 

"I don't wanna think about it anymore.  Clearly, he isn't exactly tripping over himself to make me miso soup in the mornings, so I just need to pine until I'm over it, and act like none of this ever happened."

 

"Rin.  Rin, look at me."  When Rin dragged his gaze to Isuzu, her eyes were alight with determination.  "Here's what I think. I'm not trying to like, give you false hope or anything.  But I see this meaning one of two things. Either he is deliberately messing with you, or he couldn't help himself.  Meaning, either he's the sort of person that delights in other people's misery, or he has some pretty serious feelings for you."  Rin blinked, letting her words sink in, and Isuzu's lips curled into a smile when she saw the proverbial lightbulb flick on, for him. "And you know he isn't a monster."

 

"No, he isn't," Rin breathed.

 

"It's high time you go on the offensive, Rin. I think he wants you. You want him. Go get him."

 

Isuzu leaned over, holding up her hand, and it only took a moment for Rin's face to break out in an enormous grin, giving her a high five that had her palm still stinging when she made her way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shakes fist at frisbee* WHYEEEEEE


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They reach a tipping point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *squinting* I see the light at the end of this 'slow burn' tunnel, friends!!
> 
> I'm having so much fun writing these two, fumbling and dancing around each other like awkward, newborn giraffes...

Rin: Hahaha, Kisumi just asked me how 'intimidating' you are.

Rei: Me?

Rin: Yeah. I think he's hoping for another Seijuurou.

Rin: Or that you have like, a neck tattoo or something.

Rei: I do not, as you well know, but perhaps something could be arranged…  *eyes permanent marker*

Rin: YESSSS

Rin: It would be hilarious if you showed up with a 'tattoo' of like… a teddy bear holding a balloon

Rei: Two manatees hugging (with little anthropomorphic smiles)

Rin: A heart with a ribbon across the middle that says 'Mama's Boy'

Rei: Or 'Quilting is Life'

Rei: And it would be all the more effective if, as I sweat, it obviously starts to run.

Rin: BAHAHAHA

Rin: I would list your intimidation factor at 8 of 10

Rei: *laughs*  Yep, I'm terrifying.

Rin: No, I'm being serious.  You've always been an intense competitor, and you seem to have a natural ability to look like you are The Boss.  Not that I would know. From personal experience.

Rei: Oho, is that right?  I fear that may have more to do with the fact that you enjoy being told what to do.

Rin: I guess it's pointless to deny it.  :) When it's you, I enjoy it. A lot, actually.

  
  


Rei's lips pulled from his teeth, grimacing at his phone.  Since their epic failure to communicate at the statue, Rei had been in a near-constant state of confusion regarding Rin.  He was FURIOUS with himself for getting caught up in the moment, a bit terrified at how easily his decision to keep things platonic had flown out the window just because of some physical proximity.  

 

He'd managed to avoid seeing Rin since then, despite Rin's nearly daily attempts otherwise.  Invitations to join him for dinner, suggestions they meet up for a jog, dastardly tempting propositions for weekend breakfasts…  Rei didn't trust himself one bit, and was currently dealing with the situation by… simply not dealing with it.

 

And then there were the text messages.   _ Even I am not THAT dense.  He is flirting. Why? Is he like this with all of his friends?  I'd be too embarrassed to ask anyone. _   Rei had nearly choked on his own tongue a few nights prior; Rin had sent a 'Pics, please' message with a series of progressively more embarrassing emoji-  _ a yum face?  Sweat? AN EGGPLANT?? _ \- in response to Rei's innocuous complaint about the quality of stitching on his boxer briefs.

 

Rei had immediately regretted the decision to mention his undergarments at all, figuring the blame for his fiercely flushed cheeks rested at least partially with himself, and promised himself he'd be more cautious.  Of course, that was proving to be easier said than done, both because he never knew what would set Rin off, and because he found himself irresistibly drawn to pushing his luck.  

 

_ Good god, I'm a mess.  I shouldn't have mentioned his submissive tendencies…  I'm doing a terrible job at enforcing distance between us. _   Pushing out a determined breath, Rei did his best to steer the conversation back into safer waters.

  
  


Rei: Oh, I meant to ask you!  Does your mother like homemade pickles?  I've canned too many and I'll never get through them all.

Rin: You made your own…  Wow. Rei, I'm pretty sure if you made it, my mom will love it.  I would not be surprised to visit her one day and find her wearing a 'President of the Ryuugazaki Rei Fan Club' t shirt

Rei: That is incredibly flattering to hear.  She is a tremendous woman.

Rin: I am waiting…

Rei: ??  What did I miss?

Rin: for you to offer me your pickle

  
  


_ KILL ME, THIS IS SO AWKWARD!  _ Rei internally cried, forehead dropping to his palm.   _ And is that supposed to be sexy?  It sounds like something a 13 year-old boy would say! _

  
  


Rei: Oh!  Of course!  I have a jar for you, as well.

  
  


Sliding his phone across the counter and out of view, Rei prayed Rin would leave well enough alone, absently checking his veggies simmering on the stove.  To be truthful, he had a much larger problem looming on the horizon…

 

_ Nagisa will be here in four days. _   Rei's eyes darted to his phone, the buzzing alerting him to another text, and he forced down a slightly terrified groan.   _ He has a preternatural ability to sniff out the slightest inconsistency in my behavior.  He's going to know something's going on as soon as I pick him up at the airport. _

 

Rei had nearly come clean with Nagisa several times already, figuring it would be easier to weather the storm of 'HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME FOR SO LONG' while there were still several hours and an ocean in between them, but hadn't quite worked up the courage.  He convinced himself each time that it was about preserving Rin's privacy, feeling it wasn't his place to share Rin's business, but he knew an excuse when he heard it, even when he was offering it to himself.

 

_ There would be no need to share anything about our BDSM interactions.  Just telling Nagisa of my concerns relating to my... emotional entanglement... should suffice.  It would doubtless feel good to be honest about it with someone. _

 

It couldn't be denied that Rei hadn't even managed that, though, and it hadn't taken him long to root out the source of his aversion to that particular confession. _   I'm ashamed of myself, _ he admitted, cringing.   _ Not only of my deplorable behavior, but the fact that I allowed myself to entertain the notion at all.  Rin-san and I finally reconnected, and I allowed myself to read further into his behavior than I should have, developing feelings for someone who has no desire for that sort of thing from me. _

 

His gaze snuck back to his phone despite his best efforts, and with a resigned sigh, he returned to it, rolling his eyes at his lack of willpower.

  
  


Rin: Sounds good.  Thanks, Rei.

  
  


_ Innocent enough. _   Rei supposed he should be feeling relieved, but the hint of disappointment lurking in his mind stuck with him all through dinner.  The truth was, he liked it, the attention allowing him to pretend Rin was genuinely interested in him, as long as he didn't think about it too carefully.  

 

The playful suggestiveness of many of their recent conversations was… titillating, to say the least, Rei's mind straying more and more often to his memories of Rin's unclothed body when he was pleasuring himself.  Having said that, it never failed to make him feel terrible afterward, and he was careful to limit his imagination to looking and not touching, feeling the distinction left SOME semblance of dignity for himself (and the object of his unrequited desire).

 

His unconscious mind had no such compunctions, however.  Upon waking that morning, he had been faced with a situation he hadn't dealt with in years; his sheets were a disaster, and it had only taken Rei a moment to recall his dream with horrifying clarity.  

 

"Oh no," he breathed, trying desperately to focus on his dinner cleanup, his cock twitching with interest at the mere recollection.  It had begun innocently enough, the two walking together at the park where they'd had their disastrous meetup, holding hands and chatting.   _ I'm a hopeless romantic, even in my dreams, it seems, _ Rei thought to himself, a tiny laugh puffing from his nose.

 

It hadn't taken long for things to take a turn, though…  What had started as kissing near the pond's edge quickly morphed into their bodies naked and entwined in the water, arousals pressed needily into each other's thigh, rutting against one another while Rei had left a trail of reddened bite marks along Rin's neck and collarbone.

 

_ Shit, _ Rei's mind spat out, his eyes falling closed as he pushed himself against the counter, hips rocking, ditching his dish gloves and bracing himself on the sink's edge.   _ I shouldn't be doing this… _

 

In that inexplicable way dreams have, the scene had switched abruptly, Rei finding himself with fingers tangled in Rin's hair, his other hand locked on Rin's hip.  Rin was bent over a bench in what Rei eventually recognized as the Samezuka locker room, hands braced on the polished wood, with Rei's cock snugged into the cleft of his ass.  

 

The memory of pushing himself into Rin's body had Rei gasping and fumbling with his zipper, roughly tugging himself from his underwear as a low moan left his throat.  Without the patience for finesse, Rei gripped tightly around his cockhead, wrist rolling, fingers dragging along his frenulum. "Oh god," he choked out, imagining Rin's voice calling out to him, raw and ragged with need, wanting him, BEGGING him…  It took only a few, frenzied moments to bring himself to completion, barely remembering to snag a paper towel so he could catch his mess.  

 

Aftershocks still pebbling his arms with goosebumps, sensation pulsing erratically up his spine, Rei sagged against the counter.  "Damn it," he whispered, utterly disgusted with himself, and refused to go anywhere near his phone for the remainder of the evening.

  
  


*

  
  


Rin: Help

Isuzu: What's wrong, bubba?

Rin: I think Rei is purposely avoiding me.

Isuzu: Why?

Rin: Dunno, but he's managed to weasel his way out of every single thing I've suggested we do since Frisbee-gate.

Isuzu: Aren't y'all supposed to see each other tonight?

Rin: YES, WITH LIKE 10 OTHER PEOPLE

Rin: It's gonna be so awkward!!  What am I supposed to do??

Isuzu: Is he like… not speaking to you?

Rin: No, nothing like that.  We text a lot, and have talked on the phone a couple times.

Rin: I've been trying to be more obvious about what I want, but every time I say anything even remotely flirty, he immediately changes the subject.

Isuzu: I'm really sorry to hear that, Rin.

Rin: Maybe the guy really does just want me to leave him alone.

Isuzu: Well, maybe.  But how the hell are you ever gonna know for sure if you don't just ask him?  I thought you were gonna tell him how you feel??

Rin: HOW DO I TELL HIM HOW I FEEL WHEN I NEVER SEE HIM

Rin: I'M NOT GONNA DO IT VIA TEXT, I'M NOT A TEENAGER

Isuzu: For some reason, that makes me very proud of you.  And a little surprised. Hahahahaa

Rin: Make fun of me all you want, but please, please help.

Isuzu: I don't know what you want me to do.  I can't force the guy to meet up with you.

Isuzu: When is dinner?

Rin: 7:30

Isuzu: Okay, here's my only idea.  You've got a few hours. Make up some excuse to see him, make it convincing, and if he tries to say no, call him out on avoiding you and tell him you don't want the first time you guys see each other after that MESS at the park to be in front of a bunch of other people.

Rin: Seems like a pretty good plan, honestly.  Better than anything I came up with.

Isuzu: I hope it helps.  Good luck, bubba. Be brave.

Rin: I'll do my best.

  
  


Rin: Hey you around

Rei: I am.  What's up?

Rin: I need your help.  

Rei: I'm always happy to help you, Rin-san.  How can I be of service?

Rin: I know what I want to get Makoto for his birthday, but I have to go to the arcade to get it.  And I will die of embarrassment being seen there alone, the only adult in a sea of children. Will you come with me?

Rei: That sounds incredibly fun, but I'm afraid I can't.  Nagisa is my houseguest for the weekend, and it would be rude of me to leave him.  Oh! We could all go together!

Rin: NO no no no

Rei: Rin-san?

Rin: Have you already asked him?

Rei: No…  What's going on?

Rin: Look, I know I'm kinda just springing this on you, or whatever, but you've been avoiding me for the last two weeks, so you've kinda forced my hand.  I really, REALLY don't want the first time we lay eyes on each other after that bullshit 'conversation' we had at the statue to be in front of all of our closest friends.  Can we please meet up before dinner? Help me at the arcade? It'll only be a couple hours… Nagisa won't die. He knows his way around.

Rei: I have.  Been avoiding you.  I'm sorry. This is all terribly awkward, isn't it?  Jesus, what a mess. I definitely understand where you're coming from, but what am I supposed to tell Nagisa?  Wouldn't it serve primarily the same purpose if the three of us went to the arcade?

Rin: I need it to just be you, Rei.  Please.

  
  


Rin stared unblinking at his phone, willing Rei to respond.   _ I guess it's not the end of the world if he refuses.  And yeah, it would be better than nothing, if it ended up being the three of us at the arcade.  Except Nagisa is FREAKY perceptive, and he'd be on to me in a heartbeat. _   A nervous titter made its way from his chest.   _ Okay, you got me, Nagisa…  I've wanted to make disgusting, sticky, athletic love to your best friend for months, and also want to watch him sleep so I can count his eyelashes. _

 

The typing dots appeared, cutting off Rin's amused daydreaming, and Rin held his breath.

  
  


Rei: Okay.  Let me see what I can do.  I'll text you when I know for sure.

  
  


"Oh Jesus," Rin murmured, nervousness hitting him like a brick in the gut.   _ Do or die time.  After this, I'll know one way or the other what sort of mess I've gotten myself into. _   Unable to sit still, Rin shot up from the couch, jittery and tense, pacing his living room before stomping to the bathroom to brush his teeth, needing something to do with his hands.  Luckily, Rei didn't make him wait long.

  
  


Rei: I can be there in an hour.  Near East Station?

Rin: YES.  Seriously, thank you.

Rei: It isn't a problem.  I'll see you then.

  
  


*

  
  


"Nagisa," Rei called, hurriedly pulling on his slacks, foregoing the ironing they desperately needed in service of getting out of the house before Nagisa could pick up on what he was doing.

 

"Yes, dear?" Nagisa hollered from his nest on the living room couch, squinting as he scrolled through channels on Rei's TV.

 

Snagging his blazer from the hanger, Rei set off down the hall, brisk strides carrying him to the kitchen to retrieve his other set of keys.  "I'm terribly sorry; I'm going to have to run out for a bit. Maintenance called from the apartment complex; apparently, someone upstairs had an issue with a water pipe, and it is leaking through the ceiling into my place."

 

"What?" Nagisa shrieked, flinging the fleece blanket he'd been wrapped in to the side and leaping from the sofa.  "Rei-chan, that's terrible! What about Mako's dinner?"

 

Rei waved what he hoped was a nonchalant hand in the air, shrugging.  "I'd imagine they will just need to verify what repairs will need to be made and when, so I don't expect to be there all night.  I'll meet you all at the restaurant, okay?"

 

"Do you want me to go with you?" Nagisa asked, darting a glance down to his sweatpants.  "I can just…"

 

"Not necessary.  Relax, and I'll see you at 7:30, alright?"

 

A slight pout pulled at the corner of Nagisa's lips, but he nodded, making a shoo-ing gesture.  "Okay, then. I hope you're able to get everything figured out quickly."

 

"You and me both," Rei murmured, shooting Nagisa an exaggerated grimace, and Nagisa giggled as he pulled the door closed behind him.   _ If you only knew, _ Rei thought grimly, squaring his shoulders and heading out.

  
  


*

  
  


Glancing up from his phone, Rin spotted Rei stepping off the train and slowly stood, sucking in a fortifying breath.   _ I'm sick of lying.  I'm sick of not knowing.  I'm sick of hoping for something I can't have. _   Rin waved his hand, catching Rei's eye, and began walking forward.  

 

_ For better or worse, I'll know my fate by the time we go to dinner, tonight.   _ Rin's eyes suddenly widened.   _ Wait, WAIT... _

 

Feet stumbling slightly, a sharp breath hissed past his teeth.   _ Dear god…  What the hell am I thinking?  I will NOT be able to hold my shit together, if he rejects my ass and then we have to go make nice in front of a bunch of people that know us better than anyone else!  FUCK, I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! ABORT, MATSUOKA! _

 

Oblivious to the panicked cringe on Rin's face, Rei lifted a timid hand in greeting.  He wasn't capable, at this point, of pretending he was anything other than nervous as hell, expression openly apprehensive, and once they came to a stop, uncomfortably standing together in the middle of the station, Rei softly cleared his throat.  "Well," he breathed, eyes locked on Rin's shoes.

 

"Come on," Rin said, injecting as much confidence as he could into his voice, doing an admirable job of ignoring the terrified litany of  _ 'oh my god oh my god oh my GOD' _ running through his head, and headed for the arcade.  "I've only got an hour or so to try to win this damned thing."

 

"Rin-san."

 

Turning slightly, Rin saw Rei hadn't moved, and he came to halt, raising an eyebrow in question.  "You comin'?"  _ Oh god, please don't make this any harder than it already is... _

 

"What is this about?  I'm still unclear as to why I wasn't supposed to bring Nagisa along."

 

A drawn out sigh escaped Rin's lips, hands twitching into fists at his sides.  _  Because I wanted to see you.  Because I'm tired of pretending I don't think about you nonstop.  Because I needed you. Because I want you to touch me, and look at me like you need me, too.  Because not knowing has grown more painful than any rejection could ever be. _   Rin lifted his fingers to his temples, letting his eyes close as he paused for a moment.  "Because you are so nervous you look physically sick, and if you are having that much trouble trying to act normal, I can't even IMAGINE what a disaster I am."  

 

_ Good.  Good excuse.  You got this, Matsuoka.   _ "Let's get our jitters out here, so we aren't walking billboards of awkward, at dinner."

 

Rin had no luck interpreting the expression on Rei's face, and they stood without speaking for a moment, Rin beginning to wonder if he'd messed up somehow.

 

"I do kind of feel like I could vomit," Rei finally admitted, a hint of a smile curling his lips.

 

"Yeah," Rin agreed, feeling his shoulders relax slightly.  "Me too."

 

Rei tilted his head back, eyes squinting up at the dwindling light, the sky beginning to purple out as the oranges and blues faded.   _ Maybe my best bet here is a bit of honesty,  _ Rei decided, taking a slow breath. _   Otherwise, I'm not certain I'm going to survive this evening. _   "Rin-san…"  

 

_ Just say it.  It isn't like it's a secret, at any rate.  Having it out in the open might make it easier to ignore. _   "I've been avoiding spending time alone with you because I find myself…"  Rei paused, letting his chin fall, a wry smile on his face. "Well. I suppose you know."

 

Rin's nostrils flared, breath catching at the openly mischievous gleam in Rei's eyes.  "Oh man," Rin chuckled, feeling the tension flow out of himself in a loud, hitching laugh.  "Haha, that's… Yeah, I understand."

 

Grinning widely, Rin stepped back to Rei, offering him a shrug.   _ That's good enough for now, right?  He may not have feelings for me, but he isn't running away from me, and it seems like at least the physical attraction is there…  For tonight, that'll do. _   "Come on.  Let's go make asses of ourselves in front of all the little kids.  I can remember when I was young, I always used to wonder about the 'old people' that would hang out in arcades."

 

"I don't think I've set foot in one in years," Rei snickered, a relieved smile on his face.  "Why are we here, again?"

 

"Depends on your point of view.  Either A: I forgot to get Makoto a gift until the last minute, and can't be arsed to go shopping, or B: I am here to use my superior skills and intellect to win Makoto a gift you can't buy in any store.  Or we could go with the truth, which is that he told me his dog tore up his favorite whale plushy, and you can apparently only get them here, and while I don't understand how a grown man has a 'favorite plushy', I'm prepared to charge into the breach, embarrassed or not."

 

The two set off toward the doors in unison, Rei chuckling softly.  "A whale plushy… Okay, then. I'm eager to see these so-called 'skills' in action."

 

"Prepare to have your mind blown," Rin murmured, reaching out to wrap his fingers around Rei's upper arm, squeezing slightly, and let his hand linger there for a few moments before pulling away.  He wasn't entirely sure why he did it, and knew he was pushing his luck, but the look Rei turned to him didn't seem angry. It was more contemplative than anything, really, and when Rei's lips curled into a tiny smile, Rin's galloping heart made for an eager soundtrack, carrying him excitedly through the door.

  
  


*

  
  


"Dear god, we'll be here all night!" Rei choked out through his laughter, flopped in faux exhaustion against the glass of the claw machine.  "How much did you bring to spend?"

 

Rin was giggling too, slapping a hand over his eyes.  "Oh my god, I'm terrible at this," he tittered, cringing, and looked up.  "What, like you'd be any better?"

 

"HOW COULD I BE ANY WORSE?" Rei guffawed, slapping playfully at the finger Rin had pushed to his chest.  "It's excruciating to watch you!" They continued to chuckle, staring pitifully through the glass, and Rei found himself wondering when he'd last laughed this much.   _ I am having an absolute blast. _   They'd been teasing each other nonstop since they walked in, Rin full of bluster and bravado, claiming he could master every game and machine with his eyes closed, and Rei making no secret of the fact he thought Rin was utterly full of shit.

 

"If you're so confident," Rin murmured, shuffling sideways to press his thigh against Rei's, "Then YOU do it."  With his last word, he delivered a sharp bump to Rei's side, making him stumble in order to catch his balance, and snickered happily at Rei's exasperated eye-roll.  

 

And that was a… thing… too, Rei noted, cheeks warm.   _ He has been in almost constant physical contact with me all evening.  Letting our shoulders brush, putting his hand on my back, grabbing my blazer to drag me around…  It's… quite nice. _

 

Rei took a quick, fortifying breath, steeling his resolve, then offered Rin a careless shrug.  "If I must," he replied, and before Rin could step aside, Rei was behind him, arms on either side of Rin's body.  "A lesson from a true master," he breathed, voice low and thick near Rin's ear, and Rei settled his hands over Rin's, directing them to the controls.

 

For a moment, Rin went rigid in Rei's loose embrace, and the shuddering breath Rin managed to force out sent a thrill racing along Rei's skin.   _ Careful, Rei, _ he admonished himself, adjusting so only his upper body was in contact with Rin's back.  "Okay, let's begin," Rei instructed, tone light and conversational, and pulled Rin's fingers to the 'start' button.

 

It was all of thirty seconds before the deed was done, and Rin's mouth fell open, dumbfounded.  "Unbelievable," he muttered, watching the claw carry his prize to the chute, and when it finally fell, Rin shook his head, meeting Rei's gaze in the mirror.  "You weren't kidding about being…" His lips flattened. "A master."

 

Rei's sudden, uncontrollable laughter caught Rin completely by surprise, and they pulled apart, Rei bracing himself with hands on his knees as he cackled.  "Oh my god!" Rei cried, shoulders heaving. "I was completely joking! I'm awful at these games… I can't believe I did it!"

 

Rin felt his own lips tugging into a smile, and he leaned forward, lowering his voice.  "I can't either. I was having trouble concentrating."

 

Rei's laughter immediately quieted, a single titter escaping his chest as he straightened, his expression one of surprised amusement.  "Right?" he nearly whispered, and the sound felt bizarrely intimate, as if they were the only two people in the entire building. With eyes locked on each other, they fell silent, the space between them crackling with an almost electric potential.

 

"Well!" Rin suddenly blurted, his grin a bit manic.  "We did it!" Eyes darting around the room, Rin found what he was looking for, turning back to Rei.  "And now we commemorate our victory."

 

"Commemorate?" Rei squeaked, blinking as if just waking up, tilting his head while Rin snagged the hard-won plushy from the machine.  "What-"

 

Rei snapped his jaw shut when Rin's hand closed over his, and then Rin was pulling him across the garish carpet, past the first-person shooters and dance challenges, the VR booths and multi-player trivia games, shooting a wicked smile over his shoulder at Rei's confused frown.   _ I have no idea what he's doing, but this is… _   Staring down at their joined hands, Rei felt something warm- and painful- throb within his chest.   _ I'm such a fool.  But I can't help myself. _   With teeth gritting, Rei wrapped his fingers around Rin's, clasping them firmly, and with a nearly imperceptible stumble in his step, Rin quickly squeezed back.

 

Rei was still marvelling at the soft, solid feeling of Rin's hand in his when Rin abruptly shook himself loose, coming to a stop.  "Ta da!" Rin exulted, swinging out an arm to draw Rei's attention to their next activity.

 

"Purikura??" Rei hooted incredulously, head shaking as he looked around, and found they'd drawn a bit of attention, Rei's look of apprehension perfectly matching those of the little girls staring back at them.  "Are we even allowed over here?" Rei worriedly whispered, darting a glance to a group of schoolgirls now giggling and surreptitiously pointing their direction.

 

"Coward," Rin purred, spinning on his heel to take in the sight.  "I'll let you choose the machine."

 

"Aren't they all the same?!"

 

"Pretty much.  So don't waste a lot of time deciding."

 

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Rei whined under his breath, just wanting it to be over, and made his way to a red booth, unable to force himself to pick one of the many that were pink.  "This is fine."

 

Rin was right on his heels, popping money into the slot, and Rei watched in slowly growing fascination as Rin's fingers flew over the display.  "What… What are you doing? You seem like quite the expert," he added, chuckling.

 

"I was pretty vain, as a child," Rin shrugged, focused on the screen.  "I'm just selecting poses and backgrounds."

 

"Huh."  Despite his confusion, Rei couldn't help his curiosity, finding the whole experience to be quite entertaining.  "Poses?"

 

"They're just suggestions.  You can do whatever you want."  Tapping one final 'okay', Rin gestured to Rei, waving him closer.  "It's time," he intoned, stepping in the booth.

 

"I'm afraid," Rei snickered, pushing his way in, and the two immediately started laughing.  "Clearly, this is not set up for two fully grown men."

 

"Shut up and sit down," Rin snorted, gesturing to a tiny bench, and Rei did his best, cramming himself into the corner.

 

Rin wedged himself in beside, the two giggling while they tried to figure out what to do with their shoulders, and the countdown timer began.  "Hold still!" Rin hissed, laughing, and managed to lift their plushy into frame just as the camera shutter clicked.

 

"This is ridiculous," Rei whimpered, holding in his laughter, pointing at the photo displayed.  "We look like idiots!"

 

"Stop flapping your gums and smile, or something!" Rin replied, the countdown ticking again, and the second photo turned out much better, Rin with an eyebrow cocked haughtily over a confident sneer, Rei's smile toothy and wide and happy.

 

"Peace signs," Rin stated, tone brooking no dissent, and Rei wriggled forward a bit to free an arm.

 

"I've never felt so huge," Rei tittered, doing his best to turn his body so he only took up half the frame.

 

Fingers splayed in Rin's suggested manner, the two made ridiculous faces as the shutter snapped, and Rin turned his own torso toward Rei.  "Oversized beast," he teased, jabbing Rei in the ribs with an elbow. "Let's get a nice one. Normal smiles."

 

Dutifully looking forward, Rei grinned at the camera, Rin doing the same.  "There we go," Rin whispered, and just before the countdown ended, he leaned over, planting a kiss on the side of Rei's face.

 

The camera caught Rei's wide-eyed surprise, Rin's eyes closed with a hand on Rei's chest, lips smushed into the hollow of Rei's cheek.

 

Rin's face immediately flushed, and Rei stared at him, gobsmacked.   _ Why would he… _   When Rin lifted his gaze, their eyes met, and Rei sucked in a sharp breath.  The rest of the world fell away, neither noticing the cramped quarters nor the droning of the descending countdown in the background, their focus narrowing to this single present moment.  Rin's lips, plump and red, distantly reminded Rei of the Fall of Man, a deep and profound understanding of the true meaning of 'temptation' making his mind slow like honey.  _ Fuck my life, _ Rei thought pitifully, leaning closer, lips parted with breath coming fast, and paused just before they touched.

 

"Do it," Rin whispered.

 

_ God save me, _ Rei begged internally, surrendering as his eyes fluttered closed, the tenuous threads of his self-control snapping, and when their lips met, finally, FINALLY, goosebumps exploded across Rei's entire body, nerves singing.

 

It was soft, tentative, mouths gently pressed together, and Rei felt a tiny breath flutter over his face from Rin's nose.   _ Holy shit… _

 

The shutter-click was deafening in the sudden silence, and Rin startled, pulling away before Rei slammed him against the wall, hands on his shoulders.  "No," Rei said simply, and without any further warning, Rei's tongue pushed into Rin's mouth, Rin gasping and grabbing onto Rei's shoulder blade, pulling him even closer.

 

Something teetering between a growl and a moan rattled from Rei's chest, and then the world was nothing but sensation, wet tongues rolling urgently over and against each other, fingers scrabbling at Rei's blazer, a hand clutching instinctively into Rin's hair, glasses pushed askew and teeth nipping hungrily at each other as the nearly unbearable tension between them released, warmth flooding their bodies.

 

Rei choked back a desperate groan when Rin threw his leg over Rei's lap, doing anything he could to get them closer, their lips never parting, harsh, rapid breaths erupting from their nostrils.  Growling in frustration, Rin clambered onto Rei's lap, both men gasping at the pressure and the delicious heat seeping into each other from the newfound contact.

 

"Oh my god," Rei whimpered, pressing his forehead into Rin's, and tightly snugged his arms around Rin's back.  Rin hissed with pleasure at the hoarse edge to Rei's voice, tongue darting to Rei's jawline, arousal twitching as he pushed their hips together.  They were both at 'full attention', bodies hypersensitive to every touch, and with the reminder of their aroused states, Rei let his head thunk back against the booth.  "We can't do this here," he mumbled through Rin's frantic kisses, barely intelligible, but Rin sighed and dropped his head to Rei's shoulder all the same.

 

"Fuck," was all Rin could manage, and felt Rei's chest shake with a silent, resigned laugh.

 

"Yeah."

 

Heaving an enormous sigh, Rin lifted himself up, turning slightly away, scrubbing his hands through his hair.  "What am I supposed to do with this," he muttered, and Rei needed no explanation, his own 'problem' obvious.

 

"Ignore it and hope no one notices, I suppose."  With effort, Rei managed to stand up without crowding too far into Rin.  "We should… collect our photos."

 

Without another word, both arranged themselves in their pants, eyes averted, and made their way to the printing booth.  Rei was certain he'd never been more uncomfortable in his life, terrified one of the hundreds of young girls flitting around would notice his disheveled state and begin a panicked chorus of 'PERVERT!', leading to both Rei and Rin being thrown in jail and utterly ruining Makoto's birthday celebration.

 

Thoughts spinning ever more disastrous scenarios, Rei kept his eyes on the floor, letting Rin do… whatever it was he was doing at the machine, and while he would have rather been ANYWHERE else at the moment, he had to admit his terror at being discovered was doing a commendable job of squashing his desire.  By the time they stepped back into the main arcade, both were breathing a bit more normally, relief splashed across their faces, and they bolted for the front door.

 

When the chill, autumn air hit their lungs, they darted a glance to each other, heading the same direction without needing to speak, and came to rest, sagging, against a pillar.  "Oh my god," Rin eventually giggled, setting the two of them off into uncontrollable laughter.

 

"What on earth is WRONG with us?" Rei cried, yanking his glasses from his face and rubbing roughly at his eyes.  "Are we teenagers?"

 

"OOOOH SHIT… REI, THESE PICTURES…"

 

Rei began to wonder if a human could perish from laughter, unable to stop, each of them egging the other back into hysterics anytime one or the other managed to regain a bit of control.  Rei had to admit the pictures turned out surprisingly well, finding his gaze lingering on the last one, wondering how many couples in the world could claim they had a photo of their first kiss.

 

_ Not that we're a couple.  Or anything at all, really, except friends that seem to be irresistibly drawn to making terrible decisions together. _   Rei's pragmatic- but rather depressing- thoughts sobered him up quickly, the giggles dying in his throat.  Now, having had a moment to consider what they'd done, his chest felt tight, stomach unsettled, and he blinked in surprise at the moisture smarting in the corners of his eyes.

 

"What time is it," he muttered, kicking at a small stone, and Rin's chuckling subsided.

 

"Um," Rin breathed, digging around in his pocket, pulling out his phone.  "Oh shit. It's after seven." Rei's uncomfortable silence was contagious, and Rin audibly swallowed, eyes landing everywhere except his friend.  "Guess we better go."

 

Rei nodded, a terse 'yup' popping from his lips, and turned without looking up, heading off down the sidewalk, Rin scrambling to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED, THEY KISSED, THEY FINALLY EFFING KISSED! 
> 
> Not that it helped. *cries in frustration* USE YOUR WORDS, BOYS!
> 
> *peeks from behind a wall* Please don't throw anything at me...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps honesty has a taste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE ALMOST THERE, Y'ALL! At this point, we ALL deserve this 'happy ever after'!!!
> 
> If you are still reading this, BLESS YOU, and thank you for joining me on this journey! We're close enough to taste it, now...

Rin scowled at the pavement, taking longer strides than he was necessarily comfortable with, doing his best to keep up with Rei.   _ Well, this is a nightmare.  What the hell happened? It's like a switch flipped!  Things were going so well, and then… _   Rin shot a furtive glance to his side, wincing at the grave, pensive expression on Rei's face.

 

They'd been walking in complete silence for nearly ten minutes now, Rin growing more and more frustrated.  His jaw clenched, desperately searching his mind for the right thing to say or do… Whatever progress they'd made at the arcade seemed gone, the two firmly entrenched in their painful awkwardness once more, and it was sick-making.   _ If anything, it's MORE awkward now, knowing what we did.  And every person in that restaurant is going to notice how bizarre we're acting. _

 

Deciding he wasn't going down without a fight, Rin pulled in a slow breath, working up his courage.  "Rei."

 

"Mm?"

 

"What's wrong."

 

The smile Rei turned to Rin was INFURIATING, impeccably precise and polite.  "Not a thing," Rei lilted, returning his gaze to the sidewalk and walking the tiniest bit faster than he was.  "We should hurry; I'd hate to keep them waiting any longer than-"

 

"REI."  Rin's hand whipped over, grabbing Rei's and pulling him to stop.  "Forget dinner for a minute. We'll get there when we get there-" Rin's eyebrows shot up when Rei yanked his hand away, stammering slightly through his words.  "A-and um, no one is gonna die if we're a little late..."

 

There was an obvious question in Rin's eyes, and Rei sighed, shoulders slumping tiredly.  "It would be best if we didn't make a habit of that," Rei stated in a cool voice, gesturing to Rin's hand.  "It would be a bit hard to explain, if we were seen."

 

"Oh, for god's…"  Rin's fingers fisted in his hair, teeth gritting.  "I don't CARE, Rei. Fine. I won't fucking touch you.  But WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG? You were totally fine, and then all of a sudden…"  Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Rin scoffed. "Then this."

 

"Why were you touching me in the first place?"  Eyebrows furrowing in concern, Rei looked Rin up and down.  "And what happened to the plushy?"

 

Stunned, Rin blinked slowly, a tiny 'what?' leaving his lips before his brows drew together, furious.  "Are you serious? What the-" Cutting himself off, Rin resisted the urge to stomp away, knowing that, no matter how much he did NOT want to, they needed to clear the air before they subjected themselves to the scrutiny of their friends.  "I must have left it in the purikura," he muttered, his eyes falling closed. "But I touched you," Rin sighed, tone defeated, "because… I don't really know why. It happened before I realized it."

 

Rei's expression softened, and he nodded.  "That's kind of what I mean. If it were Sousuke-san, rather than me, that asked you why you held my hand, it would be very difficult to answer."

 

_ It's difficult to answer YOU, _ Rin grumbled to himself.  "Right…" he said instead, nervously bouncing on his toes.  Rei didn't seem to be in much better shape himself, an obvious grimace on his face while his fingers tapped uncomfortably on his thighs.  

 

_ Is he freaking out because he's figured out I'm not just trying to get in his pants? _ Rin wondered, eyes squinting as he scrutinized Rei's jaw, the muscles there twitching tensely. _   He seems willing enough to be physical with me, though out in public is probably not the best place to do it, but maybe holding hands seems a little… out of place, if he's thinking this is a purely sexual thing. _

 

Rin's thoughts were interrupted when a sharp breath puffed from Rei's nose, and he reached out, grabbing Rin's forearm.  "Come here."  

 

Stumbling, a bit wary of the strange heat  _ (is that ANGER?) _ in Rei's eyes, Rin did his best to stay upright as Rei dragged him into a narrow alley between buildings, the two coming to a stop with Rin's back to the wall.  Rin bit back the question on his lips when Rei pressed himself entirely against Rin, his nose and mouth at Rin's ear. "I apologize for being difficult," he whispered, Rin unable to hide the shiver along his spine at Rei's breath.  "But THIS. Why do I find myself wanting this? So much so that I seem determined to destroy our friendship with my greed?"

 

Rei's strained admission had Rin's entire body flushing with warmth, sparks of anticipation crackling over his skin.   _ Holy SHIT, he wants me that badly?  God, he doesn't even seem like 'Rei', right now. _   Breaths rapidly tearing from his chest, Rin's mind whirred.   _ I would have never guessed he'd be the sort to be so into casual sex.  Unless he…  _ Rin was desperate to know what, exactly, Rei meant, twisting his head to catch a glimpse of Rei's face, but Rei tucked his nose behind Rin's ear, inhaling long and deep.  "I'm so sorry," Rei mouthed softly into Rin's skin, his breath catching when Rin slid his hands to Rei's chest.

 

"Look…  Whatever's going on here, let's just…  I'm not mad, okay?" Pushing gently, Rin put some space between them, embarrassed smile twitching at his mouth.  "You don't need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. We obviously uh… I mean, so there's some…" Laughing, Rin shrugged his shoulders, his features pulling into a 'whoops' sort of expression.  "There's some obvious… tension... here. And it's both of us, so stop beating yourself up."

 

They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity, Rin waiting for Rei to respond in some way, his eyes inscrutable behind his glasses.  He seemed on the brink of speaking, but remained frustratingly silent, and Rin eventually sighed, letting his head fall back against the wall. "Okay, how about this.  I'm just going to say this out loud, because I'm starting to feel more and more dumb for dancing around it. I don't know how it happened, I don't know WHEN it happened, but I have wanted you for a long time, now.  And I have no idea when you started feeling that way too, but here we are, and it's obvious, and now we both know."

 

Sucking in a slow breath, Rin carefully chose his words before continuing.  "I think you and I need to talk about this, somewhere we won't be interrupted, somewhere we can relax…"  When Rei's eyebrow shot up, Rin giggled nervously. "And I'm serious about the talking part. Seems like we've got some things we need to be honest with each other about, and we need to figure out what we're going to do, so we aren't pawing at each other like horny schoolkids every time we're together.  But like… We can't have that conversation right now. We are…" Rin slid his phone from his pocket, wincing. "We are officially late, now. Let's just… chill for tonight. We can deal with this when we have some time to talk it out, okay?"

 

Rin watched in fascination as a slow, broad smile dawned on Rei's face.  "That seems reasonable enough," Rei agreed, eyes sparkling. Taking a step forward, Rei stopped just shy of Rin's chest, lowering his chin slightly.  "I'd like to kiss you," he chuckled, settling a hand to Rin's cheek, his thumb a hair's breadth from Rin's lips. "In the interest of honesty."

 

Draping his arms around Rei's shoulders, Rin gave him a playful grin.  "In the interest of honesty," Rin murmured, brushing Rei's nose with his own, "I wish you would."

 

When their lips met, there was none of the driving heat from before, the softness of the movement instead warming Rin like a blanket on a chilly day.  Rei's hand slid to the back of Rin's neck, pulling him closer, their mouths slotting easily together while Rei pressed gentle, slow caresses to Rin's lips, matching sighs easing from their noses.   _ This is…  _ Rin struggled to think much of anything through the warm, hazy pleasure filling his mind, but…   _ This is TENDER.  He's being so… careful, with me.  Sweet, even. Loving. Holy shit... _

 

Rei didn't offer to deepen their kiss, and Rin found he didn't mind at all.  With hands fisted in the back of Rei's blazer, he let Rei do whatever he wanted.   _ If I wasn't falling for the guy before, I definitely am now.  Wowsa, this kiss… How can something so small make me feel so… safe? _   Rei's other hand came up, cradling Rin's face, and Rin realized it was a distinct possibility he was actually going to swoon. _   I think I could stay like this forever and not complain. _   No sooner did he have the thought than Rei made a soft sound in his throat, dragging his nose along the underside of Rin's, and when Rei finally stepped back, cheekbones pink and lips parted with slow, heavy breath, Rin had never seen anything so beautiful.

 

"Wow," Rin whispered, involuntarily, and when his eyes flew wide with embarrassment, Rei's cheeks reddened further, a surprised smile curling his lips.

 

"Wow, indeed," he tittered, seeming to startle himself with his own laughter.  Rin couldn't help snorting in response, and the ridiculous sound broke the serious mood, the two chuckling embarrassedly, their bodies relaxing with each hitched breath.  It didn't take them long to settle down, the silence afterward a little less weighty than it had been before. "Okay," Rei pushed out, voice quiet and smile resigned- wistful, almost, the stretch of his lips not quite reaching his eyes.  "So all of that is out of the way, and we will discuss this later, and we have a dinner to attend."

 

"Let's do this," Rin agreed, feeling more confident and at ease than he had in weeks.   _ There is no way you kiss someone like that, unless you feel SOMETHING for them.  Maybe this is going to work out a bit better than I thought. _

  
  


*

  
  


"It's weird having to wait on Rei," Makoto laughed, topping off his beer.  "He's usually the first one here."

 

"Right?  I hope they aren't gonna keep him all night," Nagisa pouted, dragging a pitiful glance across the table to Sousuke.  "And where's Rin-chan? I haven't seen him in years!"

 

"I'm not his keeper," Sousuke snorted, a slight shrug lifting his shoulders.  "But I'll admit I'm not used to beating him places."

 

"They're right there," Haru said softly, pointing a slender finger to the doorway, and the others turned to see the two men in question speaking to the hostess.

 

Nagisa watched eagerly as the two made their way across the restaurant, heading for the private room, and felt his head tilt, brows furrowing.  There was nothing particularly strange going on, Rin and Rei laughing and talking as they rounded the last table, but he found himself blocking out the chatter in the room in an attempt to hear what the other two were saying.

 

"...all that wasted time and effort," floated to Nagisa's ears, Rei's eyebrow raised accusingly.

 

"I'd hardly call that wasted," Rin murmured, and Nagisa's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline when Rin smiled up at Rei, eyes dark and half-lidded, then stepped into the room.  "Sorry I'm late!" Rin announced, making a show of bowing in apology, ignoring Sousuke's 'where the hell have you been?'. "Wow, you saved me a seat by the birthday boy?" Rin chuckled, making his way around the table as Rei quietly slid into the chair closest to the door, hand raised in greeting.

 

"My apologies for running late," Rei offered, directing a warm smile to everyone present.  "I hope you didn't have to wait long."

 

Sousuke settled a hand on Rei's shoulder, giving it a brisk pat.  "YOU had an excuse," he snickered, flicking a finger at Rin. "Unlike THIS dumbass."

 

"Sorry, sorry," Rin laughed, holding up his hands in surrender.  "I was busy purchasing, and then promptly LOSING, Makoto's birthday present."

 

As Rin's friends laid into him, raucous teasing and exclamations raising the volume in the room considerably, Nagisa squinted across the table, waiting for Rei to look his way. Of course, it wasn't long before he did, the two contemplating each other without speaking. Nagisa arched a brow questioningly, and when a smile turned the edge of Rei's lips, Nagisa blinked, confused.

 

_ 'We need to talk',  _ Rei mouthed at him, hidden from the others with a carefully placed hand, and Nagisa only just held in his surprise, nodding and continuing to study Rei as he returned his attention to the rest of the table.

 

"It was really a present for your dog, anyway," Rin asserted.  "Or it probably would have ended up that way, at least."

 

"My DOG?  You didn't have to get me anything at all, but why would you get something for my dog?"

 

"Good pets deserve attention," Rin smoothly replied, unsurprised when Rei's eyes shot to him from across the room, and smiled innocently when Rei's face flushed.

 

"I guess so," Makoto warmly agreed, beaming.  "She's a good girl, most of the time. Still a puppy though," he added with a long-suffering sigh, pulling out his phone.  "It's hard to stay mad at her though… She's so cute!"

 

Leaning over, Makoto pushed the phone in front of Nagisa, who was openly gaping at the expression on Rei's face, and Nagisa startled slightly before screeching and snagging the phone from Makoto's hands.  "Oh my GOOOOOD! She's precious! I want to squeeze her and kiss her and put her in the crock pot!"

 

"Please don't eat my dog," Makoto giggled, Nagisa eagerly scrolling through endless photos of the puppy playing, the puppy sleeping, the puppy flopped miserably on the floor with her head in a cone, the puppy with some sort of ribbon attached to her collar…

 

"Oooh!" Makoto cooed, snatching his phone back, sliding it to the table so everyone could see.  "This was after her first obedience class! She did so good… The instructor was really impressed with her, because she's so young!!  She's like a completely different dog, when you put her on a leash."

 

"It's amazing what a collar and a firm hand can do for a pet's behavior," Rin murmured, eyes trained deliberately on the phone, therefore missing the flash of pure terror on Rei's face before he blinked slowly, consciously relaxing his jaw.

 

Nagisa wasn't even trying to hide his stupefaction, stunned gaze locked on Rei, and when Rei lifted his eyes from the table, he visibly flinched.  "You're kidding me," Nagisa droned under his breath, expression hardening.

 

"Not now," Rei hissed, fingers waving in a tiny 'cut it out' gesture.

 

Pulling himself up to his full height, Nagisa slowly leaned back in his chair, nostrils flaring.  Despite the lively conversation happening right beside them, Nagisa's silence felt like a physical weight pressing on Rei's shoulders, and any residual good feelings he had from his evening so far rapidly dissolved.  "I'm sorry!" Rei pushed through gritted teeth, Nagisa's eyes sliding disgustedly from him to land on Sousuke, not even gracing Rei with a reply.

 

"No shit, though...  I was in the middle of explaining where we'd be heading for the day, and this lady just like… sidles up to me and clicks a damned leash around my waist!  I was so surprised, I asked her what the hell she was doing, in Japanese! Which, of course, she didn't understand… By the time I managed to remember I was supposed to speak English, she'd crept back to the group, and her damned kid was clamped onto my leg like a koala."

 

"Show them the picture," Rin wheezed, doubled over, the rest of the table guffawing in appreciation, even the friends of Makoto's Sousuke didn't know begging to see the photo.

 

Dinner progressed almost BORINGLY normally, everyone having a grand time sharing stories and getting caught up on each other's lives, only Nagisa (and occasionally Rin) noticing Rei seemed quieter than usual.  Nagisa was deliberately ignoring him, making a point of talking to literally everyone else at the table, and while Rei was paying attention to the conversation, laughing in all the right places and doing his best to smile, Rin's curiosity finally got the better of him, and he aimed a carefully questioning glance at Rei.

 

Rei shook his head, nearly imperceptibly, then busied himself with something in his lap, presumably fussing with his napkin.  Rin had just turned to ask Makoto's coworker more about his job when he felt his phone vibrate, the buzz jerking him upright in his chair.  When a quick look around the table found everyone else involved in something else, paying him no attention, Rin slipped his phone out, glancing down.

  
  


Rei: Nagisa knows.  I'm going to have to tell him.  About our… sessions.

  
  


Rin raised an incredulous gaze to Rei, Rei's expression inscrutable.

  
  


Rin: WHAT?  How the hell does he know?

Rei: Your ill-advised attempts to tease me were staggeringly obvious to someone who knows what I do.

Rin: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Rin: Maybe if you had a better poker face…  I didn't expect you to blush like a damned schoolgirl.

Rei: God forgive me for having a natural, human reaction to hearing that sort of thing said out loud in front of people I've been carefully keeping out of it for years.

Rin: Look.  Whatever. If he knows, he knows.  Just tell him to keep his trap shut about it.

  
  


Rei sighed, dragging his head up from his phone to find Nagisa watching him hawkishly.  "For god's sake," Rei muttered under his breath, head falling back in exasperation, and decided Nagisa wasn't the only gent capable of playing the 'ignoring' game.

 

It took Rei about 5 minutes to realize that should have been his plan from the very beginning, Nagisa now actively trying to get his attention, And Rei pushed down a smug laugh.   _ He HATES being ignored.  I'm such a fool… He may be angry at me for keeping this from him, but what he really wants is to know we are still close, still best friends.  He should be more than ready to talk to me, once dinner is finished. _

 

Once the food and dishes were cleared from the table, presents and cards opened (Rei congratulating himself on not forgetting his own card for Makoto, tugging it from his pocket with undisguised relief), the party began disbanding.  Handshakes, hugs, and promises to be in touch made their way around the room, and slowly they all filtered out into the night. Rei was careful to shake Rin's hand in precisely the same way he did Haru and Makoto's, eyebrows raising in surprise when Sousuke pulled him in for a quick hug.  

 

"Good to see you again, Rei," Sousuke murmured, a mysterious smile on his face, and Rei stammered out a 'wonderful to see you as well', waving goodbye to everyone, and he and Nagisa set off for the station.

 

They weren't more than a few meters down the sidewalk before Nagisa shot him an incredulous glare.  "Start talking."

 

Rei's eyes briefly closed as he pulled in a fortifying breath.  "Surely it is blindingly obvious why I hadn't mentioned this before."

 

"Not really," Nagisa lilted, voice rough with forced cheer.  "Seems you could have brought it up, I don't know, literally any time."

 

"It wasn't my secret to share."

 

Nagisa scoffed, roughly shoving his hands in his pockets.  "You know I wouldn't have told a soul. How long has this been going on?"

 

"He was the new sub," Rei sighed, resigned to getting it all out in the open.  "We didn't know we were communicating with each other until he showed up at the restaurant."

 

Skidding to a stop, Nagisa gaped, so shocked his anger was instantly forgotten.  "OH MY GOD… Oh my god!! Oh holy…" Rei's lips pressed into a tight line as Nagisa proceeded to lose his SHIT, laughing so hard tears began to stream down his face.  "Noooooo…" he sobbed, barely holding himself up with hands braced on his knees. "Why? Why couldn't I have been there? That would have been the pinnacle of everything good in my life, to see your faces when you realized what was going on!"

 

"It was terrible," Rei whimpered, face pained.  "I wanted to die. And he was no better; I thought for a moment he'd lost his mind.  He was catatonic, and then when he finally did snap to, he started laughing so loudly I thought they were going to kick us out."

 

"Oh Rei-chan," Nagisa cried, reaching out to squeeze Rei's hand, sniffling through his hitching breaths.  "That is the best thing I've ever heard… God, you must have been freaking out!"

 

"One of the most uncomfortable things I've ever had to suffer through," Rei mumbled, the memory alone bringing a flush to his cheeks.  "I was afraid we'd never speak to each other again." Tugging briskly at Nagisa's arm, Rei got them walking again.

 

Nagisa continued to giggle, Rei resigned to his fate, and soon enough, Nagisa was back at it.  "So… How in the WORLD did you guys go from 'please god let me DIE' to 'sure, let's scene together'?"

 

Thinking back, Rei found himself surprised at how, even then, he'd wanted Rin's company so badly, he was afraid to tell him no.  "It was his first attempt at entering the scene," Rei explained, a wry smile stretching his lips. "I think he just wasn't sure he'd have the courage to try again, and…  He was very convincing. I wanted to help."

 

"Huh," Nagisa grunted, his laughter finally subsiding.  "Unreal. So like… I mean, has it been going okay, then?  Is it weird hanging out with him normally?"

 

_ And here we go. _   They entered the station, Rei leading them to the correct platform, and Rei thought for a moment, Nagisa's eyebrows slowly raising as the time ticked by.

 

"Rei-chan?" Nagisa inquired softly, concern obvious in his tone.

 

"Right," Rei breathed, turning to face the empty tracks.  "It went well until it didn't." Rei noted Nagisa's sudden look of apprehension and forged ahead.  "We allowed ourselves to grow a bit… sloppy, I suppose, with boundaries, and ah…" Nagisa snuck his hand into Rei's, and Rei gave it a grateful squeeze.  "We had a pretty horrible falling out. He wouldn't speak to me for weeks. Which conveniently coincided with me determining I… I have romantic feelings for him."

 

Nagisa's breath sucked in through his lips in an inadvertent whistle, but he held his silence, a tight grasp of his fingers urging Rei to go on.

 

"I did not go to the apartment tonight, though you may have already surmised that," Rei admitted, expression thoughtful.   _ How do I explain this?  I'm not even sure MYSELF what's going on. _   "We had already met up in an attempt to fix things between us, after our argument, and that went… poorly.  He and I both needed to apologize, and we did, in a way, but instead of talking it out, I... tried to kiss him.  It was only by the grace of god that we were interrupted."

 

"Wait…  Was this that night you called me all pissed and drunk and bitching about a 'coworker' trying to suck your face?"

 

Rei laughed before he could stop himself, shaking his head and letting his chin fall to his chest.  "Oh god… No… That was long before all of this happened. But, since I'm coming clean about everything else, I suppose there's no harm in telling you it was Rin-san I was angry with, that night."

 

Nagisa looked positively stumped, so confused it took him a moment to even formulate a reply.  "What? Wait… So that happened BEFORE you argued? Or like… before you realized you had feelings for him?"

 

"Yeah," Rei sighed, the two turning to watch the train rumble in, and Rei waited until they were seated and on their way before speaking again.  "Looking back, I believe I was already in over my head a bit, but at the time, I was just confused by the situation, and felt taken advantage of."

 

"No, that isn't…  I mean, why the hell was HE trying to kiss YOU, when it's you that's got all these snuggly-feels?"

 

Jaw clenching, Rei felt his chest tighten, his eyes growing glassy with moisture.  "He doesn't seem to have an issue with… physical intimacy, with his friends. Apparently does it all the time, when he's been drinking.  He just thought it would be something fun to do, to pass the time, I suppose."

 

Incredulousness personified, face almost comical in its scrunched disbelief, Nagisa wildly shook his head.  "No… That's not right, surely. Or at least, on the many, many occasions we all went out together, I never once saw him do anything even remotely like that."

 

The look Rei turned to Nagisa made Nagisa's breath catch in his throat, Rei so obviously heartbroken Nagisa felt tears forming in his own eyes.  "Then I don't KNOW, Nagi! I have no clue! We met at the arcade tonight before dinner, and he was ALL OVER ME. Touching me, flirting with me… For god's sake, we made out in a purikura booth!  AND IN AN ALLEYWAY ON THE WAY TO THE RESTAURANT! He was willing, and I was too weak to say no!"

 

Nagisa wasn't sure he'd ever feel surprised again, each thing tumbling from Rei's mouth magically more unbelievable than the last, and he found himself speaking before his brain had a chance to catch up.  "Purikura?" he whispered, eyes huge. "You… made out? In… a photo booth?"

 

"Perhaps you'd like to see an illustrated, step-by-step diagram of the disintegration of my willpower," Rei grumbled, pulling out his wallet and sliding the photo strip out, passing it over.  "I am completely and utterly screwed. We managed to talk a bit after I basically did everything but announce 'I love you' when I dragged him into that alley, and we decided we're going to discuss whatever this…"  Rei's hands lifted, whether in confusion or a prayer, Nagisa wasn't sure. "THING, is, between us, later."

 

"But he's kissing YOU," Nagisa squeaked under his breath, pointer finger lodged firmly on the photo strip.  "Did you tell him you… care about him?"

 

"Of course not," Rei huffed, snagging the pictures and putting them away before crossing his arms, surly.  "I'm already afraid I've destroyed our friendship. I'm not going to pour gasoline on an already burning dumpster."

 

"Wow, Rei-chan," Nagisa whispered, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.  "Sometimes, you are unbelievably stupid."

 

The dead-eyed stare Rei aimed at him pulled a fully-fledged giggle from Nagisa's throat.  "I'm well aware, Nagisa."

 

Shaking his head, Nagisa did his best to calm his laughter, once more reaching for Rei's hand.  "Noooo, Rei-chan. He's fallen for you. It's obvious, if you'd get your head out of your ass! You both have probably been too afraid to say anything, but…  If he's coming on to you, flirting with you, touching you, KISSING YOU…"

 

Nagisa proceeded to sigh so loudly and for so long, a woman sitting several rows away turned in her seat to see what was going on.  "Jesus, Rei. I have no idea how long you two have been tripping all over yourselves and each other, making a mess of things, but you need to fix it right now.  Call him when we get home."

 

"Wh-  No! I can't just… just CALL him and say something like that!  What if I ruin everything? I have no reason to believe he feels the same, and he might…"  Trailing off, Rei recalled their last kiss, the memory warming him like a coalfire, from the inside out.   _ I put every single thing I was feeling into that kiss, and he gave it right back to me.  Oh… Oh my god. _

 

Eyes wide, Rei jerked his head to Nagisa, taking in his serene, encouraging smile.  "No way…" he breathed, Nagisa simply nodding. "Well," Rei mumbled, pulling his glasses from his face to rub at his eyes.  "I can't just call him. I'll let him know I'd like to speak with him, and invite him over for dinner, once you've gone back home.  This sort of thing should be handled in person, anyhow."

 

Nagisa watched him for a moment longer, head tilting.  "You good, then?" he asked quietly, catching Rei's gaze.

 

"I'm good," Rei assured him, and both men broke slowly into wide, happy grins.

 

"ReeeeeEEEEEEI!" Nagisa screeched, slamming his hands to Rei's shoulders and shaking him, Rei laughing the entire time.  "REI-CHAN, YOU ARE IN LOVE!! OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD! And it's RIN-CHAN, I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEE I'M SO HAPPY!"

 

By now, the entire train car was staring at them, but Rei was having difficulty giving one single shit.  They giggled nearly the entire way home, and for the first time in years, Rei felt on top of the world when he crawled into bed.  Smiling so big it hurt, Rei pulled his phone to his face, tapping out a message.

  
  


Rei: Things are good with Nagisa, and he won't breathe a word of it to anyone.  I'd like to see you, if that's alright. As soon as possible. May I make you dinner Sunday night?

  
  


Rin's eyes dropped from the TV to his phone, the screen lighting up on the coffee table.   _ Huh.  It's kinda late for someone to be getting a hold of me, isn't it? _   Flopping to his side to stretch an arm out, he snagged it and felt his heart skip a beat.   _ Oh shit, it's Rei… _   Rin's breath sped up as he read the text, re-reading it over and over, an excited smile creeping onto his face. _   If I'm not mistaken…  He's asking me over for a date. _   Fist clenched in victory, Rin considered his response.

  
  


Rin: I want to see you, too.  Sunday night sounds great. Should I bring anything?

Rei: You are all I need.  :) Oh, and a bottle of wine, if that tickles your fancy.

  
  


Gasping, Rin launched himself from the sofa, excitement sending him at a full run to his bedroom, where he leapt, spread eagle, into his bed.  "OH HELL YES!" he shouted, shoving his face into his pillow and screaming at the top of his lungs.

 

Rei was staring holes into his phone, teeth gritted in apprehension, fingers fisted in his sheets.   _ Did I go too far?  What if Nagisa is wrong, and I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life?  What if he's so offended he never speaks to me aga- _   "GEH!" Rei spat when his phone went off in his hand.

  
  


Rin: Sounds lovely.  :) I can't wait.

  
  


"NAAAA-GI-SAAAAAH!" Rei boomed, and before he had a chance to catch his breath, his bedroom door flew open, a blonde streak firing across his room to flop out, squealing, on top of the bed.  "Oh my GOD, I think you might be right…"

 

"I KNOW I'm right, Rei-chan!" Nagisa exulted, poking him in the side.  "Why do you ever doubt me?"

 

"Because I'm a fool," Rei sighed, his eyes closing over an ecstatic grin.  "Nagisa… Thank you."

 

"Awww…  Of course, Rei-chan."  With a cheerful pat to the leg, Nagisa wished him good night, and Rei was almost instantly asleep, his dreams hopeful and happy and warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to get Isuzu, Sousuke, and Nagisa together in a room, and let them commiserate and bitch and laugh at their DUMBASS FRIENDS. And offer them all a weekend at an onsen, or something. They've earned it.


End file.
